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ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
WWE TV Spoilers
June 2, 2004

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Well, for the second week in a row, I'll get to go into SD! fresh thanks to a detailed/complete tapings report that I feel comfortable just cutting and pasting after a light scan!

Problem is, OO's Very Own Canadian Bulldog was also at the tapings in Toronto, and kind of sent a Cliff Notes' version of the spoilers in case I needed it.  And his subject header was "I Paid $30 for this shit?" which kind of gives me an idea what's in store.

Then again, that's one man's opinions, and something I took away from Andrew Murchison's more-detailed report (reproduced below) was a lot more enthusiasm about the product in his final, concluding paragraph.  So who knows?

Be like me and go in not sure WHAT'S gonna happen, or just read on and spoil the next four days worth of TV for yourself.  No skin of my nose, either way...

WWE Sunday Night Heat
(Taped Monday, Airs Sunday)

  • Rhyno defeated Some Guy (one report said this was a Dark Match)
  • Hurricane and Rosey defeated Two Guys (same report said this was ALSO a dark match)
  • Maven beat Stevie Richards
  • Batista beat Val Venis  (whoa, even if both "Some Guy" matches end up on Heat, this is NOT looking like a barn burner of a Heat)

WWE SmackDown/Velocity Tapings
Toronto, ONT, Canada / Tuesday, June 1
Thanks to OO Reader Andrew Murchison

Dark Match:
Carly Cologne (sp?) vs. ?? Silverstein
=================
Silverstein was announced as being from Toronto, so he got a bit of a
pop.  Match was boring, picking up a bit at the end.  Cologne won with a
version of the flatliner.

Velocity:
Mark Jindrak (w/Teddy Long) vs. Billy Kidman
=================
Kidman got the first decent pop of the night.  Decent back & forth match,
won by Jindrak with a nice looking move after Long tried to distract the
referee during a shooting star attempt.  I must note that Long is
hilarious on the mike during this segment, although I don't care for
Jindrak.

Charlie Haas and Rico (w/Jackie in a NICE dress) vs. Akio and Sokada (Tag
Team Title Match)
=================
They did the entrance ramp thing, but Charlie still didn't do the runway
posing, although he considered it.  Jackie held the ropes open, Rico
ducked in, Charlie kissed her on the navel as he ducked in.  Very good
match, mixing the comedy with some really decent action as well.  Champs
retain.

Spike Dudley vs. Shannon Moore
=================
Very boring, with one decent spot where Spike jumped on Shannon from the
corner as Shannon was on the floor.  Spike won with the Dudley Dog.



SmackDown!:

Video clip replaying (and pep talk leading to) the abduction of Paul
Bearer pre-pyro.

Open with Booker T promo.  Addresses Undertaker, says he had nothing to do
with the abduction, and somehow twists it to say that it was Undertaker
fault, and he's not afraid to wrestle Undertaker tonight.  Interupted to a
MONSTROUS pop by John Cena (in Blue Jays shirt).  Booker starts to say
that Cena is a Booker T wanna-be (his you can't see me handshake being
similar to his five time handshake).  What follows is (in all honesty) too
friggin' hilarious to describe decently, and Cena does his best/worst
Booker T impression.  Sure it had some toilet jokes, but I swear he had
the cruise control on because it came out so easily.  Of course, this
leads to Cena challenging Booker to go right now if Booker has a problem
with Cena.  Booker says sure, but he's got Undertaker tonight so no. 
Interrupted by Angle (good heat) w/his caretaker.  Guess what, he still
doesn't like Cena.  Cena starts to ask Angle what he's going to do about
it when he's attacked by Booker.  Brawl goes outside, where eventually a
stunned Cena falls onto Angle.  Then Booker goes for a chair and also
misses and hits Angle.  Angle orders Cena ejected from the building (not
shown).

First match: Eddie Guerrero vs. D. Basham (accompanied by brother)
(Non-Title).
=================
I forget exactly which one it was.  Eddie came down with his lowrider as
usual.  Decent but not a huge pop.  Two spots of note: Eddie tossed to the
outside, other Basham attacks.  Eddie grabs a chair, tosses it at him, and
drops down as if injured.  Ref sees the Basham with the chair and sends
him to the back.  Near endgame, Eddie grabs the belt after a refbump,
decks his opponent, tosses the belt to the corner, and plays possom.  At a
6 count, Eddie pops up and gets the frog splash for the win.  Decent, but
honestly Eddie seemed a bit off tonight.

Cut to back where Charlie and Rico get a preview of Miss Jackie's swimsuit.

Mordecai comes out and rips into the crowd while "praying for our souls". 
Says God may forgive us, but he doesn't.  Don't care.

Second match: Team "Cannot Get Over No Matter How Hard We're Pushed" vs.
the FBI
=================
Absolutely snoozefest that the crowd completely sh*t on.  Why are Gunn and
Holly still around?  Team CGONMHHWP wins.  Who cares.

Bikini Time:
=================
Our MC is Jamie Knoble, who's in a tux.  Torrie gets to play in a sandbox
(I felt dirty). Dawn gives Jamie a virtual lapdance while he's in a beach
chair.  Sable walked around with a towel.. and yes, she still had her suit
on.  Jackie dumped a bucket of water on her head.  Torrie and Jackie got
big pops in the voting, Dawn's was decent, and the crowd RIPPED into
Sable's poor performance.  Jackie was declared the winner, and Jamie said
the prize was she got to kiss and hug him.  He got soaked by all 4 ladies
and then pushed into the sand.  Harmless eyecandy filler.

I believe the reshow the motivation speech Heyman gave the Dudley's last
week here.

Third Match: Chavo Classic (with Jr.) vs. Funaki (Cruiserweight)
=================
Funaki got a good cheer, but seemed to come down during commercial so he's
not going to win.  Mixed reaction for los Chavos.  Jr. takes up position
on commentary.  Short but decent match, with a few really nice spots. 
Champ retains.  After the match, four girls run in from the crowd into the
ring, and after being held back a bit by security for a bit, Classic says
it's OK, they can come with him.  Jr. applauds his dad.

RAW rebound here?  Eugene recap essentially, ending with Benoit/Kane
staredown.

Fourth Match: Rene Dupree (briefly w/Fifi) vs. Rey Mysterio
=================
Several people in the front row camera side have the letters to spell out
"French Phenom."  He gets mixed reaction, Rey gets a nice little pop.
Usual very good Rey match, 5 minutes or so.  Attempted 619 was avoided,
but Rey countered Rene's powerbomb(?) into a pin by his leg scissors
sunset flip.

Time for JBL announcing that the match at Great American Bash will be a
bullrope match.  Crowd did not like JBL, nor did they like the concept of
a bullrope match.

Showing the abduction of Paul Bearer.

Main Event: Booker T vs. The Undertaker.
=================
Undertaker got a BIG pop.  I must say his entrance is extremely cool in
person.  Very good match, maybe 10 minutes.  Taker starts on offence, and
attempts to go "Old School"... but Booker KICKED THE ROPES TO KNOCK HIM
DOWN in a very cool looking spot.  Now have Booker on offence for a
decent amount of time, until Undertaker starts his comeback and starts to
set up the Last Ride, which is countered, so he insteads hits the
chokeslam... when Paul Heyman interrupts.  Damn, that was actually a good
match, but I'm guessing it's no contest (Booker rolls outside and is
tended to by the ref).  My rating for the show dropped a bit here.  Heyman
says Taker should be more concerned about what the Dudley's are doing to
Bearer than beating up Booker.  Taker grabs Heyman by the throat, to be
interrupted on screen by the Dudley's, who say that if cares about what
happens to Bearer, then he'll listen to Heyman.  Taker loosens the grip. 
Heyman says he'll give Taker a week to think about this, but he wants
Taker to JOIN UP WITH HIM AND THE DUDLEY'S.   Hmmm... I'm suddenly
intruiged again (rating back up a bit).  Heyman exits saying that after
all these years, it's not Taker who has Heyman by the throat, but Heyman
who has Taker's throat.  Presuming the show ends here.

Post show entertainment:
=================
Re-enter JBL (huge boos).  He then proposes that since both he and Taker
are from Texas, they should team up to take out Eddie instead.  I don't
remember exactly what went on, but it was pretty funny.  I may not like
JBL all that much, but I'll at least say his reactions to Taker's stares
and slow advances were spot-on hilarious as he rambled about Canada being
Mexico North and such. Keeps saying he's not scared (OK, maybe a little
nervous, but not scared), takes off his jacket to fight, feigns saying OK
he is scared and not fighting, and tries to get a cheapshot in.  Taker of
course fights back with ease until the Dudley's come out.  They beat him
down for a while until Taker starts a bit of a comeback, then Dupree comes
out and the heels now have full advantage.  Cena rescues to another huge
pop, but the heels still have the advantage until Eddie comes down to
another decent pop and the faces again start to win.  Booker reenters and
gets chokeslammed again, and at some point JBL gets tossed out and back
away while Eddie hunts him down.  Taker is the last one left in the ring,
poses for the crowd for a bit, then goes to the back.


Although it did have the two really low points (the JBL promo and the
Holly/Gunn match), overall the show was thoroughly entertaining and I hope
it will probably come off extremely well compared to RAW this week.  I
think I'll end up prefering SmackDown for the first time in ages, mainly
because they've planted some interesting seeds in Cena/Booker and the
whole Heyman proposal to the Undertaker.  Surprised not to see RVD there
though.

Best Pops:
=================
Cena (monstrous)
Undertaker
Eddie (not as loud as I expected)
Kidman (probably being the first good face wrestler)
Mysterio

Biggest Heat:
=================
JBL (mix of good and bad heat -- but heat is heat)
Angle
Gunn/Holly (for a lousy match)
Booker T (solid, but not overwhelming)
Mordecai (lack of reaction, some boos) 

 

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.


  
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