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Ooooooooohhh, Chavo~!
April 8, 2005

by PyroFalkon
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


A day late and twenty bucks short… I won’t go into the details of why this one is coming late, although I will admit it’s a million times more fun going from the archived version of the show. FF the video breaks, pause it if nature or food calls me… it’s great! Well, except that I have to deal with a movie trailer for no apparent reason 

before the show proper starts.  

And, unfortunately, you’ll have to deal with the ad box here. To steal a phrase that’s used a lot around here, I’m going to be phoning it in this week; part of that is not caring to get past the stupid thing.

Intro, Guest Rundown, Media Hype: Marc Loyd is by himself, and opens with exactly what you would expect him to: a Wrestlemania 21 recap. He says that some experts are saying WM21 will be the greatest Wrestlemania ever. Um… right.

We’re going to have Shawn Michaels on. This makes it his third appearance since I started doing this, only the second of which was entertaining. Hopefully this one will be too. We’re also getting Chavo Guerrero coming. Droz too, natch.

He moves onto RAW recapping… and then goes to the first break. Huh, no magazine or DVD pimping this week. Good deal.


Droz’s 25 Cents: Marc wishes him a happy birthday (April 7th specifically, Droz points out). They go over the whole Wrestlemania card, including Droz’s picks (he went 6-2, as he picked Orton over Taker and Akebono over Show). They move onto Batista, and Droz gets semi-interesting by talking about how he’s the targeted one now (instead of Trips), and that Batista has never been in this position. However, Droz says that if Batista stays grounded and focused, he’ll be fine and have a long title reign.

Marc wants to get back to the boring, so they recap the Eugene/Hogan/Hassan angle from Wrestlemania. From there they move onto WWE Fucking Fantasy, and then Droz is out. This annoys the piss out of me: Droz can be really fun and interesting, but Marc always steers him to recaps which are always boring. Blah.


Chavo Is Excellent: Chavo is in, and you can hear that he’s on his cell phone on the road somewhere. I’m waiting for a wrestler to be stopped by cop for talking on his cell while driving. I’d laugh, because I’m a dick.

Chavo is in character, acting indignant for “being screwed” out of his belt in the cruiserweight battle royal last week. They flip Bring The Interesting when Marc asks what was going through Chavo’s mind before the match, as he was the last one to the ring. Chavo replies that there’s a lot of strategy going on in his mind, because in the back he’s watching the other guys on a monitor. He watches their movements and figures out who to avoid and who is really set to gang up on him. Marc asks if that comes from experience, and Chavo confirms it, saying that it’s all about experience. He says that in the first couple years in the business, you’re just grateful for the chance to be in the ring. But now, he’s confident and prepared, and thinks he can beat anyone.

On a related note, Chavo gets inside Paul London’s head and says that he’s anxious for a one-on-one match, because London can’t beat him. Not only that, Chavo says, but London knows he can’t beat him. Chavo wants that match as soon as possible to get his title back and prove his dominance. Good stuff here, and very understated.

An e-mailed question asks if Chavo considers himself one of the best cruisers of all time because of the number of times he’s held it (Chavo is sure to tell us that he’s held it five times), and he asks who are some of the guys Chavo believes are the best cruisers of all time. Chavo basically dodges the first one, but says Rey Rey, Eddie, and Benoit were the best from now. He gets all Tazz-like again by saying that cruiserweights, at least for the WWE, are not so much a “weight class” as a “style.” He says the guys he’s talking about can wrestle anyone, heavyweight or cruiserweight. He adds Jericho’s and Dean Malenko’s names to the list, plus one name that I can’t figure out what he’s saying.

Marc says that Chavo should feel honored that the fans consider him one the best of all time. Chavo remembers he needs to be a heel, and says sure, maybe some think that, but you can’t just go by what the fans think. He says sometimes he’ll hear a fan say he sucks, but he certainly doesn’t. Chavo follows that up with a wrestling adage that goes “you’re only as good as your next match,” so you basically can’t get too big of a head no matter what the fans say.

Marc talks about Eddie’s match with Rey at Wrestlemania. Chavo plays the family card, saying that though Rey is a talented guy, Eddie’s doing all the work and Rey is just leeching off it. Chavo says that he doesn’t see the Latino Heat part of Eddie anymore, and it may have to do with how Eddie’s lost some of that when Rey started feeding off his work. Nicely done.

Caller in, who asks if Chavo will feud with Eddie again. Chavo says that he’s not wanting to fight against him again, but he wants to fight with him. He says that he wants Eddie to see his point of view, and get them on the same page. Someone from the chatroom asks a similar question, and Chavo replies with a similar response. Why they bothered having both, I’ll never know.

They switch subjects to Wrestlemania 21. Chavo said that it was fantastic, and that it was unusual but fun to watch it from a fan’s perspective since he didn’t have to prepare for a match.

They glossed over it for some reason, and they talk about some organization called Get Real or something. An e-mailer asks what is the hardest part of talking to kids or something, and Chavo replies that it’s tough getting into kids’ minds to listen to their parents… I think. I don’t know, this part was a little confusing to me. It all comes around to Chavo saying that he wishes there were more Mexican role models in the world; there are some in baseball, he says, but none in football or basketball. He hopes that his position allows some kids to go for their goals and achieve what they can.

E-mail question in that asks if being a part of the Guerrero family ever put tremendous pressure on him to perform well. He says that he definitely felt that pressure from day 1. He says that he had to honor the family name and had to deal with it, and try to create his own persona and identity at the same time.

A caller comes in who obviously doesn’t read OO, who asks whatever happened to Chavo Sr. (Chavo Jr. says “or as we like to call him, ‘Chavo Classic’”). He says that Classic is living in Cancun, and “living the good life,” then he lets it drop.

Marc wraps up the interview by asking what we can expect from Chavo. He replies and says that you can expect one word: excellence. No matter who it’s with or what the weight class is, he wants to give the fans their money’s worth and so on. He’s out, and that was one damn good segment.


Shawn Michaels the Bell Curve: Shawn is stone-cold sober, barely saying “Thanks” after Marc congratulates him for his effort in the match with Kurt Angle. Shawn elaborates, saying that he and Kurt focused simply on having the best match possible. He says that at this point of his career, he’s not worried about doing anything but putting on great matches.

Shawn goes out of character (in the “very weird for him as an actor” sense) by saying he needed to put on that great of a match, because if he didn’t they’d blame him. Marc asks him to follow up, and Shawn says that if the match was a stinker, he’d be blamed because of his past, or his injuries, or his age, and so on. I call bullshit; this seems like a pity-card thing. Shawn has said before that his past is pretty much part of his character now and not really an issue, so what does that have to do with anything? And as bad as Shawn’s back was, I’m sure Kurt’s neck was just as bad at points. Whatever.

Marc asks what Shawn was thinking when Kurt put the ankle-lock on him. Shawn breaks his wrestling character and says that at the point, he just thought “We did it, it’s over.” He says that in his heart, he knew the match had been special. He doesn’t care about wins or losses anymore, as long as he can put on great performances.

Shawn goes on to say that his match with Kurt is up there with his ladder match with Razor and the Iron Man Match with Bret as his favorite Wrestlemania moments. He says it’s especially great because of it happening this late in his career.

A caller is in who drops to his knees and kisses Shawn’s ass way too much about the Wrestlemania match to be plausible. I’m not saying the match was bad, but this kid sounds like he just finished watching it. “It was so cool!!! BEST MATCH EVER~!” Something tells me that if you played the call backwards you’d hear “BANK ON IT!!!”

Anyway, the caller asks what is Shawn’s favorite Wrestlemania 21 match that he was not involved in. Interesting question. Shawn says “I dunno,” because he didn’t get to watch any of them, even his own.

An e-mail asks if there is anyone else he would like to have a match with since he’s now faced Kurt. Shawn wants to face, oddly, Hulk Hogan because they’ve never worked together. Shawn says that he has no problem being booed out of the building for it, and he understands that it would be a completely different match than what he did with Kurt, but it would be great just for the feeling of doing it.

They prattle on about Muhammad Hassan, and then we have a caller. This woman, we learn, met Shawn two days before his Elimination Chamber match in 2000, and named her son after him. Hilariously, she says, “I named my son after you! His name is also Shawn!” If you don’t know why I find that funny, you don’t know me too well.

So anyway, this latest worker of the Department of Redundancy Department asks if he’s going to go for one more world title run, and whether it will be against Batista or Cena. Shawn replies that he has zero intention of going after a title, because it requires a lot of responsibility and time effort, which he doesn’t want to do. He doesn’t want to take the time away from his family (aw…), so he’s pleased more with what he’s doing now. Don’t mess with happy, people.

Blah blah blah, Rockers reunion, blah blah blah, it’s satisfying to see guys I trained or mentored succeed, blah blah blah. There are some technical issues, but Shawn eventually comes around to say that the business has changed, where guys won’t wrestle anymore and talk about how they had to deal with only 100 people in the stands and only made 15 bucks for the show. I don’t know how we got on this subject, but his take is pretty interesting. He says most people come into wrestling knowing they’ll make a decent living from it, and such a change is not necessarily a bad thing.

Shawn pimps his book at Marc’s prompt, which is coming, but it’s not around the corner or something. He gives an ETA of October or November, and that he’s taking his time to make sure it’s fine and perfect and all that. Marc thanks him, and Shawn’s out.

Marc fills time by pimping a new DVD, mag, and Shawn T-shirt. I guess he’s just making it up for not doing it in the intro. He previews that Rey Rey and Edge will be on next week, and then we’re done.

Closing Comments: I don’t get it. Shawn starts REAL slow, gets interesting, then tapers off again? Weird. But I’ll tell you, Chavo is a surprise. He was relaxed, talking sincerely without being preachy, and was overall a great guest. Very good.

It wasn’t a bad episode, and is certainly a step up from the trend of shit BT has been putting out lately. No need for Through The Bullshit this week, and next week I shouldn’t need it with Edge in the house. Like what Rick said in his great devil-influenced RAW recap last year, if the WWE gives me no reason to get creative, that’s all right by me.

To steal yet another line (this one from a completely different thing), I’m PyroFalkon, and I’ll try to do better the next time.

…I really need to come up with my own signoff line. 



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