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ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
WWE TV Spoilers
July 7, 2004

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Holy shit!

Don't look now, folks, but has SmackDown! finally put on a show that looks Good On Paper?  The answer, I think, is a big ol' Yes.  For the first time since I don't even remember when.  This is so exciting!

I mean, part of me wishes I wasn't already Spoiled, but given that the Best Spoiler Possible is knowing that I should lay off the FF button, I'll make do.  As it stands, it's a GOOD feeling to know what happens tomorrow on UPN, and to know that I'll actually have fun when I sit down to watch SD!.

So folks, you can go ahead and just read the Spoilers if you like... but maybe this week, you go ahead and tune in to the show, or remember to set a tape, or something.  Visit with some of your old friends, who just MIGHT be getting back to not sucking week in and week out.

Or maybe it's just a one-week aberration.  Who knows?

Note: as is custom here, I'm taking a big pass on Heat spoilers. Most of us get a live pre-PPV edition of the show on Sunday, and if it happens on International Heat, it doesn't count anyway.  So, as compiled from e-mail reports, here's what happened at Night Two of the back-to-back Winnipeg TV tapings....

WWE SmackDown!/Velocity Tapings
Winnipeg, Manitoba, CA
July 6, 2004

  • Velocity: Funaki d. Sakoda...  Rene Dupree d. Nunzio (I'm assuming in a wrestling match, not in a Penis Size Challenge)...  The Grumpy Old Men d. the Bashams
  • Rob Van Dam beat Mark Jindrak.  Rene Dupree came out before the match to do color commentary and was ostensibly there to further his issue with RVD.  But he didn't play into the finish of the match, which was RVD winning cleanly via pinfall.  High energy opener, I gather.
  • Low Content Segment: first, Bradshaw announces that he's once again brought back El Gran Luchador (the Champion of Mexico) for a Special Challenge Match later tonight... then in a pre-taped vignette, Kenzo Suzuki ranted about John Cena and promised to regain his honor.
  • Kidman/Paul London beat the Dudley Boyz to win the WWE Tag Team Titles.  Following up on a good Velocity match from last week (smell the continuity!), Kidman and London AGAIN upset the Dudleyz, and again in a very good match.  See, it's easy, SD!: you don't have the main event horses, why not at least put TALENTED WRESTLERS FANS RESPOND TO INTO ACTUAL WRESTLING MATCHES WHERE THEY CAN SHINE?  Instead of asking Kevin Fertig to bleach his eyebrows and making nonstop poop jokes?  I mean, really....
  • John Cena hit the ring and cut a promo, focusing on Booker T, who he wrestles later tonight in the main event.  But partway through, Kenzo Suzuki interrupted him, and it went from talking to brawling really fast.  Cena got the better of it until Luther Reigns piled on and unevened the odds.  Cena was left laying to end the segment.
  • Backstage: London and Kidman are celebrating with the boys in the locker room when the Dudleys storm in...  and shake their hands?  Yep.  The Duds are taking the loss like men...
  • Charlie Haas heads to the ring, apparently summoned there by Kurt Angle.  With Haas in the ring, Angle appears on the TitanTron and tells Haas he's suspended for interferring in GM business last week.  The suspension will last one week, and when Haas returns 2 weeks from tonight, his punishment will conclude with a match against Luther Reigns.  WOW!  Another Hot PPV Rematch!  Feel the Excitment!  Although my cynicism is perhaps misplaced: it IS cool to see them TRYING to do something with Haas...
  • El Gran Luchador beat John Bradshaw Layfield by count-out (or possibly they went to a No Contest).  It was pure comedy, as EGL started out mocking and running from JBL.  Then it was pure squash, as JBL decimated EGL.  Then it went back to pure comedy, as JBL tossed EGL from the ring, and then a SECOND El Gran Luchador appeared and switched spots with the original.  When JBL brought the new EGL into the ring and couldn't pin him, he started getting suspicious, and finally it became obvious that the replacement EGL was Eddie Guerrero under a mask.  So JBL bolted the ring.  El Gran Luchardor proceeded to cut a promo about how his "good friend" Eddie Guerrero would be JBL for the WWE Title next week inside a steel cage.  Fun had by all according to reports!
  • Paul Heyman hit the ring for a promo.  In it, he not only distanced himself from the Dudleys on the grounds that they lost their tag titles, but he flat out sold them out.  Heyman announced that the whole plan with kidnapping Paul Bearer was the Dudleys idea, and Heyman had nothing to do with it.  As a peace offering, Heyman offers to return Undertaker's urn...  Taker does not show up, though, not even on the TitanTron, so Heyman just leaves the urn and takes off.  Hmmmm...
  • Jamie Noble, Akio, and Chavo Guerrero beat Rey Mysterio, Spike Dudley, and Scotty 2 Hotty.  Another good match and definitely another SEE IT'S NOT SO HARD, SD! Moment: good wrestlers in their element beats JBL chasing Mexicans and burying Paul Bearer in concrete anyday!  Solid action, ends with Noble stealing a win by getting the pin on Spike after it had seemed like the faces were about to go over...
  • John Cena and Booker T went to a No Decision, but GM Kurt Angle ended the show by stripping Cena of the US Title.  Angle and Luther came out right at the start of the match, and don't waste much time getting involved.  Angle helps turn the tide for Booker by using his crutch against Cena.  From there, pretty formulaic, with Booker dominating for a while until it's time for Cena's superman comeback.  And the crowd is going nuts for it: supposedly a really good, hot match, here.  But things were against Cena.  In the comeback, the action spilled outside.  And once outside, Cena tried to line Booker up for a clothesline (or something), but Booker dodged it.  And Cena took out Kurt Angle.  From there, Cena looked ready to win the match inside the ring, but that's when Luther hopped in the ring to attack Cena and Angle hopped on the mic to make a big announcement: Cena's attack violated the Board of Director's SPECIFIC instructions that Angle not be touched, so he STRIPS Cena of the US Title.  Angle orders Luther to bring him the US Title belt.  That's probably where the show will end tomorrow night, but they did do a little tag for the live crowd with Booker getting mad at not being able to win the US Title himself, so he continued the attack on Cena until Cena could come back and give the fans a Happy Ending.  Don't that sound dirty?

Hey, I'll cop to it: I'm gonna enjoy watching this show tomorrow.  I think.  I mean, it sounds like a good one.  So why not join me in trying to get enthused for what ALMOST looks like a bit of a reset for SD! (new tag champs, vacant US Title, hopefully next week the start of Eddie 2.0, and so on)?

But if you don't, hey, we'll have the full recap and analysis for you here at OO on Friday, so you can always just check that.... 
 

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.


  
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