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ECW's Finest in Five Categories:
The Honorable Mentions and #10s 
January 9, 2004

by Scotty Szanto-Nicodemus 
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


Well, here we go.  This multi-part column has been rolling around in the back of my mind for quite some time, now.  Ever since ECW went bankrupt (in rather unceremonious fashion, I might add), I have had the idea for doing a huge tribute column of some sort.  After I stepped-down from recapping TNA for OO and became “The Indy Guy”, the idea to pay tribute to the biggest Indy fed in recent memory started to assert itself and force its way to the front of my mind until eventually I could no longer ignore it.  I don’t want to waste a lot of time writing about myself, because I’ve got enough typing ahead of me just to recap everything that I’m going to do…so in that spirit, let’s get right to it.

ECW: History in Review
Honorable Mentions, and #10

(Disclaimer:  This is not meant to be a “History of ECW” piece.  There are plenty of places where you can go to get the historical minutia that you desire, and I am not the man to give that info to you anyway.  I started watching ECW regularly just before they got their show on TNN, and so I was really only a die-hard fan of the fed for a little over a year before they went out of business.  But, in that time, and since that time, I have collected as many ECW tapes as I could afford to get my hands on.  Now, based solely on the tapes in my collection, I have gathered together a few Top Ten Lists.  Once again, these are not meant to be the universally accepted top moments/matches/whatever in ECW history; instead, they represent just some of my favorite moments/matches/whatever that appear in my tape collection.)

Honorable Mentions

Joel Gertner Poems

For those of you that never saw ECW on TNN, Joel Gertner was the color commentator, and he would open every show with Joey Styles by performing a “Dirty Middle Name” poem.  Sometimes they were relatively harmless, such as this one:

Joel…  “I make ‘em holler for a dollar,
            And do some strange for some change.”  …Gertner

Other times, the poems were a little more explicit, especially when they were on ppv, such as this example:

Joel…  “From Milwaukee to Green Bay,
All the Wisconsin women say
That it’s the highlight of their day,
When I shoot my nuts at their face and spray.”  …Gertner

To combat Joel’s dirty middle names that continued to get dirtier and dirtier, Cyrus (Don Callis) became the Network’s Technical Wrasslin’ Advisor.  This led to some humorous back-and-forth between Joel and Cyrus:

Joel…  “Cyrus is the network’s Technical Wrasslin’ Advisor,
And I’m glad he’s found his personal niche.
But technically, the only thing I can tell you about our buddy Cyrus,
Is that technically, he’s my personal bitch!”  …Gertner

Eventually, Cyrus started to get the better part of the feud with Joel (as heels are likely to do), and he started by cutting Joel’s dirty poems off before the nasty finale:

Joel…  “Cyrus isn’t here right now, Cyrus didn’t make it.
Cyrus is nothing but a wussie,
Because while he’s in Winnipeg eating Canadian bacon,
I’m in New Orleans eating…”  (cut-off by Cyrus in the control booth)


Raven promo reviews his feud with Tommy Dreamer.
This promo was helpful for those of us that were fairly new to ECW when they debuted on TNN, because it reviewed the feud that helped to establish ECW when they were just a glorified indy fed.  Footage is shown from as far back as April ’95…including Raven breaking Tommy’s finger, Dreamer hitting Raven with a Stop sign, and the infamous footage of Raven handcuffed to the steel cage while Dreamer attacked him with a steel chair.  We also get footage of Beulah (Raven’s girlfriend) revealing that she is pregnant with Tommy’s child.  Raven reveals that Dreamer was never able to get the pinfall on Raven during their 2-1/2 year feud, until Raven “gave” Dreamer his victory as Raven left for WCW.

Raven says that while he was away from ECW, Dreamer’s career lost its focus.  Now that he is back, he says that he will be Tommy Dreamer’s personal demon…don’t forget that Raven and Dreamer were Tag Team Champions at the time of this promo.

Dudley Boys promo after winning their first Tag Team Championship.
After beating the Eliminators (Saturn and Kronus), the Dudley Boys started using their catchphrase and referring to themselves as “the best tag team in the world today”.

The promo starts with Joel Gertner introducing the new tag team champions, who are outside in a graffiti-filled alleyway.  Buh Buh Ray is playing taps on a harmonica, and then D-Von tells us now that the Eliminator’s reign as champions is dead and buried, we should all hail the NEW tag team champions…and the best tag team in the world today.  As the promo ends and the camera starts to fade, Sign Guy Dudley holds up a sign in the background that reads, “U SUCK”.

Dusty Rhodes confronts Cyrus.
I am a little tentative about keeping this promo in the Honorable Mention section because I fear that I won’t be able to capture the intensity without transcribing it word for word…but here goes: Cyrus is Network, and so everything is about ratings to him, and at the point that this promo took place, nobody had really gotten the better of Cyrus yet.  Just before commercial on TNN one week, Raven was injured by Justin Credible and Lance Storm with a Stuff Piledriver, and when we returned from the break he was still motionless in the ring…that is where we pick-up the action: Paul Heyman and Dusty Rhodes are in the ring tending to Raven as Cyrus hits the ring with the mic.  He tells Dusty, “You were network, you were office, and you and I are just alike.  Tell this moron to get the wrassler out of the ring…this isn’t personal, this is about the network, this is about ratings.”  Dusty gets in his face and cuts a lengthy promo about how it is about the boys in the back, and if it wasn’t for all of the boys in the locker room, people like Cyrus wouldn’t even have a job.  He also gave a heartfelt shout-out to the fans that always cared about him, cared about what happened to him, and cared about it when he kicked somebody’s ass like Cyrus.

Terry Funk promo from Eastern Championship Wrestling.
I only have one match from when the “E” stood for Eastern instead of Extreme (2/5/94), and this promo is from immediately after that match (if you want to read the match details first, just scroll down a little bit, as I have included it as an Honorable Mention as well).  Funk has just finished fighting in a 1-hour draw, and he gives a heartfelt promo in defense of ECW.  He says that WCW and WWF belittle his profession because he considers himself an athlete, and those feds promote themselves to children.  He puts over the Sandman, as well as other guys from the ECW locker room, and then states that he has respect for both of his opponents in tonight’s match.  Finally, he thanks the fans for supporting him, and for supporting NWA: Eastern Championship Wrestling.


The Blue World Order was really more of an era than an angle, but here we go.  Stevie Richards and the Blue Meanie were members of Raven’s flock at around the time that “Big Daddy Cool” Kevin Nash and “Da Bad Guy” Scott Hall formed the nWo, and were subsequently joined by “Hollywood” Hulk Hogan and Syxx Pac…but this isn’t about them.  No, this is about Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy, and Hollywood Nova…and to a lesser extent, 7-11 (played by Rob Feinstein).  I mention him only as a way to tell you that RF Video has an awesome BWO retrospective tape available…with a healthy amount of previously-unseen and backstage footage.  Within only a few weeks, BWO shirts became the fastest selling items offered from ECW.  They mirrored all aspects of the original nWo, from interrupting other people’s matches and promos, to airing commercials and advertisements “paid for by the BWO”.  The main difference, of course, is that the BWO typically ended-up on the receiving end of the beat down in the end.  I’ll have a little more info on some of my favorite BWO moments later.

Joel Gertner announces winners according to the Studmuffin Scale.
This is another one that is kind of an era…during the early days of the Dudley Boys (back when they were a faction instead of a tag team…more on that later); Joel Gertner represented them as their manager.  He would do some amusing banter before their matches, always insisting on doing the ring introductions and such.  In fact, the origins of the dirty middle name lie somewhere within his time managing the Dudleys.  After the matches, however, specifically after matches in which the Dudley Boys lost, the real amusement began.  He would come into the ring, and say something along the lines of, “According to the Studmuffin scale, the winners by a score of 86 to 89, and STILL World Tag Team champions…”  The opponents usually would end up attacking Gertner and laying him out, which only added to his entertainment value!

Cyrus’ first opponent is…
After being jumped by Joel Gertner at the Heatwave 2000 ppv, Cyrus went out and got himself a wrasslin’ license, and at a TNN taping in Houston, Cyrus challenged Gertner, promising to kick his ass.  Hit Spike Dudley’s music!!  Complete with a cast on his healing leg, Spike comes to the ring to represent Paul Heyman, who could not make the trip to Texas.  But Spike says that he just got off the phone with Paul E., and said that Paul told him to “drop some acid and book the matches tonight.”  Since Cyrus has gotten himself a real wrasslin’ license, Spike tells him that his first opponent will not be Joel Gertner, his first opponent is going to be…The Sandman!!  “Exit light…”

Masato Tanaka wins the World Title from Mike Awesome.
Here is the set-up: Tanaka and Awesome had been feuding for years, both in Japan and in ECW.  At the Anarchy Rulz ppv, Tanaka had a World Title shot against Taz, and Awesome and his manager Judge Jeff Jones showed-up at the ppv and convinced everyone involved to make the title match a 3-way dance.  Naturally, after getting himself entered into the match, Awesome walked away from the ppv with the World Heavyweight Title (I haven’t seen that particular ppv, so I don’t know all of the details).  Fast-forward a week or two to an ECW on TNN show, where Tanaka is sitting in the first row in order to “scout” Awesome for their match the following week…

During Awesome’s title defense against Spike Dudley, Awesome tosses Spike into the first row, right into Tanaka’s lap.  Naturally, Tanaka rushes the ring, but security swarms into the ring immediately…after all, their match is scheduled for next week!  The crowd voices its displeasure, and Cyrus gets on the mic and tells Paul Heyman that they “didn’t build this company from the ground up by not giving the people what they want.”  Cyrus coaxes Paul E. (and Awesome) into sanctioning a title match between Tanaka and Awesome, and of course Tanaka won the match, thus winning the ECW World Heavyweight Title, which he held for the duration of a cup of coffee before losing it back to Awesome on TNN just a week or two later.


Steve Corino sits-in on commentary, and shows clips from his ppv match against Tajiri.
This was the TNN show immediately after the Hardcore Heaven 2000 ppv, which featured a match between Corino and Tajiri (which is featured as my #5 match in this column…so look forward to that!).  If you haven’t seen the match and can’t wait until next week when my #5s are debuted, Corino was completely decimated by Tajiri, and so the next show on TNN he interrupts Joey and Joel and the following hilarity ensues…

Interrupting a match, Corino first shows footage of himself being bloodied at the hands (or more accurately, the feet) of Tajiri.  Corino himself is heavily bandaged for the promo, and later in the match being televised he shows more footage and says that he is the victim of a “Japanese Shooter”.  When the camera comes back to show Corino, he makes the motion of a Big Elbow towards the camera, and a punch (complete with slapping himself in the chest while punching), and says, “I’m not a shooter, I’m a wrassler!  You know?!”  The footage ends with Corino lambasting Joey and Joel for presenting him as a coward.  Just then Joel shouts and points, “Look out, it’s Tajiri!”  Corino screams and runs off as Joey thanks Joel for his quick thinking.  This was some instant-classic stuff from the King of Old School here…this was a real defining time for Corino’s character.

The Ugandan Studmuffin debuts.
At the Anarchy Rulz ppv from St. Paul, Joel Gertner was scheduled in take-on Cyrus in a match that many were hoping would be the blow-off to their nearly year-long feud…but not me, Joey, Joel and Cyrus were putting on some of the best promos in the business during ECW’s time on TNN.  Anyway, the match finally happened at Anarchy Rulz, and when Gertner removed his jacket, he revealed that he had painted his upper body just like Kamala, the Ugandan Giant.  At the time that Joel starts to pat his belly and roll his tongue around, Joey Styles (on commentary) yells, “It’s the Ugandan Studmuffin!”  For the record, Gertner won with a Roll-Up after interference by the Sandman (beer mist to Cyrus’ face).

Josh Wilcox is offside!
ECW invited the starting Tight End from the New Orleans Saints to compete as Tommy Dreamer’s tag team partner when ECW was in the Big Easy.  So the stage is set: Tommy Dreamer & Josh Wilcox v. Steve Corino & Rhino.  Wilcox starts the match against Corino, and Corino goes into a 3-point stance, challenging the tight end.  Wilcox goes down into a 3-point stance across the ring, and when the ref prepares to start the count, Jack Victory jumps up onto the ring apron and pulls a yellow flag from his pocket and throws it into the ring!  Corino, Rhino and Victory all start to point at Wilcox, yelling, “He’s offside!”

Tanaka dumps Awesome on his head.
One of Mike Awesome’s signature moves when he was World Champion is the running-overhead Superbomb (which he calls the Awesomebomb) over the top rope and through a table on the floor.  On this instance, Tanaka wriggles free and reverses the move on Awesome.  However, Tanaka is much shorter than Awesome, and also does not get a running start, so he simply drops Awesome over the rope.  Awesome over-rotates on the move, going through the table and to the floor headfirst.


(Later in this column I will be recapping each match in depth, but for these Honorable Mentions, I will just be giving you a few brief comments.)

Ian Rotten v. Axl Rotten: Taipei Death Match.
It is special any time that a tag team breaks up and starts feuding, but nothing can beat two brothers battling against each other!  In this case, both men have taped their fists, then after dipping their hands in glue, their taped fists are covered in shards of broken glass!  The footage starts with Tod Gordon in the ring, and he tells us that only one man is hardcore enough to referee a match this extreme…Bill Alphonso!  Yes, back in the day (7/1/95), Fonzie started out as a ref, and he agrees to call the match right down the middle.  The match starts with some circling, and Axl lands the first punch on his brother, and just like that Ian has a small cut above his eye.  Alphonso checks on him, and then grabs the mic and tells us that due to the lack of vision caused by blood in his eye, Fonzie is stopping the match!

At that moment, the Public Enemy (tag champs) and the Gangstas brawl their way out of the locker room area, and Fonzie goes into the aisle to help break it up and escort both teams to the back.  After that is taken care of, Tod Gordon comes back into the ring, and since Alphonso has left, he re-starts the Taipei Death Match…Jim Molineaux will be your referee.  The Rotten brothers start to brawl immediately, pulling pieces of glass off of their fists and slicing one another’s foreheads and arms.  There isn’t really much to call in the match, no real wrasslin’ moves to speak of, just a bloodbath that is, frankly, difficult to view at times.  Both men are wearing the crimson masks after only a few minutes, and after landing a DDT in the middle of the ring, Ian brings a bag of thumbtacks in and sets-up to Powerbomb his brother onto the tacks.  It backfires on him however, when Axl Back Bodydrops Ian onto the tacks and gets the pinfall and the win.

Raven v. Justin Credible (champ): World Heavyweight Title Match.
I am including this match because I saw it live, and when it aired on TV, it was one of those weird moments when what I saw on television doesn’t correspond with my memories of the event.  A brief tangent about how cool I am before I get to it…this match was actually recorded before the Hardcore Heaven ppv, but then not aired until afterward, since Amey and I were also at the ppv, that means that we were in the live crowd for three consecutive shows aired by ECW!

Justin Credible had only just won the ECW World Title from Raven’s estranged tag team partner, Tommy Dreamer.  This was Raven’s first title shot against Credible, and the crowd was solidly behind the man from The Bowery.  They literally tore the house down, brawling throughout the building.  Since it was the main event, they didn’t need the merchandise tables, so they were reduced to splinters.  Most of the match seemed like a squash by Raven, until a desperation move by Justin Credible sends Raven through a table.  Justin goes on to dictate most of the second half of the match, even using Raven’s own Drop Toe-Hold onto a chair against him.  He was unable to put Raven away, though, and Raven even kicked-out of That’s Incredible, the Tombstone Piledriver, which really sent the crowd into a frenzy.  One ref bump later, and Raven was able to plant Justin with the Evenflow DDT (was it even called that yet?).  The crowd counted the 1, 2, 3, but with no ref to make the official call, it was all for naught.

This is the part that left me perplexed: Justin Credible was able to land a DDT on Raven, and referee Jim Molineaux regained his wits enough to count the pinfall…but Raven got his foot on the ropes!  By my memory, the crowd nearly rioted, thinking that the ref had not seen Raven’s foot on the ropes…but the crowd that can be seen on TV was fairly calm.  We were sitting in the cheap seats, to be sure, but the people sitting in our section were ready to tear the place apart!  The match continued, and Credible won with a Roll-Up, using the ropes himself to score the pin…a move that resulted in the entire crowd going nuts and filling the ring with half-empty beer cups, most of which was edited out of the final TV version, also.

Rhino v. Super Crazy (champ): TV Title Match.
If you were not a consistent viewer of ECW on TNN, then you might not be aware that Super Crazy actually held the TV Title for a brief period early in 2000.  His reign lasted a little longer than a cup of coffee…unless you are one o’ those latté or espresso drinkers, maybe!  Cyrus challenged Super Crazy at the beginning of the show from Salem, NH, but then when the match was actually about to start he tells Crazy, “Don’t be a mark!  This is network, this is wrasslin’, and NOBODY in wrasslin’ sticks to the stipulations!  You might’ve thought you’d get a clean finish on Nitro, you might’ve even thought you were going to wrassle me…but no, your opponent will be Rhino!!”

Crazy actually is in control for most of the opening moments of the match, even taking-out the “Network Stooges”, Steve Corino and Jack Victory.  It was really only a matter of time until Rhino used his power moves to gain control of the match, though.  Joey and Joel consider the ramifications that would result from a Network minion winning ECW’s TV Title…Cyrus showing-up with the belt on Roller Jam, on Rock-n-Bowl, at the Rodeo, etc.  Super Crazy is one of the few people ever to kick-out after being gored through a table…and it happened in this match.  Rhino does not relinquish control of the match, however, and sets-up a table in the corner and positions Crazy for a Superplex.  Crazy reverses the move, Powerbombing Rhino through the table and scores the clean pinfall to retain the TV Title.

Terry Funk (champ) v. Sabu v. Shane Douglas: Triangle Match for the Heavyweight Championship from Eastern Championship Wrestling.
This match is from February of ’94, and I would’ve actually ranked it instead of putting it in the Honorable Mentions, if not for the fact that the match lasts a whole hour, and this freakin’ column is going to be long enough without including blow-by-blow recaps of 1-hour matches!  Anyway, the match starts with Sabu against Douglas, and Funk enters at the 15-minute mark.  I’m a big fan of Shane Douglas’ early work in ECW, and this match is a good example of why…Funk didn’t enter the match until after 15 minutes, and later Sabu went to the back for about 10 minutes or so, but Douglas stayed in the ring battling for the whole hour.  The match itself is a non-stop barrage of action, and Terry Funk us left a bloody mess.  The match ends as a time limit draw…so no pinfall.


Joel Gertner Poem

Remember that ECW was on the original TNN, The Nashville Network, before it morphed into the New TNN as The National Network…all of this was prelude to what we know today as the New New TNN, Spike TV.  As the original TNN, ECW programming was along such things as “18 Wheels of Justice” and “Roller Jam”.  By including ECW on their network, it only highlighted how lame the rest of their programming was.

“I’m not on Survivor, I’m not on Big Brother.
If I’m not on top of your sister, it’s because I’m on top of your mother.
The camera’s on Joey, the camera’s on me,
And when Regis kicked her off, I was on top of Kathie Lee.
The censors hate moi, and they hate him, Paul E.
Can you believe this Dukes o’ Hazard network is owned by MTV?”          …Gertner

This poem does two things.  First, it shows Gertner’s tendency to use specific references to things that were going on at the time in his poems (Kathie Lee).  Second, it highlights the real-life feud between ECW and TNN that helped to speed-up what some would say was the inevitable demise of ECW.


Little Guido tells us that, “There’s no shift.”
I have always been entertained by the Full Blooded Italians gimmick, and Guido himself has always found ways to amuse me, sometimes unintentionially…like this instance.  Guido had a TV Title match against Super Crazy scheduled, and Cyrus bursts into the locker room to tell him that Tajiri has been added to the match, making it a 3-Way dance.  Guido is understandably miffed by the news, but Cyrus assures him that Tajiri is “taken care of”, that after Super Crazy is disposed of, Tajiri will do the job for Guido (of course in another promo Cyrus told Tajiri the same thing about Guido doing the job for him).  After Cyrus leaves, Guido assures Big Sal that he is up to the new challenge, but Sal feels that Cyrus is “a little shifty”.  Guido tells Sal not to worry, saying, “I can take ‘em.  There’s no shift.  I can take ‘em all.”


Tommy Dreamer wrassles in the main event in his hometown.
The first ECW on TNN show of 2000 came to us from Dreamer’s hometown of White Plains, NY.  Not only that, but from the very building in which Dreamer saw his first wrasslin’ match years ago with his father.  Joey and Joel told us repeatedly during the course of the show that the reason that Tommy was always a babyface, always wore the white hat, is because he learned it from his father…his father who could not be in the arena, but watched the match at home on TNN.  The fans erupt during the ring announcements, and we get a close-up of Dreamer with tears running down his cheeks.  After the ring announcements are complete…Justin Credible walked-out on the match!  For the record, the match did happen, and Dreamer did the job.


Taz dumps Bam Bam Bigelow into the 1st row.
We’ve all seen the set-up many times…wrassler A grasps wrassler B near some ledge or other high precipice, and looks around to the crowd to build the anticipation of tossing wrassler B over the edge.  While wrassler A is distracted looking for approval from the crowd, wrassler B wriggles free, and the match continues.  In this instance, Taz has Bam Bam Bigelow on the rampway, and locks-in a Head and Arm Suplex…he looks around to the crowd, and then…picks Bigelow up and tosses him overhead, sending Bigelow crashing into the guardrail and into the first row of seats!  When I saw this for the first time, I was convinced that Bigelow was going to break the hold.


Mikey Whipwreck & Yoshohiro Tajiri v. The FBI (champs): Tag Team Titles Match.
At the time of this match, the Full Blooded Italians consisted of Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke, with Big Sal E. Graziano.  As for Mikey and Tajiri, they are seconded by the Sinister Minister (Jim Mitchell is his real name, I think).  These guys faced-off a bunch of times during the last few months of ECW’s existence, so I could’ve picked any one of them…except that I only have two or three of the matches on tape!  Mikey and Tajiri attack quickly after the ring announcements, and we are underway.  They whip Guido and Mamaluke at each other, but the Italians stop before running into each other.  Clotheslines ducked by the FBI, and then Mikey and Tajiri duck a pair of Clotheslines, which causes Guido and Mamaluke to Clothesline one another.  Good stuff.  Mikey is wearing pants that can best be described as Tajiri-esque, and he is laying in some buzzsaw-like kicks on Mamaluke.  Tajiri busts the Tarantula out early against Guido, and then the Unholy Alliance turns their attention to Tony Mamaluke.  With Mamaluke tied to the tree o’ woe, Tajiri comes in with a Baseball Slide Dropkick, followed by the Sinister Minister entering the ring and tossing a fireball into Mamaluke’s exposed crotch.  This prompts Joey Styles on commentary to declare, “Hot Nuts!  We got Hot Nuts!”  Guido brings a chair into the ring, and Mikey and Tajiri waste no time in using the chair against him.  The tide of the match finally turns when Mikey goes for the 10-punch series in the corner, as Mamaluke crotches him and then he and Guido bring him out with a Double Powerbomb.  Finally we are down to just two men in the ring, and Guido is in firm control against Whipwreck.  Whip into the corner, and after planting Mikey with a face-first slam of some sort, the crowd starts to chant, “Where’s my pizza?”  Guido climbs the turnbuckles, and comes off with, wait for it…the Sicilian Slice!  That one move is the biggest reason that I chose this match over any other featuring these teams.  You see, in the early days of ECW, the crowd chants were used as part of the match sometimes, as in this match.  The small crowds were hardcore and totally devoted to ECW, and so they understood the small intricacies of things like using the “Where’s my pizza” chant as Guido set-up for the Sicilian Slice…or chanting “What’s your name” as Buh Buh Ray stuttered his way through a promo (but you can read more about the Dudleys elsewhere in this column).  My point is, as ECW crowds grew, the old-school chants began to be used more randomly, and thus they lost a little bit of their meaning.  On this night, however, Guido and the crowd were in-synch.

Mikey kicks-out at two and a-half, and the match continues.  Mamaluke comes in against Mikey, and hits the Side Italian Legsweep.  Mikey connects with a face-first slam of his own before making the lukewarm tag to Tajiri, who cleans house against their opponents.  Release German Suplex on Mamaluke, who flips over and lands on his feet.  Mamaluke quickly grabs Tajiri and plants him with a German Suplex of his own, holding on with a bridge for the 2-count.  Mikey comes in, and as Guido goes for the Kiss o’ Death, Tajiri slides in under the ropes and sprays green mist in Guido’s face!  The tide of the match has turned, and Mikey and Tajiri hit a Double Whippersnapper on Guido.  1, 2, and…Big Sal pulled the ref out of the ring!  That was especially nice because the edge of the ring was off-camera, and so the ref literally just disappeared from view!  The Sinister Minister decides to involve himself, and he pays for it by eating a Splash against the steel rail from Big Sal.  In the ring, Mikey and Tajiri are putting-on a tag team clinic, before things start to break down after Sal slides one of the title belts into the ring.  Mamaluke has the belt, but drops it after a kick from Tajiri, who throws the belt across the ring and into Sal’s face!  An Asai Moonsault to the floor by Tajiri takes the big 600-pounder off his feet, but Sal rolls over onto Tajiri, pinning him to the floor outside the ring.  Speaking of the ring, Mikey starts to set-up for a Whippersnapper from the top turnbuckle against Mamaluke.  Guido is up on the apron, and waffles Mikey with a title belt.  One Double-Kiss o’ Death later, and the FBI score the pinfall to retain the Tag Team titles.


Well, there you have it.  An introduction to my yearly self-abuse, as I review hours upon hours of video…all with the faint hope that someone will email me and call me an asshole for including one match or promo instead of another!  Next week, I will have a column for you each day, with two rankings each day (#9-8 on Monday, #7-6 on Tuesday, etc.), and then all of the #1 rankings will be posted by themselves on Friday…the anniversary of the final ECW ppv three years ago.  Until then…



SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
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RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
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RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
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PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
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RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
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RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28




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