by Adam Gutschmidt 
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  I hope all of you have a wonderful time celebrating with your loved ones.  Now let’s see if this show was a turkey…

WWF Survivor Series 1988.

Emanating for the second year in a row from The Coliseum in Richfield, OH

Your commentators are Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “the Body” Ventura

Opening Match: The Powers of Pain, The Hart Foundation, The British Bulldogs, The Rockers and The Young Stallions vs. Demolition (tag champs), The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, The Brainbusters, The Conquistadores and The Bolsheviks

In a rare moment, Mister Fuji, Jimmy Hart, Slick and Bobby Heenan are all ringside for one match.  Davey Boy starts out with Conquistador #1 and not surprisingly handles him with ease.  Conquistador #1 tags out to Jacques and he fares about as well.  Michaels is in now and gets trapped in the heel corner.  Now everyone is getting a bit of action to warm up.  Bret comes off the ropes and catches Raymond in a small package for a 3 count.  FACES UP 5 (teams) -4.  A springboard crossbody by Roma gets 2 on Volkoff.  Bret whips Smash to the corner and tries to follow him in, but Smash gets his knee up.  Michaels goes for a crossbody but Smash catches him and lays him in the heel corner where they all beat him up.  Anderson hits his spinebuster, which is a thing of beauty if I must say, on Michaels but only gets a 2 count.  Conquistador #2 slams Michaels too close to his corner, which allows him to tag Janetty.  Ax and the Warlord square off and the crowd eats it up.  The Barbarian gets Blanchard up in a press and then drops him so that his throat hits the top rope.  Zukoff rolls through a Powers crossbody and picks up the fall.  TIED UP 4-4. Unable to rest, Zukoff gets attacked by Michaels right away.  The Barbarian shouldertackles Zukoff to his corner, where he tags Blanchard.  Blanchard doesn’t want to go against the Barbarian again so he immediately tags Volkoff.  Big heel heat for that move.  The Rockers do a nice move where Michaels blindly tags Janetty who comes in and hits a sunset flip on Zukoff for the 1-2-3.  FACES UP 4-3.  I’m surprised the Bolsheviks lasted that long.  Janetty is now in trouble in the heel corner.  The faces hit some big moves on Conquistador #1 yet can’t finish him off.  The Barbarian accidentally headbutts Conquistador #1 into his corner and he tags Blanchard.  Neidhart blocks a Blanchard suplex and hits one of his own.  Bret in now and hits some of his trademark moves.  Blanchard charges toward Bret, but Bret jumps over him and hits a German suplex.  That’s enough to finish him off.  No, wait!  Referee says Blanchard got his shoulder up and Bret’s were down.  Hart Foundation is eliminated. TIED UP 3-3.  Dynamite, complete with porno mustache, hits an inverse piledriver on Blanchard but gets a nearfall.  The Rockers and the Brainbusters battle it out and in the process shove the referee, so he tosses both teams.  The Busters and the Rockers battle all the way back to the locker room.  TIED UP 2-2.  Well that tidied things up a bit.  A delayed suplex by Davey Boy gets 2 on Conquistador #1.  Man those Conquistadores are TOUGH!  Davey Boy hits the running powerslam on Conquistador #2, but opts to tag the Barbarian instead of covering.  The Barbarian headbutts Conquistador #2 and he falls into the heel corner.  You would have thought the Barbarian would have learned after he made that mistake the first time.  Dynamite tries for a top rope headbutt on Smash, but misses.  Smash nails him with a clothesline and pins him.  HEELS UP 2-1.  Warlord whips Conquistador #2 and then charges after him, but ends up ramming his shoulder into the post instead.  Warlord now in a lengthy beatdown session as Fuji keeps getting on the apron and yelling orders.  Smash goes off the ropes but Fuji pulls them open and Smash falls to the floor.  Injured on the floor, Smash fails to get back in and is counted out.  TIED UP 1-1.  Furious, Ax yells at Fuji, so Fuji hits him with the cane.  Smash comes from behind and throws Fuji into Ax, who slams him.  Demolition leaves but now the Powers of Pain go over and help Fuji up.  The announcers are all confused as to what’s going on.  The Powers of Pain get back in the ring and the Conquistadores try working over the Barbarian.  Conquistador #1 goes off the ropes and Fuji trips him.  The Barbarian hits a headbutt and picks up the win.  Survivors: The Powers of Pain

Postmatch: The Powers of Pain raise Fuji in celebration, but Demolition comes back out and cleans house.  The live crowd has no idea who to root for at this point.

Bottom Line: This was one heck of a match.  Fast-paced action all around.  They got rid of the junk teams first and let the good ones go at it.  On top of that, we had a major storyline shake-up with the double-turn.  Great opener.  ****

The Ultimate Warrior (IC champ), Brutus “the Barber” Beefcake, The Blue Blazer, Sam Houston and Jumping Jim Brunzell vs. Honky Tonk Man, Greg “the Hammer” Valentine, Outlaw Ron Bass, Dangerous Danny Davis and Bad News Brown

Valentine and Davis double-team Beefcake to gain an early advantage.  Beefcake catches Davis in the sleeper though and puts him right out.  FACES UP 5-4.  We clip now to Bad News beating up Brunzell.  Brunzell misses a charge in the corner and then gets nailed with the Ghettoblaster to end his night.  TIED UP 4-4.  Another clip brings us to Houston getting beaten up by Valentine.  Bad News comes in and holds Houston for Valentine, but Valentine accidentally hits Bad News instead.  Bad News gets hot at Valentine and then just leaves, getting himself counted out in the process.  FACES UP 4-3.  Once again we clip away and come to Bass and Houston battling it out.  Houston tries for a monkey flip, but Bass catches him and slams him.  That’s enough for a pinfall.  TIED UP 3-3.  Scissors do their work once more as we find the Blazer taking it to Valentine.  The Blazer goes up top, but Honky shoves him off causing him to land on both knees.  Valentine, taking advantage, slaps on the figure four and gets a submission out of the Blazer.  HEELS UP 3-2.  And if you thought we would just keep going, you obviously aren’t too bright as we clip again and see Beefcake and Honky in a slugfest.  Beefcake gets the sleeper on Honky.  In an attempt to get to the ropes, Honky falls through them and takes Beefcake with him.  They brawl on the floor until both men are counted out.  HEELS UP 2-1.  Bass and Valentine immediately double-team the Warrior.  Warrior ducks their double clothesline and clotheslines them.  Warrior hits Bass with a double ax handle and pins him before Valentine can make the save.  TIED UP 1-1.  Valentine now gets hit with an ax handle and it’s all over for him too.  Survivor: Ultimate Warrior

BL: It’s kind of hard to rate the match since I got the abridged version of it.  Given the participants, I’m pleased to see they opted to edit this match as opposed to the opener.  Based on what I saw, I’ll give it ** ½

- Making his PPV debut, Sean Mooney talks to Bad News and Bad News says he’s been a loner all his life.  But unlike Mooney, Bad News has been a loner all of his life by choice.

- Sean Mooney now chats with the Warrior, who says that all of his teammates were winners tonight.  Somewhere, Sam Houston rejoices after being called a winner for the first time in his life.

Jake “the Snake” Roberts, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, Tito Santana, Ken Patera and Scott Casey vs. Andre the Giant, Dino Bravo, Ravishing Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect and Harley Race

We don’t even get to hear the opening bell for this one because as soon as everyone got in the ring we already clip to Rude and Patera doing battle.  Patera misses a charge in the corner and then gets hit with the Rude Awakening.  That’s it for the jailbird.  Good way to start the match!  HEELS UP 5-4.  A clip brings us to Casey getting beatdown by the heels.  Backslide by Casey on Bravo gets 2.  Bravo comes right back and hits the side slam to end Casey’s night.  Casey can now go back and fade into obscurity.  HEELS UP 5-3.  El Clipero takes us to Santana getting the short end of the stick against Bravo.  A piledriver by Race gets 2 on Santana.  Santana ducks a clothesline and then hits Race with the flying forearm.  That scores a pinfall.  HEELS UP 4-3.  No clip as Andre comes right in and headbutts Santana.  Santana stupidly tries a sunset flip on Andre and Andre just sits on him, easily getting the pin.  HEELS UP 4-2.  Duggan comes in and pounds on Andre long enough to get him tied in the ropes.  Roberts now comes in and beats up Andre while he’s still tied up.  Andre finally gets free and tags Rude.  Rude gives Jake some rough turnbuckle treatment.  Then Coliseum Video must have gotten bored as we cut to Duggan whipping Bravo into the corner.  Duggan goes for the 3 point clothesline, but Frenchy Martin grabs his foot and Bravo knees him to the floor.  Not surprisingly, Duggan grabs his 2 x 4 and nails Bravo getting himself disqualified.  Roberts says “Thanks a**hole for leaving me with a 4-on-1 disadvantage.”  Not really, but I’m sure he was thinking it.  HEELS UP 4-1.  Another clip takes up to Rude on the offensive against Jake.  Rude nonchalantly goes over to tag Andre, but Jake grabs Rude’s tights, turns him around and nails him with a DDT.  Good night Rude!  HEELS UP 3-1.  Well, there’s the blowoff to that feud.  Andre immediately comes in and starts choking Jake.  Refusing to stop, the referee has no choice but to disqualify Andre.  HEELS UP 2-1.  Even with that elimination, it doesn’t matter as Perfect just goes in and pins Jake to win.  Survivors: Dino Bravo and Mr. Perfect

BL: Another tough one to rate as it was another clipped version.  I have to rate this one a little lower though as there were some lame eliminations.  The heels dominated as they rightfully should have because the faces were comprised of Jake and the Suck Squad.  (Well Tito doesn’t suck, but the rest sure do)  **

- Sean Mooney talks to Andre as he towels off.  I could make dumb jokes about how he makes beach towels look like washcloths, but I pride myself on doing better work than that.

- Jake tells Mooney that he aint no crybaby.  He takes care of business.  Damian takes care of business.  If he wants to be successful against Andre, he better let Damian take care of all the business.

Main Event: Macho Man Randy Savage (WWF champ), Hulk Hogan, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, and Hercules vs. The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase, Big Bossman, Akeem, King Haku, and the Red Rooster

It’s Macho and Dibiase to start.  They do their usual until Macho tags Hercules.  In response, Dibiase immediately tags the Rooster.  Hercules chases after Dibiase but can’t catch him.  Koko is tagged in and charges the Rooster in the corner but EATS HEEL.  Hogan and Hillbilly give Haku a double big boot but it only gets a 2 count on him.  Now we get a cockfight as the Rooster battles the Birdman.  A missle dropkick by Koko gets a nearfall on the Rooster.  A big boot by Hogan and a big elbow by Macho are enough though to pin the Rooster.  FACES UP 5-4.  Everyone starts to come in but the faces quickly clear the ring.  Hillbilly tries a belly-to-belly on Akeem, but Akeem rams him back into the corner.  After a clothesline, Akeem hits Air Africa and it’s all over for Hillbilly.  TIED UP 4-4. Koko stuns Akeem with a dropkick and then tags Hogan.  All the faces beat up Akeem, but they can’t get him off his feet.  Koko charges him in the corner but comes up empty.  The Bossman gets tagged in and finishes Koko off with the Bossman Slam.  HEELS UP 4-3.  Hogan takes it to the Bossman and even slams him.  When Hogan goes for a shouldertackle though, Bossman catches him with a spinebuster.  The heels beat up Hogan making him your MegaEgo-in-distress.  Dibiase drops a fist and covers, but Hogan pops up.  Hogan tags Hercules who exacts some revenge on Dibiase.  It’s all Hercules until Virgil trips him up.  This allows Dibiase to knee Hercules in the back and roll him up for the 3 count.  HEELS UP 4-2.  Hercules nails Virgil on the floor, which distracts Dibiase long enough for Macho to roll him up for a pin.  HEELS UP 3-2.  A thrust kick by Haku on Hogan allows the heels to take over on offense.  Bossman hits the Bossman slam but opts not to cover.  Instead he tries a splash from the top rope and misses.  Hot tag to Macho who takes on all heels and has great success until Slick trips him.  With the Bossman locking a bearhug on Macho, Slick goes over to Elizabeth and tries to drag her to the back.  She probably forgot to give him his money.  Hogan stops him by decking him, which the crowd loves.  The Bossman and Akeem come to the aid of their manager and beat up Hogan in the aisleway.  They drag Hogan back to ringside and the Bossman cuffs him to the bottom rope.  While this is going on, the Bossman is counted out because he was the legal man.  TIED UP 2-2.  Despite being eliminated, the Bossman beats up Hogan with the nightstick.  The Bossman now attacks Macho with the nightstick and then holds him down while Akeem hits Air Africa.  Referee has had enough and now disqualifies Akeem.  FACES UP 2-1.  As Haku takes it to Macho, Slick teases Hogan by flashing the keys in his face.  Macho keeps going over, trying to tag Hogan but nobody’s there.  Haku accidentally nails Slick as he was holding Macho.  Elizabeth goes over and fishes through Slick’s pockets to find the keys.  She frees Hogan who goes back and finally gets the tag from Macho.  Hogan hits the big boot and the legdrop to finish this puppy off.  Survivors: The MegaPowers

Postmatch: Once again Hogan picks up Elizabeth in celebration as Macho looks on suspiciously.

BL: This one started out ok, but quickly dissolved into a mess.  The second half was unnecessarily overbooked.  I hate how instead of having heels win to continue feuds, they book them to lose in cheap ways (dq, countout).  But at least we continued to roll towards the MegaPowers exploding.  * ½

- Jesse Ventura gets a last minute postmatch interview with Macho and asks him about what he thought when he saw Hogan celebrating with Elizabeth.  Macho plays it cool like Miles Davis, but Jesse knows there’s more than what Macho is saying.  Just call him Jesse “the Buttinsky” Ventura.

Final Thought: We started off hot and then progressively cooled down.  There was some storyline advancement so points for that.  Just like a Beatles album you might be better off playing this show backwards so that way the matches become gradually better.  Definitely check out the opener though.

Next time, who wants to get oiled up for a posedown…huh?  Anyone?

Until then, save a drumstick for me!      

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