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ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
RAW, Rock, Bare bOObies!, plus
Some Matt/Lita Talk, and MORE!
March 7, 2005

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Anybody catch the opulent University of Dayton Arena all over sports highlights shows yesterday? 
 
Because whiny douchebag supreme, Thad Matta, had to go and lead the impotent Buckeyes of Ohio State to an upset win over undefeated Illinois... which of course required that ESPN and the rest bust out the footage of Matta leading the Hated Muskies of Xavier to an upset win over undefeated St. Joseph's one year ago in the Atlantic 10

tournament staged right here in Dayton. Isn't it amazing how, if you let ME tell the stories, I can make almost ANYthing come back around to Dayton?

Unfortunately, I shan't tarry here with much additional small talk... for another thing that is coming around to Dayton right now is a freaky-ass thunderstorm, except that it's supposed to SNOW this afternoon and evening, not rain. And it's not just little sympathy thunder and lightning, either. We got real boomers going on here, and it'd be just my luck to get zapped with a power outage (or Road Runner/cable outage) on a Monday, either in the middle of a column, or in the middle of the greatest night of television of the week. 

So let's just cross our fingers, and get on with the show:

  • Tonight's RAW is live from the state of North Carolina. Tonight's RAW features Ric Flair in the scheduled main event match against Batista.
     
    Tonight's RAW, in other words, is gonna get interesting.
     
    So many questions: Is Batista a strong enough babyface to keep Flair a heel in the match? Does WWE even WANT Flair to be a heel? Or do they want him to be angry with Triple H over sacrificing him last week, and forcing him into this match this week? Could the night conceivably end with Ric Flair taking up sides WITH Batista against HHH, to the joy of his home state fans? And best of all: could such an ending just be a set-up in which Flair's true allegiance remains with HHH?
     
    You all know by now that I favor keeping Flair in the middle of HHH and Batista, and you should also all know that that is just one of the many reasons I was deeply annoyed by the "Retarded James Bond Villain Reveal" of HHH's secret plan 2 weeks ago: because Flair too quickly tossed aside his mixed emotions and sided with HHH. But now, with the antics of last week, and with a unique opportunity to have Flair perform in front of a partisan crowd tonight, WWE could pretty much undo that minor mistake and put Flair right back in the role of either a tweener or in the role as the not-quite-trustworthy ally of Batista's.
     
    Either way would be fine with me.
     
    How things play out between Flair and Triple H easily becomes my "Storyline of the Night" as we head into tonight's show, and assuming it plays out wisely, that means that Batista vs. Flair should follow up as the Match of the Night.  It won't be the same type of match Batista had against Chris Benoit, but it should be entertaining with heavy doses of the ever popular "ring psychology" and intramatch storytelling.
     
    Of course, with the most intriguing story and match all tied into the Batista/HHH feud, that only underscores how thin the rest of the RAW brand is in terms of pressing issues.
     
    One has to assume that tonight Randy Orton finally says or does something to indicate his interest in facing the Undertaker at WM21. There are already ads, magazine articles, and TV specials hyping that match, but because of WWE's seemingly-willful mishandling of All Things Orton, those of us that only watch the TV shows wouldn't have any clue as to how or why that match exists at this point. All we've got is Orton nodding dimly at a couple of pep talks, and then (in true Dumb Guy fashion) eyeballing the cover of "SmackDown! Magazine" (where all the cool fifth graders get their expert wrestling news!). One would have to assume that with all of 3 weeks to set up the match, Orton would keep it simple, and declare that he'd like to be the guy who ends Undertaker's WM winning streak, or something like that... which is not only not very convincing/compelling, but which had better be the start of WWE intentionally inching Orton back towards heelishness, otherwise, this'll flop badly with anyone who is not a dimwitted female aged 13-21.
     
    Even if the Orton/Taker thing somehow catches some fire, it'll still only be the second-hottest crossbrand story, because we've finally gotten some stank on the Angle/Michaels feud. Now, since last week we had both Kurt and Shawn crashing each other's shows, I don't think WWE will have them doing that again. In their minds, that'd be too much of a good thing, and us fans don't deserve that... so instead maybe this is a promo week for Michaels, or something? I'd have been absolutely fine with that, and suggested that he should be banged up and nearly immobile to sell the match/attack from last week's show, except that he *was* on SD! showing no ill effects, so you can't use the beating he took last week from Edge and Angle as an excuse to limit him to a promo tonight.
     
    It's still the laziest storytelling possible, but Chris Jericho's Six Pack Ladder Challenge could very well end up being the RAW brand's best shot at a Match of the Year candidate on the WM21 card... at present, all we know is that Jericho wants to do a ladder match with five other guys. And even if we make some reasonable guesses (Benoit, Edge, and Christian should all be mortal locks) there's still a couple slots open. Filling those slots becomes more and more problematic the more I think about it, though: you could conceivably use this match to put either Shelton Benjamin's IC Title on the line, or even Tajiri/Regal's tag titles... or you could include no champions, and make the prize above the ring something else entirely.  There's any number of ways to go after you lock in the four Canucks, and I honestly have no idea which out of 6 or 7 entirely reasonable options WWE might go with to fill those 2 slots.
     
    For that reason, maybe it's Jericho who gets extended promo time this week for a Highlight Reel in which he further explains his match idea and invites a few people to participate (and has a few other gate crashers invite themselves?)... since Flair/Batista will likely be on the shorter side in the main event slot, such a Jericho promo could also set up a mid-show "anchor" match where we get either a tag or a six-man match that goes 15-20 minutes (if all six players in the match are determined in the Highlight Reel segment, why not go Jericho/Benoit/XXX vs. Edge/Christian/XXX? If it's only four, then Jericho/Benoit vs. E&C is plenty tasty, too).
     
    One of the possible wild cards in the equation is one Matt Hardy, who -- like Ric Flair -- is a North Carolina resident, and has widely been expected to return to WWE TV on tonight's show for a few weeks now. Except that all of a sudden (for reasons we'll hit on a bit later), nobody's sure what role it would be appropriate and comfortable for Matt to play given some things happening in his personal life. A few things ARE for certain: whether or not he puts that personal stuff aside and enters into a storyline with Kane or gets into the six-man ladder match with Edge, if Matt Hardy shows up on TV tonight, he'll probably be greeted VERY warmly. Edge has been brutalized by fans throughout the midsouth at this weekend's house shows, and if Trish slips up and utters the phrase "red headed slut" in the wrong context, she might just be North Carolina's mostest favorite girl...
     
    Speaking of which: I continue to fear that we're on target for a women's title match in which Trish will defend the title against Christy Hemme (she of two sloppily-worked lingerie pillow fights experience) at the biggest event of the year. I still say that unless there's something we don't know about Spaz's training and in-ring ability, it's better for the division and for the title to "hide" the one-on-one title match on RAW, and use the WM stage for something that won't quite suck as much. I remain a fan of figuring out some mixed tag equation.
     
    At least we know exactly what to fear when it comes to the women's division... the tag division is an awful mess, and if Tajiri and William Regal make it onto the WM21 card at this point, I'd be shocked. They can't even make it onto RAW the last 3 Mondays. This needs to be corrected, pronto. At this point, "Coach and Some Mystery Partner" is about as close as Tajiri and Regal have to a going-feud... and that's only among the handful of people who actually watch Heat.
     
    In essence: tonight's a night when a lot of shit has to happen to keep us rolling towards WM... not a lot of it will build seamlessly from last week (for instance: Edge can't keep obsessing over HBK while HBK is focused on Angle... and who the hell knows what's supposed to be the deal with Benoit/Jericho and Hassan? Their issues don't seem over, but nor do they seem particularly compelling or WM21-worthy), but hopefully whatever we do get tonight will give us a better idea of the WM matches and stories we should be getting excited about.
     
    At the very least, all the pieces are in place to make tonight a very intriguing "value-add" to the Batista/HHH story, by taking advantage of Ric Flair working in his home state.  Should be good stuff.
     
    So check it out, or if it is your preference, you can wait till tomorrow, when OO will have the Finest RAW Recap in All The Land for you to check out. The OO RAW Recap: Making Shitty Shows Fun and Making Good Shows Great Since 2003!
     
  • Semi-bad news for The Rock...
     
    He got smoked at the box office by Vin Diesel. Except not really: as a bit player on an ensemble cast, Rock can take neither significant credit nor blame for "Be Cool's" underperformance on its opening weekend.
     
    Projected to make close to $30 million and top the box office charts, "Be Cool" instead made $23 million, and finished second to Vin Diesel's "The Pacifier." I'm no Hollywood expert, but everything I read yesterday categorized this as a major league surprise...
     
    I'd suggest that bad reviews kept receipts for "Be Cool" a bit lower than expected... except that "The Pacifier" is an outright retarded kids movie that reviewed EVEN WORSE than "Be Cool," so that makes no sense. Unless poor reviews don't scare off families from blowing money at the theaters to keep their snot-nosed brats entertained, whereas the adults who'd have to invest their own time and money to see "Be Cool" were warned off by shitty reviews? Maybe that's something...
     
    In any case, it's mildly ironic, since before The Rock was pegged as the "Next Action Hero," Vin Diesel had that title. And I'd assumed he'd lost it, because he's yet to make a single movie that isn't a totally brain-cell-killing shitfest (and on top of that, he seems like about as dumb a man as is still capable of dressing himself in the morning, if recent talk show appearances are any indication)... and yet, this weekend, Vin Diesel rises up and symbolically smites The Rock at the box office in their first semi-head-to-head duel. Never underestimate the stupidity of the American populace.
     
    That said: there's nothing particularly good to be said for anybody who selected "Be Cool," either. I made the mistake of getting sucked into a trip to the theater on Saturday afternoon, and I'm quite sure it wasn't just the foul mood from the UD Flyers loss I'd just endured on TV: "Be Cool" just wasn't very good. Not awful, as some have desperately wanted to paint it. But just lazy, uninteresting, and at the very most, one-eighth-assed. Like an ensemble piece where everybody decided "To hell with actually acting, or having a story that anybody cares about, we're just going to kick back, relax, and have fun, and win people over with our innate Movie Star Charisma and Likeability." Which worked great for "Ocean's 11" and "12," but works slightly less well when the script is 200% less clever, and every cast member across the board is either 2 or 3 notches less talented (Travolta for Clooney, DeVito for Carl Reiner, Vince Vaughn for Andy Garcia, etc., etc., etc.). Still not the kind of movie you curse the second it's over, but just not worth giving the Whole Theater Treatment to, either. If you simple GOT to see it, wait till it hits the $2 theaters, and then you'll at least come close to getting your money's worth. Because while the Rock *is* pretty funny in the movie, you've probably already seen his best scene if you watched him last week on Letterman/Conan/Daily Show...
     
    Of course, no matter how non-positive I am about "Be Cool," the simple fact is that the trailer I saw during some "coming attractions" a few months ago was enough to insure that I could never, in one billion years, be coaxed into seeing "The Pacifier." In fact, "coming attractions" might be the time when I die the most inside in a given week or month; sitting there, jaw dropped in horror at the stupidity that is coming soon to a theater near me, sometimes commiserating over it with whichever of friends or family are with me... and all around me, idiots are laughing and cheering. I still remember the trailer for "The Pacifier" vividly, because I remember the laughs it got for some of the dumbest sight gags ever, and thinking to myself, "5 minutes ago, I wouldn't have bet there were 250 people this dumb in the whole wide world... and yet somehow, here they are, and all congregated into the same room, to boot."
     
    Thus ends the HollywOOd Minute...
     
  • Something interesting: for the second weekend in a row, schedule RAW house show main events where Batista was to team up with Randy Orton against Triple H and Ric Flair basically wrote Orton out within the opening minute.
     
    Around the horn, Batista then went on to win essentially a handicap match over HHH and Flair... but it's curious that they'd bust out a chairshot-to-Orton (and my understanding is that they followed up with the "Concussed Idiot" thing a bit, and assisted Orton to the back) and write him out of main events.
     
    Well, it's "curious" but it's also "vindicating," "heartening," and a few other gerunds. Because it seems that for once, WWE has figured something out on their own without having to fail miserably for a month straight: Batista's push to the WM21 main event does NOT need Orton involved. Batista doesn't have time to be trying to give his "rub" to Orton, and in fact, Orton's floptasticness would be more likely to rub off on Batista if the two spent too much time together, and if Orton in any way usurped Batista's First Negotiating Position when it comes to handing out ass-kickings.
     
    Not letting Orton get more than 3 minutes of face time on the house shows, and having fans going home happier from said house shows than they have from house shows in a while, should also be a pretty clear-cut sign to WWE as to what Orton's value to the company is: maybe there'll come a day when he's a brand-carrying babyface, but when you can craft satisfying shows that have Orton out there for 3 minutes and not one fan raises a stink? That day is not today...
     
    I remain steadfast in my belief that what Orton needs is a heel turn and a trade over to SmackDown! right after WM. But what's cool is that I might have been saying this since November, but it's only now that I'm starting to think that WWE sees the wisdom behind my suggestion. They're still doing it a dumb way (I assume Orton "snaps" after losing to Taker at Mania? Just a little to obvious, a little too lazy, and not with NEARLY enough backstory), but I stuff like keeping Orton out of Batista's way on house shows is a start to reducing Orton's importance to the RAW brand...
     
  • A few readers who have learned well at the feet of The Rick passed along a deliciously cynical observation... that WM21 might feature more than just one guest musical act (already, Motorhead is expected to perform, as discussed last week).
     
    Specifically, they think that as a condition of Hulk Hogan joining up for WM weekend festivities, you might as well just pencil in Brooke Hogan as the performer of "America the Beautiful." That's a good call, you magnificent bastards: Hogan has used his clout to get his daughter spots doing the National Anthem for various sporting events in Florida, so something like this wouldn't surprise me at all...  
     
    Man alive: first Howard Finkel works his one night a year at WM, and now Hogan's daughter might be taking over singing duties... poor, poor Lillian Garcia...
     
  • May I interest you in some bOObies? Or at least, talk of some bOObies?
     
    The first scans of Christy Hemme's Playboy pictorial are making the rounds as subscribers begin getting their copies of the April edition of the magazine that should hit newsstands in about a week. As I opined last week: Spaz doesn't even really look like Spaz in the pictorial, but instead like what some trowel-using, glamour photography make-up artist and some wardrobe person fresh off some cheesy Planet Cinemax softcore semi-porno THINK Spaz SHOULD look like. It's the same basic thing that made it nearly impossible to tell the difference between Torrie Wilson and Sable in last year's WM-timed issue of Playboy. And I do believe I'm on record as not being a big fan of that sort of generic whoring up overshadowing whatever unique facets of babeosity Spaz has that makes her so uniquely Spaz. It might not sound like it, but trust me: I mean this as probably about the nicest thing I've ever said about Christy Hemme... like many genuinely attractive women before her, she simply did not benefit from Playboy's misguided concept of "hot," if you ask me.
     
    That said: if you need evidence that Spaz (or at least, some girl who kinda, maybe, sorta looks like her) does, indeed, possess nipples, then THIS PICTORIAL IS FOR YOU!
     
  • But speaking of possessing nipples!
     
    Much like her rightful job on the RAW roster, Gail Kim's nipples have been stolen! Kind of!
     
    Apparently, Gail did some topless photoshoot in Korea, but the only versions of the pictures that have been leaked out so far have this funky pixelation thing going so that you can't see any nipple. Already, the furor over the pixelation has begun... all I can tell you folks is: I may not speak from firsthand experience, but I think we can all safely assume that Gail Kim does, in fact, have nipples, and unless your imagination has utterly broken down, she's still given you the the important part of the nakedness, and you should be able to picture the rest.
     
    And if not, find some twisted loner to use Photoshop to smooth out the pixelation and paint in a couple perky brown pencil erasers for you.
     
    The funny thing is that, even with the creepy digitized pixelation, I think Gail's nudie pics look more like real life than Spaz's. Show up, take off your top if you're comfortable doing so, and mostly, just smile pretty so it looks like you're having as much posing as all us are having ogling: looking one's hottest really ain't rocket science.
     
  • And how have I managed to see these ill-gotten pirated pictures of breasts? Well, I obviously would have nothing to do with distributing such copyrighted-by-others filth here at Online Onslaught dot com.
     
    But I also happen to have a secret shame: that I wield absolutely ZERO power over what may or may not be posted in the OO Forums. Specifically in this section.
     
    If you catch my drift.
     
    There might even be evidence of TRISH STRATUS' nipples to be found somewhere in the vicinity. I wouldn't know, like I said: the forums aren't my thing. But if I had, I'd probably opine something along the lines of: no matter how appealing I may find Trish, the mere sight of nipple does not offset the fact that she's contorted into implausible (and possibly painful) poses and making really fake "sexy faces" in all pictures in which the nipples appear. 
     
    But remember: my alleged disappointment and unarousedness is all merely Hypothetically Speaking, of course.
     
    If you catch my drift.
     
  • I can be no less subtle than that, I assume... and it seems my attempted subtlety over the past few weeks with regard to Matt Hardy and Lita has been ultimately misguided.
     
    Figuring that it was none of our business and that Matt deserved his privacy once you got past the point of what he, himself, had revealed to fans on his website, I posted no lurid details here at OO.
     
    Of course, I always underestimate the thirst for what's none of our business that y'all seem to have, and it turns out that even though Matt himself has not added anything new to the pile in the last 4-5 days (in fact, his website crashed, likely due to sites like OO linking to it, and causing a massive, unexpected spike in traffic; and now that it's back up, most of Matt's own comments on his message board have been lost), some of Matt's friends and confidents have posted on other message boards, revealing the apparent "truth" to all.
     
    I don't know if any of that was done with Matt's blessing or knowledge (perhaps justifying it with a "Better to get the truth out there than let rumors fester," maybe?), or not... but since it's out there, I might as well just go ahead and repeat this:
     
    Matt Hardy has broken up with Lita, and it's because she cheated on him with Edge. Of course, all the information circulating from Matt's side uses "Amy Dumas" and "Adam Copeland," but I won't bother to patronize you... I know the real names, you know the real names, you know I know the real names, let's just call 'em how we call 'em 99% of the time, OK?
     
    Without getting into details and timelines, the initial read I got on this situation a week or so ago was that Lita was the villain (at least, in Matt's mind), as Matt was willing to forgive the physical transgression(s) if Lita cut it off with Edge and was willing to work through it with him, but that Lita couldn't make that promise to Matt. Which, if true, makes Matt Hardy practically a saint in this whole ordeal.
     
    In the last week, the confirmation that it was Edge started going around, and suddenly, there was more blame to distribute. It's stupid to ponder who pursued who: Edge and Lita have been excellent friends going back 4-5 years, and in cases like that, I have a feeling that maybe one made the first move, but this was a deal where everything happened pretty much reciprocally, consensually, simultaneously, and all that. Which on one level might just be human nature, but on another is about as wicked an indictment on Edge and Lita's inability to be responsible and rise above basic human nature as there can be... because to pursue their relationship, Lita had to turn her back on a five-year relationship with Matt, and worse: Edge is a married man (to, I believe, his second wife) who Matt considered a friend. And though they amount to the same basic betrayal of trust, in all of our heads, I think it's hardwired that "cheating" is still one rung lower on the Bad Person Ladder than "adultery."
     
    So now in addition to being hurt and frustrated over Lita, Matt's official website has started adding little additional "Matt Facts" in the last week that seem like little jabs at Edge (i.e.: "Matt Hardy has never betrayed a close friend"), which raises something that I'd kind of hoped wouldn't be as big an issue: that of whether Matt and Edge can work together. I sort of thought maybe Lita would have to take the heat on this one as the bad guy in the tale (from initial second- and third-hand rumors), but all of a sudden, Edge is looking every bit as culpable in all this, and every bit on Matt's shit list.
     
    Which of course, would make it less likely that WWE would want to put them in the same ring together for the six-man ladder match (which would have been an ideal way to ease Matt back onto TV and into a story AWAY from Kane/Lita).
     
    As mentioned above, this little soap opera has spread like wildfire, despite my best intentions and sense that it should be kept quiet. Not only has Edge been taunted with chants and signs at RAW house shows over the weekend, but the sheer velocity with which the story spread has all kinds of fans mailing in asking if this is all a work, all a storyline.
     
    And kids, not to be too crass here, but: if you think this is a wrestling storyline, you're a fucking dolt. At best, you could tell yourself this is a little something Matt and Edge are doing to amuse themselves, but that still makes little to no sense... just think about it: for this to be a storyline, for this to be the angle that brings Matt back to TV and launches a "shoot feud" with Edge, you have to completely disregard almost a year of Actual RAW Storytelling.
     
    For Matt vs. Edge in the Battle for Lita to work as a TV Storyline, first you'd have to explain the part where Lita separated from Kane and probably had to get a divorce. This has never happened as far as fans know. Then you'd have to explain the part where Lita got back together with her one and only soulmate, Matt Hardy. This has never happened as far as fans know. And THEN, after somehow taking for granted that these things that have never happened on TV HAVE happened, and ONLY THEN can you have Edge step in and have Lita cheat on Matt with him.
     
    In other words: get your heads out of your asses if you actually think that Matt Hardy shows up tonight and starts a "real life" feud with Edge. There's just too much story UNtelling and REtelling you'd have to do for this to make a lick of sense... they only way WWE could do it is if they actually presented it as, "Hey, you know that story with Kane and Lita and the pregnancy and the marriage and Snitsky and all that? Well, sorry, that was all fake, Loyal TV Viewers!  But this? THIS is REAL!"
     
    And doing things that way is so very, very wrong for so very many reasons, so let's just not even open that particular Pandora's Box of Nonsense.
     
    So that leaves us at an impasse: Matt Hardy and Lita might not be able to work together in the logical pay-off of the storyline with Kane... Matt Hardy and Edge might not be able to work together in a six-man ladder match at WM21... it has people (OTHER people, the ones not dead-set on this all being a fake wrestling angle) wondering what the future holds for all the key players.
     
    And even though he's the one guy who didn't do anything wrong in this whole mess, the consensus seems to be that Matt might have to be shipped back over to SD!, while Edge and Lita get to stay in the RAW spotlight. Just because it upsets the least number of RAW storylines to do it that way, I guess.
     
    I'd probably want to suggest that's not quite necessary, and that if everybody involved can make it through the next month or two, and through the brand lottery, then tempers may have cooled by the time Lita is actually ready to return to TV. At which point, perhaps everybody can work together again?
     
    If anything, that makes my short term idea for a Trish/Matt vs. Kane/Spaz match at WM21 even MORE appealing to me in light of recent developments. Because it would make sense in terms of TV storylines, it would protect the legitimacy of the women's title by not having Spaz get a shot at despite no evidence that she can wrestle, and best of all, there would be AMPLE opportunities for Trish and Matt to make snarky half-shoot comments that would allow Matt and his fans to kind of let loose a little steam without it getting ugly (and then everybody might be able to make peace and work together again in 6 more months or so). 
     
    It could almost turn into a game, where Matt can talk about Lita abandoning him for another man in a kind of ambiguous way and then at the last second remind us that he's talking about Kane. Obviously, the aforementioned "red headed slut" line could be a delectable double entendre coming from Trish, as it'd fit perfectly into her opinion of Spaz, but could be read an entirely different way, as well. The only real problem with this (and it's a big one) is that I think that if they're TOO good at it, such verbal chicanery and veiled jabs at Lita/Edge would probably make Trish and Matt mighty popular with a lot of fans...
     
    I mean, maybe only a quarter or a third of the audience religiously reads websites and newsletters, but the story of Lita cheating on Matt Hardy will make the rounds pretty quickly and become as widely accepted as fact as the knowledge that Matt and Lita were a real life couple (and remained so even after the Kane/pregnancy story), and even the average fans will be onto it before long.
     
    In any case, some of these questions might be answered if Matt Hardy shows up on RAW tonight. And if the answer we get from Matt is "Folks, first I stole Lita back from Kane without you knowing about it, and then Edge stole her from me without you knowing about it, but now I'm back and I'm pissed off," then I'll gladly kiss the virtual ass of each and every person who wrote in telling me this was so obviously just a fake storyline.
     
    We'll see how it goes, and what other fall-out there might be in terms of roster placement and pushes for the involved players.
     
  • I think on that note, I'm about done for today. I probably should start sneaking in some TNA talk, since they've got a PPV coming up this weekend...
     
    But the truth is that I remain cosmically underwhelmed by the TNA product and have a hard time even praising the good parts enthusiastically. And then the bad is still pretty bad (like how about the closing image of this weekend's "Impact," which was like Jeff Hardy perched a terrifying 8 feet above ground level like "Gay Batman" or something? it was enough to erase my appreciation of a decent little 15 minute Styles/Kash match, and replace it with pitying eye-ball-rolling as the show came to an end).
     
    But speaking of the good not even being as good as it could be, c'mon: this X Division Elimination Silliness for the PPV? It may well be the highlight of the show, but (a) it won't have an official line-up until the night of the event, and (b) the rules are about the dumbest and more convoluted bit of nonsense I can recall. Starting the match out as a tag match is the most retarded and pointless concept imaginable. There is no tag team prize on the line, so why use the "forced partner" gimmick? The only thing I can figure is that they came up with this giant stinking pile of illogic to create an excuse for Chris Daniels and AJ Styles to be "partners" and for Daniels to somehow underhandedly contribute to AJ's elimination en route to winning the title. In fact, regardless of if it's AJ/Daniels as partners, the match stips are so dumb that there's no reason NOT to turn on your partner and instantly get the quick elimination, there's no reason to ever tag into the match and risk being eliminated yourself, there is, in short, no way this stupid rules should have been allowed out of committee.  TNA apparently needs a "stupid patrol" as badly as WWE.... unless I'm the dumb one and *I* don't understand the rules, which is entirely possible considering how aggressively I try to zone out every sound that is emitted from Don West's word hole.
     
    And *that* is the match I'd probably be most fired up for on the PPV. So obviously, I can't be trusted to preview the show. Which is why I've again asked Jason Longshore to set aside his deep-seated loathing of me and my anti-indie ways to serve you up a Fan's Perspective on the Destination X PPV. Assuming he agrees to help out again this month, you can look for his preview later this week, and then his PPV recap next Monday.
     
    In fact, we should have lots of good stuff for you throughout the rest of the week here, including the on-going saga of Matt's Lord of the Reign Satire and plenty more. Maybe it'll even be enough to give myself a day off here, which might be nice considering that at the very least, this Flyer Fan knows he'll have college basketball to watch on Wednesday and Thursday nights... and if the gods smile upon us, maybe even into Friday and/or Saturday night. Cuz we might not be that great, but neither is anybody else in the Atlantic 10...
     
    But before I start going and giving myself days off and letting other bonus content carry the load, I'll see y'all again with the RAW recap tomorrow, and almost certainly hit you up with midweek news and stuff on Wednesday... see you then, kids.


  
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
 
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!
 
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
 
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
 
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
 
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
 
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!
 
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
 
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over
 
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
 
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
 
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
 
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo
 
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
 
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome
 
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?
 
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power
 
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
 
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
 
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
 
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
 
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
 
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!
 
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
 
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
 
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

 
 
E-MAIL RICK SCAIA

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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

 

 

 


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