by Adam Gutschmidt 
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Doesn’t seem like I made any errors last week, so let’s hope I can keep it up again this week.  Keep the feedback coming!

Squared Circle of Life Diatribe for WWF Survivor Series 1987

Emanating from the Richfield Coliseum in Richfield, Ohio

Your commentators are Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “the Body” Ventura

- This is the WWF’s first non-Wrestlemania PPV that would become a regular staple in the PPV lineup.  The original format had two teams of 5 facing each other until one team was fully eliminated.  Eliminations occur via pinfalls, countouts, submissions, disqualifications or that ever popular “referee’s decision” that a man can’t continue.

- Craig DeGeorge gets thoughts from Honky about his team’s match tonight.  Honky promises a win and then makes an inappropriate comment to Miss Elizabeth.  There’s no need for that!

- Macho speaks for his team and says it’s Honky who’ll be the bitch tonight.  Well those weren’t his exact words, but that was the basic gist of it.

Opening Match: Macho Man Randy Savage, Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat, Jake “the Snake Roberts, Brutus “the Barber” Beefcake and Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Honky Tonk Man (IC champ), Hercules, King Harley Race, Dangerous Danny Davis and Outlaw Ron Bass

Who would have thought 8 months after their bitter feud that Macho and Steamboat would be on the same team.  Well, a pest like Honky will do that to you.  Hercules and Beefcake start the match with some standard power stuff.  Beefcake gets a quick sleeper on Hercules, but he falls into his corner.  Beefcake then hits the heels with hiptosses as if they were going out of style.  The faces now work on the arm of Davis.  Davis catches Steamboat coming into the corner and is able to tag out.  Race and Steamboat slug it out.  Race tries throwing Steamboat out twice, but Steamboat pulls himself back in each time and then throws Race out.  A belly-to-belly by Race gets 2 on Steamboat.  Steamboat tags Duggan who clotheslines Race to the floor.  Duggan follows him out there and they brawl until both are counted out.  TIED UP 4-4.  Jake and Bass go at it until Bass misses an elbow allowing Jake to tag Macho.  Macho dominates Bass until he decides to give Honky a cheap shot, which allows Bass to comeback.  By the way, this is a Coliseum Video, so most of the matches are clipped.  Macho makes a blind tag to Beefcake who nails Bass from behind and gets the pinfall.  FACES UP 4-3.  Hercules immediately jumps Beefcake and begins to work him over.  We jump over a lengthy Beefcake beatdown session and see him start to make his comeback on Honky.  As Beefcake goes off the ropes Davis knees him.  Honky takes advantage, hits him with a swinging neckbreaker and ends Beefcake’s night.  TIED UP 3-3.  Macho chases after Honky, but gets Hercules instead.  After the heels briefly beat up Macho, he comes back and hits Honky with an elbow and tags Jake.  Jake goes for a DDT but Honky slips out.  Honky boots Jake as he was charging him in the corner.  Quick tags by the heels wear Jake down.  The heels make the mistake though of leaving Davis in there too long, as Jake mounts a comeback and nails him with the DDT to put him away.  FACES UP 3-2.  Hercules comes in and jumps Jake but only gets a 2 count for his work.  Hercules and Honky now begin to double-team Jake.  We cut now to Jake’s comeback, but it’s short lived as Hercules hits him from behind and puts him in a front face lock.  Finally, Jake gets free and tags Steamboat.  Steamboat takes it to both Hercules and Honky.  After bodyslamming Hercules, Steamboat tags Macho, who hits the big elbow and pins him.  FACES UP 3-1.  Faces now take turns beating the stuffing out of Honky and the fans love every moment of this.  After getting hit with an atomic drop, Honky goes to the outside and takes a walk to the back.  Survivors: Macho Man Randy Savage, Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat and Jake “the Snake” Roberts.

BL: Well nothing was settled here.  Race and Duggan brawled to a double countout and Honky bailed before any of his enemies could finish him off.  But there was some decent action and the fans loved the Honky beatdown while it lasted.  Good opener.  ***

Women’s Survivor Match: Sensational Sherri (Women’s Champ), Dawn Marie, Donna Christianello and the Glamour Girls (Women’s Tag Team Champs) vs. Fabulous Moolah, Velvet McIntyre, Rockin’ Robin and the Jumping Bomb Angels

Sherri gets things right started by grabbing McIntyre and throwing her from corner to corner.  High crossbody by McIntyre gets 2 on Sherri.  Moolah is tagged in and takes it to Sherri.  A mistake by Moolah as she lets Sherri tag, but Moolah doesn’t miss a beat and attacks Christianello as she enters.  A slam by McIntyre only gets 2 on Christianello but a few seconds later a victory roll does finish her off.  FACES UP 5-4.  McIntyre gives Leilani Kai more of the same and then tags Robin.  Robin gets caught in the heel corner and her beatdown commences.  Quick tags by the heels put Robin in peril.  Robin surprises Marie though with a crossbody and gets the 3 count.  FACES UP 5-3.  Hizuki and Kai are in now and Hizuki dazzles the crowd with some awesome mat work.  She gives Martin some of the good stuff too.  Yamazuki now goes to work on Sherri and gets a couple of pinfalls.  Sadly, she tags Robin and I go back to being bored.  After everyone takes turns beating up Robin, Sherri finishes her off with a suplex.  Adios weak link.  FACES UP 4-3.  Nothing of note happens as everyone is tagging everyone with no one gaining any advantage.  The Golden Girls…err…Glamour Girls catch Moolah with a double clothesline and that ends her night.  TIED UP 3-3.  McIntyre gets Martin in a Boston Crab, but can’t get a submission.  Kai hits a double underhook suplex on Yamazuki and goes for a cover.  Yamazuki bridges out at 2, but the bell rings.  Referee has to waive it off saying it was only a 2 count.  How odd.  McIntyre gets a giant swing on Sherri and then ends her night with a victory roll.  That’s somewhat of an upset.  FACES UP 3-2.  The Jumping Bomb Angels now go back and forth beating up Martin.  McIntyre tries another victory roll on Kai, but Kai blocks it and sends her crashing to the mat.  That’s enough to pin her.  TIED UP 2-2.  We’re down to the tag teams.  The Angels double-team the Glamour Girls with ease.  Kai misses a splash off the top rope, which allows Yamazuki to come off the top rope with a crossbody and pin her.  FACES 2-1.  Jimmy Hart tries to distract the Angels, but Hizuki dropkicks him to the floor.  Then a top rope clothesline by Hizuki is enough to put away Martin.  Survivors: The Jumping Bomb Angels

BL: Way too long given who was in the match.  Many times the ladies were lost out there just fumbling from move to move.  But the Jumping Bomb Angels were very impressive doing maneuvers that most fans had never seen female wrestlers do.  It’s a shame they didn’t remain in the WWF longer.  **

- Craig DeGeorge listens to Bobby Heenan explain how this match will be a piece of cake for his team to win.  Or in tonight’s case, a piece of pumpkin pie. 

- Tito Santana talks to Mean Gene and is fired up for his match.  It’s either that or the bean he had for dinner is kicking in.

Tag Team Survivor Match: Strike Force (Tag Team Champs), the British Bulldogs, the Rougeau Brothers, the Killer Bees and the Young Stallions vs. The Hart Foundation, Demolition, the Dream Team, the Islanders and the Bolsheviks

Volkoff hammers away on Martel to begin.  A tag is made to Zukoff, but he doesn’t fare as well.  Santana hits him with the flying forearm and pins him.  Remember here, if one man is eliminated, so is his partner.  FACES UP 10-8.  Ax beats down Santana but misses an elbow.  Now Bravo suffers from quick tags by the faces.  Everybody is getting ring time as the Bees work on Haku.  No one can seem to get any sustained offense here as there are so many people to tag.  Jacques misses a crossbody from the second rope, which allows Ax to cover him and get a pinfall.  TIED UP 8-8.  Haku and Neidhart do a nice double team move on Powers as Neidhart held Powers in a backbreaker while Haku hit him with a top rope headbutt.  That only gets a 2 count though.  A shoulderbreaker by Valentine on Roma gets 2.  Dynamite gets caught with his head down and Smash makes him pay for it.  As Smash beats up Dynamite in the corner, the referee admonishes him, so Smash shoves him down.  That draws a DQ and Demolition is gone.  FACES UP 8-6.  Bret absolutely plants Dynamite with a piledriver, but somehow only gets a nearfall.  Dynamite avoids a charging Bret and is able to tag Powers.  Martel gets a Boston Crab on Toma, but it’s in the heel corner so Toma tags Neidhart.  Neidhart blasts Martel with a clothesline from behind and gets a nearfall.  Martel tags Santana, who nails Neidhart with a flying forearm and covers but Bret makes the save.  That shot by Bret shockingly is enough for Neidhart to pin Santana with.  TIED UP 6-6.  Once again Powers is getting beatdown but the heels just can’t get a pinfall on him.  We suddenly get a clip and Powers is still under attack.  But as I look over, the Bulldogs are gone.  I can’t believe they edited out an elimination.  Maybe they just went to get a snack.  Nope, they’re gone.  HEELS UP 6-4.  Bravo hits his side suplex on Powers but opts to tag Valentine instead of covering.  Valentine goes for the figure four and shockingly gets shoved off.  Powers tags Roma who blindly sunset flips Valentine and pins him.  TIED UP 4-4.  The Bees now do some double-team moves on Neidhart.  Haku goes for a legdrop on Roma but misses.  Roma drops a fist on Bret and gets a nearfall.  How are the Stallions still in this match?  Nothing else has worked, so Toma tries biting Roma to eliminate him.  That doesn’t work either.  A big powerslam by Neidhart gets a 2 count on Roma.  Roma ducks under Bret and tags Brunzell.  Brunzell picks Bret up and Haku dropkicks the two of them but it causes Brunzell to land on top and pin Bret.  FACES UP 4-2.  Brunzell celebrates the pin, which allows Toma to jump him from behind.  The Islanders have cut the ring in half and are working over Brunzell.  Brunzell gets a sunset flip on Haku but only get a 2 count.  Finally Brunzell makes the tag to Powers, which draws no reaction from the crowd.  Roma powerslams Haku and covers, but Toma makes the save.  Brunzell hits a big dropkick on Toma and this time it’s Haku who makes the save.  Referee loses control as everyone gets in the ring.  Blair puts a Killer Bees mask on and sunset flips Haku.  The referee counts the pinfall even though Blair wasn’t the legal man.  Survivors: The Killer Bees and The Young Stallions

BL: Well there was some decent action here, but I really question the booking.  Why did the Bees and the Stallions survive over the more “over” teams Strike Force and the Bulldogs?  I mean the Bulldogs elimination wasn’t even shown.  The Stallions were beaten up for a good portion of the match and survive, yet Santana gets one shot to the back of the neck and that finishes him?  There were other booking problems, but I won’t list them all.  Just watch the match and enjoy the action instead of wrapping your mind around the booking here.  ***

- Andre seems very excited about his match tonight and talks about taking Hogan’s soul.  This is the most animated I’ve ever seen Andre, which is weird because I figured after he ate 5 turkeys today all that tryptophane would have made him sleepy.

- Hogan chats with Mean Gene, but they must be short on time because he doesn’t even get in a “Whatcha gonna do…”  My life feels so empty right now.

Main Event:  Hulk Hogan (WWF Champ), Bam Bam Bigelow, “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, “The Rock” Don Muraco and Ken Patera vs. Andre the Giant, King Kong Bundy, One Man Gang, Ravishing Rick Rude and “The Natural” Butch Reed

Prematch notes: Andre hasn’t wrestled since Wrestlemania 3.  Muraco is subbing for Superstar Billy Graham.  There was a question of whether Hogan could trust Orndorff.

To the match…Muraco and Rude slug it out until Muraco brings him over to the face corner and tags Orndorff.  Now each face is getting their turn attacking Rude.  Rude is getting no offense here.  Patera is in now and allows Rude to tag Reed.  What a moron!  They sent Patera to prison to punish him, but they released him to punish us.  Now it’s Reed who is getting mercilessly attacked by the faces.  Hogan comes in, hits the legdrop and finishes the job.  Gloryhound.  FACES UP 5-4.  Andre comes in while Hogan high-fives his teammates.  Hogan turns around to see Andre and is ready to go, but the referee says he made a tag when he high-fived Patera.  Puh-leeze.  With Patera in now, Andre says “F this” and tags Bundy.  Bundy also doesn’t fare well, so he tags the Gang.  The Gang catches a running Orndorff with a boot and tags Rude.  Orndorff comes right back and beats up Rude.  Man, Andre’s team has not looked good in these opening minutes.  Patera hits a crossbody on the Gang and gets a 2 count.  A thumb to Patera’s eye slows him down.  Now Patera gets beat down in the heel corner.  A big clothesline by the Gang finishes Patera off.  See ya later loser!  TIED UP 4-4.  The Gang and Bigelow go at it and end up colliding.  Both men crawl and tag out.  Orndorff keeps on destroying Rude and signals for a piledriver.  Bundy comes in though and nails him from behind.  Rude rolls up Orndorff and gets the 3 count.  HEELS UP 4-3.  As Rude poses, Muraco comes from behind and hits him with an atomic drop.  Finally, a Muraco powerslam ends Rude’s bad night.  TIED UP 3-3.  Muraco now begins to work on Bundy’s leg.  That is short lived as Bundy is able to get up and tag the Gang.  Muraco tries to slam the Gang but he falls on him.  That gets a 2 count.  Shortly thereafter though, the Gang gets a big splash on Muraco that puts him away.  HEELS UP 3-2.  Bundy and the Gang take turns beating up Bigelow and then we cut to…more of the same.  Andre finally gets tagged in and as he goes after Bigelow, Bigelow rolls to his corner and tags Hogan.  Hogan gets the better of their exchange as the crowd goes wild.  Bundy trips Hogan as he was going off the ropes and then drags him to the outside.  Hogan brawls with Bundy and the Gang until he gets counted out.  Crowd doesn’t like that one at all.  HEELS UP 3-1.  Bigelow, unlike Honky, decides to stay and fight.  He takes it to Bundy and gets a couple of nearfalls.  After Bundy misses a charge in the corner, Bigelow launches himself onto Bundy and pins him.  HEELS UP 2-1.  Bigelow can’t celebrate though as the Gang immediately comes in and attacks him.  The Gang looks to finish Bigelow off by going up top, but Bigelow rolls out of the way.  Bigelow then crawls over and pins him.  TIED UP 1-1.  Once again though, Bigelow gets jumped immediately.  Bigelow gives one last try by charging at Andre, but Andre sidesteps him.  Andre hiptosses Bigelow out of the corner and then pins him.  A valiant effort nonetheless.  Survivor: Andre the Giant

Postmatch: Hogan comes back and attacks Andre with the belt to send the crowd home happy.

BL: A very enjoyable match that had a lot better booking.  It started off hot with the faces destroying Rude and Reed.  Then the heels slowly started taking over.  Then, the shocker came as Hogan gets eliminated.  Finally, Bigelow puts on a show by eliminating Bundy and the Gang.  Props to the WWF for letting the heels win the main event for once.  *** ½

Final Thought: There were no real standout matches and the only notable moment was Hogan losing.  Still this was a novel idea and worthy of staying on PPV.  It gave fans a chance to see a lot of feuds come to a head within the confines of one match.  A recommended show if for nothing else than for its historical value.

Next time, because three hours wasn’t enough, it’s the four-hour Wrestlemania!

Until then keep surviving inside the squared circle of life.   

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