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ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
Ancient Wisdom?
January 9, 2004

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Editor's Note:  As readers of my Year-End Ballot know, I'm something of an aficionado of "weird shit," though not necessarily a believer in any of it.  But for every one thing in one hundred that seems plausible or interesting, it's worth it to wade through the rest...  knowing this odd personality quirk of mine, an anonymous benefactor contacted me earlier this week.  A researcher at a prestigious University, he had recently uncovered some strange texts, all arranged as quatrains that claim to foretell the future, a future he thought I was uniquely equipped to decipher (as becomes clear immediately in quatrain III.I.IV.1).  He actually unearthed an entire series of texts, all dating from the 16th Century, and attributed to a mysterious figure known only by the name of "Scaiadamus."  Although the entirety of the researcher's find numbered in the hundreds of pages, he only forwarded the set of passages that were labeled as pertaining to the year 2004.  It was his hope that I'd be able to attribute meaning to them, perhaps crack the code to allow humanity to know its future before it happens... alas, I believe the translation from the original Latin may have resulted in vagueness and inconsistency of language that makes it impossible to interpret the prophecies with 100% confidence.  So instead, I will present these apparent predictions for the year Two Thousand and Four of Our Lord, and allow you, the Home Viewer, to draw your own conclusions for the raw source material... and, in 12 months, to assess the accuracy of Scaiadamus' quatrains.

The Prophecies of Scaiadamus
Millennium III, Century I, Year IV

1.
Alone in his study, the seer begins his work
Consuming the sacred spirits until attuned.
Then begin the future visions, from centuries hence,
These events take place in the circle made square.

2.
The battleground is silent as the New Year is welcomed,
The Worldwide Leader is the leader of a field of one.
Complacency will provide the competition primary.
The insurgent from the South will remain in the far distance.

3.
O, crown of the States United!
Will you be defended in battle, or left to rot?
Only once freed from the grasp of the Giant
Will the title once again shine bright.

4.
The Hero, the Cheater, the Poet,
One will wrest this crown away while the other two stand ready.
The son of the brother of the Cheater,
He should not be forgotten, either.

5.
Hero of the Games, but not for long!
He of three virtues will oppose the Cheater,
Estranging the subjects in the doing.
Yet, attempts on the seat of power shall be his.

6.
T
he younger son made King will put his father to death,
After the conflict very dishonest death:
Inscription found, suspicion will bring remorse,
When the wolf driven out lies down ion the bedstead.

7.
The despised Princess has gone missing!
But she shall not be silent all these 12 months.
The balding but capable Jew will find himself ousted upon her return.
The kingdom would revolt, but they like her bags of fun.

8.
Son of the Son of the Father, he is an Adonis.
Another star has risen from Generation the Third.
Comparisons abound to the one dubbed Great.
However, many questions remain.

9.
O Adonis! You look the part and have much help from above! 
If only you had skills and wit to match.
All things remain possible, but not without improvements.
You may be less the Great One, and more the Package Total.

10.
The first version is now in his third year,
But the hardships of the past will continue.
His leap to the second day from the fifth will prove fruitless.
The Crown of the Continents should be his, but will elude him.

11.
In the New City, at forty-five degrees,
Proximate to the Ides of March,
A great conflagration shall take place, the twentieth of its kind.
The battlefield will be ruled by the Wolverine.

12.
Once ascending to the throne,
The Wolverine will win over the kingdom's subjects.
His battles against the Hero Gone Evil
Will amass more stars than in all the Heavens.

13.
A woman who looks fair in battle or out,
She will never be far from the Queen's crown.
Pursued by the Ayatollah, she will eventually be his.
But it is not a coupling that will last the year.

14.
The undersigned to an infamous deliverance,
And having contrary advice from the multitude:
Monarch changes put in danger over thought,
Shut up in a cage they will see each other face to face.

15.
The Princess has a secret husband, one once known to all
A public schism masked their continuing union.
Accused of wrongdoings by those possessing the secret knowledge,
The pair will hide in shadows, as long as it suits them.

16.
Aged and of orange hue,
The Immortal One will make another return.
In a small pond, he will be a big fish.
His legacy is diminished with each passing minute.

17.
The Cheater, also a Liar and a Thief,
Will find himself at war for the biggest gold.
But cursed forever to toil in obscurity,
He will fall short.

18.
Thought broken and banished to the sidelines,
He will bring Love to all Mankind in his return.
Many will be saddened, however, 
When he is asked to bow down before the unworthy Adonis.

19.
In the sixth month, at 4:20, he will depart.
He has had much success, but is not happy,
Leaves with only three letters and some devil weed.
The Worldwide Leader does not mourn the loss.

20.
The Brink, the Precipice, the Fringe, the Verge!
In his prime and restored to health,
He will finally distinguish himself in single combat.
The crown of the States United will fall to him late in the year.

21.
The duke of a land called Bling Times Two
He has won many honors although despised by all,
And when beloved was left to toil in shadows.
This will change.

22.
On the second day, only five might be king.
The Prince, the Red Machine, the Jester, the Born Again, or the Jew.
If Abel leaps from the fifth day, he might reign, as well.
The throne is closed to all others.

23.
The Man, sixteen times the King!
If there is one who might stop the unworthy Adonis, it is him.
He may obtain the Crown of the Continents, although briefly.
Best days behind him, the Man will contemplate the End.

24.
The unhappy abandoned one will die of grief,
His conqueress will celebrate the hecatomb:
Pristine law, free edict drawn up,
The wall and the Prince falls on the seventh day.

25.
O Poet!  Your rhymes enrage the savage beasts!
There is no limit to the goals you may realize,
But this is not to be your time at the very top.
Settle for the secondary crown and bide quietly.

26.
Abel is back to do battle with his brother,
The coffin, the grave could not contain him.
He is a Phenom, returning from the past, though not the dead.
Hell, fire, and brimstone confront the brothers.

27.
A star on his chest, the stunning one is a now a joke.
After a return to battle, his status is restored.
A match at the Great Conflagration is inevitable,
Perhaps against the one who could be his twin?

28.
The East will rise again!
Relieved of his crown, the sword of the Samurai is not dead.
Backed by force of numbers, he'll regain gold,
After others fail to fill his sandals.

29.
He has been born again, 
Now as adept as in his first life.
He will become King for the fifth time,
And it may well be the reign most productive.

30.
Preferring the out to the inside, they are reunited.
Both are well, free from different demons.
Though the Orient will beckon,
They will join the Orange Immortal down south.

31.
Come suddenly the terror will be great,
Hidden by the principal ones of the affair:
And the lady on the charcoal will no longer be in sight,
Thus little by little will the great ones be angered.

32.
O Unstable Wench!  This shall be your year!
The subjects can ignore your assets no longer.
Crazy yet capable, only one question remains. 
"Will you bring the chancellor of the First Night with you?".

33.
He claims ownership of a population, 
Yet they utter nary a peep.
His partnership with the Jester, the one called Ayatollah, dissolves,
Leaving him little more than a specter.

34.
Falsely accused by the lord of the Land of Memphis,
She of the low gravity center will reign too briefly as queen.
Her skills unparalleled, but unappreciated, elude respect.
Do they not realize the cushion would render the pushing sublime?

35.
At the Great Conflagration in month the third,
The Worldwide Leader will stumble.
Expectations too high, a dearth of guests will disappoint.
The Orange Immortal, the villain of Glasgow, Calgary's spurned? No.

36.
Bloated, lasting from dusk till midnight,
The great spectacle needs more fire power.
The choice of minstrels is suspect at best,
Only Charlie Hustle's defeat of the Monster can save them.

37.
The wretched black bird, stripped of his Flock,
Will win the crown of lesser import.
Despite the folly of the Immortal Orange,
His shall be the quest that captures imaginations.

38.
Now toiling in obscurity, some will finally join the Worldwide Leader.
The exploding star, once of the World Order Blue,
Another, he is the fourth prime, 
And two who, together, were victorious in a contest of another sort.

39.
The mighty Jew, his allegiance to the Kingdom expiring,
May not remain past the third month.
To the dismay of all, the Man Beast will be exiled, as well.
And yet the Strongman and the Load remain.

40.
The women will not be spared the sting of the sword,
Ebony, Ivory, it will not matter.
Still remarkable in her fifth decade, one will fall who shouldn't.
So will the final Runnels and she from the barony of Texas.

41.
Self-proclaimed they may be,
Yet in these 12 months they will be proven true.
Victorious against giants and those clad in leather,
The Swirl will improve upon their past.

42.
The Secret Prince, the Geyser of Aquafina!
He will fancy himself a thesbian.
The subjects care not what he does,
As long as he leaves the Gold for someone more deserving.

43.
He will come to expose the false topography,
The urns of the tombs will be opened.
Sect and holy philosophy to thrive,
Black for white and the new for the old.

44.
Landlocked in the center of the New Continent
The pundit with the greatest wisdom
Will continue the finest work in all the lands.
Those who need a torch to observe their surroundings are fools.

45.
The Royal Family will recede in importance.
The Princess and her secret husband in frequent shadows,
The Son of the Father may not emerge all year,
And gods willing, the King will see no battles.

46.
The man named a mineral, he belongs to The People.
His battles will number in digits single.
However, increased frequency may be possible in years future,
After he fails to Walk Tall.

47.
Even if the Great One does not Walk Tall,
His aspirations in the West may still be fulfilled.
A lesser role in the second of its kind
Will be the one that opens the kingdom's eyes.

48.
The gods in the boxes monitored by Nielsen
Will tell the same tale as the year before,
The illusion of growth, the reality of stagnation.
The coffers do not empty, but do not overflow.

49.
At year's end, two will stand above all others.
The second will be the Ayatollah's day, and the fifth the Wolverine's.
The Born Again and the Hero will follow closely,
With the Red Machine and the Cheater surprising many.

50.
The seer has consumed the spirits, and produced the quatrains fifty.
Now, the visions grow cloudy.
All he can see in the future is food, water, and sleep,
At least until next year.

CLICK HERE TO DISCUSS, DECIPHER, AND DEBATE
THE PROPHETIC QUATRAINS OF SCAIADAMUS
IN THE OO FORUMS!

E-MAIL RICK 
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.


  
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