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OO BYTE THIS RECAP
The Original Animal (well, ALMOST
Original)
July 7, 2005

by PyroFalkon
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Someone very dear to me passed away only a few hours ago. A BT recap is the last thing I want to do right now, but duty calls, and I’ve skipped out on enough recaps over the last year already. Just forgive me if I’m curt tonight.
 
Intro: As you may have read by now, Marc Loyd has been axed. Steve Romero is the lead announcer now. He spends a few seconds with the corporate “we wish Marc the best in his future endeavors” shit, then introduces the new co-host: Tood Grisham… er, Todd Grisham.  

Of course, while Steve does the announcing, he pulls an Orton and fumbles

literally four words every sentence. I may have my issues against Marc and Josh, but while they’re annoying, they’re much better than “irritating.”

Todd is not fucking up the language, but the BT crew insists on wasting like five minutes giving him gift wrapped presents. They recap their personnel decisions, including talking about Brock Lesnar, who is supposedly “begging” to come back. They run down the release list, but Rick already covered them. Steve says that Matt Morgan’s release is the most surprising of the list, although he read off the Dudley Boys too. Whatever.

Oh, one release they mentioned was not mentioned by The Rick: Joy Giovanni. That sound you hear? Apathy.

[break]

Droz: Recap of Raw. Recap of SD. Plug for the new DVD about the Road Warriors. Hype for the Road Warriors.

[break]

Heidenreich: Todd puts him over as being a great guy out of his character. (Which is a very odd statement in 2005 BT.) Crap about his feud with MNM. Hype that they’re auctioning his chocolate bar, whatever the fuck that means. More hype over his feud. Repetitive boring crap about himself. When asked to comment on all the draft picks SD got, he puts over Rob Conway and Stevie Richards first, and doesn’t put over Batista or Chris Benoit until Steve prompts him.

Heidenreich gets slightly interesting when he says that he and John Cena are friends, and that he will miss him. Revert to uninteresting crap about his former failed football career. Talk about his training. More talk about training. Putting himself over. He’s out.

Todd fills/wastes time looking at his gifts, which include the Torrie Wilson Playboy issue.

[break]

Road Warrior Animal: Animal is not on at first, so Todd and Steve shoot the shit about the Road Warriors’ history in general.

Animal gets on a couple minutes later. Puts over the DVD and his history. Talk about the Road Warriors’ debut. Talk about the spiky pads, face paint, and hairstyles. After a caller’s question, he says that the only thing he would change about his career was that he would have tried to get into the singles scene a bit more toward the end of his WWE career. He further says he may have tried to pull a Rock and acted in movies.

E-mailer asks how he feels about hearing Hawk’s name, and Animal basically says that it’s all cool and not really uncomfortable to talk about. When asked if he likes any teams on current WWE TV, he dodges, but he puts over the Dudleys for their tribute to Hawk’s death. Also puts over the midget impersonations and other parodies of the Road Warriors. (“Imitation is the best form of flattery.”) He says he actually believes that tag teams are the single greatest thing missing from WWE.

Caller asks about his favorite match, and he lists a few. Picks his favorite night as being their win against the Nasty Boys in MSG for the WWF belts. E-mailer asks who Animal would like to wrestle most who’s in the WWE now… Animal wants Batista, which Todd or Steve quickly dubs “Animal vs. Animal.” Also wants to team with Hogan, because that would be the “Hogan of wrestling with the Hogan of tag wrestling.”

Todd asks for Animal’s opinion on how the business could be better. Animal says that fans want to see big men… not that the smaller guys are worthless, but that they pay to see the large guys. He says that Hawk and he were before their time and would fit in great in today’s wrestling.

Random talk about their legacy. He’s out. They give a trivia question so someone can win a DVD.

[break]

Ending: Caller in, got the question right. WWE.com hype. Diva Search recap. New segments from now on called…

Romero’s Rant: 30 seconds of Steve Romero able to bitch about anything he wants to. The debut topic is: everything. Compliments to Grisham, compliments to Animal, agrees with Animal that WWE is missing tag teams.

Todd’s Take: 60 seconds for Todd to bitch about anything he wants to. He chooses to recap and hype the Hogan/HBK feud. Todd handles himself much better with the language. Steve may be the “senior” member, but damned if he and Loyd and Mathews all suck… Todd is a total natural.

Closing Comments: As I said literally in the last sentence, Todd is a natural to be in BT. Drop Romero, bring in Mathews, and we’ll have a good face/heel deal with BT.

Heidenreich was surprisingly lucid… Both he and Animal were great, I think. Droz was worthless. The show may have been interesting, but honestly, my heart isn’t in it and I don’t know whether I cared about what was said.

 
E-MAIL PYROFALKON

BROWSE THE BYTE THIS RECAP ARCHIVES


  
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