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ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
Final Touches on the WM22 Line-Up,
Ratings, Batista The Heel, Lots More... 
March 24, 2006

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

College hoops is officially dead to me, now. Thank god that my handful of Fantasy Baseball drafts kick in next week, so I can start refocusing my energy.
  

Well, maybe not QUITE that fast. Even though my bracket is thoroughly busted after last night and there's nobody left to cheer for (or against, really), there are some interesting comings and goings in the college hoops world. Or at least, in the corner of it that I occupy.

Going: Coach Mike Davis at Indiana, and more pleased I couldn't be. I have

no stomach for whiny bitches.

Coming: a new coach at IU who will hopefully put things right. And I'm mildly optimistic they'll choose wisely. Hell, if Steve Alford is already off their list, they're moving in the right direction. Oh, and that thing about me and whiny bitches? Precisely why I hope the rumors about Thad Matta being on IU's short list are false, too...

Going: two of the University of Dayton's three least-productive scholarship players. Transferring away to other schools where they can get more playing time, so go the rumors. One's going to a Division II school in Kentucky. The other is going to South Florida, which I would have assumed was a D-II school up until a few months ago when I kept seeing them getting throttled by Big East teams on the ESPN Ticker. I thought the Big East Mandate to play shitty school only counted for November and December, so I was confused till somebody told me Southern Florida really is in the Big East, for reasons nobody in the room at the time could explain. Which I mention only because I've spent the last two days since the announcement glibly pointing out that the transfer of Chris Alvarez from Dayton to South Florida in search of more playing time is proof positive that the talent-rich Atlantic 10 Powerhouse that is UD is singlehandedly keeping the pathetic, depleted Big East conference stocked with its sloppy seconds who can't earn the minutes here. Enjoy, suckers!

Coming: to replace the two transfers, the ideal situation would be one JUCO big man this fall, and then just save back the other scholarship for 2007. Nothing fancy or mind-blowing, but when you're replacing two of your three least-productive players, you don't have to do anything fancy or mind-blowing to get a mild upgrade.

Going: this Pre-Ramble.

Coming: some weekend wrestling columnizing. Starting now:

  • With the past week of mostly-underwhelming WWE TV, the WrestleMania 22 line-up is set. And wonder of wonders: the 11-match card is the exact one I pre-saged in a column about 2 weeks ago.
     
    The only difference is that there isn't a Cruiserweight Throwaway Match on the card. Because Shane Helms wound up needing surgery for that broken nose he suffered overseas. His TV match against Benoit 2 weeks ago was his last for a while, and he might miss as much as 6 more weeks, according to some sources. Or he could be back a tad sooner, with a facemask. Oh, the irony.
     
    Anyway, between Saturday Night's Main Event and RAW, they fabricated the flimsy excuses for the last slate of WM matches. Anybody anxiously awaiting Booker T vs. Boogeyman or a "Playboy Pillow Fight," please raise your hands. And then stand by while our helpful OO Dumb Police converge on your location and administer the lethal injection.
     
    The only hole left in the WM line-up is the final SD! entry in the Money in the Bank match. I don't think it would count as a spoiler if I told you that on tonight's show, WWE will do precisely the expected, and it won't exactly help the match's prospects out, since SD! is still fielding a grand total of zero (0) credible potential winners. Getting Booker T in there would really have helped solve that problem, but no-oooo, he's gotta stink it up with the Boogeyman, instead. At this point, MitB would honestly have been better served as a 6-man All-RAW match. You could get Carlito in there (hell, the match was his idea). Although CFM sucks balls, you know that where Carlito goes, Chris F. Masters probably follows. And for #6: how the hell about getting Chavo Guerrero a spot on the show, dammit. Especially one like MitB, where he could really shine.
     
    That would leave Big Show and Kane with nothing to do, but they're perfect for some kind of crowd-pleasing squash-a-thon against whatever chumpy team(s) you want to throw at them... it wouldn't have to be a big drawing card, but as long as it's less than 5 minutes and has a happy ending, it'd serve a purpose on the 4-hour WM telecast (just as a little palate cleanser).
     
    SD! guys like Hardy, Finlay, Lashley, and Booker T could easily be brought together for some kind of fancy gimmick match of their own, kind of like Teddy Long's answer to MitB. I'd even say throw JBL and Benoit in the mix, to hide the fact that JBL vs. Benoit is a crap-ass storyline not worthy of the US Title, and make the match be for the US Title. This is killing, like, three birds with one stone here: you fix MitB, you mask the fact that JBL/Benoit has absolutely no sizzle to it, and you give SD!'s undercarders like Hardy/Finlay/Lashley something worthwhile to do. Hell, FOUR birds: you save Booker T from the Boogeyman horseshit.
     
    But who am I to second guess WWE at this late juncture and come up with better ideas than them off the top of my head on a Friday afternoon when they no doubt spent weeks slaving over this WM line-up? I gather the proper Internet Sentiment at this point is to say "Well, you have to give WWE some leeway, since they had Eddie's death and injuries affect their original WM plans." But you know OO: we mock Internet Sentiment and the vast majority of Internet Wankers Who Spend Too Much Time With Their Heads Up Their Own Asses Instead of Existing Out In The Everyday Normal World. That "sentiment" might count as a partial explanation, but it's no "excuse." Not when you have supposedly-intelligent and talented people who get paid to have good ideas. If they truly deserve their jobs, then it shouldn't have been a big fucking deal to come up with NEW good ideas when the original good ideas were torpedoed. They have not done this. And keep in mind: you're all being very charitable if you just ASSUME that the original ideas they had were all good. [Yes, we can assume Batista vs. Eddie would have been sweet, but beyond that, what gives you any reason to believe the Original WM Plans from November would have been any better than what we're getting now?]
     
    I guess this is all my way of saying, "We're 9 days away from WM, and it appears as though WWE's done everything it's going to do." Does it feel like WrestleMania to anyone else? Cuz I'm not really getting that tingle, yet. Sure, it'll probably end up being a show where most matches turn out good or better, but the thing that Good Wrestling does is it makes you CARE about seeing those matches, which in turn takes those matches from being "good" in the Meltzer/notepad/star-rating kind of way to being "good" in the drink-some-beers/get- excited-for-the-show/mark-out-and-cheer-for-four-hours kind of way. The first way is how you appreciate paintings: you couldn't care less if you go see them, but you'll end up getting dragged along at some point, so you try to be respectful and discerning by "appreciating" them before you doze off out of boredom or go looking for the paintings of naked chicks. The second way is how you actually have fun by getting stoked for a spectacle that nobody had to drag you to because you've been waiting for it for MONTHS.
     
    Well, there's still a week to go. Maybe WWE will hit the jackpot. Or maybe they'll get lucky another way, and my WM Enthusiasm Gene will kick in, instinctively, as it pretty much has every year since WM3 was my first WM. It's not just a matter of not missing one since... it's a matter of always ending up feeling pretty stoked by the time the show was upon us. Even WM13. I'm such a mark, eh?
     
  • Continuing to fill out the WM line-up and weekend festivities, we've got some more info....
     
    First, the Hall of Fame Class of 2006 is finalized. In the coming week, William "Refrigerator" Perry will be announced as going into the "Celebrity Wing" of the Hall, while Tony Atlas will be the final real inductee.
     
    I have no clue how Fridge can be inducted ahead of countless other celebs who did more than him. One Mania appearance, eliminated in the middle of the Battle Royale, and that was it. But hey, we're back in Chicago, and Chicago will no doubt loves them Da Bears. Even Ex-Da Bears. But I'm still sort of in protest that they'd put Fridge in before Mr. T (who also has Chicago ties, I believe). The only way WWE can save this one in my eyes: No less than DITKA must show up to induct the Fridge.
     
    Atlas is a dubious choice if you base things solely on his WWF resume (where as far as I know, his only claim to fame was winning the tag titles with Rocky Johnson -- the Rock's dad -- and being the first black dudes to do so). Outside of the WWF -- which is history that WWE mostly owns now, anyway -- I gather Atlas had a bit more storied career. I do remember, back when I was 12 and though that PWI Magazines were making me smart and right after Andre "pinned" Hogan in the Twin Hebner controversy, I read that prior to that, the only man to ever pin Hulk Hogan was Tony Atlas (presumably not in the WWF, and also presumably a pretty big lie). The memory stuck with me though, and I'm sure Atlas did more than just win one WWF Tag Title to justify his inclusion in the Hall.
     
  • There will be Musical Entertainment at Mania....
     
    One of Destiny's Child will belt out "America the Beautiful" to kick off the show (it's one who isn't Beyonce, and who thus I cannot be trusted to remember the name of, because frankly, I adhere to the law that says that once you turn 21 and/or develop taste in music, you can no longer possess that much detailed information about Destiny's Child; either that, or I know I'd lose credibility with the Cool Kids if I admitted I knew the girl's name; you decide). 
     
    And P.O.D. will be on hand, allegedly representing Rock 'n' Roll (and failing miserably at it). WWE used a track of theirs for the SNME theme song, and I think they might be one of the planned WM Theme Songs, too. And they are also responsible for Rey Mysterio's crappy new theme. Which means you can probably pencil them in for stinking up the joint with two separate tracks at the PPV (one stand-alone song, and once playing Rey to the ring).
     
    How many times does WWE have to bring live bands to WM who end up being ignored or booed before they realize: IT'S NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE UNLESS YOU CAN GET AN ACTUALLY GOOD BAND THAT EVERYBODY LIKES. To get a wrestling audience at a wrestling show to appreciate a rock band, you pretty much would have to get a superstar act (of which there are maybe a half-dozen of in the world, anyway). Not some crap-ass act who'll have 1500 fans in the audience, and then 15,000 people who honestly wouldn't give a shit if P.O.D. got collectively run over by a bus. Booking a middle-tier rock band doesn't make WM look more like a "mainstream spectacle." It makes it look like a medium-sized show at a 5000-club/seat theater. And on top of that, it just pisses off the wrestling fans who paid for the tickets to begin with.
     
    I say all this as a fan and supporter of live music. More people should go out once or twice a week and drop a $5 or $6 cover charge on some relatively unknown out-of-town band. Maybe they'll be good, maybe they'll suck, but that's part of the adventure and it's what you paid for and the show's usually done by 1am so you can go find some other fun afterwards no matter how bad they were. Plus, you usually get one local/regional act on the bill who -- even if you've seen them 3 dozen times and have been to enough parties with them to know which 70% of them are the phenomenal dickheads -- are pretty decent. And if you're me, you still get band prices on drinks all over town even as your Rock Star star wanes. Live rock is good! But dropping $5 on a night of rock that may or may not kick ass is a far cry from if I spent $80 on a WrestleMania ticket, and then -- out of the blue in the middle of my wrestling -- was subjected to a band I knew ahead of time sucked ass. Oy.
     
  • FYI: The Hall of Fame thing is just gonna be a taped 1-hour highlights show on USA Network next Saturday night. It'll air at 11pm. You know they'll get both the Eddie and Bret inductions in there. And -- though it strikes me as a horribly mis-prioritization -- they'll probably try to squeeze Gene Okerlund into the broadcast, too, since they're dusting off Hogan to induct him.
     
    Or maybe that won't be too much of a time crunch. Not to be an asshole or anything, but it's not exactly like Eddie's gonna need a whole lot of time to give a speech....
     
    Last year, SpikeTV gave WWE room to run a little late on the HoF telecast, so as a Spokesman for DVR Owners Everywhere, let me suggest you do like I will and tell your device to record for an extra 5 or 10 minutes in your absence. Just in case.
     
  • Another FYI: after a week of listing "Impact" in an alternate timeslot for next week, Spike has them back on Saturday night, head-to-head with the WWE HoF special at 11pm.
     
    'Atta boy, TNA. For one, yes, you will get beat in the ratings, but it's not like you have to be worried about getting beaten too badly. Losing 1.2 to 0.7 isn't exactly the sort of demoralizing spanking you need to be worried about. And secondly, it really will be an interesting little experiment to see what happens to TNA's ratings in a head-to-head showdown with WWE; we'll see just how much of a cross-over audience there is (which is more interesting to me than finding out which show the members of that cross-over audience pick).
     
    My guess is that TNA might discover that they don't lose hardly any viewers at all to WWE, since the audiences are a bit more distinct than one might assume. Whether that is a happy story for TNA (we have our own audience!) or a sad one (we do not appeal to the much larger audience of normal/casual wrestling fans) is an issue for another time....
     
    A third reason why I think it's better for TNA to just nut up and take their medicine by going head-to-head? Simple... I believe they have another set of TV tapings next week, which gives them the chance to tape something big, which they can then hype, and which MIGHT attract a few fence-sitting viewers to TNA and away from the HoF.
     
    And by "big," I don't mean any stupid horseshit like Ozzie Guillen delivering a chairshot on Simon Dean which could be charitably described as "Pretty much as gay-looking as Shaq's on Carlito." I mean something "good." A free-per-view caliber match, for instance. Just no more acting like the White Sox crap has any real pop culture relevance, and no more of Alex Shelley's Shaky Cam which is getting on my nerves the more they try to use something that lame as the basis for supposedly major angles.
     
  • On the issue of ratings: Impact last week was back up to its typical average of a 0.8 after almost a month of 0.7s. I suppose that's good news, but as I've outlined many times before: Nielsen's data collection is such that it's hard to put much credence behind one-week fluctuations of one-tenth. You need to stay more focused on trends that repeat.
     
  • RAW got some good news, too, bouncing up to either a 4.2 or 4.3 rating this week. I forget what my message said, and I'm in a rush right now, and I'm passing the savings on to you.
     
    This is a week where I'm honestly at a loss. Not even my Big Brain can formulate a theory for why ratings would be up for Monday's show. It wasn't really that good, and more importantly: there was not a single match/angle announced beforehand, which is USUALLY the driving force behind RAW's rating. 
     
    Is it possible that this was almost a "PPV Bump" effect? People knew SNME happened, but not very many of them bothered to watch, but they wanted to check in on RAW to find out what happened? Is that possible? And if so, what's it say about WWE's ability to convince an audience to check out their return to Network TV?
     
  • Speaking of SNME, I got a kick out of RAW when they went out of their way about 3 times to mention that SNME is coming back in July. There were obviously rumors going around to that effect already (which we talked about a week ago), but WWE rushing to put the news on TV made me chuckle.... it kind of stank of "Hey, we just did our first SNME in 13 years and it tanked badly. But don't pay attention to those ratings, because it turns out it went so well that we're bringing SNME back.  Four months from now. Which makes this a pretty silly thing to hype now. Except for how we can totally make sure you know that SNME was a ROUSING SUCCESS and it's coming back. YEAH~!"
     
    July 15, I believe, is the official date. In Dallas. And despite the stinky ratings, all indications are that NBC will still air the special in prime time, and not boot it back to the late night SNL slot.
     
  • WWE.com has confirmed another of the "Who Cares?" Comebacks. Test has agreed to terms, joining Chuck Palumbo and Shannon Moore as confirmed returnees. [FYI: Kevin Fertig joins the list of heavily-rumored returnees that we talked about last week. You might remember him as "Mordecai." Or actually, you might not, and you'd be better off for it. But take my word, Fertig was better than that shitty gimmick, and size/look-wise always struck me as kind of Batista Lite (same frame, but Fertig never quick bulked up the same way), except he was always ahead of Batista, workrate-wise. But after the Mordecai make-over flopped, WWE just cut the guy loose.]
     
    Speaking of "bulking up," Test has done some of that since we last saw him in WWE. Charlie Haas has, too, just a bit (and from what I've seen in OVW, not necessarily to his benefit, speed and crispness-wise).
     
    So far, WWE's just stockpiling these guys, and there's no word on how or when they'll return to TV.
     
  • On the fast-track to TV is Mike Mizanan, a Tough Enough Loser who's been training with WWE for the past year. He just dropped the OVW tag titles, and already has vignettes on SD! hyping his debut with a new gimmick: a Reality Show Guy.
     
    Holy christ. I mean, it fits: not only was The Miz on Tough Enough, but I gather he was on "The Real World" or "Road Rules" or something before that. But the guy already exudes a mincing douchebag bitch-slappability, and WWE wants to saddle him with this gimmick? Either play it to the hilt and let him be a heel, or watch as the teenage fangirls squeal and WWE has yet another tosser who makes the other 90% of the crowd go mild.
     
    It's also telling that if I was doing the scouting in terms of who WWE should be looking into calling up, Miz would MAYBE be in my middle third. But you know the mantra: you don't get called up until Creative "has a spot for you." And how very creative of Creative to give the toolbox from a reality TV show the gimmick of being from a Reality TV Show? Isn't it exciting to get an inside glimpse at how WWE makes such important roster decisions?
     
  • Gone from the roster is Rosey, the erstwhile Super Hero In Training. One can only assume that the next contract roll-over that comes up will also spell the end for Jamal, who re-signed with WWE a couple months back with the intent of re-forming Three Minute Warning.
     
  • It's been confirmed that Diva Search Ashley has signed a contract extension that'll keep her in WWE after her bloated Diva Search Contract expires.
     
    Just like Christy Hemme did. ZING~!
     
  • WWE conducted its first round of mandatory drug tests at Monday's Supershow Taping. 
     
    Just because I find it semi-humorous, I'll mention that WWE's Drug Testing Program will use these test results as a baseline. Nobody can be punished or sanctioned for any drugs in their systems. Future tests will be administered randomly, and you can STILL have performance-enhancing or recreational drugs in your system and NOT BE PUNISHED. As long as there is LESS of the substance in your system versus your "baseline."
     
    Seems a pretty spineless way of enforcing a system ("don't stop using, and don't go get help, now.... just sort of wean yourself over the next couple of years, and our testing shouldn't get you in any trouble"), but it's better than nothing.
     
    Also, to be a bit serious, I gather there is a clause that allows need-based testing if a guy is suspected of abusing a substance, and WWE will be very aggressive about going after anybody who's usage really does seem to threaten their ability to work or their health. 
     
  • WWE is the latest corporate entity to go bitching and moaning to YouTube and similar video-sharing services, demanding that any of their materials be pulled down.
     
    For those unawares, YouTube is a deal where anybody can post and "share" a videoclip that they think is funny or interesting or good. About a month ago, NBC led the charge to get them to take down all NBC-owned material, and other networks followed. Now, WWE is doing the same.
     
    And I know this is counter-intuitive, but I'd just like to declare that NBC and WWE and everybody else are retarded for doing so. Yes, it's your copyrighted material, and in theory you should try to protect it.
     
    But in practice, you have to relax and roll with the punches, because you will benefit more from allowing a certain amount of "theft" than you will by stopping web users from sharing your clips.
     
    Bottom line fact: Andy Fucking Samberg would still be a nobody if not for Copyright Infringement. I guaran-damn-tee that. But because a few people were stunned to see a mildly-funny skit on SNL one night a few months back, and shared it with friends on YouTube, who were also stunned that SNL could muster 3 consecutive minutes of not being pitiably-bad and shared it with more friends, who shared it again... now, Andy Samberg can make essentially the same skit every other week, and as long as he has Natalie Portman swearing like a sailor in it, people will be convinced of his creative genius. NBC and SNL: you weren't the victim of Copyright Infringement. You were handed a Gigantic Present.
     
    Andy Samberg's thingie is a specific example, but just using a bit of creative thinking, it doesn't take a huge leap of logic to apply this across the board. Because if NBC and WWE put a stop to this practice, they are essentially putting a stop to their fans/viewers telling them what they like. Which, in my stupid little brain, is information that any company would love to have. That they PAY to have. And here, YouTube and its millions of patrons are GIVING IT AWAY FOR FREE.
     
    Now, WWE is trying to make more and more clips available on their site, and NBC is really pushing the same thing through their site. But guess what? Pop culture doesn't work that way, dum dums. You don't tell us what's cool. We, the home viewers, decide what's cool and share it with friends and that's how it gets even cooler. Well, maybe not "cool," but "popular" at least. Remember: I draw a distinction between the two. "Cool" is what stands the test of time, while "popular" is what you laugh at five years later on VH-1 documentaries.
     
    It's a virtual impossibility that NBC could ever say, "The preceding skit is now available for download on NBC.com" and have it become a national mini-phenomenon. They could try all night and day, and just because they decide they want to try to emulate that success doesn't mean it would ever happen. Stuff like that happens when WE decide to make it happen. And when there are outlets like YouTube to make it happen.
     
    Same exact deal with WWE, who could fucking use the free marketing research. Instead of ordering YouTube to take down WWE clips, why not put somebody in charge of monitoring what's getting posted to YouTube, and which clips are getting viewed and shared most often, and then use that data to report back to the Writer Monkeys about what fans Actually Like? It's free fucking data, and it's GUARANTEED ACCURATE (unless people are all masochists who go around sharing and watching clips that they hate). Which is more than we can say for the accuracy of Vince McMahon's image of what we apparently want.
     
    Obviously, there's a limit here, and I think that corporations should be able to protect their material in cases where they will suffer actual financial harm from the theft. You shouldn't be allowed to put entire NBC shows or entire WWE PPVs up on YouTube. Those are revenue generating things for those companies. But 15 minute clips? NBC and WWE are never gonna make money off those (they might THINK they will, but trust me, those models will all fail); hell, they might not ever make them available to fans again after the initial broadcast. So what's the harm in letting fans share them, and in the sharing, have your company learn a little more about what your viewers actually like?
     
    It seems like a no-brainer to me (especially if you do some sort of flimsy "licensing deal" with YouTube to give them the permission to keep your clips up, in exchange for some information or data about users who download those clips; not even sharing e-mail addresses or anything, but just cross-referencing who downloads WWE clips with who downloads other things, and then being able to share that data with advertisers and potential advertisers would be hugely helpful). 
     
    But these companies are hyper-reactive and protective of their "intellectual property," convinced that if they work hard enough, they can put the file-sharing genie back in the bottle. Instead of doing that, morons, why not just leave the genie be, and let it grant you a wish or three. If you get your heads out of your asses, there are very sensible ways in which Us Theives can share your copyrighted material for free and you still gain. It's 2006, folks, start corporate stratagizing like it!
     
    Then again, with WWE, the last thing I should be is surprised at this move. Never has there been a company more afraid of actually finding out what their fans want, and more committed to telling them what they want. This move definitely fits in seamlessly with their overall business plan.
     
  • It's looking like Ken Kennedy will be good to go before May 1, which means he and Batista are about on the same time-table. Both should really help SmackDown! out, roster-wise.
     
    Though I do foresee a bit of a problem: SD! is already very babyface-heavy. You have four legit main event babyfaces in Angle, Rey, Benoit, and Taker. And you have nothing really balancing that on the heel side: JBL is back where he belongs on the midcard (where he won't be asked to try to deliver main event caliber in-ring performances)... Randy Orton is, well, Randy Orton, complete with all the accompanying lack of "It" that makes it hard for him to connect meaningfully with an audience... and Booker T COULD move on up, but has instead been moved on down by the creative team.
     
    Kennedy -- unless something is done -- is almost a lock to be a de facto babyface when he comes back. And Batista? Duh. Could get a bit messy.
     
    My proposal: a slow-burn Batista heel turn when he comes back. Do NOT give the World Title to Orton at Mania. Give it to Rey. Have Batista come back, and remind us that his promise the night he gave up the title was that he'd come back and reclaim it. Start a good-natured title feud between Rey and Batista; weave in VERY SUBTLE Eddie elements, not in a cheap way, but to sort of remind us of Eddie and Batista's last storyline.... and then, over the summer, you have Batista act out the role that Eddie almost certainly would have done to him: slowly turning on his friend until a violent flare-up in which Batista brutalizes Rey and takes "his" title back. Rey's even good for 2-3 months of re-matches if you do it right. Batista might take a while to get fully comfortable in Heel Mode, but the beauty of this is that Rey's such a strong babyface that he'd easily smooth Batista's transition and make sure the fan reactions were there for him.
     
    Added bonus: Batista could eventually make friends with Orton again, and whether you call it Evolution or not, Orton's still gonna be better being somebody's lieutenant than being out on his own at this point. Let him find his "It" without the pressure of also being in main events.
     
    Added Added Bonus: with Angle and Benoit on the babyface side, you have talented guys who can CONTINUE to make Batista look good after the Rey feud. Either would be a compelling challenger, and either would have good-to-great matches against Batista, which will help establish him in a way that shitty matches against JBL didn't do last summer. 

    Added Added Added Bonus: Batista recently did an interview in which he said one of his Dream Feuds would be against the Undertaker, since he thinks their styles would work well together. Well, heel Batista on a non-stop rampage after savaging Poor Rey and Angle and Benoit would practically be BEGGING for the Undertaker to show up and try to learn him a lesson in respect at some point.
     
    What do you think?
     
  • That's all I got for today, folks. Enjoy your weekends, and do it for the Rick, who still can't bring it at full capacity his own self and is starting to go a bit stir crazy. I always thought I was good at keeping myself amused... but that was apparently only true when I could go out 3 or 4 times per week, and even if I didn't really end up finding anything r anybody to amuse me, I could always stagger home with a buzz on, and THAT must be when I was good at keeping myself amused. Drunk, all my CDs sound better. Drunk, I'm an awesome guitar player. Drunk, I don't need anything more than my porch some halfway decent weather to amuse me.
     
    But sober and still recuperating, I end up plopping down and channel surfing come midnight or so. And even though I can sense it making me stupider, it feels like it's the only thing to do. It makes me wonder how anybody with an operational brain can watch more than a couple hours of TV in a given day. Not counting sporting events. Because last Thursday and Friday, I think I watched 12 hours of basketball each day, easily.
     
    Anyway, I think I'll see you again on Sunday evening. I liked how that worked out last weekend. Gives me kind of a Monday break to charge the batteries to slog through a recap, and keeps me from having to sit here and slave over this hot keyboard on back-to-back afternoons, too.
     
    Later on, kids....


  
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
 
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!
 
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
 
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
 
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
 
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
 
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!
 
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
 
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over
 
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
 
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
 
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
 
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo
 
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
 
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome
 
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?
 
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power
 
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
 
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
 
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
 
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
 
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
 
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!
 
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
 
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
 
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

 
 
E-MAIL RICK SCAIA

BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

 

 

 


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