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OO SPECIAL FEATURE  
TNA iMPACT on SpikeTV: Episode 5 
October 31, 2005

by Jason Longshore 
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

I hate sports. It was the weekend of suck for my teams. Georgia’s undefeated season ended at the hands of the hated Florida Gators, a team that always finds a way to beat us. The Thrashers blew another lead and lost to Tampa Saturday night. The suck finally ended with a terrible 4-0 loss by DC United in the playoffs to end their season. Let’s 

see if Impact can improve my mood…

We’re kicked off with a highlight package of Bound for Glory. Tenay and West say hello and we’re off.

ABYSS V. LANCE HOYT

When did Lance Hoyt start trying out for the Bushwhackers? He tries to take off his shirt once in the ring, but Abyss attacks first. Hoyt takes control and clotheslines Abyss out to the floor, following that up with a plancha. Abyss recovers to toss Hoyt into the guardrail and then clotheslines the snot out of him. They go back into the ring where Abyss scores with his corner splash. Hoyt tries to fight back, but with little effect. Abyss chokeslams Hoyt and Mitchell gives him a chair. Referee Rudy Charles grabs the chair, which gives ol’ Lance a chance to recover. Hoyt kicks the chair into Abyss’ face, but only gets a two count for his troubles. Mitchell distracts Lance by singing some Depeche Mode at ringside and Hoyt chases after him to hear more. Unfortunately for him, Abyss is waiting once they’re back in the ring. Lance escapes a second chokeslam, bounces off the ropes, but Abyss is waiting again. This time, the Black Hole Slam finishes him off.

Mitchell isn’t satisfied though and pulls out the infamous black bag o’ thumb tacks. Abyss is all for the idea. The lights go out first though. Sabu is in the ring when the lights come back, and his arm is covered in a towel. Abyss steps to him, but Sabu pulls off the towel to reveal his arm covered in barbed wire and blood. Abyss legitimately looks freaked out and leaves while Sabu looks even crazier than usual.

Commercials (including one for this Thursday’s prime time special and Monty Brown’s Morphoplex debut) are up next.

We return with Tenay and West telling us about the prime time special. Tenay apologizes for the “technical” problems during the Ultimate X match at Bound for Glory and announces that there will be a rematch on the special. Jeff Jarrett’s music hits and he’s out with Larry Zybysko. He has an announcement of his own, that he’ll be facing Rhino for the NWA World Title on the special as well. Well duh Jeff, we did just see a commercial hyping that match. Which they then go on to play again for some reason…

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS V. JERRELLE CLARK

No music for Clark, but Jeremy Borash does at least announce his name. Daniels starts out treating Jerrelle like the jobber that he is. Daniels talks some trash as he wails on Clark. Jerrelle tries a comeback with some dropkicks, but his monkey flip attempt is foiled. He then eats an STO from Daniels. A running knee from Daniels gets a two count. Clark tries to rally again, this time with a hurricanrana. He scores again with a clothesline and tries to follow up with a springboard moonsault, but only gets the mat instead. Daniels is done fooling around and hits the Angel’s Wings for the win.

More commercials, this time including one for the Genesis PPV on November 13, are up next.

We return with Shane Douglas and Raven backstage. Douglas is asking about the World Title situation and how Raven’s on the outside looking in. Before Raven can respond, Cassidy Reilly shows up. He says that Raven’s getting played by TNA and Zybysko. He then says that “maybe she has gotten in your head,” continuing the girlfriend angle from Bound for Glory. Raven doesn’t care for Reilly’s comments, he pimp slaps him and leaves.

RODERICK STRONG/ALEX SHELLEY V. SONJAY DUTT/AJ STYLES

Eurotrash Alex Shelley continues to outdo himself with his intro attire. AJ and Shelley start it out. They clinch in the corner and Alex talks some trash as they break. Shelley dupes AJ into a test of strength spot, Styles should know that you never trust Alex Shelley. AJ takes control with his patented dropkick, and tags in Sonjay to continue the fun. The Sprinkler Elbow gets a two count. Shelley tags in Strong, who eats the Super Wacky Twisty Tilt-a-Whirl for another two count. I’m just waiting for Sonjay to get dizzy on one of those. That takes us to another commercial break.

We come back with Coach D’Amore joining us on commentary. Well, he’s not commentating on the match, per se, but yelling about the injustice of the Ultimate X rematch coming up this Thursday. Meanwhile, Shelley and Strong are keeping the double team on poor Sonjay. D’Amore is still going nuts, calling Tenay a son of a bitch and saying Petey will win the match again. West calls for a towel for the spit shower he’s received from the Canadian Bacon. Back to the match, Strong mocks AJ by mimicking his dropkick and taunting pose. AJ is not amused at ringside. Dutt goes for a moonsault, but is caught by Strong who hits one of his 1187 backbreaker variations. Tenay also informs us that he’s the Messiah of the Backbreaker, which is sure to upset Messiah of the Spinebuster David Young. AJ saves Dutt from the pin. Shelley tags in to continue the beat down, but Sonjay counters with a hurricanrana. He gets the super hot tag to AJ, who cleans house. Shelley goes for a German suplex, but gets the Pele kick instead. Strong kills the momentum dead with another backbreaker. Dutt gets in and hits the Rope Walking Sprinkler Elbow. He knocks Shelley to the outside and tries to follow up with a baseball slide, but Shelley grabs him and tosses him out like a French debutante. In the ring, Strong tries to finish AJ off, but AJ counters with a Styles Clash for the win.

Shane Douglas is in Zybysko’s office with the 3 Live Kru. BG apologizes to Larry for interrupting his naked video poker, but he wants another shot at Team Canada. Zybysko likes the idea and makes a match for Genesis. Kip James shows up and offers his services as guest referee. Zybysko doesn’t commit to it, BG and Truth like the idea, but K-Dawg still isn’t buying Kip’s supposed good intentions.

3 LIVE KRU (KILLINGS/JAMES) V. AMERICA’S MOST WANTED

The tag titles are not on the line here. AMW wins the valet battle, Konnan can’t really compete with Gail Kim. Storm trash talks the camera on the way to the ring. He’s also upped the heelitude with a really stupid looking pony tail. Killings and Storm start things off, and Killings gets a hold of Storm’s cowboy hat. He does some rodeo dancing and nails both Storm and Harris with a double dropkick. The numbers game eventually gives AMW the advantage, until BG comes in to help out the Truth. They send AMW both to the outside and Killings follows up with a plancha. Once back in the ring, AMW take control of the match. Harris goes for his delayed vertical suplex, but Killings turns it into a face buster instead. He gets the hot tag to BG, who delivers a big boot to Storm and his classic juking punches to Harris. He misses on the shaky knee drop though. Harris tries for the Catatonic, but BG escapes. James goes for the pumphandle, but Gail Kim distracts him. Harris and Storm trade places in the ring. D’Amore waddles down the ramp, but Kip James follows behind and steals the hockey stick. He gives it to BG, but Harris steals it before he can use it. Storm nails the superkick and AMW gets the win.

Before we head to commercials, we see Team 3-D arrive at the building. For some reason, them driving a white SUV is weird to me.

Brother Ray has a mic in the ring as we come back. He asks the crowd to applaud AMW for what they did. They did what no other team has done in their ten year career. He also says that they made a “deadly” mistake by not killing them off when they had the chance. Ray says that they know everyone who was involved in last week’s funeral segment and that they will be getting revenge. He says that AMW are now “public enemy #1” and that Team 3-D and Rhino will team up to face AMW and Jarrett at Genesis. Devon says the revenge will start with Team Canada in prime time on Thursday night.

This brings out Coach D’Amore, Eric Young, and Bobby Roode. D’Amore says that Team 3-D made a mistake by coming to TNA. Roode takes the mic and says that they don’t have to wait until Thursday. Petey Williams and A-1 come out from the other side of the building for the sneak attack. Dastardly Canadians. 3LK comes out to help Team 3-D. They hit the 3-D on A-1. D’Amore is about to be set up for one himself, but Jarrett and AMW come out for the save. Rhino shows up to even the odds and they brawl as we fade to black.

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

· Really fun overall show this week. Both tag matches were good, although for very different reasons. The storyline advancement was excellent in the AMW v. 3LK match, and I’m really liking AMW’s heel act. Storm is awesome as a prick. The Shelley/Strong v. Styles/Dutt match was great. I’m glad to see Dutt getting a strong push. Shelley and Strong make a really good team that I hope continues.

· It was good to see the return of ridiculous Shane Douglas faces. He made it look like his head was going to explode when Raven pimp slapped Reilly.

· I’m really curious as to where the Raven thing is going, and that’s a good thing. I have a feeling that this storyline is Raven’s idea. It sure seems like they’ll bringing his new girlfriend in, but who will she be? Jackie Gayda, anyone? I don’t know of any other females who are supposedly on the way in.

· Cool to see the crowd chanting for Rhino to come out at the end, they’re definitely buying into him and don’t care about how WWE booked him.

· It was dumb to show the commercial for the prime time special right before Jarrett come out to make his big announcement about getting another title shot. The commercial itself was good though, hopefully Spike will put it in heavy rotation this week.

· The special looks pretty stacked. They set up Jarrett v. Rhino for the NWA World Title, Team 3-D v. Team Canada, and the Ultimate X rematch on Impact. I also have to give props to how they announced the Ultimate X rematch as a “make good” match because of the problems during the PPV bout. Now, just make sure the stupid X doesn’t fall down again!

EXTRA NON-IMPACT RELATED TNA RANT

The hot news on Friday was that Jerry Jarrett was at WWE headquarters on Friday. Of course, WWE.com hyped it up all day with all sorts of messages. First, they said that he wasn’t alone, implying that Jeff was with him. Then, they posted a vague quote from Jarrett about how he’s known the McMahons for years. Of course, they finally revealed that Jarrett was bringing a Russian wrestler to meet with WWE about a job.

Do you really think that’s all that was talked about? As Rick brought up on Friday, it’s not a secret that Jerry Jarrett is not happy about his reduced power at TNA. That’s understandable, he was involved in the creation of the company and I’m sure it isn’t easy to watch others control it. However, if those others hadn’t become involved, we wouldn’t be talking about TNA at this point as a current promotion, let alone one on national TV with monthly PPV’s and the like.

He does still have an ownership stake in the company, and that’s what bothers me the most about his meeting with WWE. Why make a company that you own look bad by publicly meeting with another company that leads your industry? It just isn’t a smart move. It looks like a very selfish move on Jarrett’s part, especially when TNA is coming up on a huge prime time special that could lead to bigger and better things with Spike TV. If he was trying to piss Panda Energy and Dixie Carter off enough to buy him out completely, I hope they do it and get him out of the company.

What that would do for his son Jeff, who also has a minority stake in the company, is anyone’s guess. If he’s not involved in your meetings with WWE, why put him in that position? I hope for his sake that he knew about the meeting and wasn’t caught by surprise as most in TNA seem to have been.

I can understand Jerry’s frustration with watching other people make all the decisions about his creation. Giving a competitor a chance to publicly embarrass that creation though is foolish. Doing this to a creation that employs your son just seems wrong to me.

Hopefully, that’s that for this situation, but you never know in this business. TNA will be back Thursday this week for their big prime time special. If you miss the show, we’ll be back with the recap. Until then…

E-MAIL JASON
BROWSE THE OO FEATURES ARCHIVE

Jason Longshore is your second-most-favorite wrestling fan/writer from Atlanta, GA.


 
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