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WWE TV Spoilers
July 30, 2003

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


The SD! brand delivered the goods on PPV last weekend... now, heading into the stretch run to SummerSlam, one would hope they can keep on rolling.  This week, they just have to get past a promised Torrie Wilson/Jamie Noble skit, and from there, it should be pretty smooth sailing...

To find out whether or not SD! succeeds, one COULD just wait till tomorrow night and watch the show on UPN.  But if you're here, it means that ain't good enough for you.  You need to know NOW.

And I will oblige you.

Read on for the results of WWE's remaining TV shows for this week...

WWE Sunday Night Heat
(Taped Monday, Airs Sunday)

  • Rodney Mack beat Tommy Dreamer
  • Maven beat Some Guy
  • Goldust beat Stevie Richards (a re-do of the match lost due to SD!'s take-over of Heat last week)
  • Spike Dudley interrupted a Prepared Statement from Lance Storm, and then won a match between the two.

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

  • The FBI (Palumbo/Stamboli) beat Two Guys
  • Matt Hardy beat Spanky Kendrick in a very good match
  • The Basham Brothers and Sean O'Haire beat the APA and Funaki when O'Haire pinned Funaki
  • Ultimo Dragon beat Nunzio in a good match

WWE SmackDown!
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

  • Opening video footage recaps Eddie Guerrero turning on Tajiri a few weeks back, and promises Eddie vs. Tajiri for the US Title tonight.
  • In the arena, the show opens with Kurt Angle cutting an in-ring promo.  Pure babyface reaction for Angle, who boasts about winning the WWE Title back just four months after a serious neck injury.  This eventually led up to Brock Lesnar coming out to the ring to ask for a rematch, which the crowd was pretty stoked for.  Angle agreed, and it looked like they were gonna do it In That Very Ring.  But then Vince McMahon interrupted.  Something about how he's in charge since Stephanie is out selling the PPV attack from A-Train, and how he won't sanction a rematch tonight.  Because he wants to put Brock and Angle together in a tag match, against the team of his (Vince's) choice.  Then, just to be a dick, Vince insinuates that the real reason Brock's not getting a rematch is because Angle didn't want to give him one tonight, and that Angle's a backstabber, not a true friend.   Angle tries to deny it, but the segment ends with Vince smiling at the pot of shit he just stirred up, as Angle and Brock stare each other down.
  • In the opening match, Rey Mysterio Jr. scored a singles win over Shelton Benjamin.  Both Billy Kidman and Charlie Haas were also at ringside, and there were moments of interference from both.  Strong opener that ended when Kidman and Haas powdered out, and Rey hit the West Coast Pop (or possibly another 'rana variation, depending on the report) for the pinfall win.  Looks like they intend to keep this tag feud percolating, at the expense of on-going defenses of the Cruiserweight Title...
  • At Some Hotel:  The Noble/Torrie skits start up.  This one features Torrie arriving at the room, only to dash for the bathroom when she is scandalized and sickened by the array of tools and toys Noble has assembled for the night's action.
  • Chris Benoit comes out, and apparently, it's for a promo.  He wants revenge on Rhyno for Rhyno costing him the US Title at Vengeance.  But Rhyno opts not to come to the ring, and instead appears on the SD!-Tron.  He says Benoit's not worth his time, not unless he proves himself.  So Rhyno sends Doink the Clown out to the ring.  If Benoit can beat Doink, then Benoit can have a match tonight against Rhyno.  So we go to....
  • Benoit easily defeats Doink via tap-out to the Crossface.  Probably all of a 2 minute match.  When it's done, Rhyno re-appears on the big screen, but announces, "Eh, you're still not worth the trouble, Benoit."  And then Rhyno leaves the building, incensing Benoit.
  • At the Hotel:  Nidia storms in, interrupting things.  But instead of getting mad at Noble, she's all hot and bothered, and jumps his bones.  Torrie watches on in horror, and we are, apparently, supposed to infer from her reaction shots just what Noble and Nidia are up to.
  • Backstage: Angle and Lesnar are chatting, apparently having decided to be friendly to each other, afterall.  Brock grills Angle about Vince's accusations, but Angle admits nothing, other than noting that their one-on-one match at WrestleMania was brutal, and Vince probably didn't want anything like that to happen to either one of them here tonight at SD!...
  • US Title Match Time.  Eddie Guerrero wound up beating Tajiri in the Match of the Night.  Got off to a hot start, with Tajiri jumping Eddie by surprise (Tajiri was hiding in the trunk of Eddie's low rider).  Eddie tries to get counted out, finally getting some heel heat on himself, but the ref forces him to wrestle the match or else forfeit the title.  Tajiri then controls a lot of the match with wicked stiff kicks, and the crowd is way into it.  Finish was Patented Cheat 2 Win:  Tajiri tried to spew the Green Mist at Eddie, but Eddie dodged it, and the ref was blinded.  This allowed Eddie to use the US Title belt to KO Tajiri.  Then Eddie helped the ref wipe the mist out of his eyes, then Eddie hit the Frog Splash, and scored the pinfall.  Great 12-or-so minute match, but so much for using this storyline to build Tajiri up as a legit upper-mid-carder, eh?  Looks like it was one-and-done for him....
  • Video Package: the same Zach Gowen thing they used at the PPV was replayed for the live audience.  No idea on if that also means it shows up as part of SD! or not.  For reasons stated on Monday, I find myself hoping "not."
  • Shannon Moore beat Zach Gowen via pinfall.  Moore had some help from Matt Hardy, and the impression fans got was that this will probably build to a Zach/Matt feud.  About five or so minutes of the heels cheating to keep an edge, and then Shannon won with a roll-up.  Then after the match, Matt just beat the shit out of Zach for some monster heat.
  • John Cena beat Orlando Jordan in pretty easy fashion.  Before the match, Cena rapped about taking Taker to the limit at Vengeance, revealed that he's gonna get a rematch next week on SD!, and then made some awfully naughty insinuations about the relationship between Taker and Jordan.  At that, the match got started, and then ended a few minutes later with Cena the pinfall win following the F-U.
  • Back at the Hotel:  Uh oh, Billy Gunn has arrived.  And apparently, Noble's had time to recover, because before you know it, it's Billy's look of horror that is telling us the story of what's going on.
  • Backstage: Brock Lesnar storms into Vince's office, and says, "Remember how you said you would fight me back a few weeks ago, well, I challenge you for next week here on SD!."  Vince takes it under consideration....
  • At the Hotel, One Last Time: I guess Billy and Torrie weren't as horrified as they had let on.  This skit consists of a slow pan revealing that Billy, Torrie, Noble, and Nidia are all in bed together.  Ha!  Just call Jamie Noble "The Life of the Orgy," I guess....
  • Sable hits the ring for a promo, and talks about how she beat Stephanie at Vengeance... and also has videotape evidence to back up her claims.  She's also out here to announce Mr. McMahon's hand-selected tag team who will face Lesnar/Angle here tonight.  First is the man who helped her beat Steph: A-Train.  And second is the Big Show.
  • Angle and Lesnar defeat Train and Show in the main event.  Good heat for this one, as Angle spends most of the match making the heels look like a million bucks by getting his ass kicked.  Hot tag finally comes to Lesnar, who dominates, and seems ready to win the match after taking out Big Show with a mammoth F-5.  However, Angle has come around just enough that he's able to reach out to tag himself into the match.  Angle scurries into the ring, and steals the pinfall for his team.  Lesnar is not happy, and an argument ensues.  Then Lesnar ends the argument by F-5'ing Angle.  At this point, Vince comes out on the stage and announces, "OK, Lesnar, I've decided I WILL wrestle you next week."  But he's got a few stipulations: first, it's a steel cage match.  And second, the special ref will be Kurt Angle.  [In a finish that may or may not have been taped for broadcast, Angle eventually recovered, and Lesnar, realizing he needs Angle for an ally next week, tried to apologize to Angle.  But Kurt just gave him an Angle Slam to a nice pop.]

Check out the shows as they air over the next few days, or come on back to OO for complete recaps of them all.... 


Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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