Powered by LiquidWeb NEW SEARCH FEATURE! IT WORKS!
Search all of OO for news, columnists, and articles about your favorites!

 
News  -/-  Recaps  -/-  Columns  -/-  Features  -/-  Reference  -/-  Archives  -/-  Interact  -/-  Site Info
 

Donate to Online Onslaught!
CLICK HERE TO HELP KEEP OO ALIVE!
MAIN PAGE
NEWS
     Daily Onslaught
RECAPS
     RAW
     SmackDown!
     PPV
     NWA-TNA
     Heat
     Velocity
     Other 
COLUMNS
     Obtuse Angle
     RAW Satire
     The Broad
         Perspective

     Inside the Ropes
     OOld Tyme
         Rasslin' Revue
    
Circa/Dungeon 
     Title Wave
    
Crashing the
         Boards

     Deconstruction
     Smarky Awards
     Big in Japan
     Guest Columnists
     2 Out of 3 Falls
     Devil's Due
     The Ring
     The Little Things
     Timeline
    
SK Rants
    
The Mac Files
     Sq'd Circle Jerk
     TWiFW
FEATURES
     RAW vs. SD!:
         Brand Battle
 
     Cheap Heat 
     Year in Review
     Monday Wars
     Road to WM 

     Interviews
REFERENCE
     Title Histories
     Real Names
     PPV Results
     Smart Glossary
     Birthdays 
ARCHIVES 
INTERACT
     Message Boards
     Live Chat 
SITE INFO
     Contact
     OO History

If you attend a live show, or have any other news for us, just send an e-mail to this address!  We'd also love to hear from you if you've got suggestions or complaints about the site...  let us have it!

 
TNA IMPACT RECAP  
Who Will Sa-ay-ave Abyss' Soul?
December 1, 2006

by Jason Longshore 
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

There's just too much going on tonight. I think I might be the only person in the US flipping the channels between TNA, the Bengals v. Ravens NFL game, and the Copa Sudamericana game between Colo Colo of Chile and Pachuca of Mexico. Soccer, football, and Crack Rock TV? Hopefully, my head won't explode.
 

Nice start, Spike plays the wrong promo at the end of CSI, pulling the old one for the 2 hour special of Impact and Kurt Angle's in-ring debut...

TNA, we are wrestling...

Highlights from last week kick things off. It's TOMKO!!!

Random new blond interviewer backstage with LAX. Konnan says she's nervous, and she should be because she's in the presence of greatness. He says that “Canadian pygmy” Petey and Kurt are going to find out what thug life is all about tonight.

Fireworks, lasers, So Cal Val blowing kisses, and pyro!

Christian, accompanied by Tomko, comes down to the ring. Tenay informs us that Abyss will be defending the NWA World Title against both Christian and Sting at Turning Point. Christian wants to formally introduce us to “the only man he trusts” in the wrestling business, Tomko. Nice hats, guys. Christian says TNA is “putting the screws” to him by putting him into a triple threat match. He says that he's “so damn good” that he's planning on taking out both of his Turning Point opponents tonight. He says that Tomko knows Abyss, and he then invites Abyss to come out. Tenay wonders what Christian's talking about.

Cue the circus, Abyss and Mitchell head down to the ring. “Come on you big slobbering retard,” Christian says. He says Abyss remembers Tomko. Mitchell keeps Abyss on the ramp. Sting's music hits and he repels down to the broadcast table. Except it isn't Sting, it's a Sting mannequin. Sting attacks from behind swinging his bat. Christian and Tomko bail. Sting says he wants to talk to Abyss ALONE tonight.

Hooray, it's week 2 of the VKM Chronicles. He says that Vince just has to sign their cease and desist order to prevent war. He then says that that VKM has two words for Vince, “Stop Please”. Then, BG is talking through a traffic cone saying, “Vince McMahon come out with your pants up.”

Homicide and Hernandez attacked James Storm during the commercial break. The random new blond interviewer screams for help.

#1 CONTENDER'S MATCH FOR THE X DIVISION TITLE: CHRIS SABIN V. SONJAY DUTT V. JAY LETHAL

Chris Harris interrupts the announcers to say that he's looking for LAX. Christopher Daniels is joining the Dynamic Duo on commentary. Sabin gets tossed, and Dutt gets a roll up for two. Jay hits his carwheeling dropkick on Dutt. He catches Sabin coming back with a sweet backbreaker for two. Sonjay comes back with his crazy flipping DDT for a two count. Lethal side steps a springboard moonsault by Dutt and hits a sick full nelson suplex. Sabin tosses Lethal to the outside and gets the win on Dutt.

Sabin goes over to trash talk Daniels after the match. Jerry Lynn breaks them up.

THERE'S A COMMOTION GOING ON IN THE BACK. Harris is tied up to a stair rail and Homicide and Hernandez are beating on him. Gail Kim shows up to make the save.

We go from the “DREAM MATCH OF THE DECADE” to “THE REMATCH THE WRESTLING WORLD HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT” at Turning Point.

VKM is back for part two. BG is talking through the parking cone, telling Vince to leave the fat, oily guy in the building.

Ms. Brooks is in the crowd looking for Eric Young. Jeremy Borash has now been relegated to hosting the TNA SPOTLIGHT segment. The music is really bad, it sounds like a theme song to a Mexican lucha libre cartoon.

Tenay wants to know what's going on with AJ Styles. He tried to get inside the mind of AJ earlier today with a sitdown interview. AJ is wearing his brown leather bomber jacket. He says that he and Daniels will get over their current problems. Tenay wants to know why AJ doesn't trust Rhino, AJ says it seems like Rhino wants something from him. Tenay says something about AJ coming from humble beginnings. AJ goes off on Tenay, saying he doesn't know him. AJ talks about his childhood living in the trailer, saying Tenay knows nothing about it. Tenay says that he, Daniels, and Rhino are just trying to help AJ. AJ gets SUPER PISSED, going off on Tenay. Rhino shows up to say he can relate to AJ and what he's been through. AJ says that it's funny that Rhino just keeps showing up lately. He says that if it happens again, he's going to get hurt.

We show up to the drug testing portion for the PCS, the Paparazzi Championship Series. Shelley, Starr, Dutt, Lethal, and Senshi are there. Doctor Nash informs Shelley that he has chlamydia. The PCS begins December 10.

RON KILLINGS/LANCE HOYT V. ALEX SHELLEY/AUSTIN STARR

Killings drops Shelley face first wheelbarrow style. Hoyt takes Starr out with a big boot. Killings flies to the outside, taking both Shelley and Starr out. Eric Young shows up in the crowd. Hoyt whiffs on a big boot in the corner, and Starr comes back with a dropkick to the back of the head. Starr goes up top, but Shelley tags in. Killings takes Starr down, and Hoyt goes for a slam. Shelley reverses it into a roll up and wins with a handful of tights.

Starr shows the ref on the Paparazzi cam that Shelley had a handful of tights. The ref reverses the decision upon seeing the video evidence.

Ms. Brooks and Eric Young are backstage. The random blond comes running in, Eric calls her Latitia (I'm totally guessing on the spelling) and says that he's accepting Ms. Brooks' bikini challenge.

I want the TNA music CD just so I can play the Abyss theme every morning when I wake up.

Back to VKM, BG and Kip stay outside of WWE headquarters all night. Kip had a nightmare about DX and that fat guy. BG asks if the fat guy was putting oil on himself. Kip says yes, and they have to abort the mission. BG says that it wasn't a nightmare, they actually did that on TV. BG says that they have to stand up for quality television and make it stop.

Sting comes down to the ring and calls for Abyss to join him. The circus starts again, and Abyss does come out alone. Sting invites Abyss to have a seat, he declines. Sting says that every man has his own will. He says he's watched Abyss for the four years he's been coming in and out of TNA, and watched him climb the ladder of success. Sting says he doesn't know the mystery of Abyss' past. He says Abyss is a great athlete, but he lets Jim Mitchell lead him around like a “puppy dog”. He asks why Abyss lets Mitchell do that. Tenay asks if Sting is “preaching” to Abyss. Abyss sits down, looking sad. Sting asks Abyss if he wants to be his own man. He says Abyss' real name of Chris to many ooh's and ahh's.

Mitchell's cackling on the PandaTron interrupts the sermon. Mitchell says that Sting was just as evil as Abyss as Genesis. He then calls him a hypocrite. Sting tells Abyss to make his own choices.

Christian and Tomko attack Abyss! Tomko drops Abyss with a Torture Rack slam of some sort. Sting comes back down with his bat, Christian and Tomko bail. Sting offers his hand to help Abyss up. Mitchell comes down to the ring and gets between Sting and Abyss. He slaps Sting and Abyss leaves with him.

The random blond is backstage with Petey. LAX shows up to attack him. Konnan asks how Angle's going to do against LAX all by himself. They leave Petey lying.

NWA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: LAX V. KURT ANGLE/PETEY WILLIAMS

¡LAX SON CAMPEONS DEL MUNDO! West says he doesn't think Petey will be making it to the ring tonight. Hernandez starts out with Angle. It's a long way from the Office Depot for Hernandez. Angle slaps Hernandez in the corner on a break. Hernandez comes back with a kick in the gut. Tenay whines about LAX using “our own system against us” when he just said that these guys are American citizens. Angle comes back on Homicide with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He sets Homicide up for the Olympic Slam, but Hernandez chop blocks Angle. Homicide works the leg. Samoa Joe comes down to watch Angle's back. Hernandez puts the headlock on Angle. Angle fights out and drops him with a belly to back suplex. Joe wants the tag and he gets it. He kills Homicide with an enziguiri. Hernandez gets the running big boot/back senton combo. Homicide eats a nasty powerslam. Homicide tries to make a comeback, but Joe locks in the Kokina Clutch. Angle locks in the Ankle Lock on Hernandez. Cornette comes running out to ring the bell.

The LAX attorney is with Cornette, and Konnan also shows up. Cornette rules that since Joe was not an official part of the match as announced, that the match is being thrown out. Don West freaks out. Angle offers his hand to Joe in the ring, and we get the HANDSHAKE OF MUTUAL RESPECT to end the show.

POINTS OF RANDOMNESS

· This will be a little short, I have more Mexican futbol to watch tonight.

· Who the hell is this random blond interviewer? She's nicer to look at than Borash, but possibly half as smart.

· Good segments with Christian/Tomko, Abyss/Mitchell, and Sting tonight to build to the triple threat at the PPV. Christian is really at his best right now, and I'm digging the stuff between Sting and Abyss. Will we finally get to know Abyss' background? Christian is claiming Abyss knows Tomko, and Sting called him by his real name of Chris. I'm just waiting for the storyline where Abyss gets a “little buddy” and tells somebody to “suck it”. Can Eric Young sign up for this, please?

· The Tenay/AJ Styles segment was great, even though I don't think it exactly accomplished what it set out to do. If it was to make Mike Tenay even less likable, then mission accomplished. He obviously touched a nerve with AJ talking about his background, then make the comment about himself, Daniels, and Rhino “just trying to help” AJ. Anybody would be pissed at that smug, self-rightous prick after saying that. AJ played his part well. I'd rather see the return of cocky AJ Styles, circa 2002, but this will do. I'm really interested to see the match between AJ/Rhino.

· If Senshi would have thrown his cup of piss at somebody, I would have bought his shirt.

· I didn't mind the VKM stuff this time around, it was sort of funny and over really quickly.

· Good storyline in the main event, even if Tenay's comments about LAX using our system against us almost made me throw something. So let's take stock, Tenay doesn't like Southerners, people from trailer parks, and immigrants.

That's all from me, it's time for the ¡SUPER CLASICO! See y'all next week...

E-MAIL JASON
BROWSE THE OO FEATURES ARCHIVE

Jason Longshore is your second-most-favorite wrestling fan/writer from Atlanta, GA.

 


  
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
 
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!
 
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
 
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
 
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
 
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
 
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!
 
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
 
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over
 
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
 
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
 
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
 
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo
 
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
 
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome
 
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?
 
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power
 
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
 
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
 
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
 
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
 
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
 
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!
 
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
 
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
 
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

 

 

 


All contents are Copyright 1995-2014 by OOWrestling.com.  All rights reserved.
This website is not affiliated with WWE or any other professional wrestling organization.  Privacy Statement.