I am not known for particularly giving a rat's ass what people think!  But with recent events, I am FORCED to attempt to figure out what all you humanoids out there want...  whoops, just kidding!

Actually, now more than ever, I am serious about trying to decide what form -- if any -- my future columns should take.  Pro wrestling ain't a matter of great importance to anyone, but since 1995, it's been something I've written about for an audience, first as a hobby, and then for money.  I kind of got used to the idea of watching the wrestling and then getting to write about it, and I'm not 100% sure I can just walk away now.  I may or may not ever do it again as anything but a hobby (albeit one that I would insist on BREAKING EVEN on, not losing any money), but for it to even be a worthwhile hobby, there's no harm in making sure that whatever I'm doing is something you want, right?  Thus, this poll.

If you're here at onlineonslaught.com, it probably means that some of the answers to these questions are foregone conclusions; I mean, you wouldn't be here if you hated and despised me and wanted me to disappear, right?  But hey, sometimes a guy just wants an ego boost, too...  but there are other questions here about which I honestly need to know what you think.  Send me the answers to the following dozen or so questions in an e-mail to rick@onlineonslaught.com (you can either cut and paste the whole thing and mark your answers somehow, or just fire off a mail with your twelve single letter answers, and leave the rest up to me.  No facist "Must Follow This Format" nonsense like CRZ's Awards!

THE POLL

1.  To get Rick to bring back OO, I would (symbolically speaking) be willing to give him:
          a)  A single watered-down light beer on draft at some shitty dance club, so that he'd go away
          b)  A six pack of Miller High Life
          c)  A fifth of Jim Beam Straight Kentucky Bourbon
          d)  A bottle of 15 Year Old Balvenie Single Malt Scotch Whisky
          z)  Ivory and Trish Stratus for one night

2.  Online Onslaught should:
          a)  Return IMMEDIATELY (say, by November 1), regardless of form
          b)  Return SOON (say, by Survivor Series), taking some time to contemplate options
          c)  Return EVENTUALLY (say, around New Years), with a firm plan in place to do it right
          d)  Ride off into the sunset right now, having gone out "on top"
          z)  Form a "mutually beneficial" partnership with ESPN.com, only to get rammed up the ass 
                    in about two years' time 

3.   Ideally, OO would exist as:
          a)  A semi-regular column on a big time site like 1Wrestling or PWTorch
          b)  A regular column on a site like SlashWrestling, or TheSmarks, or 411Wrestling
          c)  A full-blown independent website (with other old WrestleManiacs, too), with a lot of advertising
          d)  A full-blown site (with other Manics), but with a SMALL subscription fee (I said a SMALL
                    subscription fee...  I'm trying to watch my caloric intake!)
          z)  The home of the web's hottest young teens in filthy hardcore action

4.  Pop-up ads are:
          a)  Nothing more than a nuisance
          b)  Evil, but necessary
          c)  So vile that I have downloaded software to prevent them from popping up
          d)  So utterly heinous that I will never support a site that uses them
          z)  Eventually going to cause me to stab myself in the brain with a letter opener, after going on an 
                    interstate killing spree which will, for some reason, claim only the lives of midgets

5.  Assuming you were to subscribe to a wrestling website, which of the following is the
          most appealing cost structure:

          a)  I will never, EEEEEEEEVER pay for a wrestling website
          b)  One penny per page (US $0.01)
          c)  Six months unlimited access for $5.95 (US dollars)
          d)  One year unlimited access for $9.95 (US dollars)
          z)  A pound of goat cheese for every question correctly answered in "The Rick Says"

6.  How many books, videos, games, CDs, etc. have you purchased ONLINE in the last year?
          a)  Less than $10 worth
          b)  Between $10 and $30 worth
          c)  Between $30-80 worth
          d)  Over $80 worth
          z)  "Goddammit, Scaia, if you're thinking about opening another StoreFront, forget about it right now!"

7.  Which sites other than WrestleLine did/do you regularly visit?
          a)  Major "news-oriented" sites like 1Wrestling, PWTorch, or WrestlingObserver
          b)  Large, more "opinion-oriented" sites like SlashWrestling, TheSmarks, or 411
          c)  Some other fan-site(s) that I'm too pompous to even know the name of
          d)  Some combination of more than one of the above
          z)  "What are you talking about, Rick?  I ONLY visited WrestleLine, cuz it RULED!"

8.  What were your favorite parts about WrestleLine (generally-speaking)?
          a)  Detailed TV recaps by guys like CRZ and Scott Keith
          b)  Opinion/current events columns by just about everyone else
          c)  The picture galleries and title history sections
          d)  Message boards and online chats
          z)  That secret, password-protected area where I let my hair down and openly discussed my years as
                    the disgraced founding genius behind Hansen (I was the oldest brother and played bass!)

9.  My favorite running gag on WrestleLine was:
          a)  The all-knowing Rick having to correct himself on a weekly basis
          b)  The little Tony Schiavone face in Downtown Dave's columns
          c)  Using the word "frick" when you all knew we really meant "fuck"
          d)  La Parka winning multiple WL polls
          z)  "Don't worry, Rick, we're financially solid and will be doing this site for YEARS!  Those checks that
                    are so late they'd make Heyman blush don't mean a thing!"

10.  I used to check out WrestleLine:
          a)  Once a week at best
          b)  1-3 times per week
          c)  4-6 times per week
          d)  At least once per day
          z)  I don't know about you, but I checked out the sexy ass on WrestleLine every time
                    the bitch walked by!

11.  I am spending:
          a)  More time on my wrestling habit (TV, internet, videos, games) than I did a year ago
          b)  The same amount of time on my wrestling habit (TV, internet, videos, games) as I did a year ago
          c)  Less time on my wrestling habit (TV, internet, videos, games) than I did a year ago
          d)  The same amount of time watching TV wrestling, but less time visiting websites or doing
                    other things related to wrestling, as I did one year ago
          e)  The same amount of or more time using the the internet to keep up on wrestling, and less time
                    actually watching it on TV, as I did a year ago

12.   I am:
          a)  Under 18 years old
          b)  18-24 years old
          c)  25-39 years old
          d)  40 years old or more
          z)  Not going to dignify that with a response

Two things:  unless you feel very strongly about the opinion presented in "Z" and simply have to support it in this highly scientific poll, you are encouraged to select one of the more pertinent answers to each of the above questions!  And also:  please, please, please, sign up for my mailing list if you want to be kept abreast of what's going on with OO.  In addition to info about the future of this column, you just might find yourself getting SPECIAL SECRET BONUSES (like the "Lost Episode" of The Rick Says...  or maybe I'll start doing a once-weekly mail-only version of OO...  you won't know till you sign up!).  Go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OnslaughtInfo/ for all the info you need about signing up, now!

Again, pick some way to slap your answers into an e-mail (either some kind of cut and paste deal, or just send me 12 single letters, and I'll figure it out), and fire them off to me at rick@onlineonslaught.com...  I thank you in advance for your help and guidance!


Rick Scaia
rick@onlineonslaught.com