Onto the show…

We kick it off with highlights from last week. Tenay and West do their general welcome and we’re off to the ring.

Jobber #453 is pacing in the ring as Monty comes out. Tenay says he’s Hellvis, one half of some fearful (I’m sure) tag team. I would’ve called him Stank Abbott, but that’s just me. Anyway, Stank does nothing except get Pounced. I refuse to say anyone’s left the building.

A video recap of the 3 Live Kru situation is followed by them heading to the ring with Kip James in tow. BG tells Truth and Konnan that he has love for them, but he also has love for Kip. Konnan interrupts, saying that Kip always latches on to whatever’s hot to try to get ahead. He talks about Kip being Honky Tonk Man’s lackey, being a lackey in DX, and even almost marrying Palumbo. BG goes off, saying that it’s all come down to this. He wants an up or down vote on if they’re going to accept Kip as part of the family. Truth says that BG has never done him wrong and if Kip is BG’s family, then they’re family too. Konnan starts yelling, but BG yells him down. Konnan has to admit that he’s never had a reason to doubt BG and he’s not going to start now. He relents and we now have the 4 Live Kru, or something or other. Kip does refuse to dance, thankfully.

After commercials, we come back with a doctor telling us about the severity of Christopher Daniels’ concussion. He says it’s a grade three concussion, which is apparently in the “not good” category. We don’t know when Daniels will be back.

I don’t remember these two facing off very often, nice match up. They play the indy stand-off game a few times until we head to commercial.

We come back to see AJ setting up his classic dropkick. However, Sabin is on to it and scores with a hurricanrana. AJ comes back and does nail his dropkick to even the score. AJ steals a backbreaker from Roderick Strong for his next trick, using it to set up the Indian Deathlock with a bridge. AJ rolls over to up the pain on the hold, but Sabin is able to get to the ropes. They trade moves until AJ goes for a sunset flip. He rolls through to try to set up the Styles Clash, but Sabin gets out and hits a basement dropkick instead. Sabin goes for a German suplex, but AJ lands on his feet. Sabin reverses AJ’s German attempt and tries to roll him up for the pin but only gets a one count. Sabin then locks in a variation on the STF, but AJ is able to fight to the ropes. They trade forearm shots, then knee shots, then chops until the always dreaded double spin kick sends them both down. Samoa Joe is intrigued and comes out to the ramp to watch. He obviously doesn’t use Tide, because his towel still has Christopher Daniels’ blood on it. AJ is knocked out to the apron. He catches Sabin with a forearm though, and springboards back in to nail his Asai DDT. Sabin comes back with his running powerbomb for a two count. Sabin goes for the Cradle Shock, but AJ counters with a Styles Clash attempt. Sabin tries to backdrop AJ out of it, but AJ bounces off the top rope back into position and nails the Clash for the win. Even Joe looks slightly impressed.

A video package of the feud between Raven and Larry Zybysko follows the match. Shane Douglas is walking with Zybysko towards Raven’s car. He offers Raven his release again, but Raven refuses again. Larry says that has Raven booked for next week in a House of Fun match, but won’t say who the opponent is.

After commercials, Douglas is standing backstage with Christian. If I don’t add the Cage at the end, will I get sued? Christian says that after he was Pounced last week, he went and asked Zybysko for a match against Monty at Turning Point. He says that Monty shouldn’t be worried about Christian side stepping the Alpha Male, he’s going right through him. He tries to hit the catch phrase, but Gail Kim interrupts. Poor Christian, always getting interrupted around here. Kim says that Christian made the right choice, like her, to join TNA, but he picked the wrong allies. AMW also shows up to talk some smack. Storm says that there’s no way Christian is getting near the World Title and apologizes for his bad luck.

Jeff must’ve scored some pink body paint at Hot Topic this week, how cute. Hardy goes for an early Twist of Fate, which is countered into a Shock Treatment attempt by Abyss. Hardy fights out though and clotheslines Abyss to the outside. He tries to fly, but Abyss catches him and slams him spine first into the ringpost. Back in the ring, Abyss pays homage to the Godfather with a running charge that looked a lot like the Ho Train. He even did the silly dancing/running thing at the beginning. Not quite a Prancing Rossdale, but close. He goes for a second one, but Hardy avoids it. Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind, but only gets a two count. He misses an attempted Swanton. James Mitchell hands Abyss a chair, but the lights go out. When they come back, Sabu is at ringside with his trusty chair o’ barbed wire. The distraction is enough for Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate and get the win.

Sabu gets in the ring after the match and spooks Abyss some more.

Commercials precede a video package on Rhino and his background. They show some footage of Rhino’s pre-ECW days in Detroit.

I know of a certain someone in the DC area who’s marking out about Kip being in the main event. Jarrett ends the excitement by beating the crap out of Kip all over the ringside area. He refers to page 28 of the Jarrett playbook and takes Kip over the guard rail. They brawl around while a tiny security guy in green shorts holds back the crowd. He wasn’t quite a leprechaun, but close. Jarrett brings Kip back into the ring and hits his classic “running back of the thigh across the back of Kip’s neck” thing that Stone Cold also used to do. He goes for it again, but Kip gets out of the way. Kip hits the tilt-a-whirl slam, but only gets a two count. Kip hits his classic splash in the corner, but the Jarrett bails on the FameAsser attempt. He gets to his feet on the ramp when Jackie Gayda shows up. They argue back and forth until Jackie tries to get to Gail Kim. Jarrett shoves Jackie and gets slapped for his trouble. Jackie jumps Gail and Joel Gertner is screaming Catfight in his living room. Kip takes advantage of the situation, tosses Jarrett in the ring and hits the FameAsser. Alas, Jarrett kicks out and tears are shed near our nation’s capital. Bobby Roode takes advantage of the ref being distracted by more girl fighting action and breaks a hockey stick over Kip’s back. This allows Jarrett to get the pin and the victory.

Post-match, BG runs in to try to tell the ref what happened. Jarrett tries to jump him, but gets the jukin’ and jivin’ punches instead. Jarrett ducks the last one, and Roode follows up with his Northern Lariat clothesline to take care of BG. The rest of the Kru come down to try to even things up, but Team Canada also appears. The heels stand tall as the show fades to black with Jarrett trying to find Gail Kim.

· The whole Monty beats a jobber thing has run its course, can we end it? At least get a jobber who doesn’t look like Fat Layne Staley. I do like Monty’s reaction to the stupid crowd though. They chant, “One more time,” he sets up Jobbie McJobberson for the Pounce, but then walks away. It’s not as good as his fake out on tossing someone into the crowd, but it’s close.

· I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority on this, but I thought the 3 Live Kru segment was really good. That’s the best BG has been in years. Truth and Kip played their parts well. Here’s what I want to see come out of this though. I want Konnan to turn on the rest of them. His reaction wasn’t exactly genuine, so the seed is there. With the rumors about him setting up a faction with a debuting Homicide of ROH, it could work. I didn’t think the segment would work when I read about it, but it came off well.

· AJ v. Sabin was a solid TV match. I wonder if everyone else caught it, but I like how TNA has guys counter other guys’ signature moves often. Not just the finishers, but moves like AJ’s patented dropkick and others. With time and the right comments by Tenay and West, it will be a nice addition to matches. For now, I feel like I’m at a concert and I know the songs but the people around me don’t.

· Well, there goes the Jackie Gayda/Raven pairing that was rumored. They’ve mentioned Raven’s mystery girl enough to where there has to be some sort of payoff.

· Drunken James Storm is great.

· With all the hype the Barbed Wire Massacre is getting, I’m really starting to fear for Sabu’s safety. Not because of what Abyss is going to do, but what Sabu is going to do to himself. This guy was in the hospital this time last year, remember? I don’t think barbed wire matches were on the rehab list.

· Abyss sells his fear of the barbed wire really well. I can’t help but have flashbacks when Tenay talks about how Abyss has some deep fear of barbed wire that’s developed in his past though. If you’ve seen the Stranglemania videos with the Insane Clown Posse doing voice overs of Cactus “Sack” death matches in Japan and them explaining how he trained for the barbed wire, you’ll understand. I’m not a Juggalo or anything, but those videos are hilarious if you haven’t seen them. I’ll lose it if TNA brings in Deadly Fred and the Mushroom Boys. The Lamanama-maniacs would definitely be running wild.

· The main event was okay. I didn’t catch enough of the Jackie/Gail stuff to really know what was going on. Tenay and West were not helping either. I can’t say that I mind that much, Jackie and Gail on the screen is quite alright. If they’re fighting over Jarrett, I might cry though. That or dye my hair blonde again…

· Two more weeks of Impact and we already have Jarrett v. Rhino, Joe v. AJ, AMW v. Team 3-D, and Barbed Wire Massacre announced for Turning Point. Not too shabby…

Well, that about does it for me. If your curiosity if piqued by this recap, check out Impact Monday night at midnight. If not, I’ll be back next week as we roll on towards Turning Point ’05. Until then…