Powered by LiquidWeb Search all of OO for news, columnists, and articles about your favorites!
 
News  -/-  Recaps  -/-  Columns  -/-  Features  -/-  Reference  -/-  Archives  -/-  Interact  -/-  Site Info
 

Donate to Online Onslaught!
CLICK HERE TO HELP KEEP OO ALIVE!
MAIN PAGE
NEWS
     Daily Onslaught
RECAPS
     RAW
     SmackDown!
     PPV
     NWA-TNA
     Heat
     Velocity
     Other 
COLUMNS
     Obtuse Angle
     RAW Satire
     The Broad
         Perspective

     Inside the Ropes
     OOld Tyme
         Rasslin' Revue
    
Circa/Dungeon 
     Title Wave
    
Crashing the
         Boards

     Deconstruction
     Smarky Awards
     Big in Japan
     Guest Columnists
     2 Out of 3 Falls
     Devil's Due
     The Ring
     The Little Things
     Timeline
    
SK Rants
    
The Mac Files
     Sq'd Circle Jerk
     TWiFW
FEATURES
     RAW vs. SD!:
         Brand Battle
 
     Cheap Heat 
     Year in Review
     Monday Wars
     Road to WM 

     Interviews
REFERENCE
     Title Histories
     Real Names
     PPV Results
     Smart Glossary
     Birthdays 
ARCHIVES 
INTERACT
     Message Boards
     Live Chat 
SITE INFO
     Contact
     OO History

If you attend a live show, or have any other news for us, just send an e-mail to this address!  We'd also love to hear from you if you've got suggestions or complaints about the site...  let us have it!

 
ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
RAW/Ratings, Jericho's Future, Diva Trade,
Dismissing a Few Non-Stories, and MORE! 
August 24, 2005

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Oh, what a zany, madcap, mixed up world we live in!
  
You've got Lance Armstrong, who's so clean-cut and straight-laced and is such a nice guy and a "feel-good" story and (if you ask me) is an annoying Vanilla Babyface, being found out for using performance enhancing drugs. Hypocrite.

You've got Pat Robertson, a purported Man of God who owns his own minor media empire 

which he'd like to pretend spreads the loving Gospel of the Lord to millions of devout True Believers, going on his TV channel and demanding the assassination of a Head of State. All of a sudden, he becomes a disciple of Bentham, instead of a disciple of Jesus? Hypocrite.

And perhaps most heinous of all: let's not forget Jonathan Coachman, who can flip between hating John Cena with all his heart to pimping John Cena's CD with remarkably convincing enthusiasm, all within the span of 30 seconds. Hypocrite.

What the hell is going on? I mean, I tend to be the type that doesn't volunteer a whole lot of my thoughts/feelings or information about myself, but if asked about any subject, I'll give an answer, and then it's an answer that holds up an hour later, a week later, or a year later. When did it become an impossibility to just live your life in an internally-consistent manner, where your words and actions correspond to each other? All of a sudden, it seems like nobody in the public eye can go more than a week without being exposed as a hypocrite in one way or another.

Or maybe it's just always been this way, and it's *me* who needs to start prevaricating a bit more, just so I can fit in? But eh, sorry, that's not really me... to steal from a shitty year-old Shawn Michaels promo, I prefer being "transparent" to people. Even if saying or doing what's really on my mind sometimes rubs people the wrong way, the one thing you'll probably never do is catch me in a paradoxical, oxymoronic, internally inconsistent display of hypocrisy. For better or for worse, anything but the littlest and whitest of lies just ain't in my playbook. Why bother with them? Really?

The world would probably be a better and less-uptight place if everybody really *was* just more forthcoming with their foibles. Me, I've said more than enough things here that (sadly) will probably keep me from ever being President. But that probably wouldn't be the case if we lived in a world where Clinton could have just said "Yeah, OK, so the chunky intern gave me a BJ. Big Deal. My wife will punish me, and I deserve that, but am I really the first guy to be under a lot of pressure and make a bad decision and is this really a matter of national importance?". Or Bonds could just quit playing games with the media and say, "Yeah, OK, so before baseball made it against the rules, I took somethings that turned me from a stick into a beefy manly man. Blame that uber-douche Selig for making the rules, not me for abiding by them." Or Randy Moss could be interviewed by HBO and (because he's NOT one of these morons who wants to be caught up in his own web of lies someday; bravo to him!) say "Yeah, OK, so I have some fun and smoke the occasional joint, but I don't let it affect my life like those other annoying assclowns who wake 'n' bake everyday and actually read High Times Magazine unironically, or anything," and it WOULDN'T be a Controversial Headline Story on SportsCenter, wasting my time and yours.

Wouldn't that be nice? Everybody realizes that nobody else is perfect, either, and thus, is more comfortable dropping all the smoke-screens and hypocrisy, since they know they are no more imperfect than the next guy. Even if the Next Guy is a future Hall of Famer or the President of the United States. At that point, pretty much the only people who'd be living lies would be Actual Criminals, who did something Actually Wrong, and thus would have reasons for Actually Covering It Up. Ahhhh: a society in which we all get our panties bunched over theft, rape, or murder. Instead of over a wide receiver who might enjoy a periodic toke of the dum-dum smoke. That'd be sweet; and if we lived in that society, I could probably go back to entertaining dream of the White House, as I've never done anything that would be considered truly wrong under these new Rules of Living.

And keep in mind: this isn't even a value judgment on Drug Use or Calls For Assassination or anything. In the ultimate irony, Pat Robertson's little theory about whacking Chavez might be about the most well-reasoned thing that's ever appeared on his little TV channel. Which isn't saying much considering the caliber of the daily programming, but still... point is, the only value judgment I'm making here is about people who can't seem to speak, act, and think consistently for more than 5 minutes at a stretch, and how they really get on my nerves.

And since pre-rambling about non-wrestling topics is something that I SHOULDN'T do for more than 5 minutes at a stretch, I think I need to get moving on to the on-topic bullet points before the clock runs out and I get on YOUR nerves:

  • Monday's RAW? Given the length and high quality of the Recap, I don't have a whole lot more to say about the show that I haven't said already.
     
    But if, for some reason, you have an aversion to being entertained and haven't read said recap, it kinda boils down to this: RAW was about the best it's been in 2 months, on the strength of two very good wrestling matches and a couple top shelf bits of promo work. But it was still far from perfect and, in fact, included more than a few moment of absolutely mind-numbing Suck.
     
    Given my understanding of the increasingly-factional/fractured nature of the creative team (more recent turnover is probably as big a reason for why there are gaping continuity holes on the show, and also why one segment might kick-ass, but then the next appears to have been written by a monkey with a fourth-grader's sense of humor), I guess that's not completely unexpected.... but my hope would be that over time, they would recognize which segments click and which ones don't, and use that knowledge to weed out the crap (and the crappy writers), so as to inch us back towards a 100% solid TV product.
     
    Things that clicked: Angle/Shelton, Jericho/Cena, and Angle's seamless move into the #1 Contender spot.... Michaels' promo and set-up for a one-week mini-program with Chris F. Masters (honestly, if Michaels can go on TV and use promos to put himself over Hulk Hogan to the point that people can cheer for him, do you REALLY think this thing is gonna end with Michaels doing a truly selfless act for a stiff like Masters? Nah, I think this'll end in a much more satisfying manner)... and Flair's return to an IC Title feud with Carlito.
     
    Things that didn't click: everything involving Snitsky and Big Show (that was actually about as poorly conceived and executed a pair of segments as I can imagine)... the diva trade and horrifyingly-clueless misuse of Diva Search Ashley in her first night as a member of the roster... the Hardy/Conway match, and subsequent Edge attack, which MIGHT still have some entertaining outs, but at this point, I'm just not feeling it... and the announcing all night long was putrid, even moreso than usual: just distracting and counter-productive, instead of the sort of kind of harmlessly-entertaining background chatter that is about the best we can seem to hope for from the current crew of WWE Announcers (especially if they're being fed lines directly from the brain of Vince McMahon).
     
    For a more detailed run down of the entire show, I strongly encourage you to check out yesterday's OO RAW Recap. I don't know why, but this is one of the rare ones that even *I* got a kick out of as I was scanning back through to format it. So I'm betting you'd enjoy it, too...
     
  • Monday's show did a 4.0 cable rating. That's a nominal jump from recent weeks, and finally gets RAW back at (actually one tick OVER) its spring average.
     
    Might the summer doldrums finally be ending? It was a strong show that had a slightly-bigger-than-usual audience.... but it could also have been as simple as a slight bump in viewership coming off the SummerSlam PPV. Fans who didn't check out the PPV, but were still interested enough to check out RAW to see what happened at SummerSlam could easily be good for a third-of-a-point or so.
     
    What WWE oughta hope for is that they liked what they saw enough to come on back next week.
     
  • Something else from RAW that's worth addressing: the Diva Trade. For those who aren't aware, Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle were traded over to RAW, while Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler are going to SD!.
     
    I'll just repeat what I said in the recap: Whhhhaaaaaaa?
     
    This really makes no sense to me. For one, if RAW is supposed to be the "wrestling" show (as far as the women go), and if Spaz is as dead-set on learning the ropes as she seems to be in interviews, then this is a big ol' brain teaser to send her over to SD! (where there's no need for improving in the ring) while bringing the in-ring-worthless Torrie and Boobies McTitsalot over to RAW.
     
    The only thing I can figure is that WWE might actually want to try to flip-flop the women's rosters between brands, or something. UPN has shown itself to have a rather sizable rod up its ass lately, while WWE's about to hop back into bed with the much-more-relaxed USA Network on Mondays... might they be thinking about making RAW the home of pointless Gravy Bowl Matches and nonsense like that? While covertly shipping more ring-capable women over to SD! to reconstitute the division there? I dunno, it's just a thought. But if it's a thought along the right lines, you need to do LOTS more work: how in the hell are you gonna explain sending Trish, Victoria, Lita, and probably even Ashley over to SD!? For that reason alone, I don't put a lot of stock into my own little theory... which only redoubles my confusion for why you'd bother doing this trade.
     
    Also: Spaz had finally found her perfect niche. As Eugene's cheerleader, she had a character that fit her (apparently real life) personality of being hyperactive and chipper. It suited her. So did the slutty quasi-cheerleader outfit, if you ask me. And it was a role where she'd maybe still get to be physically involved in matches sometimes, and maybe even do mixed tag stuff, but which would allow her to train and improve out of the spotlight of being a Serious Women's Wrestler. Which is what she needed. Instead, all that's out the window.
     
    A few have written in with a theory that this will also end up being part of a thing where Eugene gets sent over to SD!, so I shouldn't worry about it. Well: trust me, I already thought of that, considered it, and kinda dismissed it. I mean, if WWE didn't do the logical "Bischoff uses the draft lottery trade window to get rid of his pesky nephew" angle in June, why should I think they'd be creative enough to do it now? And plus: Regal just turned heel on SD!, which if they were gonna send Eugene over there, is something they should have saved up for another couple weeks so Regal could do it to Eugene, instead of in some lame-ass Velocitastic bit against fricking Scotty 2 Hotty.
     
    And Stacy's not exactly setting the world on fire as Hurricane and Rosey's little tautly-berumped mascot, but at least she's GOT a role on RAW, and one that's moderately productive. What's she got waiting for her on SD!? Nothing really leaps out at me. Unless they go and do the thing with her and Orton that I said they should do six months ago.... in which case, I bet it'd go over gangbusters, but I'd also wonder why the hell I keep on having WWE's good ideas (on average) 8 months before they do.
     
    Meantime, Torrie and Boobies? They subtract nothing from SD! by leaving, at least. But they also add nothing to RAW. So I just don't get it. And are they heels for beating up Ashley? Or babyfaces for the lame TV-G-rated implied Lesbianism? Nothing really flows together or makes sense here.

    Anybody have any thoughts on some pertinent aspect of this that I'm missing? Because as it stands, there are definitely a few brand trades I'd make, but this was none of them. At best, you could label it pointless; but considering the case of Spaz/Eugene and what RAW loses there, it might even be counter-productive.
     
  • On the issue of Eugene, some have also written in to wonder if Eugene should turn heel, or be "retooled" or something after getting booed 2 of his last 3 TV appearances.
     
    Short Answer: no.
     
    Longer Answer: no, because Eugene getting booed is not the fault of Eugene or his intrinsic character. It's the fault of an asshatted creative team. First, there is simply no way that the booking done in Pittsburgh for Angle/Eugene should have been approved without SOMEbody realizing that Eugene would get booed out of the building. And secondly, if the higher-ups are surprised that fans might be sick and tired of Eugene still doing the same shtick today that he did a year ago, then it's only because they still haven't exhausted their hard-on for this being 1985 instead of 2005. These days, you gotta keep your game a little bit fresh. WWE hasn't done even 5% of the cute/funny/interesting things they could do with Eugene. That 95% remains untapped, while they send him out there to rip off Austin and the Rock on a week-in and week-out basis.
     
    Writing for Eugene should be the easiest thing in the world: the foundation is there for him to be like a chameleon. Against technical wrestlers, he can have those skills. Against strong heel characters, he can focus more on promo work and getting under the skin of even the most stolid bad-ass. There are hundreds of impersonations/homages that Eugene could bust out, customized to his current feud (instead of just the 2 or 3 that he sticks to now). And yet, everytime I've mentioned some funny little idea for how Eugene could do something fresh to put smiles on the faces of the fans, he ends up going out the next week and just doing the same old stuff. Of course that'll eventually get him booed.
     
    One thing I WILL agree with, though, is that Eugene needs people around him to play off of. For one, it just kind of "fits" that the "Wrestling Retard" would have a keeper, somebody to look out for him and keep him on a leash. Regal, for reasons discussed to death over the past 18 months, was perfect for this role. I thought Spaz brought some interesting possibilities to the table, and if you were ever gonna try to recapture the simple sweetness of the Molly/Spike first-romance angle from a few years ago, Eugene's probably the guy to do it with, while Christy seems like a friendly enough and adventurous enough girl to be the convincing other end of that relationship. But now she's out the window, too. Leaving us with Solo Eugene. Which is something that I can't see working for long. So yeah: I do think something will have to happen that once again puts Eugene with a "keeper." Or at least, with a cohort/partner. But I don't think that necessarily entails Eugene being a heel, like most of you do.
     
    If Eugene were to go heel, about the only way I'd see it working is if you did a thing where Eugene was lonely because Spaz left. And then, because he isn't really too bright, he went to his Uncle Eric looking for a little companionship. And Eric, realizing that this could be a gift-wrapped drone for him to send on suicide missions, takes Eugene under his wing, afterall, and Eugene (desperate for friends) loses all his cute subversiveness and does Eric bidding in a surprisingly effective and competent fashion. You could even have Kurt Angle's looming partnership with Bischoff tie into this, by having Eugene forget all about the bad blood he had with Kurt and want to help him out, too. All because Eugene wants friends.
     
    This would not be a long-term heel thing, but for a goodly while, Eugene could be a willing lackey for Bischoff, and if they didn't make it TOO abusive a relationship out of the gates, you could milk it for a while until the inevitable day when fans (and probably some member of the roster who will step in to try to be Eugene's first REAL friend since Spaz left) will feel so sorry for Eugene that they get him to break away from Evil Eric and return to babyface status. Corporate Eugene would have a pretty limited shelf life, but it's something I might at least be willing to try....
     
  • Another big question mark after RAW: What becomes of Chris Jericho?
     
    Well, I hope none of you were too surprised. I mean, we've been talking about Jericho taking time off this fall for -- what? -- 2 months now. And with all the other ancillary issues of contract status and Fozzy aspirations and whatnot, I doubt very many of you thought Cena would be the one getting "fired" on Monday night.
     
    That said, until they announced the match stip, even I didn't have any firm grasp on the timetable of this thing. Jericho might have been sticking around through the next PPV, said some. Jericho wouldn't even show up for another appearance, and SummerSlam was gonna be it, said others. I didn't know. But I guess we found out pretty quickly: no Jericho at the next PPV. But at least he did make one more appearance on RAW to get "written out" in style.
     
    Again, if you missed the recap: you can bitch on Jericho's account about a LOT of mistreatment... but his sacless, brink-of-tears showing at the end of RAW? Nobody puts a gun to your head and gets you to put that much effort into looking like a wussbag. Jericho just wanted to set the bar a little higher than Bobby Heenan when it comes to "a guy who deserves better who, as a heel, knows the best way to entertain the fans is to show his ass on the way out the door." Mission accomplished.
     
    His contract situation? Apparently, there isn't one. He's technically a free agent, or will be at some point in the next few weeks. But like I said yesterday: the widely-held assumption is that after "recharging his batteries," Jericho will be back in WWE around the New Year. Pretty much as long as he shows up for the Rumble, he'll be right back in the mix for WM22. Jericho's a guy who's been remarkably injury-free over the span of his 6-year WWE career, which also means he's been remarkably on-the-road-constantly. This doesn't strike me as a Jeff-Hardy-esque flaky battery recharging as much as it does a well-deserved break. 
     
    He's got a band he likes playing with, but hasn't had as much of a chance to do so as he'd like (95% of Fozzy shows are after RAW house shows, and draw more of a wrestling crowd than a music crowd, which is something the band might like to change with a new booking philosophy during Jericho's break)... at age 35, Jericho's got a wife and young kid and might be at a point where that's just a TEEEEENSY bit more important to him than having fun out on the road.... but at the same time, at that age, he knows there's plenty of years left in the business for him, too, so why not stop and tend to other things now? 
     
    Also: Jericho signed his first WWE contract during the height of the wrestling boom and was also one of the two biggest free agent signings the WWF made that really put the Death Blow to WCW (the other being The Big Show), so he was well-compensated for those three years. And his second WWE contract/extension was signed before business totally went in the crapper.... point being: the guy's not hurting for cash, either.
     
    There are many (mostly in the "salesfan" crowd) who are wishing for Jericho to go to TNA. Me? Well, I have my reasons for hoping he doesn't (mostly related to how the TNA product is a lot more than one person away from becoming a relevant competitor to WWE when it comes to deserving my time and attention, and so I'd rather have Jericho come back to the show that I follow a bit more loyally and enthusiastically)... but I also tend to think that unless Jericho's really misleading folks, he DOES figure to return to WWE, given the current buzz. Everybody seems to suspect that Jericho will work out the numbers with WWE later this year, and come on back around January ready to go for another 3 years. Then again: who knows how the little vacation will go? If Jericho decides he likes family and pretending to have a rock band better than he likes wrestling, suddenly working 2 days a month for TNA and having the rest of his time to do what he wants might look more attractive. It might just come down to an issue of financial security: can TNA offer a monetary deal commensurate with Jericho's ability/drawing power? And can TNA offer him a workplace that will actually still exist (and thus, paychecks that will actually still exist) in 3 years, like WWE can?
     
    But if you're somebody dumb enough to bet on wrestling: put your money on some new twist on the "Y2J Countdown" being a major focal point of the 2006 Royal Rumble Match. Just my current hunch.
     
  • One guy TNA will have at their disposal later this year: Kevin Nash. Word is that Nash will be a huge part of the SpikeTV kick-off for "Impact" and at the very least will work a couple PPVs this fall/winter now that he's (a) healthy and (b) done shooting some movie over in Asia.
     
    TNA does crave a few more big names to help them re-launch their TV in October, and is also pretty much holding off on any significant storylines or angles until then... they are, instead, content to do one more money-losing PPV, where they placate the loyal, hardcore audience of workrate fans (which they definitely did with their last PPV). And then the idea is that they'll get back to putting on a more well-rounded and entertaining-in-the-mainstream-kind-of-way show once they're actually back on TV.
     
    Nash'll be a big part of that. TNA had also had designs on Bret Hart showing up in some capacity, but that's now a completely dead issue given the arrangement made between Bret and WWE. If Bret shows up on TV, it'll be on WWE TV this fall to pimp his DVD set. A guy like Sting has been a pretty good friend to TNA over the years and might be a more realistic bet for an infusion of star power. And nobody's quite sure yet what the Dudleys will do, but if they're willing to go back to working a high-risk stunt-based style of matches, they'd not only bring their own star power to TNA, but they might be able to finally lend some gravitas to TNA's talented-but-generically-forgettable roster of tag teams; a series with the Dudleys might finally give me a reason to remember the names of the tools on Team Canada, or which Natural is which. [Which makes it all the more confusing that WWE wouldn't bend over backwards to keep the Dudleys around so they could have matches/feuds that might, one day, result in me knowing which Heartthrob is which or being able to recognize-by-name a member of MNM other than Melina.]
     
    We'll see how it goes, but for now: Nash is pretty much a mortal lock, and there should probably be more big names coming in the next 6 weeks.
     
  • WWE.com is hyping the return of the weekly Jim Ross Report on Friday. Yippee?
     
    At this point, I'll wait till I see the first one, but the site's schizophrenia is a real thing, and gives me a legitimate reason to have some concerns over just how much value JR's column will have. Remember: he got axed from the site a few years ago for a reason, and Kevin Kelly's vision of "Byte This" was terminated for a reason, and most of those reasons are still in evidence at WWE.com in any number of in-character "interviews," and misleading out-of-date Brock Lesnar "shork/woot" storylines and stuff like that.
     
    But alongside that annoying patronizing content? WWE.com has periodically been pretty straightforward about who's been hired/fired and stuff like that, too. 
     
    So there's at least reason to check out the new Ross Report, I guess. And I still think that if WWE wants to do a real "smart" website and bilk those fans out of a few bucks with a presentation that is honest, but which avoids the pitiable pratfalls of most "insider" websites which create entirely the wrong kind of "smart fan," then there's another job they oughta call me up about filling.
     
  • Speaking of "insider" websites that do really dumb things and encourage all the wrong sorts of behavior in so-called "smart fans"....
     
    If you went to a website in the past 2 days and saw a headline "SmackDown Undergoing Major Name Change!" and actually clicked the link, then (a) you're visiting exactly the kind of shitty "we'll turn any pointless item into a Shocking Headline" website I'm talking about, and (b) you probably don't care, because it's not like this is the first time this has happened and yet you're naive enough to keep on clicking those stupid links thinking there will, one day, be something worthwhile on the next page. Suckers.
     
    For the record: SmackDown's "name change"? There fucking isn't one. There really isn't. The show is moving to Fridays in 3 weeks. And bottom line: it's still gonna be called "SmackDown!" here at OO and just about everywhere else. That's all I have to say about that. 
     
    So PLEASE, quit e-mailing me/asking about it/forwarding me links to press releases/etc.... I can only assume you think it's a "story" because other wrestling sites are treating it as one. But it isn't. Really.
     
  • Another non-story that people keep e-mailing me about? Well, actually, you know what? Let me take a wild guess at how THEY would turn it into a clickable headline:
     
    "Former WCW Superstar Arrested for Heading Up Prostitution Ring"? Is that pretty close? And if so, were you dumb enough to click it?
     
    I'm betting you were massively disappointed, because sadly, the real story is:
     
    "Former WCW jobber you never heard of is allegedly a dick who gives young girls a place to live, but then sometimes pimps them out to earn their rent. But why would you care about that?"
     
    See: not a wrestling story. At least, not one that I think in any way adds to your fandom or incresaes your enjoyment or understanding of the bidness. Which is the only kind of news and analysis that I think belongs on a wrestling site.
     
    If my HONEST version of the story really has tickled your fancy? Well, sorry, I didn't mean for it to. But if you want to read up, I'd suggest the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's website as the best place to get articles about it. AJC links seem to make up 90% of the e-mail pointers I'm getting from folks.
     
  • I guess there's one other large subset of e-mail I need to quickly address here today...
     
    And no, I'm not talking about the 20-something people who earnestly asked "I didn't know Chris Masters' middle initial was F. What's it stand for?"... oh, how I pity you. I try to work clean, even if just for one week, and I end up confusing scores of you, instead? Have I underestimated my audience?
     
    Actually, I'm talking about a dozen or so folks who appear to have caught me in a fib. I mentioned how WWE ripped me off by having Snitsky do the "Five Little Piggies" deal after I'd come up with a very clever Bold Section Header for the last time his Foot Fetish was in evidence ("And THIS Little Snitsky Needs to Go Wee-Wee-Wee All the Way Back to Heat," was the line). Problem was, some of the rest of you either remembered that line as fondly as I did, or were just nosy sumbitches who wanted to double-check that I wasn't making this up.... and it turns out that the line I took credit for was in a RAW Recap written by Erin
     
    I'd say, "Looks like I picked the wrong column to pre-ramble about my Upstanding Honesty," but, well... there's a perfectly good explanation for this. I won't deny the simple facts that have been thrown in my face, but I think I can pretty well dismiss just about every harebrained theory/accusation lobbed my way over why I say what I said. Put most simply: that recap was Erin's, but that line *was* mine, and she'd tell you the same thing. Und zat is all ze people need to know. Freaking nosy bastards...
     
    Copasetic? Good, then let's move on...
     
  • To another OO Staffer, one whom I've been lapse in mentioning the last couple columns since I got back from vacation...
     
    For the Canadian Bulldog kindly got me a copy of "Thanks for the Compliment!!!" (don't pretend like you don't remember hearing about it), which I finally got to read while criss-crossing this great nation of ours. And which I can now throw my own miniscule promotional weight behind.
     
    You should, obviously, be familiar with Bulldog's "Letters From a Nut" series, as they have appeared in column form. They are some of my favorite columns from the past 12 months. Hell, they've even gotten *me* in trouble on one or two occasions, because people somehow think *I* should be held responsible for Bulldog making them look stupid. And I couldn't be happier to e-mail back saying, "Hey, it's your fault for falling for it, and plus: I DON'T EVEN KNOW BULLDOG'S REAL NAME, so if you think I'm somehow his keeper, you got it all wrong, Jesus Aguilera! Or possibly Jesus Aguilera's Webmaster! I forget which of you was the dimbulb in that case!". Good times, good times.
     
    So you should also, obviously, crave having all these letters to wrestling superstars (and semi-stars) -- along with their responses back to Bulldog where applicable -- collected into one handsome volume. As an added bonus? Several never before seen letters. Also: full illustrations, many of which have not appeared on OO. And I'm still trying to figure out if we need to take up a collection to have Jeb Lund institutionalized or not after reading his exclusive Foreword to the book.
     
    In other words: you have tons and tons of PROVEN gOOdness, finally collected all in one place. And you have tons of NEW gOOdness that you've never seen before, but which I'm vouching for. Why wouldn't you Buy The Book? Huh? Why not?
     
  • And if I'm doing the selfless act of pimping out Bulldog's fine compilation, then I figure I've built up enough good karma to do the selfish act of pimping out the website that helped in some small way to make Bulldog's book possible.
     
    That's right: this is a closing bullet point reminding you that the OO Pledge Drive is currently on-going (6-8 weeks earlier than usual, since I got sick of people using "need to save money for the holidays" as their reason not to donate)... this is the part of the year where we make sure the coffers get all fat and bloated so that we can keep the site running smoothly (and WITHOUT charging a subscription fee or going overboard with advertising).
     
    You have all kinds of options for using credit card, your checking account, or PayPal account to make a virtual transaction using Amazon or PayPal (note: OO's preference now is PayPal, since they don't take a percentage of your donation for themselves, and you now DON'T need a PayPal account to make a credit card payment on their site). And if that makes you uncomfortable, there's the option of submitting a donation via the US Mails. All the information you need is on the OO Pledge Drive page.
     
    Thanks in advance to all.


  
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
 
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!
 
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
 
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
 
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
 
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
 
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!
 
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
 
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over
 
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
 
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
 
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
 
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo
 
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
 
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome
 
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?
 
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power
 
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
 
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
 
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
 
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
 
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
 
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!
 
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
 
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
 
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

 
 
E-MAIL RICK SCAIA

BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

 

 

 


All contents are Copyright 1995-2014 by OOWrestling.com.  All rights reserved.
This website is not affiliated with WWE or any other professional wrestling organization.  Privacy Statement.