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ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
WWE TV Spoilers
May 12, 2004

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Last chance to fix 2 months worth or wrongs...  did SmackDown! do the trick?

Reading through this mess, I'll tell you upfront: no.

But go ahead, give it a look for yourself, and if you can find the compelling PPV that's supposed to be taking place in 4 days, PLEASE let me know so I can see it!

[Note: Monday's pre-RAW International Heat tapings omitted because, well, they were only for International Heat.  We'll get a live SD!-themed version before the PPV on Sunday night.]

Last chance for you to turn back, too, on the off chance you don't want to ruin the great surprises of this weekend's TV.  Otherwise, read on for tapings results, as compiled from e-mail reports...

WWE Velocity/SD! Tapings
Reno, NV / May 11, 2004

  • Dark Match: Orlando Jordan beat Some Guy.
  • Velocity: Mark Jindrak beat Spike Dudley (pre-match promo by Teddy Long)
  • Velocity: John Cena promo about Rene Dupree.
  • Velocity: Scotty 2 Hotty beat Akio.
  • Velocity: Kidman and Paul London beat the Basham Brothers in what was described as one reporter as the Match of the Night.  Which bodes REAL well for SD...
  • Video Package to start covers the faux Heart Attack and all last week's nonsense.  Then opening music/pyro/etc., and SD! is ON...
  • Opening match was D-Von Dudley getting a cheap win over Rob Van Dam, thanks to interference from Bubba Dudley.  Paul Heyman was not seen in any capacity all night, which is more than a bit baffling.  After Bubba helped D-Von get the cheap win, both Duds started pounding on RVD until Rey Mysterio ran out for the save.  And with that, it looks like we've got a HUGE FOURTH MATCH for PPV in just a few days.  Whheeeee!  And it's only a rematch of a match we saw a week ago!  Better make it a tables match or something...
  • Backstage: GM Kurt Angle wheels up to Eddie Guerrero and gives him a piece of his mind.  Eddie's behavior last week was deplorable, and is not to be repeated.  Or else.
  • Interview: Michael Cole hops in the ring and brings out new Cruiserweight Champ Jacquelyn.  They only get to talk briefly about her trailblazing title win before the Chavos come out and interrupt.  They are so confident that Jacquelyn's win was a fluke that Chavo Classic issues a challenge for a non-title match RIGHT NOW.  Jackie accepts.
  • Chavo Guerrero Classic beat Jacquelyn with a little help from New Chavo.  Although it wasn't explicitly reported in any of the recaps I got, I ASSUME this means that Jacquelyn vs. Chavo Jr. will be added to the PPV.
  • Low Content Segment: first a recap of Booker T's Voodoo Scavenger Hunt...  then more with Eddie and Angle, with Eddie being warned to stay away from Bradshaw, who is on his way to the arena...  then some divas DVD hype...  then a clip of Bradshaw talking on a cell phone, apparently in his soon-to-be-arriving limo.
  • Booker T beat Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli, duplicating Undertaker's feat of a week ago.  Problem is that the FBI guys were clearly playing up the fact that they were still badly hurt from Taker's beating, so the segment seemed to have the overall effect of putting TAKER over some more, rather than doing anything for Booker.  Matters were not helped any when Booker was scared away from the ring when a patented Taker smoke and mirrors routine started after the match.  Or was that Booker's "Help From The Other Side"?  You know what?  I don't give a damn either way.
  • Eddie Guerrero is in the middle of a promo when the Big White Limo pulls up backstage, so Eddie immediately breaks off to go attack.  He even breaks a window.  But oh, wouldn't you know it, Bradshaw isn't in the limo.  It was all a trick.  But Eddie's violation of Kurt's order and damaging of the limo mean that Reno's finest (no, not as seen on Comedy Central) are there post haste to arrest Eddie and drag him away.  Wheeeeeee!  This fixes everything!
  • Hardcore Holly beat Charlie Haas in a match that all three reporters I got agreed would have been better placed on Velocity, or better yet, not happening at all.  Billy Gunn and Rico were also both at ringside and got involved to set up the finish, and dare I guess that we have ANOTHER RED HOT PPV MATCH IN THE MAKING?  Whatever.
  • Vignette: Rene Dupree is evil and French, and will use those skills to take the US Title on Sunday.
  • Vignette: after being strangely absent last week, Mordecai was back and promising to be at Judgment Day on Sunday.  HE will save the show!
  • John Cena beat Sakoda in a non-title match.  Squash.  The excitement, it never starts!
  • Bradshaw beat Rey Mysterio in your Alleged Main Event.  Actually, not a horrible match, but at this point, my knee automatically jerks against all sentences that include "Bradshaw" and "main event" without "should never ever be within shouting distance of the" in between.  Rey sold like a mad man and made Bradshaw look pretty tough, crowd got into that dynamic, and then popped for Rey's hope spots and eventually comeback.  However, he came up short in the end as Bradshaw reversed his way into a big clothesline for the pinfall win.  Show will probably end on that note, although they did do a Bonus Finish for the live crowd where Bradshaw got on the mic and started taunting, and then Undertaker came out and beat him down for a bit.  Yay!  Last chance show before a shitty-ass PPV, and let's not even use Taker on television.  GENIUS!

Folks, I'd tell you to tune in tomorrow night, but I'm not a sadist.  I'd tell you that we'll be trying to put the happiest face possible on Judgment Day here at OO with Team PPV Preview Coverage, but I'm not even sure I'd have anybody who wants to be on the team with me.

I'm at a loss....

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.


  
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