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ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
QUICK AND DIRTY NEWSFLASH:
Edge Injured, Benoit Toxicology 
July 17, 2007

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

I'll have more depth/analysis of these stories in a full-length OO column tomorrow....
 

But for now, there are two major stories that need to be quickly addressed for wrestling fans.

First is something I dreaded last night when they hyped a Friday night "Major Announcement" from Edge during RAW. Edge had been downplaying a legit injury over the weekend, and my first thought when WWE plugged the 

Announcement was "Ah, crap, this can't be good news."

I was right.

Edge is going to be out of action for an as-yet-undetermined amount of time, and will be vacating the World Heavyweight Championship at TV tapings tonight.

As of this 2pm (eastern) writing, not even WWE is sure what they're going to do about the title situation later tonight. Plans are still in a state of flux. Obviously, the recent Draft depleted SmackDown!'s already-thin roster. With Edge as the heel champ, they were going to skate by on a few title shots for the proven Batista, and then Kane, and finally the returning Rey Mysterio, before the Undertaker returned and supplied Edge with a serious title threat. 

Now, without Edge, Kane's not quite as solid without a top level opponent, leaving Batista and Rey as viable alternatives and a grand total of ZERO bankable heels. Khali and Mark Henry are SD!'s best in-house options, and both demonstrably and objectively suck.

There is talk of actually crowning a new champion as soon as tonight's tapings, but to me it makes more sense to go slow. If Edge's announcement is so "major" and surprising, there is no reason for SD! to already have a plan in place to fill the slot. You can actually play up the impact of Edge's injury and announcement by going slower, emphasizing the confusion and chaos this has caused, and leaving the title vacant for a while. The joint-brand PPVs also help in this regard, as SD!'s main event situation can be masked by matches from RAW and ECW for at least one PPV, if necessary.

Of course, the fact that I think going slower is better means that WWE's Writer Monkeys will just hotshot somebody into the championship tonight without much rhyme or reason. The only really compelling option for this? Ken Kennedy, who you'll recall lost his shot at the World Title to Edge when *he* suffered an untimely injury. So at least there'd be something poetically just about Kennedy returning to SD! in order to take advantage of Edge's injury. 

Otherwise? I don't like any of the other available options for a short-term fix. Hotshotting Rey without the right build-up could lead to a duplication of his mind-numbingly-ineptly-scripted frist title reign. Kane and Batista as InstaChamps are both pretty boring and offer few intriguing options. Some are saying Matt Hardy is an option, but they are clearly on some kind of mind-altering drugs (Matt's not even as credible as singles competitor as his brother Jeff is at this point, and Jeff has all the gravitas of Ryan Secrest in a Heterosexuality-Off). And like I said: Khali and Henry are horrifyingly untalented and unentertaining on every measurable level.

So: Kennedy, slow burn, or crap. I fear the third.

The other big news of the day: 

The Georgia Bureau of Investigation has released toxicology results for the Benoit family. And the news is.... mildly surprising.

What could be classified as "good" news -- in so far as it might take the wind out of the sails of the roid rage sensationalists -- is that Benoit only had testosterone (as far as performance enhancing drugs go; no anabolic steroids were found) in his system at the time of death, and it was present in "therapeutic" levels, not elevated ones. This jibes with Dr. Phil Astin's claim that he only legally prescribed testosterone for Benoit, ostensibly to boost testicular function after "past" steroid usage.

Also in Benoit's body: Xanax and Vicodin (hydrocondone), but also at "therapeutic" levels, not elevated ones. 

Where the news gets a bit weird/sad is that both Nancy and Daniel Benoit's bodies also contained Xanax, with Daniel's level of the drug being considered very elevated. Not only is Xanax not prescribed for children (except in rare cases), but there was enough of the drug in his system that authorities are certain Daniel was sedated at the time he was murdered.

Also in Nancy's body were Vicodin and another painkiller, but again: at "therapeutic" levels. There is also a chance that Nancy had been drinking prior to her death, but elevated blood alcohol levels could also have been attributable solely to the level of decomposition once the bodies were found (Nancy had been dead for over 48 hours when the bodies were found, and for some reason, the Benoits weren't running the A/C, despite it being fricking SUMMER in GEORGIA).

Despite some previous rumors, Chris Benoit was not drunk at the time of his suicide. Also: testing on Daniel for HGH or other substances that would have explained his needle-marked body was very limited due to a lack of urine. There is also no available test for "Fragile X" that could be performed on a dead body.

That's all for now. More in a full-length OO in coming days...


  
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E-MAIL RICK SCAIA

BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

 

 

 


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