by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Do you REALLY want to know how it all went down?  C'mon, wouldn't it be more fun to sit down Thursday night, watch the show, and not know how it was all gonna turn out?  Assuming you don't have to play a rock show and don't have YOUR Dayton Flyers playing a conference tourney game that same night, forcing you to have to tape SmackDown! for viewing at a later time, anyway?

So, what are you gonna do?  You can heed this last warning and hit the BACK button now.  Or you can read on for full results of SD!, as well as Velocity.

As compiled from e-mail reports:

• Dark matches included squash wins for Kanyon and Nathan Jones...
• Velocity Matches:  Bill DeMott and Shannon Moore both pinned jobbers...  Johnny Stamboli beat Funaki...  Tajiri beat Jamie Noble in a good match.
• SmackDown! opened with an excellent tag match, as Team Angle beat Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman to retain the tag titles.  Kidman was injured (arm/shoulder) following a botched Shooting Star Press, but continued to wrestle.  Kidman eventually took the pinfall after a German suplex, and did a bit of post-match angle with Rey (teasing a heel turn), so more than likely, the injury wasn't too severe.  Unless Kidman dissing Rey so he could head to the back wasn't an angle, and was just Kidman really wanting to get backstage so someone could look at his arm....  I don't know...
• Backstage: Brian Kendrick has come all the way from Washington to give flowers to Stephanie McMahon.  His hope is that she can get him tickets to WM19, I guess.  Steph tells him to keep going out there and trying, and anything could happen.
• Rikishi beat Chuck Palumbo with the Banzai Drop.  About as good (ahem) as you'd expect, I gather, and mostly just an excuse for the FBI to run out after the match to attack Rikishi.  But Los Guerreros made the save.
• Backstage: we find out that Undertaker/Nathan Jones vs. A-Train/Big Show has been signed for WM19.  So Taker finds Jones, sits him down in front of a TV and tells him to watch the upcoming Albert/Show match.
• A-Train and Big Show absolutely squashed Funaki and Tajiri.  Disappointing, but probably necessary if ANYONE is gonna believe that the threat to Taker's WM winning streak comes from someone other than his own partner.
• Backstage/In-the-Arena:  another no-content segment between commercials.  They manage to sneak in a backstage thing with Torrie Wilson revealing her Playboy cover.  And also do an in-arena thing with Dawn Marie flashing Tazz and Cole to promote the Girls Gone Wild PPV.
• Pre-taped segment:  John Cena drops some more science on Brock Lesnar's bitch ass.
• In a #1 Contender's Match for the WWE Tag Titles, Rhyno/Chris Benoit and Los Guerreros went to a draw.  Outstanding 15-minute-plus contest, the likely match of the week.  The match built up slowly to a huge finish, as all four men wound up brawling.  Eddie hit a Frog Splash on Benoit, as Rhyno gored Chavo... and then Team Angle hit the ring and just started attacking both teams to cause the no decision.  I don't want to get ahead of myself, but it looks like a three-way dance for WM19.
• Backstage: Steph tells Team Angle that since they didn't allow a single challenger to be crowned in the #1 contenders match, they now have to face both Rhyno/Benoit and Los Guerreros at WM19.  See, I was right!  [Other content in this no-wrestling segment: McMahon/Hogan hype and Trish-on-MAD-TV hype.]
• Matt Hardy hit the ring and announced that while he is won't face Rey Mysterio till WM19, he'll challenge any other cruiserweight in the back to a match tonight.  Out comes Spanky Kendrick, dressed in the Pittsburgh Penguins mascot costume.  Huge babyface response for the cheap tactic, and Kendrick actually won by count-out when Hardy got frustrated with Kendrick's antics and walked out.
• Kurt Angle beat Brock Lesnar to retain the WWE Title.  Allow me to repeat:  Kurt Angle beat Brock Lesnar to retain the WWE Title, and will have to defend against Lesnar again at WM19.  The match played like this:  Angle entered first, and during Lesnar's entrance, Angle put his hood back up, and rolled out of the ring.  He was replaced by his brother, Eric (hood up), who had been hiding under the ring.  When Lesnar attacked to start the match, he quickly decimated and F-5'ed Angle, but realized it was the WRONG Angle when he went for the pinfall.  Team Angle hit the scene to provide further distraction, as Kurt rolled back in to replace Eric.  When Lesnar re-entered the ring, Angle surprised him from behind and managed to get a cheap pinfall win.  [SD! will end here, though the live crowd also got some extra antics, as Team Angle tried to four-on-one Lesnar until Rhyno/Benoit made a save.  Then Big Show/A-Train came out to uneven the odds for a while till Taker came out and finally helped the babyfaces clear the ring.]

Sounds like a really fun swerve... exactly what the doctor (or at least, the Rick) ordered back on Friday.  Check out the show tomorrow night, or come on back for recap and analysis here on OO on Friday.

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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