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Love Rhombus Reunion?
March 17, 2005

by PyroFalkon
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


I learned a hard lesson this week. I’m focusing on the wrong news items entirely. My fellow OO writers will probably lose some IQ reading this, but the just about the only new item I knew enough to chat about was the cancelled boxing match between Tonya Harding and a transvestite. Yet, I have no idea what was the deal with the psycho murderers running around until I read about it on Rick’s Monday newsbyte.

Now, I’m not like most of the people he complains about. That is, I don’t invest all my time into reality shows and crap like that… but I also tend to sit around stupid by not watching or reading any news at all. Except for wrestling and sports… and you know how important THAT is.  

Completely unrelated,

I’m already writing up my predictions for Wrestlemania. That way, I don’t fall into the trap of not thinking about my picks until two seconds before I need to submit them. Who knows, maybe my percentage will rise. And I said before, maybe no one else at OO or even WrestleLine cares about it as much as I do, but I’m one competitive son of a bitch, so I want to win! Or at least be above .500 this year.

Why am I telling you all this? Only to get past the ad box! Which I have, so it’s time to put on my recap cap.

Intro, Guest Rundown, Media Hype: I came to the party a few minutes late, and Steve Romero was running his mouth about how great the 80s were for wrestling and that Wrestlemania is going to rule the free world. Bob Orton, Chris Jericho, and Rick’s girl Trish Stratus will be on.

They recap the RAW side of things, and we’re off to…


Droz’s 22 Cents: Droz is on, opens about WWE Fucking Fantasy, and then cuts out within a minute. Huh. But he’s back soon after, and chats idly about Wrestlemania and the six-man ladder match. A caller is in and predicts Jericho to win it, which Droz thinks is a good pick.

Droz goes on to say that Kurt vs. Shawn will be the match of the night, and now he turns semi-interesting. He said that they’ll probably start kinda slow, feeling each other out at first, but then they’ll kick it into overdrive and go crazygonuts. Droz wraps up recapping what Cena did last week to Long, and saying that Cena may be frustrated but seems to have the will to go into Wrestlemania to win.

He’s out, and Marc goes to the chat room. Apparently, most of the people in there think it’s going to either Jericho or Benoit. Trish is coming up next, and Marc says he’ll be sure to ask her if she’s ever going to pose for Playboy, despite her saying the answer a thousand times before. I’m sure that question has relevance somewhere, but… well, I won’t go into it when you’ve heard it from Rick before.


Trish Brings It, Despite the Hosts Trying to Stop Her: Trish is on, sounding more sexy than necessary. She actually recognizes who Steve Romero is, calls him handsome, and then declares Marc Loyd the most recognizable wrestling personality from Canada aside from her. She giggles, and Benoit, Jericho, and Bret Hart die a little inside. But oh, what a sexy giggle… and I’m not even attracted to her!

Okay, what the hell was I talking about? Well, Marc blows his wad about Playboy, and Trish, as always, says “no.” She wants to leave her mark in the ring, because chicks like Torrie Wilson are known as “Hey, there goes that girl who did Playboy!” Trish doesn’t want that, and wants to be known as “Hey, there goes that girl who is the greatest women’s champion ever!”

They then go over the Spaztastic Duo of Christy and Lita, which is boring in practice but Trish is holding my attention. They segue to Trish calling the Twist of Fate a sneak attack and how she’s cute and everything and serves her purpose, but it’s merely funny that she and Lita are after her.

E-mail question in, that asks if Trish will hook up with Christian again. Trish says that they basically grew apart, and though she wouldn’t mind having Tomko in her corner again, she doesn’t need anyone in her entourage. Just her, herself, and her title. Gold!

Trish wets herself talking about how cool Wrestlemania is, and is nothing but complimentary to it. She’s excited about all of them, and is just as ready for this one as her first. She mentions on March 19, 2005, it will be her fifth anniversary in the WWE, and Wrestlemania 21 will be her sixth. She goes on about memorable moments about each of her five Wrestlemanias, thinking of all her matches from them easily.

At Marc’s prompting, Trish basically says she’s ready to beat the shit out of Christy. She says Christy won the Diva Search by shaking her butt, and while Christy shakes her ass, Trish kicks ass, and will prove it on Wrestlemania. Also gold… That’s gotta be a quote of the week, or something.

They chat about the new Stacker2 commercial that stars her, and the momentum slows a bit. It picks back up when Marc asks what other goals Trish has. Trish is completely out of character and says that comedy and Trish Stratus has been synonymous for awhile now, and if someone threw together a comedy film and asked her to be a part of it, she’d be all over it.

She also says that’s she’s wanted to co-host an Internet show, and if anyone thinks of a show that she could be on… Steve and Marc waste no time cat fighting about who gets tossed to put Trish on, until they agree she can just sit between them sometime. Trish giggles again (man, that is one sexy/cute giggle), and she’s out.

In the vein of WWE’s latest trend of, if I may borrow the phrase, Missing the Pointery, Marc and Steve pimp a $1.49 match you can buy from WWE.com, which is a bra and panties match between Trish and someone. Way to crap on her vow to be the women’s champ. Idiots.


Straight and Boring: “Cowboy” Bob Orton is in, sounding a little drunk. Marc opens by asking if Orton dreamed of entering the Hall of Fame. Orton replies “Yeah, a great honor,” and I honestly can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic.

Marc asks about Wrestlemania, and Orton fumbles his words as bad as his son when says that Wrestlemania has the same popularity as European soccer. Orton is then asked about how the wrestling scene has changed, and he answers that it’s become much more high-risk, and the “high-risk” stuff they did in the 80s is child’s play compared to today.

They blab about the cast, and… well, crap about Roddy Piper that’s just general praise… Blah.

They move on to Randy’s challenge of the Taker. Bob says that Randy showed a lot of guts challenging the Taker, and he won’t bet against him. He further says that Randy is bigger and stronger and faster than Bob was in his day. That leads him to talking about how athletes have evolved since the 80s, but he praises Flair for being able to keep up with the young guy.

E-mail question in that asks how it felt for Bob to see Randy accomplish so much in a short time. Bob says that it seems anytime Randy has the ball, he can run it with it, and he’s really proud. I ask you to submit your own joke here.

Marc changes subjects entirely and wants a story from Bob in the vein of Are We There Yet. He says that one night in Baltimore, he and Piper were waiting around after the end of a show. They went into the car, thinking they waited long enough, but then people were everywhere and tried to flip their car.

The last question is what the first thing will enter his mind when he comes into the Hall of Fame. He says that he’ll probably just be awed and show his appreciation. He says he’s looking forward to seeing them all again, just because they don’t get together much and can’t wait to see them again.

Marc wraps it up by congratulating him, and Bob’s out.


Another Mark in the “Entertaining” Column: Jericho is in, and starts by insulting the hosts, saying he’s got better things to do on Wednesdays than listen to two guys butcher his nicknames (they called him “Highlight of the Night” or something). He asks who he’s talking to, and Marc Loyd introduces himself. Jericho says “I should have known the moment I heard the mediocrity dripping out of your mouth.” If Trish’s jokes were gold, this was platinum.

Marc says how good he looks, that he looks as good as he did back in WCW. Jericho says that it could be because of growing up in Canada, where it’s 40 below and there’s nothing to do but walk around and drink beer. That toughens him up and freezes his bones, making him tough.

Steve asks him about the six-man ladder match, and Jericho breaks character by saying that it’s great to be working with those five guys who basically didn’t have anything else going on for Wrestlemania. He said that in Wrestlemania 19, when he was involved with HBK, and Wrestlemania 20, when he was involved with Trish, those were two of the best storylines going into it. Now he’s not part of anything, and rather than being left in the dark, he figured all six can do something to gain some great momentum in a fast and exciting match.

He chats about Benoit, and then Marc asks him about the pressure of dealing with the dangerous match stipulation. Jericho says that it is indeed pressure, but that’s why he likes it so much. He says that he knows the quality of the guys involved and that he’s looking forward to doing it.

Steve gets Jericho to talking about Fozzy, and how they’re doing all sorts of things like opening at Motorhead’s 30th anniversary show two days before Wrestlemania. He says he’s been a musician before a wrestler, and it’s really exciting to see it come to fruition.

Trivia question for the slimmest of reasons: what recent PPV used Fozzy’s song “Enemy” as its official song? They segue that to Jericho talking about his new weekly radio show on XM Radio. He says he’s becoming the renaissance man of the WWE with his radio and music stuff.

Marc says that he listens to the show, and does that make him cool? Jericho says that he will never be cool, but he’s got to the first of 16 rungs of the ladder of cool. He’s better than Josh Stromburger or whoever, and the ratings tripled now that he’s off the show. BURN! Steve follows that by kissing ass about how the ratings have quadrupled simply because Jericho is on.

Jericho then starts complaining that he started listening to Byte This! about the time Trish was on, and says the hosts are probably still drooling. Steve repeats how they asked her about Playboy, and Jericho says she’s just holding out for money.

Caller in who nails the question. Marc asks him who’s going to win the six-man ladder match, and the caller of course says Jericho will.

Marc then asks if Jericho watches Bottom Line. Jericho says no, because Marc is on it. But he’s just kidding: what Jericho really does is puts it on his Tivo, then fast-forwards past all the parts with Marc and just watches the matches. Marc says that he’s the opposite, watching all the parts with himself and then fast-forwarding past the matches. Heh, pretty funny.

An e-mailer asks if Jericho will ever pose for Playgirl, hopefully because she has a sense of humor and not because she really wants to know. Jericho replies by saying he already has three times, and once for Playboy when he was a woman, so you just have to look carefully at all the issues to see which ones he was in.

Closing Comments: My Internet fizzled here, and a less than a minute later when I got back to the show, they were done and showing the ending of this week’s RAW. So, that’s all I got for this week. Really good show, if you concentrate on Trish’s and Jericho’s parts. They were out of character for most of their interviews and extremely entertaining. Still, as usual, it’s not worth listening to unless you’re a fan of one of the guests. Fun show, though.

Question: What recent WWE PPV used the song “Enemy” by Fozzy as the official music?

Answer: No Way Out (2005)

Later on, all.



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