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OO BYTE THIS RECAP
The Whole F'n Show
February 3, 2006

by PyroFalkon
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Canadian Bulldog and I can agree on one thing: ice hockey is fun to watch. (Hockey to Canadians is like oxygen to us Americans.) Okay, sure, maybe I’m one of the few strange Americans who actually enjoys it, but so be it… a little part of me died inside when Mario Lemieux announced his retirement. A bigger part of me died when the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim announced they were dropping the word “Mighty” from the name, which is just silly. 
 
So I was discussing all this with my friend, whom you met last week in text form. While we were on the subject of the Penguins, I brought up their new logo. You see, I try not to hate new things just because they’re new. So I wondered whether I was right to be upset at the new shitty logo, opposed to the old kick-ass logo. Here’s what Zane had to say about it…   

 
Zane McFate: okay, the old one looks like an actual logo
Zane McFate:
the new one looks like a Disney/Pixar reject got smashed into 2D, had its color drained through harsh, non penguin-friendly methods, and was drafted into the NHL as a last-minute mascot to appeal to the kids

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Intro, Guest Rundown, Recaps: Only one guest this week, Rob Van Dam specifically. Todd recaps Royal Rumble, and in fact says that Rey Mysterio broke a record for being in the Rumble the longest ever. That… doesn’t smell right.

RAW recap, including an overly long chat about the ending, although he drops a neat little storyline tidbit we couldn’t get on Monday: Edge and Lita, for the first time in seven months, left the arena separately. Hmm… I smell a breakup!

A couple callers speak, nothing worth repeating. SmackDown! recap then, followed by another caller who’s basically worthless. I’m so bored, I hop to another part of the site to figure out whether I want to try out the WWE Fantasy game… I still need to play the GM Mode of WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006.

Anyway, sorry for the digression…

[break]

RVD, The Whole Fucking Segment: RVD calls in, opens by chatting in generalities about his return to the Rumble, nothing interesting. Todd brings up that RVD was eliminated by Rey, “who won by the way,” and RVD breaks character for a moment when he says that seeing a little guy win the Rumble is definitely new, and that it wouldn’t have happened a decade ago when larger wrestlers were getting the largest pushes. I call minor bullshit, because it wasn’t like Steve Austin and Bret Hart were giants, but they were the ones doing most of the work around the time. I get the point though.

RVD talks about Carlito and cuts a general, laid-back promo against him. I just noticed that RVD doesn’t really sound tired, just that he sounds like he’d prefer to do other things than this interview right now.

Injury talk, [words], his routine for getting back in shape, [words], he feels great now, [words], the injury had no long-term side-effects, [words]. Caller time!

Caller 1: RVD’s dream opponent for Wrestlemania 22? Sabu, even though it won’t happen. Heh.

Caller 2: Is One Night Stand coming back for 2006? Maybe, but probably.

Caller 3: Will the Hardcore Title come back? RVD wants it to come back.

No more callers for now. RVD issues some comments about Paul Heyman, saying that Heyman has no problem lying to face, but it was usually for good intentions. He says that Heyman is his favorite agent to work with even now, but “it’s not worth it for me to go to Louisville and OVW right now.” Huh…

Todd asks the next question in a way that is a nod to all us smarks: he says that it seems with some wrestlers, the fans don’t like them “no matter how much they’re shoved down our throats” [verbatim], and asks what RVD’s key is to maintaining his popularity. RVD answers that it’s mostly because he’s genuine, in interviews and the ring and everywhere.

Caller 4: Will you be at Saturday Night Main Event? RVD is not officially booked there yet, but he plans on being there.

Caller 5: Worthless.

Todd asks RVD about the photo shoot for RAW magazine. I already don’t care about diva photo shoots, so what makes you think I’d care about an RVD photo shoot?

Todd wants to play Rapid Fire/Word Association, and I’m starting a new rule from this episode on: no more recapping Rapid Fire/Word Association. It’s lame, and nobody cares.

That’s it… Todd hypes RVD merchandise, and RVD is gone.

[break]

Ending Crap: You know the drill.

Trivia Question: How long did RVD hold the ECW Television Title?

Caller 1: Will MNM keep the SmackDown! Tag Titles? Todd dodges.

Caller 2: 23 months. Correct! Caller wins the RVD DVD.

Caller 3: Worthless.

Caller 4: When is Maria coming to Byte This! again, and who’s a better champion between John Cena and Edge? Hopefully soon on Maria, and Edge is a better champion because he has better-quality matches. WOW, I’m a little surprised a WWE employee would say that.

We’re done.

Closing Comments: Meh. RVD got interesting toward the end, but for the most part was pretty drab. Check it out if you’re an RVD fan; otherwise, take a pass on it. 

 
E-MAIL PYROFALKON

BROWSE THE BYTE THIS RECAP ARCHIVES


  
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
 
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!
 
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
 
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
 
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
 
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
 
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!
 
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
 
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over
 
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
 
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
 
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
 
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo
 
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
 
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome
 
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?
 
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power
 
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
 
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
 
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
 
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
 
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
 
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!
 
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
 
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
 
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

 

 

 


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