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OO YEAR END EXTRAVAGANZA  
The Three Faces of Sting 
January 9, 2006

by Jason Longshore 
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Well, it was an interesting Saturday for your favorite TNA recapper. Lesson #1 I learned was that it’s never good to break your finger when you’re playing goalkeeper for your soccer team. It’s even worse to do that during the warm ups before the game. It makes catching the ball during said game a little difficult at times. After 

our latest loss, we headed over to our local pub to drink our sorrows away and ended up staying the rest of the night. Hold on, I will tie this into this week’s recap. We were there long enough for me to get them to throw Impact on the TV’s at 11, so I will be able to throw in some comments from some non-wrestling fans on this week’s show.

Lesson #2 I’m learning right now, typing with a broken finger is a big pile of wet suck. We’re taped up and ready to go, so on to the recap…

The show kicked off with the now obligatory recap of last week’s episode. I’m glad this has become a standard, the production team is really doing a good job with these.

TEAM 3-D V. LEX LOVETT/BUCK QUARTERMAIN

Everyone’s favorite jobber tag team is back, hooray! Okay, I lied, nobody likes these goofs. Team 3-D especially hates them, as they commence with the ass kicking straight away. They hit a sweet sidewalk slam/leg drop combo early. Buck lands a couple of punches, to little effect. Devon gets a tag and cleans house. Buck gets leveled with Devon’s classic diving shoulder block. Ray comes back and it’s 3-D time for the win.

Ray grabs a mic and runs down their history. They’ve held the ECW, WCW, and (shrugging) WWE tag team title belts. He says they’d give up all eighteen of those title runs for one with the NWA World Tag Team titles. He says that the NWA title belts are the most prestigious in all of wrestling history. Winning those belts would put them at the top of the list when it comes to great tag team, putting them even ahead of the Road Warriors.

Sonjay Dutt talks about the greatness of Sting.

After commercials, Shane Douglas is in the locker room with the “cornerstones” of TNA. He asks AMW what they think about Ray’s promo, but Jarrett answers for them. He says that Team 3-D will just be another notch in AMW’s belts. He’s also all pissy about all of these Sting tributes, he wants to know why the “cornerstones” haven’t ever had a tribute done to them. He says that they’ll do their own tribute to Sting. Eric Young is worried about this, he asks, “Won’t that make him mad?” Jarrett says, “Yeah, it’s going to make him mad!” and sends him out of the room to find Monty Brown. Coach D’Amore shows up, with a letter from Jackie Gayda. He says that he’s read it, and wonders is Jarrett had a few too many Coors Lights and opened his mouth a little too much. Jarrett brushes it off, and also tells Gail Kim to settle down when she gets upset about the situation. D’Amore says that the letter mentions Canada. Jarrett shushes them all and says that they have to plan their tribute to Sting.

LATIN-AMERICAN EXCHANGE (APOLLO/HOMICIDE WITH KONNAN) V. THE NATURALS

Konnan bitches about BG and Kip before the Naturals come out. He says he has a new clique of Apollo (from the mean streets of Puerto Rico) and Homicide (from the mean streets of Brooklyn). He calls them the Latin-American Exchange. The Naturals come out and get attacked even before the bell can ring. They fight them off, until Konnan comes in and decks the ref for the DQ.

The LAE beat down The Naturals until BG and Kip show up. The double team Kip on the outside and ram him into the ringpost. Konnan decks BG in the ring and wants to do more, but Kip chases them off with a chair.

Chris Sabin talks about the greatness of Sting.

A video package puts over the greatness of Sting.

Shane Douglas tries to catch up with Larry Zybysko. Jackie Gayda is leaving his office, more than a little upset. Alex Shelley, Roderick Strong, and Austin Aries show up to complain to Larry about being left off the Final Resolution card. He says that he had to earn his way up the ladder back in his day and they’ll have to do the same. He says that if they’d stop whining and start winning, then they’d talk. Strong asks if beating some baseball players would get them on the show. They say there’s more to the X Division than AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels. Jerry Lynn shows up to get them for their upcoming match. He says that they should worry more about the match than their bitching.

RON KILLINGS V. BOBBY ROODE

Killings ducks a clothesline and rolls him up in less than 5 seconds.

Roode moans and cries about how he wasn’t ready. He resorts to calling Killings a “low life thug,” which leads to…

RON KILLINGS V. BOBBY ROODE

Roode takes control with punches. D’Amore hands him the dreaded hockey stick, but Killings rolls him up for another win.

D’Amore says that Killings can’t do it again, because Roode is ready for him now. That sort of talk of course leads to…

RON KILLINGS V. BOBBY ROODE

Roode takes Killings to the outside with a clothesline. Back in the ring, a snapmare and reverse chin lock take Killings out. The Truth is able to escape and they trade punches. Killings hits his extra twisty diving forearm. A powerslam to Roode gets a two count. D’Amore comes in, but gets set up for the Axe Kick by Killings. He takes too much time though, Roode nails him with the Northern Lariat and that’s all he needs to finally get a win.

AJ Styles talks about the greatness of Sting.

Shane Douglas is backstage with Samoa Joe, but Joe won’t answer Shane’s questions. The Franchise is just about to walk away when Joe finally grabs the mic. He says that Shane should be asking Christopher Daniels about Samoa Joe, not the other way around. He should ask Daniels about being in the hospital and how he wasn’t able to hold his new baby. Joe says that Daniels is stupid for getting back in the ring with him. He has a fresh new towel that will be covered in Daniels blood at Final Resolution. He says that he will end Daniels’ career. Douglas tries to ask Joe about Sting, but Joe walks away.

ALEX SHELLEY/RODERICK STRONG/AUSTIN ARIES V. AJ STYLES/CHRISTOPHER DANIELS/CHRIS SABIN

Sabin and Shelley trade moves early, until Shelley takes the advantage with the dreaded testicular claw. That’s not very scientific. Strong comes in and eats a hurricanrana from Sabin. Daniels and AJ come in to do a sweet double team move on Strong. AJ follows up with his patented dropkick. Shelley and Aries come in to help Strong. They all beat AJ down. Styles tries to fight away, but Shelley nails him with a kick. AJ then gets tossed into a nasty looking kick from Strong. Aries comes in to continue the beating, but AJ scores with the Pele kick. Daniels gets the hot tag and is the proverbial house of fire. He kills Shelley with a tilt a whirl backbreaker. He follows that with a sweet DDT/neckbreaker combo on Strong and Aries. Strong breaks up an attempted Angel’s Wings. Sabin and Daniels score with stereo suicide dives to the outside on Strong and Aries. Aries dumps Daniels into the ring steps, but AJ flies in from nowhere to clobber him. Meanwhile, Strong murders Sabin with a gutbuster variation in the ring, which Shelley follows up a flipping Diamond Cutter sort of move to get the win.

Christian talks about the greatness of Sting.

After commercials, Jarrett comes out to thunderous boos. He says that he knows Sting the best and he will give him the proper tribute. He introduces us to “Sting: The Early Years.” Eric Young comes out dressed like ‘80’s Sting, with cheesy music and neon tights to match. Chris Harris is next as 1996 Sting, after he turned dark according to Jarrett. He’s followed by James Storm in a chicken suit, who’s portraying Sting’s mascot, the Crow. Jarrett then introduces us to the modern Sting, saying no one even knows what he looks like now. Monty Brown comes out in a really bad golf outfit pushing a baby carriage. Jarrett says that Sting is a fan of Lifetime and the Oxygen Channel.

Christian comes out to save the day, telling them all that they look like jackoffs. Monty tells him “it’s entertainment” and asks him to come to the ring to do something about it. Christian says that he needs to “get the tables” which prompts Team 3-D to join the party. They rush the ring and toss out all the Stings, leaving only the Chicken. He gets tossed last and all is well, until Abyss shows up. He decks everybody, but Rhino is also here. Abyss eats a Gore to end the show.

POINTS OF RANDOMNESS

· I guess the Diamonds in the Rough needed the week off, so Lovett and Quartermain were called back in.

· Brother Devon has been working out A LOT. He looks to be in the best shape of his career. Brother Ray on the other hand…

· Ray’s promo about the NWA Tag Team titles was excellent and really elevated the titles. The shrugging before he said WWE was pretty funny, too.

· What does Jackie have on Jarrett and how does Canada play into it? Everybody knows that D’Amore was in on Raven getting screwed by Jarrett and AMW in Canada and losing the World Title. I’m intrigued.

· Eric Young’s “But won’t that make him mad?” question was hilarious. Skittish Eric Young is definitely becoming a favorite.

· I don’t know about their name, but the Latin-American Exchange segment served its purpose well. Konnan works so much better as a heel, he even masks the black hole of suck that is Apollo quite nicely.

· Random people at the bar recognized Billy Gunn, but not the Road Dogg. Poor BG…

· We missed the first bit of the show at the bar, but when the hype video for Sting started, people were yelling for him before they showed his name on the screen. I guess he does still have value, the non-wrestling fans were pretty excited about him showing up.

· I like the pairing of Shelley, Aries, and Strong. I don’t know the background of their group in Ring of Honor, so I have nothing to go on but their TNA work. Shelley would seem to work better as the leader to me, although Strong was doing most of the talking.

· The Killings v. Roode stuff came off better than I thought it would. Everyone at the bar enjoyed it. The Truth’s crazy spinning twisty flying forearm smash was a big hit.

· It’s a shame the stupid fans had to be heard during Joe’s promo. They cheered Joe when he talked about putting Daniels in the hospital, at least they didn’t cheer the comment about Daniels not being able to hold his newborn son. They cheered the promise of more blood being spilled, but weren’t as keen on Daniels’ career being ended. Yeah, we all know Joe is good in the ring, but HE IS A HEEL NOW. You aren’t supposed to cheer guys who want to hospitalize others and keep them from holding their newborn babies. I missed the day in school when we learned it was cool to cheer the guy with no redeeming qualities. I guess I’m not cool enough to get it.

· Joe did a very good job at coming across as a heel, the fans’ reaction notwithstanding.

· The six-man tag was a lot of fun and is worth checking out the Monday replay for. The bar loved Daniels’ big comeback and he came across as a great babyface. Shelley’s silly face stomp move got a whole lot of laughs. The match drew everybody in the bar in, with big reactions for most of it.

· I was surprised, but one of the guys really didn’t like Sabin. He talked about how Sabin playing to the crowd came off as cheesy. The guy talked about how when AJ and Daniels did it, it came off well, but Sabin looked stupid doing it. Almost on cue, Sabin started bouncing around and playing to the crowd, looking kind of silly. I never really noticed it, but he did have a point.

· The tribute wasn’t near as bad as I thought it would be. We didn’t have sound at the bar, so the segment was a little odd there. The Chicken was a huge hit, he would have been the babyface of the year if he had hit one offensive move. It just goes to show how great James Storm is, you put him in a chicken suit and he still gets over.

· Everybody liked the wild brawl at the end. Personally, I was a little disappointed the Chicken didn’t take a 3-D or something.

· Two guys I didn’t know at the bar said as the show ended and they were leaving, “We need to come back every Saturday and watch more ‘rasslin’” They weren’t rednecks, but they called it ‘rasslin’. I don’t know what that exactly means for TNA, but they were having a good time watching the show.

That’s going to do it for me, my finger is killing me and it’s time for some Advil. Next weekend is the Final Resolution PPV and I’ll be back on Friday with the first OO Forums’ Posse Prognostication Special of 2006. Until then…

E-MAIL JASON
BROWSE THE OO FEATURES ARCHIVE

Jason Longshore is your second-most-favorite wrestling fan/writer from Atlanta, GA.

 


  
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