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TNA IMPACT RECAP  
Meet the Two Newest Dudleys
May 26, 2006

by Jason Longshore 
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

It’s been a long week down here in the ATL. We headed up to Nashville on Tuesday for the US-Morocco soccer match. It was just a warm-up for the World Cup and doesn’t count for anything, but it’s never good to drop a game in the last minute. The drinks at the Red Door definitely helped though, check that place out whenever you’re in the Music City.

 
Enough cheap plugs for Nashville establishments, even though it does make for a nice lead-in to talk about TNA’s former home base of operations, on with the show…

We open up with the Senshi being announced for an X Division match.

SENSHI V. SHARK BOY V. JAY LETHAL V. ALEX SHELLEY

Tenay runs down Senshi’s history as Low Ki in TNA. The crowd chants for Low Ki. So, why isn’t he Low Ki? He trades moves with Lethal, until Shelley tags himself in. He calls for Shark Boy for some reason. Sharky scores with a reverse neckbreaker for a two count. He drops him face first into the knee, but Sharky avoids the mount in the corner. Senshi blind tags himself back in, and he hates sharks. Brutal kicks to Sharky, but Shelley and Lethal break up the pin. Alex and Senshi trade chops. Senshi hits his springboard spinning kick. Lethal catches Senshi with a middle rope heel kick, followed by a suplex. Shelley and Lethal fight it out on the turnbuckle. Senshi and Sharky get involved, and we get the traditional Tower of Doom spot. Tenay mentions the Spanish announce team, but they refuse to work while the cameras are on them. Senshi kills Shelley with a basement dropkick. He takes Lethal down, climbs to the top rope, and hits a middle of the ring double footstomp on Lethal’s chest. Holy crap! That makes Senshi the winner in his re-debut.

Kevin Nash walks out and lets Senshi walk past. He goes after Lethal, who’s still down in the ring. He hits the Jack Knife on Lethal, complete with Lethal filming it. Nash calls himself the undefeated X Division bully and soon to be X Division champion.

Borash is backstage with the potential King of the Mountain contenders. Everyone looks really intense. They then cut to an unnecessary Christy Hemme who tells that we’ll hear from Sting next. They better get that Knockouts DVD out soon so they can start getting a return on the Hemme investment.

Cool to see one of the awesome ESPN U2/World Cup commercials during the show. They really did a great job with those. Speaking of which, I’m taking volunteers for an Impact recapper on June 8. I’ll be hosting a World Cup kickoff party at the Brewhouse, our local soccer bar, and won’t get to see that show that night. Email me for more info.

We’re back with a nice video package on the rules of the King of the Mountain match. I think I’m in the minority, but I still love that match.

DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH V. AJ STYLES/CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

New outfits for the Diamonds, and they even paid two people to hold up signs in the crowd. Weird cut to how Styles/Daniels lost at the PPV, that was awkward. We’re back and straight into the match. Skipper gets tossed early, and Styles/Daniels bust out the double team moves on Young. AJ hits the Angry Man Knee Drop. Skipper cheap shots him from the outside, and Young slams Styles face first. Elix gets a two count on AJ. AJ tries to fight out, but gets beat down. He comes back with a sweet double Asai DDT. Daniels tags in and knocks the crap out of everybody, punctuated with a enziguiri/DDT combo. Skipper gets tossed, and AJ springs off of Young’s back to knock him into the guardrail. Ouch. Daniels gets the Angel’s Wings on Young. The ref is out with AJ and Skipper and doesn’t see AMW show up. Harris busts Daniels over the head with the billy club. He puts Young on top and the Diamonds get a cheap win.

Borash is backstage with an extra fired up Stinger. He apologizes for his yelling. He says he wants to see TNA move into the future, he says that can only happen if people are removed. He says Jarrett has the wrong motives, and he needs to be removed once and for all. He starts yelling again like a lunatic, and says he’s coming for Scotty Steiner too. He promises Scotty will get piefaced, goozled, and thrown into oblivion.

I think Sting needs to lay off the crack rock before his backstage interviews, but that’s just me.

This time around, we get a commercial for the WWE Wreckless Intent CD. A promo of the CD has been sitting, unopened, on my desk for a few weeks now.

I’m going to pretend that I didn’t see the Slammiversary “commercial”, I suggest you do the same.

Team 3D’s music hits, and Tenay says this wasn’t planned. It’s not Team 3D, it’s those clever rascals of the James Gang. Kip is painted brown and BG looks to be wearing a huge fat suit. Kip flexes a lot and rips off Devon’s “Testify” catchphrase. BG remembers to try a New York accent after the first few lines . He says Ray could actually button his shirt seven years ago, and says Ray’s been “eating for two” lately. He talks trash about the Dudleys history in Philly. BG cuts the act and gets all pissed off, saying the James Gang is the best tag team in professional wrestling history. He says that they elevated the Dudleys back in the day, and they were just big fish in a small pond before. BG challenges Team 3D to a match at Slammiversary, and he doesn’t care what the stipulations are.

They cut to a Raven pre-taped segment. He says he’s won a King of the Mountain and Jarrett’s won one. He wants to become a two-time NWA World Champion. Way too few big words for a standard Raven promo, maybe he was tired.

We come back from commercials to Borash freaking out like a schoolgirl. Jarrett starts his usual spiel, until Steiner cuts him off. He says Sting has “redneck luck.” That’s a new expression. He says he wants to wrestle tonight. He then threatens Samoa Joe, saying “nobody eyeballs Big Bad Booty Daddy.” That guy’s awesomely insane.

BOBBY ROODE V. ANDY DOUGLAS

Some tool was doing the Val Venis bump and grind dance during Roode’s entrance. And, he was wearing a construction hat while doing it. I don’t know either, I’m just saying. Roode takes control early with his power. Douglas gets all pissed off and backdrops Roode. I notice during this that referee Slick Johnson is wearing shorts. What the hell, did he lose a bet? Roode takes control with a back elbow. He whips Douglas hard into the corner, and stomps him down. Belly to back suplex gets a two count for Roode. Douglas fights out of a hold, and they trade punches. Douglas lands a high knee on Roode. A neckbreaker gets a two count. Tenay and West wonder what’s up with Slick’s wardrobe. Roode hits the Northern Lariat after D’Amore distracts Douglas. Match over.

Roode slides Douglas out of the ring. D’Amore gets a chair and Roode sets up. Chase Stevens makes the save, but Team Canada comes out to continue the beatdown. Chase gets his ass kicked in the ring. Rhino comes out to make the save. Roode avoids the Gore, but A-1 doesn’t. Rhino grabs a mic and says he requested a match from Zybysko. He wanted a handicap match with Roode and any member of Team Canada he chooses. He picks D’Amore to be Roode’s partner. The Franchise comes out again and he saying something to The Naturals.

Borash is backstage with Ron Killings. Killings reminds everybody that he’s a two time NWA World Champion. He breaks out a couple lines from his entrance song, and leaves Borash confused with all the hippity-hop music. I might be wrong, but Jeremy looks like the guy who loves nothing more than blasting his 98 Degrees CD.

Christian will be on commentary for the qualifying match.

KING OF THE MOUNTAIN QUALIFYING MATCH: MONTY BROWN V. RON KILLINGS

Monty didn’t do his usual “smell the camera” routine during the entrance. At least he still did the “wiping the forehead on the top rope” bit. Monty attacks Killings before the bell. Monty beats Killings down in the early going, but Ron comes back with a basement dropkick off the top rope. Killings hits a twisty headscissors, but Monty powers back and knocks Killings out to the floor. They brawl around the ring area as we head to the final commercial of the evening.

I’m really sick of seeing this stupid Alltel Wireless commercial, it’s on constantly. They do replay the World Cup commercial though to try to make it up to me. Go Ivory Coast!

Killings flies into Monty and they crash into the guardrail as we come back. Monty comes back as they fight it out in front of the announce table. Monty tosses Killings into the guardrail like he’s a rag doll. Killings tries to come back, but Monty objects to his dancing and continues with the pummeling. Back in the ring, Killings avoids Monty’s clotheslines and hits his twisty spinning forearm blast. He then hits his patented split/leg lariat combo. Killings gets a two count after a roll up. Monty comes back with an Alpha Bomb, but Killings kicks out. Monty decides to just punch Ron in the head in response. He hits a Fall Away Slam, and then chops Killings. Killings holds on to the ropes to avoid the Pounce, and then gets a pin out of nowhere to advance to the King of the Mountain match.

A music video gives us the highlights of the night as the show ends. It’s Raven, Jarrett, Steiner, and Sting left in the qualifying tournament.

POINTS OF RANDOMNESS

· I’m guessing we’ll see Steiner v. Sting and Raven v. Jarrett as the last two qualifiers. I’d think we’ll have to see Sting and Jarrett win those, wouldn’t we? I’m hoping that they’ll do something different, but I’m not expecting it.

· Senshi’s new finishing move is pretty damn crazy. I don’t think it’ll last too long, because it can’t be a popular move to take. Also, Brother Runt can’t be too happy about it.

· I’m cool with continuing the AMW v. Styles/Daniels feud. AMW does need an interview to explain why they interfered in the match with the Diamonds though. AMW won the match with AJ/Daniels on Impact, they won again at the PPV, why do they care enough to attack AJ and Daniels during somebody else’s match?

· I hope Shane Douglas’ involvement keeps The Naturals from continuing into jobber-dom. They’ve been ruling that land for a while now. Poor Chase and Andy…

· I’m interested to see what the reaction to the James Gang skit is. It would’ve worked better if BG had just gone off on Team 3D, without the silly imitation.

· Steiner definitely one-upped Sting in the “cracked out” interview segment contest. That Scotty’s got some talent.

· I’m going to have nightmares about the construction hat dancing guy.

· Pretty good main event, but those guys just don’t mesh very well. I think that was the best match they’ve had together though. I hope they have something in mind for Monty, but Killings was the right choice for a winner in this one.

I’m out of gas here, and tomorrow starts even earlier than usual. We’ll see who joins Christian, Abyss, and Killings in the King of the Mountain match next week. Until then…

E-MAIL JASON
BROWSE THE OO FEATURES ARCHIVE

Jason Longshore is your second-most-favorite wrestling fan/writer from Atlanta, GA.

 


  
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