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ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
WWE TV Spoilers
March 3, 2004

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

With sweet WrestleMania on their minds, WWE finished a swing through Georgia for TV tapings this week....  starting on Monday, they consolidate in the northeast in preparation for WM20 in NYC.

So, for the finishing touches BEFORE the finishing touches on the Road to WM, let's hit the spoilers, as compiled from e-mail reports...

WWE Sunday Night Heat
(Taped Monday, Airs Sunday)

  • The Disciples of Synn (wrestling under their real names of Travis Tomko and Kevin Fertig) looked good in a dark match win.
  • Rene Dupree beat Spike Dudley
  • Steven Richards beat Some Guy
  • The Dudley Boyz beat Val Venis and Lance Storm to earn a shot in the WM20 Four Way Tag Team Title Elimination Match in a good/long match

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

  • Dark match was Shannon Moore beating Some Other Guy
  • Orlando Jordan beat Nunzio
  • Jamie Noble beat Paul London in a long, competitive match that didn't quite get as much crowd heat as it probably deserved
  • The FBI Beat Two More Guys
  • Billy Gunn beat Rhyno in a disposible main event

WWE SmackDown!
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

  • Show opens with an announcement from the office of Paul Heyman (delivered by Dawn Marie): Kurt Angle is not here tonight because he wants to avoid any more unpleasantness with Eddie Guerrero.  So he decided to be the Big Man, and bowed out.  He'll appear via satellite from Pittsburgh later tonight.
  • In the arena, the show opens with Steve Austin's music hitting.... but Brock Lesnar drives out on the Justice Buggy to huge heat.   Lesnar cut a quick promo on both Austin and Bill Goldberg, but he was mostly out here because his match is first....
  • Lesnar beat Bob Holly.  Quick, decisive win for Brock, and it basically was only an excuse for Lesnar to do more mocking of Austin afterwards (beer bash, more ATV tricks, etc.).
  • Danny Basham beat Scott 2 Hotty, thanks to interference from Doug Basham.
  • Live Via Satellite: Kurt Angle talks about Eddie Guerrero being a disappointing human being, and that because he knows Eddie will never change, that's why Kurt decided the safest thing for both of them would be for him to stay home in Pittsburgh tonight.  Also, because Eddie can never change the disgraceful man he was, he makes a horrible WWE Champ, and Angle promises to take care of that at WM20.  Nothing really remarkable here, except that Angle so effectively oozed Asshole that the crowd really got on him and started chanting for Eddie....
  • Chavo Guerrero beat Funaki, cleanly, in a decent 5 minute match.
  • Paul Heyman came to the ring and called Eddie Guerrero out to join him.  Heyman says that Kurt Angle's words have got him thinking, and Eddie should apologize not only for his past as a drug addict, but also for his abuse of Dawn Marie last week.  So Eddie gets kind of contrite (crowd boos), and does a cheesy apology, which Paul, cluelessly, accepts.  That's when Eddie speaks up and says, "Yo, homes, you forget that I lie, cheat, and steal."  Apparently, the apology was part of that first class of things.  Paul gets upset, and somehow in the heated exchange, Eddie says that he could beat the hell out of Paul with "both hands behind my back."  So Heyman gets an idea: tonight's main event will be Paul Heyman vs. Eddie Guerrero.  But Eddie's going to be handcuffed.  D'oh.
  • Rey Mysterio, Ultimo Dragon, and Billy Kidman beat Tajiri, Akio, and Sakoda in a good match that had enough action and chaotic trainwreck spots that they'll almost certainly play it as a preview of the Cruiserweight Open.  Rey pinned Akio after about 5 minutes of good stuff.
  • Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin came out to the ring, dressed as the APA.  Hilarity allegedly ensued as Haas (as Bradshaw) and Benjamin (as Faarooq) played up a bunch of hard-drinking, sibling-fucking redneck stereotypes.  This went on for a minute or two, and then the real APA came out to try to get revenge.  Unfortunately, immediately after that, the Basham Brothers decided to come on out to make it a 4-on-2 against the APA.  To finalize the mirror image of RAW's own four-way tag title feud, the WWE Champs Rikishi and Scotty finally ran on out to clear the ring of the bad guys.  Pretty fun segment, apparently.
  • Backstage: Big Show talks to A-Train and tells him to soften up John Cena heading into WM and reminds Train about Cena's bad knee...
  • John Cena beat A-Train in a predictable but entertaining 10 minute match.  Obvious psychology was Train dominating the middle half of the match by going after Cena's knee.  But Cena eventually made the superman comeback, hit the F-U, and scored the clean pinfall win.  After the match, Big Show came out on the stage and cut surprisingly good, intense, promo on Cena (telling him that he might dream of being US Champ, but he's really walking into a nightmare at WM20).
  • Backstage: Paul and Dawn are talking.  Dawn is expressing concern.  Paul is exuding confidence, talks about beating some respect into Eddie, and orders ref Brian Hebner to make sure the cuffs are on Eddie good and tight.
  • Paul Heyman and Eddie Guerrero went to a no decision.  After a few minutes of token handcuffed-babyface-does-surprisingly-well-for-himself, Heyman lured Eddie back to his low-rider, and from out of nowhere, Kurt Angle attacked.  Not in Pittsburgh, eh?  Looks like two can play at that lying thing...  Eddie briefly holds his own against Angle, but before long, Kurt begins to dominate the handcuffed Champion.  For several minutes, Kurt pounding on Eddie and also put the bad-mouth on him.  Closing shot will probably be Kurt, with the WWE Title belt, posing over a prone Eddie Guerrero.

Reviews seemed to be in the Thumbs Up category, despite no real blow away wrestling.  London/Noble and the six-man tag were the best matches of the night, but SD! still had some entertaining moments (Lesnar was really good and evil in his opening bit, the WGTT were solid, and all the Heyman/Eddie/Kurt stuff was very well done), so people apparently had fun with the show and expect you'll be able to do the same tomorrow night on UPN.

So check it out.  Or come on back to OO on Friday for recapping and fall-out.

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.


  
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