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BYTE THIS RECAP
7/12: The New Kids on the Block
July 15, 2002

by EC Ostermeyer
SlashWrestling.com/411Wrestling.com/OnlineOnslaught.com

 

This is the WWE Byte This! report for Friday, 12 July 2002, and I'm E.C.

I'm still in the middle of my company's move to it's new facility, so this week's report will be a Joe Friday Special, "Just the facts, ma'am!"

The

Opening credits

get preceded by a video of the Rock's triumphant return to Smackdown last night.

Your hosts are Kevin Kelly and Dr. Tom Prichard.
Dr. Tom is back from vacation in Pensacola, FL, and looks tanned and healthy.

They've dumped the Byte This! "studio audience" as a bad idea, but have added the "crew cam" giving us a behind the scenes look at Byte This producer Big Country, (6'7" 290 lbs), flunky Seth Mates, and Phone Guy Chris Vallo. Matt Duda lurks in the background, obviously up to no good.

Dr. Tom says that the Rock's return to Smackdown was the capstone on a great, eventful week for WWE.

Time for Droz with his weekly review of all things WWE. Droz has his new puppy with him, a Great Dane that's now almost as big as Kevin Kelly.

Droz and Kelly talk about the NWO's direction, Kevin Nash tearing his quadriceps muscle on Raw Monday night, and the ultimatum Shawn Michaels gave to HHH as regards rejoining the NWO.
Kelly says that the NWO is jinxed, with one thing after another happening to the group.
Dr. Tom says that the NWO's roots in the Kliq will stand the test, and that HHH will rejoin the group.
Droz says that a big factor in the NWO is The Big Show, but only if he remains focused and steps up to take the opportunity being offered, especially with Michaels, X-Pac, and possibly HHH involved.

Changing topics, Kelly asks Droz if Brock Lesnar will remain IC Champ after facing Rob Van Dam at Vengeance?
Droz says that this match-up has a lot of ECW flavor to it; since Lesnar doesn't need the IC Title because he's got a shot at the Undisputed Championship at SummerSlam. Kelly says that this looks like a case of Lesnar "teaching RVD a lesson."

Topic shifts to the return of the Rock.
A Chatroomer wonders if the Rock is better served by staying in Hollywood, doing movies?
Kelly says he doesn't think so, that the Rock's roots are in the WWE.

Droz checks out, and it's time for Kelly's Props:

Tommy Dreamer: we got to see the Dreamer of old, the real Innovator of Violence once more.
Monday Night's Main Event: props to everybody who were able to work through the Nash injury.
Chris Jericho: for making John Cena look good on Smackdown.
Kurt Angle for his great stick work on Smackdown and his performance in that show's Main Event.
Jackie and Trish: for laying an egg on national TV on Raw, and coming back to work the next day and work even harder. Dr. Tom says that Jackie needs some time in the developmental territories to get some seasoning. Kelly says that they both were looking to improve their craft, even being as mortified about the crummy match they put on.

"Tales from the Hook" time, as Tazz arrives and gives his spin on the Jackie/Trish fiasco. Tazz says that Trish is still a work in progress, while Jackie needs to be re-evaluated., as do the powers that be who put her on national TV so soon after Tough Enough. "They should have pulled a hold out there, " says Tazz, "and re-grouped, took a breather, and started up again. To keep working on the same routine with no break, you get no chance to correct your mistakes. You just make more of them."
Tazz says that he compares Trish/Jackie to Molly Holly/Torrie Wilson on Smackdown, where Molly's experience carried the less-talented Torrie through a good match. Jackie needs more matches like that.

Kelly also gives a prop for the editorial staff of Raw magazine for telling the unvarnished truth about the Steve Austin affair, "Stone Cold Steve Austin: The Untold Story."
That's it.
Nothing more about ol' Stone Cold.
How the mighty have fallen, eh?

Kelly asks Tazz how his recovery from surgery is going?
Tazz says he's got a foot growing out of his ribs now, with toenails and everything; and his kids' have been having fun hanging stuff from it.

Jimmy Snuka will be on "WWE Confidential" this Saturday.
"Fifty seven and he looks great!" says Kelly, "he even says he's ready for another run!"
"Oh my God!" says Tazz.

Kelly asks Tazz what it was like to be at ringside for the return of the Rock on Smackdown?

Tazz says he was glad the Rock made fun of Mark Lloyd.
"It's good for Lloyd to take some of Coach's heat."

Kelly wants to know if the anti-American gimmick that Test, Christian, and Lance Storm are doing seems successful?
Tazz says that it was great seeing them interrupting Lilian Garcia's "America The Beautiful, that any time you can interrupt Lilian is an occasion, because she's got a hair-trigger temper."

Some blather on the current situation in major league baseball, Bud Selig, bank robbery as a career choice, and more about Smackdown.
Tazz's refrigerator door is opening, he says, but we hear the "Beep! Beep! Beep!" sound of a big truck backing up.

As Tazz leaves, Kelly and Dr. Tom give their condolences to Jim Miranda's family on his passing.
Miranda was in Merchandising and Fan Services, and a great guy to talk with.
He will be missed, and badly.

A regular caller, Victor from California, gives his condolences to Kevin Nash about his injury. In answer to Kelly's question, Victor says that, no, he doesn't think the Big Show has what it takes to step up and lead the NWO in Nash's absence, which now looks to be at least six months and more.

And here's the lovely WWE Diva Dawn Marie, live on the phone.

Kelly ants to know Dawn Marie's feelings on being a WWE Diva.
Dawn Marie says that it all happened so fast, but that every day is a new exciting adventure.
"I'm really enjoying doing it," she says, adding that her biggest lesson learned is following her itinerary closely.
(We can hear Dawn Marie's parakeet screeching in the background.)

Kelly asks if Dawn Marie was more nervous debuting in ECW or in WWE?
Dawn Marie says ECW, without a doubt. Her WWE debut was the culmination of seven years of work getting to that level. She thanks Vince McMahon for making it so easy for her.

Dr. Tom asks what it's like being a Diva?
Dawn Marie says she is really enjoying it a lot, posing and wrestling. She's worked all this week on the road with Torrie Wiilson.
Dawn Marie described the last week with ECW, saying that it was a surprise when Paul Heyman called her and told her that the show was over.
"It taught me that nothing lasts forever, so you enjoy it as much as possible while you can, because it won't be there one day."

Dawn Marie credits Lance Storm and Shane Douglas for their critiquing of her matches and giving her the necessary knowledge.
Also:
"Bubba Ray Dudley made sure I did everything right," she says, "he showed me why it's so important to be on time, to train every day, to critique and review everything you do."

Dawn Marie relates sitting in with Moolah and Mae at the "WWE Divas Undressed" shoot. Kelly makes some snide comment about Mae and the booze, but Dawn Marie says all Mae had was a coke with "something extra added," which gets an "Oh ho!" from Kelly and Dr. Tom.

Caller Donovan from Syracuse, NY wants to know if Dawn Marie "is shaved?"
Kelly and Dr. Tom are both suitably outraged.
Dawn Marie giggles and says that, yes, she shaves her legs every week, which I don't think really answers the question Donovan posed.

An Instant Feedback question wants to know if Dawn Marie is spoken for?
The answer is yes, Simon Diamond is the lucky man.
Kelly gets to talk to Mr. Diamond, and congratulate him on his luck.
Kelly wants to know how many pairs of shoes she owns?
"Two thousand three hundred sixty seven," says Mr. Diamond.
"Is she a "thong" person?"
"Granny briefs, actually," says Diamond.
As for his own career, Diamond says he's doing pro baseball again with a minor league team, and is surprised at how well things are going.
Kelly asks if Diamond is jealous that his fiancee is in WWE and not him?
Diamond says no, she's the one who succeeded because she was so into the business.

Anthony, a regular caller, wants to know Dawn Marie's measurements, and if she wants to be a manager?
"36C-25-36," says Dawn Marie, "and, no because I learned how to wrestle just as ECW was closing down, so for now,  I want to wrestle. I am trying real hard, because it is giving me a whole different avenue into the business. Having the wrestling knowledge, I know I could do better as a manager. Wrestler first, then manager."

Dawn Marie leaves, and Dr. Tom gets in a shot at caller Donovan from Syracuse for asking the "are you shaved?" question.

Kelly says he learned all the questions never to ask in Florida State's Radio/TV broadcast school, so he has the couth that Donovan doesn't.
"Want to hear some?"
Dr. Tom says he doesn't want to hear ANY of them, thank you!

We take a break with a video of the Smackdown skit featuring Jamie Noble, Nidia, and Tajiri chowing down at the all-you-can-eat buffet in Atlantic City.
Things get a little too much like that food'n' sex scene from the movie "Tom Jones."
Man, Nidia shows some extraordinary "food handling skills" she obviously never learned on Tough Enough!
Give that girl a plate of spaghetti, and watch the fun begin!

WWE Cruiserweight Champ Jamie Noble gets on the phone, and takes a heckuva ribbing about his work in Heartland Wrestling Association in Cincinnati. Dr. Tom says that Les Thatcher has been trying to call him for the past month about missing a series of matches. Noble laughs, saying that Vince had other plans for him, and for Dr. Tom to give Mr. Thatcher his regrets.

Noble recounts his past history as a pro wrestler in the independents, first moving to Florida, then going to Dean Malenko's school, next getting a tryout with WCW's Power Plant, then getting picked up by Jimmy Hart and taking part in the "Jung Dragons" angle.
"Then WCW got bought out, and I didn't know where or for who I was working  a couple of months there," says Noble.

Kelly asks about Noble's time in HWA?
Noble says he initially brushed off what Les Thatcher was trying to help him with, but that two days later, it finally hit him that this was his career key to the big time, to WWE. "Then I started paying attention."

Kelly asks if Noble ever thought he would finish his career and retire in the HWA?
Noble says no, he always knew he could succeed and get to WWE.

Kelly asks about how close to reality Noble's in-ring persona is?
Noble says it is pretty close; he's lived in a trailer, even put them together, so he guesses it's a nail-on-the-head character.

Kelly asks about Nidia as a kisser?
Noble says that every time he kisses Nidia, his wife buys a new piece of furniture.
"Last time, "he laughs, "I came home, and there was a new SUV in the front yard!"

Dr. Tom wants to know where Noble plans to take his character?
Noble says that he doesn't know just yet," but that there are hundreds of different erecti-, sorry, directions to go in," which gets a laugh.

About the WWE Cruiserweight Division's recipe for success, Noble says that all the cruiserweight wrestlers have to get on the same page, and get rougher, less choreographed, in order to build the fan interest in the cruiserweight division.
"In HWA, Shannon Moore and everybody wrestled hard," says Noble, " and that's what we have to do here in WWE to build the fan interest even more. I am obsessed with wrestling. Getting on with this shit. The money, everything I do, I do it like it's my last match, and I work it like that every night. I want the fans to think, 'wow, that guy Noble wrestled his ass off out there tonight!"

Yee-haw!
It's Ronnie from Rogersville, TN on the phone, complimenting Jamie Noble for the great job he did in the Jung Dragons.
"Do you think y'all kin whup thet thar Rey Mysterio, Jr?" asks Ronnie.
"Oh yeah," says Noble, with a dead-on Appalachian up-a-holler accent.
Ronnie signs off, saying that he'll be back next week with a review of the new "Halloween" movie.
Kelly and Dr. Tom "cain't wait!"

As Ronnie leaves, Kelly compliments Noble on being able to understand Ronnie.
"Shucks," snickers Noble, "tweren't nuthin'"

Dan from New York says that he will use one-syllable words in his question for Jamie Noble; who did he pattern his wrestling style after?
"Chris Benoit, no question," say Noble.
"Anyone else?"
"Juvi, Rey Jr. Guys like that are who I patterned myself after."
Dan asks if Noble will be looking forward to working with Rey Mysterio Jr.?
Noble says he's already wrestled Rey several times.
"I am a student of the game," says Noble, "so I know the moves he is gonna do."

Donovan from Syracuse calls back to apologize for his crummy behavior early in the show, and to ask Noble "if HE's shaved?"
"Wise-ass!" bellows Kelly...
"How'd he know I was shaved?" laughs Noble.

The Chatroom wants to know if Noble's family tree grows in a circle?
Kelly cracks up.

Kelly recalls the scary HWA  "Four-Team Table Match" at the "Red Barn."
Noble recounts the particulars, giving props to Ron Waterman, BJ Whitmer, Steve Bradley, and others. Dr. Tom says it was a PPV quality match in every sense of the word.
(Anybody got a tape of the match out there? This one sounds like a classic!)

The Chatroom wants Ronnie from Tennessee to replace Michael Cole on Smackdown.

Noble likes the brand split, but is afraid that as the top guys begin to get put back,  guys like him will be moved out to make room.
"I got scared he first time I got in the WWE locker room," says Noble, "the guys were so nice to me. Maybe too nice. I was just waiting for them to steal my gear, beat me up, do something nasty to haze me. But they all treat me like I'm one of them. It's great."

Kelly and Dr. Tom thank Jamie "BY-GOD" Noble for being on the show. Noble thanks them and leaves.
"This guy is the real deal, fans," says Kelly.

Noble leaves the show, as Kelly hammers Matt Duda, this week's Byte This! Phone Guy for letting Syracuse Donovan get through twice and pull the same stupid question twice! Duda shrugs.
"Donovan sand-bagged me the second time," he says, "he wanted to apologize to the fans for asking such a crummy question, and then snuck in a fast one!"

Kelly and Dr. Tom shill for the "Vengeance" online PPV signup beginning next week, including the WWE Online "Countdown to Vengeance" show from 5 to 7 PM.

Whoops, we missed Howard Finkel today.
Big Country says Fink is somewhere in the continental US.
How's that for accuracy?

Next week's guest is scheduled to be up-and-coming WWE superstar, John Cena.

Dr. Tom informs Kelly that, per Jim Ross' memo, he can no longer take OVW talent to lunch anymore.
Kelly looks hurt, then gets belligerent, saying he can take anybody he wants to lunch.
"Not on the company dime you can't, Kev," says Dr. Tom with a grin.

Sounds like a matter for the attorneys, doesn't it?

We close with the clip of the ECW re-birth in Atlanta last year, but not before we get the obligatory, every-week-without-fail, Paul Heyman "Skullet Shot" on the chyron.

See you next week.

E-MAIL EC
BROWSE THE BYTE THIS RECAP ARCHIVES


  
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