folby
The Great One  
Posts 3399
Registered 9-11-2003 Location schmocation Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 4-11-2005 at 04:29 AM |
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Ring of Honor Reviewed: The Road to the Title
I've said it before, I'll say it again: if you haven't read my review of the first show, read it now. I explain why in that one.
Here's a link. After that, read the second one.
(Link.) After that, read the third one.
(Link.)
Road to the Title
Ring of Honor's fourth show opens with a closeup of the tattoo on Lo-Ki's left arm. We zoom out to see Lo-Ki sitting with his head down
while one of the members of Hit Squad leans in and gets him psyched up. Other members of Lo-Ki's support group include Homicide and Bugaloo.
(See, they're all from Brooklyn, so they train together, and are friends.) Lo-Ki gets all worked up and goes into a frenzy, giving the wall
some forearm shivers, before turning around and telling the camera to tell Christopher Daniels that it isn't over, and that the ROH title will
be his. (Lo-Ki's that is.)
After that we get a bunch of shots of road signs that lead to the Murphy rec center in Philadelphia (ROH's home base), all set to some lame
techno music. Then we get the standard "you'll know who's on this tape because we're gonna show you all of their entrances" thing
that ROH does. After a short video package of American Dragon hitting some moves on Spanky (footage from last month) we move on to our first
match.
Biohazard vs. American Dragon
Biohazard is also a graduate of the Texas Wrestling Academy. He was recently in a WWE dark match. Biohazard is a bit bigger than Dragon, but not as
fast. There's a funny moment early in the match where Biohazard chops Dragon and Dragon's eyes snap open really wide, and he looks around
like "Did he just chop me?" So he moves in and Biohazard chops him again. He gets the same look on his face, real shocked like. Then he chops the
crap out of Biohazard, culminating in a knife-edge to just below his throat, putting Biohazard on his ass. Dragon follows up with some serious
forearms, and the crowd is loving it. It's a testament to American Dragon how he's managed to hook the crowd with nothing but chops and
forearms. Dragon, like certain other short but technically gifted wrestlers, isn't so great on the mic. He does, however, have a natural
charisma in his wrestling. (P.S. Don't write Dragon off a a junior Chris Benoit. He's better than that. He's got the chops and
suplexes of Benoit, the head submissions of Misawa, and the kicks of Tajiri. My point here is that Dragon is something special, so while at first
glance he will remind you of Chris Benoit, stick around. There's plenty more to the American Dragon show.) Dragon cinches in the cattle
mutilation (his special submission hold) and Biohazard taps within seconds. They shake hands, and we're done.
Match Grade: C+ The plus is for Dragon. He's great, but really just a squash.
Spanky vs. Paul London
We get a video package that reminds us that in the last three months, all of Spanky's matches have ended in the same way: Spanky hits Sliced
Bread #2, and then gets the pinfall victory. Spanky wears spandex pants this time, so they're not gonna split on him. This is early in Paul
London's ROH career, and it's the first match where you get to see him work for any extended period of time. London keeps up with Spanky
in terms of speed and high flying, and pretty quickly gets the crowd behind him. London has that Ricky Steamboat babyface magic, people just love the
guy. It's also worth noting that London and Spanky get a "holy shit" chant just for a superkick. (It was a really sweet superkick.) Also, I
think the commentary track is out of sync with the footage. It seems like it's just a half second ahead of the action. Maybe it's just
me. This match also features the ROH debut of "Paul London's Patent-Pending Superbumps". That is to say, London gets dropped on his head.
He's really really good at that, and not in the sense that Tony Mamaluke is good at it. He's good at it in the sense that he takes a bump
and you scream and pick up the phone and call 911 and they're like "Hello 911 what's your emergency?" And you're like
"Nevermind, he kicked out." And then 911 is like "He wouldn't if I had chokeslammed him." Wait, what? Anyways, not to long after London
lands on his head Spanky hits him with Sliced Bread #2 and gets the pin.
Match Grade: B+ The plus is for how well these two work together.
Next we get a video package showing off Doug Williams (who has not appeared on any previous ROH shows) and Jay Briscoe. Briscoe's clips center
around the J-Driller. You know, for someone who has such a cool (and brutal) finisher, Briscoe sure does lose a lot.
Doug Williams vs. Jay Briscoe
The commentators inform us that Doug Williams is from the UK, and that his nickname is "The Anarchist". Williams is a lot bigger than Briscoe, and
therefore probably stronger. Williams has a really strong mat game, and Briscoe is able to keep up. Williams is also quite fast for a man his size.
Mark Briscoe doesn't come out with his brother, but he does wander out to ringside once the match is underway. He then proceeds to watch his
brother get beat by Doug Williams, thanks to Williams' finisher, "the chaos roll", which is a pretty nifty move. He gets the guy in a
waistlock, then does a back somersault, rolls onto his feet, (all without letting go of the waistlock) and pulls his opponent all the way through into
a belly-to-back suplex. It's kind of hard to picture, but rest assured, by the time he gets to the suplex, his opponent is moving with a decent
amount of force. Mark Briscoe shakes his head at his brother's loss, but the crowd is on their feet letting Doug Williams know that they like
his style.
Match Grade: B- The minus is for Briscoe.
Johnny Storm vs. Jody Fleisch
I decided to take this month off from hating on Amazing Red and company. Luckily, these two schmucks come along and act all clownshoes, leaving me
with an outlet for my frustration with certain types of indie wrestlers. Anyhow, on with the match. Storm and Fleisch (actually, I'm gonna
call him Jody, as it's easier to type) Storm and Jody are two young men from the UK, but apparently, from a different UK than Doug Williams, as
they have no mat game and are all high-flying. All the time. No matter what. Yes, whether they're supposed to be selling a previous move, or
whether or not it makes sense in the flow of the match, it doesn't matter, these two are going to fly. They've wrestled each other so
many times that it's more like a dance. Storm hits Jody with a somersault plancha on the outside, and lands on his feet, which I guess is neat.
Here's a perfect example of what I don't like about these two: They're shooting each other into the ropes, when Jody sidesteps
Storm and throws a dropkick to his midsection. Now, instead of moving in the direction he was kicked, Storm keeps running forward, towards the ropes.
Only once he gets to the ropes, he doesn't bounce off of them, he goes flying through the middle, for no discernible reason at all. He clearly
bent down and launched himself out of the ring, leaving his opponent behind. Idiot. After that, Jody pulls off a springboard shooting star press.
To his credit, it looks better than the one Billy Kidman tried to pull off some time ago. To his detriment, he barely hits Storm. (Storm was
standing, which doesn't present the ideal target for a SSP.) Jody rolls storm back into the ring, and no less than a second later,
they're running and rolling around the ring, as if neither had gotten hit with anything. I should mention that in spite of my hating on these
two, the crowd eats it up. So good for them, I guess. You know, they're only lowering the realism of professional wrestling, and cheapening
the impact of any and all high spots, but who cares? They got a good pop. A friend of mine is really bothered by this kind of thing: "The loss of
realism and the popularity of wrestling amongst kids who don't understand it is going to be the death of pro wrestling in North America. For
every Paul London we get 500 Necro Butchers. For every Brian Danielson we get 500 Brian XLs."
Match Grade: F- The minus is for managing to wrestle a ten minute match and still be a detriment to wrestling itself.
Backstage, the Christoper St. Connection are so impressed by Jerry Lynn's ability to eat a banana that they insist he have a second one. After
that we get a video package recapping last month, when Lo-Ki knocked Prince Nana out with a forearm shiver. That was pretty funny. So this month
they have a match in the first round.
Lo-Ki vs. Prince Nana
Nana dominates the early minutes of this match, getting on Lo-Ki early and staying on top of him using his size advantage. But once Lo-Ki gets going,
Nana doesn't really stand a chance. The end comes out of nowhere when Ki hits a back brain kick (like an enziguri only without the opponent
holding your foot) on Nana, and Nana goes down and doesn't come back up. This is probably a work playing off of last month's forearm, but
it's plenty of fun. The main reason I suspect it's a work is how much the announcers play it up as serious, and how much footage we get
of Nana lying there while Lo-Ki paces back and forth. When Chris Marvel's ankle snapped in his match against Paul London, they cut to something
else fairly quickly. This time, you see the whole thing, including Nana getting carried from the ring. Lo-Ki wins by default.
Match Grade: C+ The plus is for how much fun it is to watch Lo-Ki mess people up.
Backstage again we get two segments: The first is a lame plug for some music site, and the second is the members of SAT and Divine Storm wish Amazing
Red good luck in his match.
Amazing Red vs. Xavier
Red tends to step up his game when he's wrestling someone better than Quiet Storm, so that's pretty good. Xavier plays up his size and
strength over Red, with Red showcasing his high-flying ability. It's worth noting that this match contains Amazing Red's first ROH use of
that move that's best described as "Wait...what the fuck did he just do?" You may remember it as that move that Rey Mysterio used against
Jamie Noble on Smackdown, and despite about ten replays, it still wasn't easy to get a handle on it. It works kind of like this: Red comes off
the ropes and his opponent (in this case Xavier) bends down so Red can leapfrog. Red starts to leapfrog, but only goes halfway, and instead sits down
on Xavier's back. Xavier grabs on to Red's legs, and Red starts to roll down as Xavier starts to stand up straight. The natural momentum
then carries Red through in a sunset flip style, and brings Xavier over and onto his back. You kind of have to see it. (About a dozen times.)
Anyhow, Rey doing it on Smackdown can be assumed to be a tribute to Amazing Red, and after that, Red started doing the 619, only he called it the 718,
because that's his area code. It's also worth noting that neither Red nor Xavier has the sense to save such a crazy move for the finish.
The actual finish comes just like every other Amazing Red victory: "Simply Amazing" from the top rope, standing shooting star press, then the
pin.
Match Grade: B- The minus is for Amazing Red's ever present sloppiness.
After the camera follows Xavier through the curtain, we find Christopher Daniels waiting for him. He's upset with Xavier because he was
counting on Xavier to be the man to take Lo-Ki out of this tournament, and now he's failed to beat even the Amazing Red. After that we get a
video package recapping Scoot Andrews' challenge to Christopher Daniels last month for a first round match. Then we find Scoot Andrews
backstage, where someone introduces him to Sumie Sakai, a female Japanese wrestler.
Christopher Daniels vs. Scoot Andrews
Daniels comes out to the ring first, and before Scoot comes out Daniels cuts a promo. He talks about how he's had to face discrimination
against him in ROH, and he's discovered a way to fight this injustice. "One day, the scales fell from my eyes, and I saw it foretold in the
prophecy. The prophecy foretold that I, Christopher Daniels, would lead an elite group of athletes towards one goal, and that one goal is the end of
Ring of Honor." This is the birth of Daniel's heel stable, The Prophecy. Daniels introduces the first member of the Prophecy, the first elite
athlete to help Daniels destroy Ring of Honor, and that athlete is...Simply Luscious. That's right, Simply Luscious the valet, former Nana
servant, former color commentator, that Simply Luscious. Now, there are two ways to look at this. One is that it's a stupid decision by
whoever booked it. The other is that it's a nice touch to Daniels' heel character. See, Daniels may be the fallen angel, and he may want
to destroy Ring of Honor, but he's also a man. And as a man, maybe he saw a frustrated Simply Luscious backstage at a previous show and
well...he got a little distracted, maybe. Either way, it's funny. As for the match, Daniels dispatches with Scoot after hitting him with the
BEST MOONSAULT EVER~! Simply Luscious gets on the mic after the match and says something I can't make out and then slaps Scoot. Scoot takes
the mic back, and Luscious motions that he should punch her in the face. Scoot tells her that the Black Nature Boy would never hit a woman, but he
knows someone who will: Sumie Sakai. So that's why they had that pointless segment backstage.
Sumie Sakai vs. Simply Luscious
This is a pretty ugly match. It's not that neither of these women can wrestle; they both can. It's that they don't click at all,
so it's just really really awkward the whole time. In the end, Sumie Sakai puts Luscious away with a moonsault.
Match Grade: D+ The plus is for Sukai's constant efforts to keep the crowd into the match, imploring them to clap in rhythm with her before she
does a move.
A short video package airs informing us that the next match is between AJ Styles an Jerry Lynn. Clips are shown of both men, and then we go out to
the ring.
AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn
I'm not sure why, but I never much cared for Jerry Lynn. In spite of this, I enjoyed this match. It's a pretty good match, really fast
paced, and both guys have the talent to really bring it. The finish comes when Styles reverses a cradle piledriver into the Styles Clash.
Match Grade: B+ The plus is for Lynn making me like him.
After we see Lynn and Styles shake hands the camera cuts immediately to Marcos and Dunn standing in the ring. Marcos is on the mic, saying something
I can't quite hear, partially because the crowd is drowning him out. I guess they came out during intermission to claim that they're the
top tag team in Ring of Honor. Well, Da Hit Squad aren't going to stand for that, and they hit the ring and beat the piss out of Dunn and
Marcos. After they're done, Hit Squad gets on the mic and let everybody know that they're the number one tag team in the Ring of Honor.
I guess that brought Divine Storm out to the ring, because we fade into Quiet Storm on the mic, asking the Hit Squad how they can come out there and
claim they're "the top tag team around here." That's not what they said, guy. They said they were the number one tag team in ROH. Try
and pay attention. Anyways, he tells Da Hit Squad that they aren't shit, and that Divine Storm is the top tag team in ROH. That brings SAT out
to the ring, and rather than get on the mic, a brawl breaks out between Hit Squad, Divine Storm, and SAT. The brawl continues until everyone gets
caught up in one of those lucha-style "one after another suicide plancha at ringside" deals, and whose music should hit, but the Christopher St
Connection. They make it to the ring, but before they can really do anything the Natural Born Sinners come out and beat them up. That brings out Loc
and Devito to beat up their arch enemies, the Carnage Crew. Hit Squad comes back into the ring to defend the Sinners from the Carnage Crew. Long
story short, Loc gets put on a table at ringside, and Devito gets powerbombed on top of him. Hit Squad gets back on the mic and reminds everyone that
they're the top tag team in ROH. Naturally, the Sinners object. A fight doesn't break out between the two of them, but there's
clearly some issues there. The whole point of this, other than to set up that there's lots of tag teams in ROH heading for a collision, was to
give people time to rest before the tournament semi-finals.
Jody Fleisch vs. Spanky
Jody Fleisch is as fast as Spanky, but he's nowhere near as talented. This match also features a perfect example of what's wrong with
Jody Fleisch as a wrestler. He has this move that he does, it's a springboard Asai Moonsault to the outside. He stands in the ring, facing
out. He jumps up and spins 180 degrees, so that he's springing off the top rope, facing inside the ring. A simple Asai Moonsault later,
he's on the ground. And I'll give him his propers; it's a neat move. But the problem isn't from the move; it's from
when Jody lands it, smacking his ankle into the guardrail so hard that he dents it. Approximately 40 seconds immediately after denting the guardrail
with his ankle, Fleisch has already rolled Spanky into the ring and is going for a Shooting Star press. Not only does he not pull a "my ankle hurts,
will I be able to pull off this shooting star press", Spanky rolls out of the way so Jody lands on his feet AND DOESN'T SELL A THING. Now,
I'm going to spoil this match a little early and tell you that Spanky wins it. So if you're Jody, and you're already going to lose
the match, why not make that unfortunate accident with the guardrail part of the story? It makes you look better, because your fans can say "Oh,
Jody wouldn't have lost if he hadn't hit that guardrail." It can get Spanky some heel heat if he decides to beat on your 'already
injured ankle'. Or, it can just come into play in the match. But of all those options, why would you choose to act like it never happened.
I'm sure his ankle hurts; it would be impossible to dent the guard rail and not hurt. But Jody wants to be superman, running and flipping
around like nothing ever happened. Why? Because he's a complete fucking idiot. Anyway, he goes down to Sliced Bread #2, just like everybody
else. So Spanky wins Block A of the title tournament, advancing to the 4 man Iron Man match at ROH Crowning a Champion (the show the month after this
one.) Oh yeah, and Jody starts selling his ankle while getting up after being pinned.
Match Grade: D- The minus is for Fleisch. He's lucky I didn't fail his ass again. Sorry Spanky, but Jody is Jody, and there's no
helping him.
Doug Williams vs. American Dragon
This match is one of those "technical wrestling clinics" you always hear about. There's a neat spot early on where Dragon snapmares Williams
over and puts him in a rear chinlock. So Williams counters out, putting Dragon in a hammerlock. So Dragon counters that giving Williams another
snapmare and putting him in a rear chinlock. Williams counters out, putting Dragon in a hammerlock. So Dragon snapmares him a third time, only this
time, he kicks him in the small of the back before clamping the chinlock on again. This time, it works. For a little while, anyways. Williams
inevitably counters again, and the match goes on. Williams is bigger and more experienced than Dragon, and probably stronger too. So as the match
plays out, it seems like he gets the better of Dragon more often than not. Dragon doesn't come off like a loser though, just out-played.
There's another nifty spot where they both have a leg-lock on each other, and they start rolling towards the ropes. Neither one of them grabs
the rope though, because to do that they would have to let go of the hold. Instead, they just keep rolling until they fall onto the floor, still
holding on to each other's leg. The ref gets them to break it up and the match goes on. In the end, Dragon does kick out of the Chaos theory,
but Williams finishes him off with some neck submission into a pin. The crowd is visibly shocked at the result here, as are the announcers. Going by
the history of the first three shows, it's a safe assumption that American Dragon was going to be going to the Ironman match. Well he's
not, Doug Williams is. I think this was a good result, it puts Williams over, and it establishes him as the dark horse in the race, where you
aren't quite sure what he's capable of. All told, a solid match.
Match Grade: B+ The plus is for the surprising result.
Lo-Ki vs. Amazing Red
The crowd shows their appreciation for Lo-Ki by giving him a chant of "You killed Nana *clap**clap* *clap**clap**clap*" Good stuff. Red and
Lo-Ki shake hands to start, but before they let go, Red punches Ki in the mouth. I guess he was trying to prove some kind of point or something.
Anyways, Ki retaliates by kicking him in the leg, and then they really start to go at it. This is the first match I've seen where Lo-Ki really
comes off like an animal. He comes after Red swinging away, and Red does everything he can to stay out of the way. Lo-Ki backs him into the corner,
and with nowhere to go Red falls down, so Lo-Ki attempts to stomp him into the mat. It's pretty neat. Lo-Ki obviously has the size and power
advantage over Red, but Red finds ways to sneak a shot in there, and get a move off here. So Lo-Ki pretty much dominates the match, but Red puts up a
strong showing for himself, and it takes a Ki Crusher off the top rope to put Red away. (This match basically proves the theory that the quality of
an Amazing Red match is directly proportional to the quality of Red's opponent.)
Match Grade: B+ The plus is for Red raising his game.
After the match Brian XL hits the ring and says something to Red that I can't make out. I assume it was an insult though, because he starts to
beat Red up. He goes to hit Red with a move off the top rope, but the SAT hit the ring and foil his plans via the Spanish Fly. After that, we meet
The Natural Born Sinners backstage who plug a Bunkhouse Brawl next month with Loc and Devito.
AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels
Before this match starts we get a backstage segment where the members of Divine Storm express their anger regarding the recent actions of Brian XL.
He decides he'd rather strike out on his own anyways.
Back out in the ring, Styles and Daniels start going at it, grappling style. This is another good match on a crowd already stacked with good matches,
which I think is why it feels a little flat. I mean, I think that because I can't figure out any other reason why it would feel flat. Maybe
I'm just tired. Daniels does his thing, Styles does his, they mesh well together, and it all works. What can I say? Daniels wins, making the
four-way Ironman match Spanky vs. Williams vs. Lo-Ki vs. Daniels.
Match Grade: B- The minus is for it feeling flat. Even though I couldn't figure out why it felt that way, hey, flat is flat.
Well that about does it for Road to the Title. This show is packed from top to bottom with quality matches, even if (unlike the Round Robin
Challenge) none of them are fantastic. I think ROH set out to put together a really really good tournament, to make the title that much more
prestigious. I think they accomplished just that.
Also: FEEDBACK PLZ
[Edited on 4-11-2005 by folby]
Things I have written recently
3/24: On Sandwiches: The Beef on
Weck
3/16: The Rage Against The Machine School of Continuing Education
3/15: On Sandwiches Presents: The Best Possible Sandwich
Chain
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blackdragon
The Great One 
Posts 3491
Registered 11-9-2003 Member Is Offline Mood: Awesome
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| posted on 4-11-2005 at 05:02 PM |
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Damn Master Blaster Piece of Crap. I didn't get any of the extra stuff like the women's match or the tag team melee or even the damn post
match interviews.
As a propenent of insane spotfest, I guess I understand why you'd hate Jodi so much and why we both love London. If London gets dropped on his
head, he'll work that into the intra match story. If Jodi shatters an ankle, he goes all RVD and does all his high-flying moves regardless then
remembers to sell after the fact.
I agree with most of your grades. The only one I have a problem with was for the final match. I guess since I'm a total mark for
Daniels/Styles they could have just did a punchy kicky match with teased finishers and I'd been satisfied.
A ho fucks everybody. A bitch fucks everybody but you.
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B
And I am AWESOME 
Posts 191
Registered 4-14-2005 Location Parkersburg, WV Member Is Offline Mood: Ole ole ole
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| posted on 4-14-2005 at 01:41 AM |
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Great show review, folby. You could even call it "The Amazing Read."
One of the flaws I see with early ROH is the lack of variety. The present high-intensity wrestling with high-intensity wrestling where the wrestlers
jump more. That's to be said of even a lot of the first year. When Joe came to prom and the Pure Wrestling Title showed up things balanced out
a little more.
A show like this is a perfect example. It's like TNA's X-Cup. The matches were entertaining but there were so many, and they were all
relatively the same. Some were much, much better than others, of course, but the stylistic presentation was similar the entire way through.
One of the things that made the J-Cup good was the belief that different wrestlers from different feds would bring different things to the table.
Malenko brought the mat wrestling, Benoit brought the Stampede roughneck style, Sasuke brought the junior style purely and Gedo brought, well, Gedo
sucks. So Gedo brought the ass. But they were different.
I think that's why I enjoy the Red/Ki match from this show more than others. Yes, Red (when he isn't Spriggan) has the tenacity and motor
skills of the cockroach, but his exaggerated spot set-up and Ki's penchant for karate champ fighting sets it apart from the rest of the show.
The rest of the show besides Nana. Nana just looks like something that fell off Mark Henry's thigh.
I'm rambling now, but you catch what I'm getting at. It's one of the reasons why Ki looked like such a main-event guy when he won
the title, and Joe (and Austin Aries) don't necessarily...because you have so much more to choose from.
Great job again, I'm looking forward to future reports.
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Capellan
Showstopper 
Posts 767
Registered 4-10-2005 Member Is Offline Mood: Gaming!
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| posted on 4-14-2005 at 08:56 PM |
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Well, these reviews have caused me to plunk down the cash for a couple of RoH DVDs. So you are having an impact, here 
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