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Author: Subject: OOficial OO BACKLASH Trash Talk Thread
bigfatgoalie
The Man






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 06:54 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
OOficial OO BACKLASH Trash Talk Thread

Here's the rules:

Pick somebody you like/dislike and challenge them to a "match" at the upcoming "PPV" and start talking smack!!!

Keep in mind that the actual matches will be the sole discretion of the booking committee and that all outcomes will be determined by the actual participants with the only exception being that the outcome will DIRECTLY effect the outcome of a match later on the card.

Once you have a match announced by the booking committee, use this thread to hype the match…the better you do, the more likely you’ll get lots of time for your match. As far as outcomes go, get in contact with the booking committee via email, u2u, or during a post RAW chat. THE COMMITTEE DOES NOT PICK THE WINNERS!!!

Also, please keep in mind that this is suppose to be fun!






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Canadian Bulldog
Man of a Thousand Holds






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 04:44 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Wow... I get to go first? Awesome!

(grabs mic)

Well, let me tell you something (the most original opening for a promo EVER!!!). Everywhere I go: restaurants, airports, clubs, in bed with prostitutes, etc., everyone is saying that OOMatt is THE MOST ELECTRIFYING HUMOR COLUMNIST ON ONLINE ONSLAUGHT.

I, for one, am sick of it.

Matt, word on the street has it you're starting to get stale. You repeat the same words over and over again each week, make up things that don't happen and often mis-spell wrestler names.

(wait a sec....)

Look, that's not important. What's important is that I'm calling your ass out! OO Backlash -- the score to settle the war!!! You and me, one on one, to settle this issue once and for all.

Despite the fact that you have more fans than me, have been doing this longer and are more well-known in the IWC, I.... uh... uh.... geez, I've gotta think these promos out in advance a bit more. Now I know how Randy Orton must feel.

Why am I so confident I'll win? One simple reason: Johnny ITR. That's right; Johnny will be in MY corner at Backlash, and not yours, and I'm certain that this isn't foreshadowing a heel turn in the least!!!

It's real simple, BITCH. You beat me, you get Johnny ITR's services for a month. I win.... well, I haven't really thought about that one yet. Perhaps Your Darling Stacy (that somehow doesn't seem like a real fair trade) ?

Anyways, I've made the challenge. It's up to you, Hocking.

BANK ON IT!!!

(music plays)





The book... IS... HERE!!!
The Official Inside The Ropes website
BulldogZone : Official Inside The Ropes Merchandise
The Ridiculously Expensive Canadian BullBLOG

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BoerboelLVR
Man of a Thousand Holds






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 06:11 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I've Got a bone to pick with everyone here at OO.

Not that long ago I did something here that changed the way we do things. That's right, I'm talking about SWEATY...(pause) MAN...(pause) LOVE...(pause for cheap pop)

*silence*

Now all of the sudden everyone is showing sweaty man love for each other. It seems like you've forgotten who is the sweatiest man lover around here. Well allow me to spell it out for you. It's me!

So I'm going to issue and open challenge to anyone in the back. That's right, anyone in OO. I'm challenging you to a...wait for it... wait for it...

A Sweaty Man Love Match!!! (pauses for crowd pop)

*silence*

I'm going to prove that I am the sweatiest man lover. If you think you even have a chance, I'm daring anyone to step into this... very... ring... (pauses for for crowd pop)

*silence*

and prove that they are better at sweaty man love than I am. So anyone at all, I'm waiting. You can try, but you'll never be a better sweaty man lover than I am! Whose got the balls to step in the ring and engage in some sweaty man love with me???

Now Hit... My... Music!!!

*silence*






[Edited on 9-13-2004 by BoerboelLVR]





Don't touch me there!

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ConcreteTG
The Great One






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 08:00 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
(grabs mic as the music dies down)

There are too many times that I come here and read the good, and bad, and ugly that make up this board.

I support the right to free speech on this board - except when it comes to the gloom and doom pundits who come here and tell us that our one wondrous distraction currently sucks and needs to be more like the GLORIOUS past that wrestling itself tends to forget! Then they babble forth their opinions despite not having watched wrestling for a month or so.... what's wrong with this picture, people?

How can you people moan and whine and bitch and complain when you have already turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to the very thing this board represents?

How can your opinion be your own damn OOpinion when you're reading about it here? Those 10 OOsters will give you 11 different OOpinions!

So to these "I don't watch wrestling" anymore posters who are still posting - TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER! I will face any of you in a match of the booking committee's choosing! I will prove to you that for every Mordecai there's a Benoit! for every JBL there's a HHH! For every Eugene there's a JEricho! and for every bad idea brought about, there are good ideas that still make it worth your evening to step away from reality shows, world news, baseball, football, curling, cooking, rooking, falling, blasting, wasting, dancing, prancing, venting and lamenting to get back to that one form of enterttainment that so few can give you with this much glamor, glitz and "go".

Come Backlash, should you mourners of the squared circle defeat me, I will write 1,000 words about why I shouldn't be watching wrestling! However, in my glorious victory, I expect 1,000 words from my demolished opponent on why wrestling is still a part of their lives - and they MUST start watching again!

Come and get me, you grumbling gaggle of gadflies!

What Say, People~!!?

(cue music)

(tosses mic and marches off, one fist raised)






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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 9-13-2004 at 09:46 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
***HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT***

The OO Booking committee is pleased to announce that OO BACKLASH will feature a Downtown Canada Streetfight between Omega and 2Hot!!!

More matches to be announced in the following days!!!

[Edited on 9-13-2004 by bigfatgoalie]






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salmonjunkie
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 09:52 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
*sneaks behind Goalie and smacks him HARD with a steel chair*

I respect you, bookerman.






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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 9-13-2004 at 10:06 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
***HUGE MAIN EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT***

The OO Booking committee is sad to announce that OO BACKLASH will not feature a match with number one contender Eli due to an injury substained at a house show.

Update on the NEW number one contender to follow!!!






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outback jack
The Great One






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 10:08 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I don't have any heat with anyone, but I'm available for run-ins. Well, more like stroll-ins, Kevin Nash style. Well, not exactly like Nash because I wouldn't injure myself, but at about the same "methodical" pace.

Or else I can hang out in a hallway backstage to give someone directions.






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borntorun
God of This World






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 10:12 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
*The opening chords of "Born to Run" play as a furious BTR comes onstage and down the ramp. His forehead is bleeding and he grabs the turnbuckle as he gets in the ring, barely able to stand as he is visibly in pain. Seething, he grabs a mic and paces, looking for words to match his rage. He stops in the middle of the ring and puts the microphone up to his mouth. He bellows a primal scream.*

"PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSS!

"Yes, I said pants. You know why I'm screaming for pants? Because some punk, some stup[censored] pussy-ass mo[censored]fucker cold-cocked me when I wasn't looking, and stole my pants! I usually don't just walk around in wrestling gear, but a man can't be flapping in the wind, can he? Anyway, I could care less about the blood; I can take it. However, I want my pants back, and I want them NOW!

*The crowd waits in anticipation as BTR stares under the TitantrOOn. 30 seconds go by, and...nothing*

Well, I see that the mystery thief who stole my pants is a bit of a sissy. That's okay, I have my suspects. Markout's always talking about how nice my slacks are, and from his lack of a sense of style I'm sure he could use a nice pair of Dockers. Markout, was it you who mugged me of my trousers?

Maybe it was ModSquad004? You're always sniffing around, trying to hump my leg. I was always flattered, thinking that you were attracted to me. But was I wrong? Were you really in love with my pants?

Perhaps it was LuckyLopez. He seems like a nice guy and all, but I don't know. Behind that amiable personality lurks something sinister, a face-bashing, pants-taking psycho who hates bunnies and other cute creatures. Lopez, did you get Lucky with my khakis?

It could be anyone. Each and everyone of you is a suspect, and I'm not resting until I find my pants. I'll settle it now, I'll settle it at Backlash, I'll settle you for life.

You better be born to run. If you're wearing my pants, you will die.

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borntorun
God of This World






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 10:36 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
[Edited on 9-13-2004 by borntorun]

[Edited on 9-13-2004 by borntorun]

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markout
Man of a Thousand Holds






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 10:36 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
*Detroit Rock City blares. Markout enters wearing...nay...carrying a pair of Dockers On-The-Go Pants*

"Oh were you looking for these? I'm sorry...but maybe you left them here when you ABANDONED the fine state of Michigan for OMG~! Maryland! Maybe you forgot them while packing. Or maybe I PUNKED YOU OUT AND TOOK YOUR SISSY PANTS~!!!"

*BTR fumes in the ring*

"Oh yeah. Just between you and me...you might want to start investing in Dockers with Stain Guard. Either that or stop going commando. Shake, then zip my man."

*crowd begins to chant "Owned~!"*

"Just so you know, I didn't take your pants because they were `nice'. I took them because people that abandon pastoral Ypsilanti for OMG~! Maryland! don't deserve the comfort and style provided by such quality slacks!"

"But if you want them back, I'll give you your chance. You want your pants? You can come and get them at Backlash. They'll be hanging above the ring, drying after I bleached the hell out of them to remove the stains! The only way to get them? Not a ladder...oh no. I challenge you to AN IRONING BOARD MATCH!!! Get ready, BTR...at Backlash, I'm putting you and your pants on Permanent Press!"

"And someone...get BTR a loaner set of pants for this match. Those ET Underoos are ridiculous."

*drops the mic and leaves*





Do NOT fuck with my chi.

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Endo
Fella






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 10:36 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote


During my time at OO I've met a lot of people, I've said a lot of things, I've made a lot of posts. I've made friends, enemies, lovers, and acquantinces. But there is one man that I have an unresolved issue with, something that can only be settled in the ring.

ArmyOfOne, I'm talking to you.

For years now you've tried to usurp the glories of my Corps. You were sick of us taking the glory, raising the flags, and scoring with the overseas women. You hated how we met recruiting goals and inspired fear in our enemies. But you kept looking outside, negleting your soul, and you began to rot.

We could have had a peaceful coexistance. Hell, we could have been an amazing team, storming the ranks of OO like the Shockmaster on PCP. But no, Army, you had to take the low road. You had to steal our tactics, our ideals, our strategies. Chicks dig the digis, so you what to you do? You steal our uniform. You keep wanting to look in the mirror and not see yourself, but see me.

Army, I'm almost going to grant you a wish. After OO Backlash, you'll look in the mirror and see reminders of me. The twisted nose, the black eyes, the cuts, the bruises, the gaps where your teeth used to be. When you sleep at night you'll be haunted by reminders of what happened in this very ring, how I beat your body to a bloody pulp and you begged me to stop.

You've seen the fight, but that won't give you any advantage. The afghanistans don't have the experience that I do. I've seen the civil wars, I've seen the Army get beaten time and time and time again. I know your game, and I know what it takes to destroy you. I've seen the Army quit too many times. I want to hear you say "Semper Fi."







"Why do you watch that? It's fake! IT'S FAKE!!" - My mother
"I know." - Me

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borntorun
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posted on 9-13-2004 at 10:39 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
*Markout waves BTR's pants like a matador waves a red flag. BTR runs up the stage, charging blindly. Markout steps aside, forcing BTR to run into the pants. Borntorun collapses.

Markout smiles to the audience and points to his head. He reaches inside the Dockers and pulls out a shotput. Smirking at BTR, Markout and the loaded pants exit the stage.*



[Edited on 9-13-2004 by borntorun]

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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 9-13-2004 at 11:32 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
***OO BACKLASH EVENT UPDATE***

The following matches will take place at the event:

Markout vs borntorun

Endo vs ArmyOfOne

2Hot vs Omega in a Downtown Canada Streetfight

Stay tuned for more match updates...including information on the main event!!!






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salmonjunkie
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 11:45 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
*sneaks into comissioner BFG's office and SMACKS him OVER THE HEAD with a steel chair!*

That's what I thought, bitch!






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OO Kyle
The Rowdy One






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posted on 9-13-2004 at 11:47 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
*In the middle of BFG's announcement, Kyle runs out, hits BFG with a chair while he's not looking, and then runs off through the audience waving an American flag and a large picture of Trish Stratus with a moustache drawn on it in black magic marker.*

EDIT: Good lord! Salmon and I practically did a ConChairTo!

[Edited on 9-13-2004 by OO Kyle]





Stand back! There's a HURRICANE coming through! Several, in fact!

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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 9-13-2004 at 11:55 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Ouch....good thing you two deliver a chair shot with as much conviction as Gimmickman's mom turning down a ride on space mountain!!!

WOOOOOOO!!!!






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ConcreteTG
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posted on 9-14-2004 at 12:04 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
(once the near Conchairto concludes)

Hey, no one picked up my challenge!! do I gotta go BACK out there and bore some more of this crowd?

Dude, I thought someone would throw down.....






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Operation Pajama Pants
Showstopper






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posted on 9-14-2004 at 12:06 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
*Born To Run plays, but no one comes out. after a few seconds of confusion and mystery, eventually it is not BTR, but OPERATION PAJAMA PANTS who enters and walks to the ring*

"sorry folks, but you wont be getting any born to run tonight. he's still running around looking for markout and his pants. (laughs) i tell ya markout, that was spectacular! a superb use of pants. and take it from me... i know pants!" (laughs again)

"but alright... funtime's over! now for the reason i'm out here. FUSION FIST CUTTER!!!!"

"you Fusion Fist Fucked my cat!! that is completely unacceptable! it woulda been one thing if it was my mom, but NO! you decide to go after my cat you sick bastard! i hope she scartched the hell out of you while it happened. cuz i have an outdoor cat, ya know... so she still has her front claws... as opposed to the indoor where they de-claw the front paws... but mines an outdoor cat... so she runs around and chases birds and stuff like that... i tell ya, ya know what she does sometimes? she'll kill, say, a bird or a squirell, then leave it on our doorstep like it's a gift... such a cute cat... wait.. what was i saying...?"

"OH YEAH!!! FFC!!"

*the crowd wakes up*

"well i'm glad i brought that up. cuz quite frankly , she doesn't do any of that anymore! she hasn't done anything since being analy raped by FFC's fist!"

"in fact, i'm not gonna wait for a match! i'm coming back to that locker room right now to KICK YOUR ASS!!!!"

*OPP throws down the mic and charges up the ramp to backstage. a camera follows him through the curtain runs around looking for FFC. he grabs an event security guy--*

"HAVE YOU SEEN FFC??"

"no man. sorry"

*he grabs a woman drinking coffee*

"where the hell is FFC??"

"who?"

*he see's a group of lower mid card posters*

"hey! crossface99, thatwassting, blackdragon. have you seen where the hell FFC is?"

"no"
"no man"
"sorry"

*we go to commercial as OPP runs around aimlessly looking for FFC.*





Official Poster Of The OOForum's 100,000th Post.

borntorun: getting punched in the cock by a naked guy is pretty arousing.

Visit OOWF.com!

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ModSquad004
Cop Dawg






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posted on 9-14-2004 at 12:07 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
BTR: I wouldn't steal your pants.

I'll just be the special guest ring announcer or something.


[Edited on 9-13-2004 by ModSquad004]





WOOF!

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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 9-14-2004 at 12:16 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Damn it...and here I thought ModDawg would escort all the wrestlers to the ring on his ATV!!!






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salmonjunkie
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be






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posted on 9-14-2004 at 12:21 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:

Originally posted by bigfatgoalie
Ouch....good thing you two deliver a chair shot with as much conviction as Gimmickman's mom turning down a ride on space mountain!!!

WOOOOOOO!!!!




I'm sorry Gimmickman's mom turned you down. Looks like Space Mountain was having a little difficulty functioning that day, eh?

*CHAIRSHOT to BFG's HEAD!*

Hmm.. looks like he has a pretty hard head...

*SHOVELSHOT to BFG's FACE!*

"That was for America!"

Kyle and me working together for a common enemy? It's like when Benoit and Angle were a tag team!






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2HoT
The Immortal One






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posted on 9-14-2004 at 12:22 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Goalie, so help me if your ass makes my match the curtian jerker, your ass is going in the ass machine you ass!!!


A match of this caliber ia AT LEAST semi-main event. If your ass can't see that, then your ass is NEXT!!

Ass...





Who wants soup?

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Slade
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posted on 9-14-2004 at 12:30 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Goldberg! Goldberg! Goldberg! Goldberg!





"Love is making out with someone after you've blown a load on his/her face." - Dan Savage

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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 9-14-2004 at 12:30 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
2Hot...I said I wanted you to try and NOT Billy Gunn your push...how the hell did you take that to mean cut promo's like you were the lovechild of Orton and Goldberg?

And Sal, you should know better...the booker ALWAYS wins!!!






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