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BYTE THIS RECAP
Born Again into the Church of
Forbidden Love
December 11, 2002

by EC Ostermeyer
SlashWrestling.com/411Wrestling.com/OnlineOnslaught.com

 

This is the WWE Byte This! report for Friday, 6 December 2002, and I'm the forgotten man of the Internet Wrestling Community.

'Old coot,' indeed, Flea.
Yes, I may be old, but the reason I've survived this long is because I've always tried to follow my family motto:

We Gladly Feast On Those Who Would Persecute Us.*

Hmmm, I wonder how you'd taste with a side order of fava beans, Fleezie? Little stringy, yes, but nothing a spell in the pressure cooker wouldn't take care of...

Sorry, my mind was wandering.

Prior to this week's 

Opening credits

We get the curtain-jerker skit from last Thursday's "Smackdown" show, where self-confessed-right-here-on-Byte-This!-daddy's-girl, Dawn Marie Rinaldi declares that she's got the hots for her soon-to-be step-daughter, Torrie Wilson!
At which point, the WWE's Target Demographic goes into spasms thinking about these two, ummm, "getting together," and what it would look like. Dawn Marie then drives the gaff home by telling a shocked Torrie that the whole engagement-with-Torrie's-Dad-thing was just a ruse so she, Dawn Marie, could get close to Torrie's voluptuous bod herself. "Nobody makes a woman feel better than another woman," purrs Dawn Marie to an appalled Torrie, which sets off the Demographic once more.

Boy, Vince & Co. just aren't gonna give up on that HLA angle, are they?

Given Kevin Kelly's current testosterone titre, you'd think this would be the top story for this week's Byte This! show, right?
Wrong.

Both Kevin Kelly and Dr. Tom Prichard are gassing about which one of them can name the most legends of wrestling on live TV?
Huh?

Droz is up first with his "Two Cents," and the first topic covered is how Shawn Michaels seems to be molding things to his own purposes in the events leading up to his WWE Heavyweight Title defense at Armageddon.
"Whatever else he may be doing," say Droz, "last Monday showed that he's still fully capable of getting the job done."
Over to Smackdown, and the outstanding Fatal Four-Way match that saw Kurt Angle become the #1 contender for the Big Show's WWE World Title.
Dr. Tom asks if Angle has a chance at beating Big Show?
Droz says that, ordinarily, he'd say yes, but that he's seen a change in Big Show ever since he got the Title around his waist.
"He's more focused, more objective about keeping a hold on the Title," says Droz, "and don't forget, he's got Paul Heyman keeping his attention on the task at hand. This coupled with Big Show's determination to keep the Title may mean that Kurt Angle is in a world of hurt if he's the #1 contender at Armageddon."
Dr. Tom asks if Big Show will ever wise up about how Heyman is using him?
"I think Show's got an inkling," says Droz, "but I also think he feels that, if Heyman tries anything, Big Show will see it coming in time. I think he realizes that Heyman is only lending him his support just so long as it suits Heyman's purpose. Big Show knows that, the first time he slips up and loses the Title, Heyman will drop him like a hot rock, so Show's making sure that he never gets put in that position. We saw Big Show "making sure" when he choke-slammed Angle at the end of Angle's match Thursday night. Big Show has finally discovered the One Main Truth of wrestling: "When you wear the Title, you write the rules." I think he likes to write the rules."

Kelly asks Droz about Brock Lesnar's suspension, if it was valid?
"Stephanie McMahon dictated it," says Droz, "and she's the Smackdown GM. Lesnar may not like the way things turned out, but he went after Big Show and Paul Heyman when the GM told him not to. You break the rules, you pay the price."
Kelly comments that Lesnar hasn't been the same person since "Hell In A Cell."
Droz agrees, adding that we should not count Lesnar out just yet, especially after he showed that he was fully capable of manhandling Big Show.

Topic shifts to the surprising push Droz's old running buddy Albert has received of late, beginning with Albert's injuring the knee of Rey Mysterio.
Kelly ascribes it to "pent-up anger" on Albert's part.
Droz agrees, saying that the injury to Mysterio was Albert's way of telling everyone that he's back, and that this time he's here to stay.
"Albert showed everybody that his mean streak is still there, too," say Droz.
It is Dr. Tom's opinion that now is the time for Albert to take his opportunity, to "take his break. He may never have better chance than right now."

Since Kelly's bursting to say something about today's

Opening credits

Droz says that the whole "Dawn Marie-Torrie-Torrie's Dad" triangle will definitely bear watching. "We may not see anything, well, "overt," says Droz, "but, hey, you never know just what you will be seeing from week to week."
Kelly informs us that we will be seeing Act Two of "Forbidden Love" at the end of today's show. 
Right now we take a break and enjoy some highlights from this week's "Tough Enough 3" show, where contestant Jonah finds himself "on the throne" and "back to square one," if you get my drift.
Jonah's predicament isn't helped any by big ol' Bill DeMott pounding on the men's room door and hollering "Hurry UP in there!" 
Uh oh, looks like this is revenge on Jonah for him pulling that "neck injury" gag on his team-mates last week.
Wouldn't you know it, Al Snow comes to Jonah's rescue by bringing him a roll of toilet paper. 
Of course, the roll's got exactly three sheets on it.
Al tells Jonah "that's all there is," and to "use it wisely."
Everybody's laughing fit to bust.

Live in his car and on the cell-phone is Al Snow himself, who is still laughing at Jonah's discomfiture.
Dr. Tom says that Bradshaw's been in email contact from the WWE's World Promotional Tour, but that he's been having trouble getting through lately, and wonders if the web-rat working the emails fell asleep watching old Al Snow tapes?
"Ha ha, very funny, Prichard," says Al.
And just when Al's about to regale us with tales from Tough Enough 3, he gets pulled over by the Ohio State Police, I'm guessing for talking on a cell-phone while driving, and gets cut off in mid-sentence.

This leaves Kelly and Dr. Tom looking at each other.
Kelly asks Byte This! Phone Guru Chris Vallo what the deal is with Al Snow's phone call?
"Just a guess, Kev, " says Vallo, " but I think the State Police wouldn't take too kindly to Al continuing to talk on the cell phone while they write him up for driving and talking on the cell phone, right?"
Kelly and Dr. Tom extend their condolences to the family of Jeff Peterson, a young wrestler who died this past week from lymphoma, then also talked of Billy Travis and Tim "Mr. Wrestling" Woods both passing this week.
Kelly brings up that old saw about deaths occurring in threes.
Dr. Tom pooh-poohs the idea, saying that your time to go is your time, and the frequency rate don't enter into it. He then recalls the trouble OVW's Charlie Haas has had recently, both in the business and in family troubles.
Continuing in the OVW vein, Dr. Tom says he's amazed at the number of people in OVW who have joined the developmental program relatively late in their lives, past the 30 year mark. Guys like Rico, for instance.
Dr. Tom also issues a clarion call for the fans and especially the wrestlers themselves to learn the history of their sport.
"I told this 22-year old kid to get the same fire that Ricky Morton had, and the kid gave me a blank look," says Dr. Tom, "we need to learn and be proud of our history in this business."

The Chatroom says that the new sound system sounds too muffled, and in Kelly's case, it is, though that might actually be a good thing, truth be told.

Kelly says that they've got two tickets for an upcoming WWE venue in the Northeast, and for the fans in the region to email the show and win the tickets.
"Those of you living in Colorado might want to hold off punching in," says Kelly.
"What if they hop a flight, Kev?" asks Dr. Tom.
"Yeah, okay, whatever you want to do, folks," say Kelly.

Topic shifts to Scott Steiner joining, we think, Smackdown, after Stephanie McMahon got her, umm, "hooks" in him.
Dr. Tom says he doesn't know what Steiner's joining Smackdown will do for that promotion, though we might get an inkling on this week's "Velocity" show.
Lo and behold, here's Al Snow back on the cell phone again. Remarkably, he's not in police custody, either.
"I got a ticket for doing 79 mph," says Al, "he's right. I was."
"How much was the ticket?" asks Kelly.
"Uh, 90 bucks," says Al, "one good thing, they didn't find the crack whore in the trunk."
"90 bucks?" asks Dr. Tom, "that's lunch money for you, isn't it?"
"Ha ha," says Al, "I figure, it's a matter of playing the odds, right? This time I lost, is all."
"Who can we blame for this happening to Al?" asks Kelly."(Byte This producer Matt) Duda?"
"How about Big Country?" asks Al.
"Yeah, Big needs some major heat here," says Kelly, rubbing his hands with glee. "Big gets the blame."
"So, anything bad happens on Byte This! It's Big's fault, right?" says Al with a smirk.

Kelly asks Al's take on Jonah playing the rib on his fellow contestants.
Al says that in his 20 years in the business, that's the best rib he's ever seen played on a bunch of rookies. 
"They don't do ribs like that anymore," says Al, "That was the way ribs were done back when I first broke into the business. Talk about your "old school" style! Guys took pride in doing ribs like that, and for Jonah to pull that off and do it so convincingly, I was really impressed. Back me up here, Dr. Tom."
Dr. Tom agrees, but says he doesn't rib and he doesn't like being ribbed, either. Though the "Laxative-in-the-Smoothie" incident, well, that was simply "measured retaliation."
"Who you think put Jonah up to this, Dr. Tom?" asks Al.
"(Tough Enough's) Big," says Dr. Tom, "it's his style of rib, y'see." 
Kelly thinks the masterminds were Al and Bill DeMott.
"Oh, Bill would NEVER do something like that," says Dr. Tom with mock severity, "he doesn't rib, ever."
"Yeah, right," says Kelly, "so that just leaves you, Al."
"Me?!" says Al, "Never! I'm like Dr. Tom there. I don't rib, and I don't like being ribbed."

Al has a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT about Tough Enough 3. 
The final cut will be made by the fans themselves voting the night of the live show on Tough Enoughdotcom!
"Wow," says Dr. Tom, "talk about pressure!"
Al also puts to rest the gripes about the contestants getting to live in a house in Malibu, blah, blah.
"These kids worked their asses off," says Al, "and complaints from people about how tough THEY had it starting out in the business is just so much sour grapes. Everything has a price. Yes the kids live in a fancy house, but the price paid is that they get a camera shoved up their ass 24/7. No privacy at all. No private lives, no private time, even their phone calls are taped. You try living with a camera up your ass 24/7 and see how you like it."
"Y'know," says Dr. Tom slyly, "Kelly here's actually had a camera up his ass..." referring to Kev's recent "unpleasantness."
"Hey!" says Kelly, making the 'cut' sign to Matt Duda offstage, "that's enough of that!"
"What about Eric nailing that Icelandic chick, Al?" asks Dr. Tom, "didn't they get a few 'private moments?"
"Not too private," says Al, "they had to do a lot of 'editing!'"
"Ah," nods Dr. Tom sagely.
Kelly wants to know what the rush was in Eric hustling the lady out of the room so fast?
"Keep her around and save her for the rest of the guys, right?" says Kelly with a wink.
Dr. Tom's shaking his head in disgust.
"I, uhh, I'm not sure that's what Eric would have-" begins Al.
"The comments here are those of Kevin Kelly," says a straight-faced Dr. Tom, (doing the obligatory "PLEASE DON'T SUE US!" disclaimer), "and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the management, staff, or stockholders of WWE Inc."
"You are totally by yourself on that one, Kev," says Al, cracking up.

To the phones, where regular caller Jesse wants to know if there will be a "Tough Enough 4?"
Al thinks there 's a good possibility that TE 4 will be headed to MTV sometime soon.
"The talent that we've turned out means that the show's been a big plus for MTV and WWE," says Al, "it's a terrific show."

Kelly wants Al to compare the TE 3 cast to the previous contestants.
"This cast was a lot of fun," says Al, "they had a great sense of humor. I had a great time with them. Iceland was a great adventure for all of us. The shenanigans the cast and the trainers got into brought us all closer together."
Dr. Tom wants to know what that "Black Death" drink was like?
You can almost hear Al do a shudder at the thought.
"It was like drinking cough syrup," says Al, "and then it ate through your gut. Just murder!"

The Chatroom wants to know who Al thinks has been the most successful Tough Enough contestant who has had the most impact in the WWE so far?
"It's a toss-up between Maven and Chris Nowinski," says Al, "at one point I would have said Maven by himself, but he suffered that injury, and that gave Chris his chance to prove that he had what it takes."
"How about Nidia?" asks Kelly.
"Maven & Nowinski come to mind first," says Al, "because I'm in contact with them more. But Nidia's my girl. She'll always be my girl superstar for years to come. She's fantastic as far as her ability inside and outside the ring. Chris and Maven stand out because this is a male-oriented business, but that doesn't mean Nidia's work is any less than their's."
Kelly wraps up this segment, thanking Al for the announcement about the fans having the final cut.

As Al leaves, we get a short break with highlights from the "Los Guerreros Family Pride" moment on Smackdown.

Back to the studio, where Dr. Tom is staring off into space.
Whoops, he's seen himself on the monitor, obviously, and gets busy "fluffing up the 'do."

Live on the phone is Eddie Guerrero.
"What's up, homies?" says Eddie.
"How ya feelin', Eddie?" asks Kelly.
"Great," says Eddie, who is doing a passable Cheech Marin impression, "I'm just chilling at the house doin' the X-Box with my kids, vato! Only game it needs is one called "Low Rider!" Then we need another one that teaches you how to cheat to win."
Kelly wants to see the Guerrero family tree, because it seems to grow more branches from week to week.
"What are you trying to say, Kevin?" asks Eddie, going all kayfabe here.
"He's trying to say he wants to meet your cousin Chewy!" says Dr. Tom.
"We Guerreros are like the chili pepper," says Eddie, still in character, "we may be small, but we are spicy, and there's a lot of us! General Santa Anna's plan after he lost the war was to reclaim California and Texas. Well, we already have, but you just don't know it yet!"
"I think you guys reclaimed Stamford, too," says Dr. Tom with a laugh.
"Yeah," says Eddie, "that's right. You got Rey Mysterio and, of course, Los Guerreros!"

Kelly asks Eddie how much he's improved on the mic?
"It's all about diction," says Eddie, "the better diction you have, the more comfortable you become on the stick. Then, there's being in recovery, and getting in a program, and being spiritual, it all works toward building that comfort. That comfort builds into other areas of your life, your family, your values, your personal image, everything. Nowadays, being a wrestler doesn't mean just going out there and working in the ring. You got to meet the public and bring something to them, too. You have to be an entertainer now. You perform in the ring, on the mic, and in public, too. You have to bring that persona you have on the mic into the ring, and make it work there, too. What you are looking for is a total package persona, in ring and out. It's always a learning task, and there's always room for improvement."
"You can't fake the passion in the ring, can you?" says Dr.Tom.
"No, you can't," says Eddie.
"And it becomes infectious, too," says Dr. Tom, "we've seen how your passion has affected Chavo-"
"Wow, Chavo," says Eddie, "he's a new man out there."
"You could see it last night in Chavo's match with Kidman," says Dr. Tom, "he may have come up short, but it's gotta feel great the both of you being the tag champs."
"It is great," says Eddie, "and I get to work with my nephew; that's just awesome. Chavo is a great upcoming superstar, with the advances he's made in such a short time. I couldn't be happier for him. Chavo and I used to wear Hector's and whoever's tag belts and wrestle around in the backyard, so this is a childhood dream come true for us to actually be the tag champs. When I'm in the dressing room now, it's such a joy for us."
"Your dad and El Santo have both gotta be proud of you," says Dr. Tom.
"Hey, growing up, you were MY idol, Dr. Tom!" jokes Eddie.
"OUCH!" says Dr. Tom with a laugh.

"On a serious note, Eddie," says Kelly, "I know the spiritual enrichment you've had compares with what Shawn Michaels has been talking about. Talk about making mistakes, learning from them, and realizing that there is a different path in life."
"I get emotional talking about this," says Eddie with a catch in his voice, "Shawn Michaels is a complete wrestler with grace and charisma. We get so much heat when we do something wrong, that I do feel that we get in the right path by the grace of God. Our life and our work is to inspire hope in those who may not have any hope in their life. It doesn't mean that life will be a bed of roses. God does promise that we can get through it with hope and that we will grow through our trials and tribulations. Facing tribulations, you can either grow from it or you can let it get you down. I've experienced both of them, and what's been portrayed has obviously been my wrong choices, but I can carry that, no problem. I have a responsibility to my fans, my family and the Lord, to use the talent God gave me."
Kelly, who has recently found Christ, agrees, and adds a comment or two on the "Parable of the Talents," then apologizes for making the show religious in tone, but says that religion's a big part of Eddie's life now.
Kelly also remarks that Eddie's whole posture and carriage is different nowadays from when he first joined the company six months ago.
Eddie agrees, saying that he's a whole different person now than before. "I'm trying to follow the right path."

A Chatroomer asks if there is anything that Eddie could do to help young superstars make the right decisions in their lives, and if a wrestler would become addicted, is there anything Eddie or WWE can do to help them recover?
Eddie says that WWE already has a program that addresses addiction, but that the addict won't get help unless and until he asks for it.
"You gotta remember that help is out there, and you got to want it, because if you don't, you won't accept it even if it's forced on you. As far as me personally helping, of course I will. That's what life is: the giving of oneself to another. It's very selfish not to help someone. To keep what I've got, I got to give it away. That's what life is. It's what my faith in God is, loving him with all your heart and soul, and loving your neighbor as yourself."

The Chatroom wants to know where and when Eddie became a Christian, and who else in WWE is a Christian?
Eddie had the great blessing of growing up in a Christian family, but didn't know Christ personally until he went through the DUI, and he got down on his knees and asked the Lord to take over his life once more. 
"The Lord is my best friend," says Eddie, "I talk to him with respect, and I remember the sacrifice that was made for me."
Eddie names several members of WWE that are Christians, including Kurt Angle.

A Chatroomer wants to know if Shawn Michaels, by displaying his religious beliefs on T-shirts, lessens their impact?
Eddie thinks that's a good question, and says that, for himself, the personal issue is what you feel in your heart, but that you check your motives first.
"Don't do it," says Eddie, "just to say 'Look at me, I'm a Christian.' That's the wrong reason. I know what Shawn Michaels has portrayed to me is honest. He acknowledges his belief in Christ honestly, and if he wants to wear it on a T-shirt, who am I to judge?"
Kelly agrees that there are an awful lot of charlatans and cons out there, saying they are Christians but not acting like Christians.
"What sticks in my mind," says Eddie, "is Christ talking to the church leaders: 'On the outside you are like crystal, but inside you are corrupted.' With Shawn Michaels, we've seen the bad side of his life, and now we see the good side. What changed him, what made the difference, is Shawn's faith in God. Each of us are only accountable for ourselves. Christ doesn't tell us that he will take up our cross; each of us takes up our own cross.

The Chatroom wants to know what Eddie's favorite feud was?
"The one where I was playing with Chavo's mind," laughs Eddie, "Chavo and I had a ball with that one."
Eddie goes on to say how much he likes working the current series with Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio, and Edge.
Edie says that he's had the most fun wrestling Chris Benoit, that it started over in Japan.
"When I wrestle him," says Eddie, "it's like wrestling my brother. Very intense, very respectful, it's for real for us. We are business, doing what the office wants, but when we get in the ring, it's intense. When I face him, it's like 'oh boy, get in the gym, get in shape, make shure your wind is up." You can't afford to go half-way with Chris Benoit."

Dr. Tom wishes Eddie good luck from himself and Sandy.
Eddie thanks him, and says that he's had an opportunity to work with Kurt Angle, which is an event in itself.
"Any match gets more intense with Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle involved"
Kelly says that Eddie has helped to raise the quality level on Smackdown.
Eddie, embarrassed, thanks Kelly humbly.
"Thanks for having me on your show, Kevin. Thanks, Dr. Tom," says Eddie, ' you are Los Vatos Locos!"

We wrap the show with Part Two of "Torrie and Dawn Marie: The Passion That Must Not Be Named."

Oog!

See you next week.

E-MAIL EC
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