by Roger Hayden
Earth-Three Wrestling Home Page/OnlineOnslaught.com

[NOTE: Not content with today's American wrestling scene, this space will provide a look into a  parallel world, where things might be a little better than they are here.Although this is fantasy (and fantasy based on a worked sport at that), we will attempt to mirror things that happen in the "real world," like injuries, hirings and firings and such. Also, to make things more interesting, the wrestling portions of each show will be simulated by the way cool TNM7 Wrestling Simulator. The matches generated by TNM will be worked, to confirm to the booking ideas of your humble man with the pencil.]

May 13 – RAW
UND Campus, North Dakota

The show begins with Ric Flair and AA pacing in Flair’s office. The Hardys Boys still haven’t shown up for tonight’s show, missing the mandatory 4 PM sign-in period. Flair says he has to keep his word and if they are not here by the time match is scheduled, they will be stripped of the tag team titles. From off camera, we hear someone say “Tick, tick, tick” and the camera pans over to see Edge and Christian sitting on the couch, both staring at their watches.

Match 1: Tsunami vs. Rey Misterio – Lawler says he doesn’t know who this new guy is, but he likes his attitude. Tsunami wins with the Viagra Driver, sending all the smarks watching at home into a titter. After the match, he gets on the match and runs down Hurricane.

Backstage, the Coach interviews Eddy and Chavo. They don’t trust the Canadians and will be watching them very carefully. Eddy looks at Chavo and says, “In a worst-case scenario, Cheat to Win.”

Match 2: Hurricane/Tajiri vs. Kidman/Crash – The faces go over. After the match, Hurricane questions Tajiri about Tsunami. Tajiri says (in Japanese but with subtitles) that he seems familiar, but he can’t be sure since he’s wearing a mask.

IN Flair’s office, E&C are still waiting. Meanwhile, Paul Heyman comes in and tells Flair that since Kurt Angle beat Austin clean last week, Angle deserves the title match against HHH next week at the PPV. Flair says the match is made and it’s final. Heyman says it’s not over yet and Flair will have blood on his hands because of his decision.

Match 3: Jr. Heavyweight title – Chavo vs. Storm – Eddy and Jericho are both at ringside. This is a long match (goes through one commercial break). Finally, there’s a ref bump. Jericho grabs the title belt and throws it into the ring for Lance to use. Chavo blocks it and hits Lance with the Tornado DDT. Eddy and Y2J are chasing each other around ringside. There’s no ref to make the cover. Eventually, Edge and Christian hit the ring and KO Eddy. Jericho jumps in the ring and hits Chavo with the forward Russian Leg Sweep. He grabs the title belt lying in the ring, Edge wakes up the ref and Lance, seeing Chavo out, puts him in the Camel Clutch. JR is screaming “That was Gory’s move!” and the ref sees Chavo out and rings the bell. The Canadians all get in the ring to celebrate. We get a close-up of Jericho. He’s holding up one finger and mouths to the camera, “That’s one.”

Match 4: TV Title – Regal vs. Bob Holly – This is a super stiff match. Regal gets busted open hardway from Holly’s chops. Regal wins with the STF. He announces that even though it’s a PPV, there will be millions of people watching at home on the telly and he wants to defend his title. Val Venis comes out and says he’s no stranger to PPV and he’ll be happy to take the title back to the Dangerous Alliance.

Backstage, we see Hurricane and Tajiri talking to some Japanese photographers. They grill them about Tsunami. None of them know anything, but we see one shutterbug does swivel his hips a few times. Lawler wonders what this has to do with Val Venis.

After the commercial, the Canadians are celebrating in their locker room; Lance has a Molson in his hand. Jericho says their night’s not done yet, since Edge and Christian will get the tag belts tonight. Flair bursts in and says there’s nothing he can do about this, but he can put Jericho in a match tonight with Steve Austin. Edge asks Flair where the Hardys are, because time’s a-tickin’. Flair says they’ll get theirs tonight too.

Top of the hour, Match 5: Tag Team Title Match – Hardys vs. Edge/Christian – The Canadians are in the ring. The Hardys’ music plays. No Hardys. They tell the ref to count. He gets to 10, the bell rings. E&C start jumping around. Flair comes out and says that he may have to strip the Hardys of the titles but he’ll be damned if he’s giving them to these two punks. He will have to have a meeting with Vince about this and they’ll make an announcement at Smackdown. Christian starts doing his old pouting gimmick. Edge just curses.

Match 6: Lesnar/Venis vs. Orton/David Flair – The young guns put up a good fight, but once Lesnar gets in, he kills both Orton and Flair, pinning David with the Spider Bomb. Heyman screams for him to continue pounding on David. David is busted open at this point. Ric finally comes out and tells Heyman to call off the monster. Heyman says not until Flair puts Angle in the title match. Flair won’t do it. But then Lesnar picks David up for a piledriver and Ric finally agrees. Hit Angle’s music.

After the commercial, we’re in Austin’s locker room, where Flair is explaining this to Austin. Stone Cold doesn’t really care. He’ll beat HHH and Angle and whoever else Flair wants to put in the match.

We cut to Flair’s office and we see the Hardys finally arrive. They apologize to Arn and hope they can be forgiven. We see Storm, wearing his new belt, walk in and start mocking the Hardys. He says that just because they had a flat tire, that’s no excuse for being late. Arn asks how Storm knew what was wrong with their car. Storm starts stammering, but the Hardys just light into him. He manages to get away and Arn says he’s got to tell Ric about this.

We cut to Angle and Heyman in the locker room. Angle can’t thank Paul enough for getting him into the title match at Judgment Day. Heyman says Angle is an American hero and deserves to be treated better than the way Flair abuses him.

Match 7: Austin vs. Jericho – Austin gets a clean win after a hard-fought match. After the match, Jericho walks back to the dressing room and is jumped by Chavo and Eddy. Austin starts laughing and drinking his beer in the ring. They throw him back into the ring and Y2J gets stunned for his troubles. The Canadians try to save him, but the Hardys and Misterio stop them at the top of the ramp. Austin pours beer on Jericho as we go to black.

May 16 – Smackdown
Winnipeg Arena, Winnipeg, Manitoba

We begin the show with clips from RAW, showing the mess with the titles. Tonight, HHH comments on the new title match and Vince announces what will happen to the tag titles.

Match 1: European title – D-Lo Brown vs. Steven Richards. D-Lo wins clean with the Sky High.

Backstage, we see what’s left of the N.W.O. X-Pac is bemoaning the loss of Scott Hall to “an injury.” Nash tells him not to worry about it, as he always has a plan. In the meantime, Nash says, it may be time for you to get some gold.

Match 2: Rikishi vs. Goldust – Squash match for the big man. After the match, Booker and Mark Henry challenge Rikishi and the Big Show to a match at the PPV.

Backstage, Vince is in his office when Billy, Chuck and Rico come in and say they deserve the titles because they were the last champions. He promises to take it under advisement. While they’re all standing there, the APA come in and want the shot too. Vince says he’ll take care of everything.

Match 3: Trish vs. Jazz – Trish, being the only Canadian on the Smackdown roster, gets a big pop. She also goes over, giving her momentum going into the PPV.

We hear Cole say there’s a problem backstage and we cut to the faces’ dressing room, where Rikishi is there, a bloody mess on the floor. Big Show is attending to him. He lets out a big Chewbacca yell.

After the commercial, we see Booker and Henry in their locker room gloating. The Big Show walks in and they get their guard up. He accepts their challenge. They ask if he’s going to take them on by himself. No, he’s going to get a friend of his to help, a friend named Hulk Hogan. Big Pop from the crowd.

Match 4: Al Snow/Maven vs. Justin Credible/Tommy Dreamer  -- This is a hardcore tag match, with Snow’s title on the line and he loses it if he gets pinned. After a lot of plunder, Snow pins Dreamer with the Snow Plow. After the match, Maven turns on Snow, waffles him with a chair and pins him, winning the Hardcore title.

Top of the hour, here comes HHH. He ranks on Austin and Angle, saying he has beaten them both before and he’ll do it again this Sunday on PPV.

After the commercial, Terri is interviewing Maven. He says that he’s learned all he can from Snow and now it’s time to go it alone. Snow comes up and gives the classic line “I may have taught you everything you know, but I didn’t teach you everything I know.” They will get it on at the PPV.

We cut to Vince walking, on his way to the ring. Commercial break.

When we come back, Vince is in the ring. He announces that due to the events surrounding the Hardy Boys’ actions, not to mention those of Edge and Christian, they will fight for the vacant titles at Judgment Day. But they will not be only teams competing. No, both Billy and Chuck and the APA will also be competing, in a four-way match for the vacant tag team titles. As for the title match at the PPV, he asks where Flair gets off naming an additional participant to the match. Just for that, he will add someone to the PPV too. And that’s the Undertaker.

Match 5: Big Show vs. Booker – Short match that’s interrupted by a Mark Henry run-in. That’s followed by Hogan hitting the ring, running off the heels and he and Big Show posing.

Backstage, HHH is furious. He storms into Vince’s office. Vince says if he doesn’t like it, he can be stripped of his title, just as easily as the Hardys were on Monday night. And just for complaining, he’ll be in a handicap match tonight against Billy and Chuck.

Match 6: Rob Van Dam vs. Spike Dudley – This is fairly quick match with RVD going over. After the match, X-Pac hits the ring and attacks Van Dam. He does a lot of his showy martial arts stuff. Tazz says that X-Pac’s feet are more educated than Van Dam’s. He takes the I-C belt, holds it up, drops it on the ground and then gives RVD the facebuster on the belt.

After the commercials, we see the Dudleys backstage. Spike has an icepack on his head. D-Von and Bubba are arguing. Bubba wants to be part of the tag title situation, but D-Von says they’re in no shape to hold the belts, when they can’t even win. Bubba says it’s just a bad streak. D-Von wonders if they just need to take a break. They start to bicker and then come to blows. Spike tries to break it up and they clobber him. Finally, the refs break it up.

Match 7: HHH vs. Billy and Chuck – HHH no-sells for most of the match, even while being against the numbers. Finally, he makes the superman comeback and pins Billy with the Pedigree. HHH poses, with Cole say he can beat two men, but can he beat three? 

Backlash PPV – Coming this Sunday 
GM Place, Vancouver, British Columbia

Title Match: HHH vs. Austin vs. Angle vs. UT

Tag Match: Hardys vs. Edge/Christian vs. APA. Vs. Billy/Chuck

IC Title Match: Rob Van Dam vs. X-Pac

Eddy/Chavo vs. Jericho/Storm

Hogan/Big Show vs. Booker/Henry

Women’s Match: Molly vs. Trish

Hurricane vs. Tsunami

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Maven

Heat Matches: Rey Misterio vs. Kidman, European Title: D-Lo vs. Justin Credible, TV Title: Regal vs. Val Venis, Lesnar vs. Bob Holly

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