by The Cubs Fan
OnlineOnslaught.com/TheCubsFan.com 

open.

Live, it's Denver, CO, where people are mostly just lined up to get into the arena at this point. A few people inside as we look at our hosts - Tazz and Cole. BOOOOOOOO. They're back on Heat (once again) because Vince said so.

Vengeance:

• Brock Lesnar (c) vs Big Show vs Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship
• Mr. McMahon vs Zach Gowen
• Sable vs Stephanie McMahon
• Undertaker vs John Cena

That's our jumping off point for the first video package of the night. Despite having little recent Undertaker/Cena footage, they do a tremendous job with this video package. Lots of clips of Cena beating people. Lots of posing. While we hear him talking about his one year anniversary, we get the footage of that match. Cena cheating to beat Orlando, and beating him up after. Undertaker's save, the music and color treatment changing with ominous funeral bells. Undertaker's speech to Orlando Jordan. Cena interrupting and talking about having the same deal with Undertaker back in the day - and we see it. Undertaker costing Cena his match. Cena's raps of the last few weeks - when Cena talks about old school Undertaker, we see footage of Old School Undertaker. Footage of Cena laying out Undertaker from weeks ago! You can't say piss on TNN. Their confrontation from two weeks ago. Lots of footage to make it look like they've encountered each other a lot more than they really have, and that's it. (3:20) Really really good - they've been able to do little with this feud (because Undertaker's had more pressing issues) but this made it seem important.

Moments Ago, Undertaker rode in.

Tazz pretends to ride his bike.

Later: Ultimo Dragon vs Kanyon! I guess he got the cable guy to reschedule.
Next: A special look at Zach Gowen

Part One of Zach Gowen on last night's Confidential. I'm not as interested in this. "I'm not a freak to be exploited. I'm a professional wrestler." The thing is, I kinda think that with two legs, Zach would be Spike Dudley. And Spike's probably not going to be main eventing a PPV any time soon. (8:36)

JVC Indecent Match Stipulation of Thursday. Why would Torrie make this deal?

Vengeance: Billy Gunn vs Jamie Noble, in an Indecent Proposal match.

Tazz drinks beer - he's getting ready for the APA Invitational. Cole explains that we actually have RULES: last man capable of drinking beer wins. Ah, so when Chuck and Johnny were out getting ready for this match last night, they were really hanging with the Rick?

Last Weekend: Ah, the APA in the Middle East vignette we saw last weekend. I don't think those invites are going to make it to the sons.

Next to the ramp, we've got a bar set up (with lots of destructible furniture) and "this is Funaki, SmackDown! #1 Announcer! Funaki live on Heat! Tonight at Vengeance, first annual APA Invitation. There will be fighting! There will be drinking! Fighting - fight can go anywhere, go thru door, bar, anything goes, so this will be one fight as only APA can give you. Okay, Michael Cole, Tazz, back to you!" Awesome.

Tazz and Cole make fun of Funaki's style (for SHAME) and then throw it to Chris Benoit vs Eddie Guerrero footage.

Similar well done bit as the Cena/Undertaker one, focusing on the interaction from SmackDown. Radicalz footage! Look, Perry Saturn! Did I ever tell you that the winner would be the 100th US Champion? Well there you go. (1:34)

Later: Ultimo Dragon vs Kanyon

Price to Play by Staind brings you the full lineup (1:47)

Announcers note the lame non-angle to explain SmackDown taking over the show. Well, not in those words. Hype for Sable/Stephanie leads in to the black bar footage. (:26)

Up in a sky box, Josh talks to Sable. "Josh, you haven't seen out of control yet! Because tonight, I'm going to beat the hell out of Stephanie McMahon, and embarrass her in a way she never thought possible. And as far as her being the General Manager of SmackDown!, in case you haven't notice Josh, I've got some stroke around here too." Off she walks. Funaki would've been better as the interviewer!

SmackDown Live!
7/29 - Colorado Springs, CO [SD!]
8/2 - Calgary, AB, Canada
8/3 - Edmonton, AB, Canada
8/5 - Kelowna, BC, Canada [SD!]
Only four dates?

Out on a bike someplace (probably the same place the last two vignettes were taped for SmackDown!), John Cena as West Virginia's Jerry West has yet more words for Undertaker

So now you change yourself
to the dead man walking
I'll leave you in a wheelchair dude
like Steven Hawking
what do fans like better
fitted caps and throwbacks
or a fairy like you
wearing assless leather chaps
I'm the front man
you're fake like vinyl siding
do your bad ass a favor
get off them hogs you ride
This is thuganomics, bro
you can't touch me
all that Dead Man Inc.
filling for bankruptcy me
armed with two steel chains
I'm going double soupbones
John Cena's your last ride
carve your name on Tombstones
And at Vengeance,
you soak up blood like a tampon
you get left like Zach Gowen
No leg to stand on.
What!

Josh is still in the skybox, and interviewing...no one. Ah, hype for Zach/Vince. "Zach's first official match in the WWE will be against Vince McMahon" which means there was no match on SmackDown or the other one where he won his contract. (3:49)

Earlier today, Rey Mysterio was talking to Zach Gowen, but out of our earshot. Well, maybe not out of earshot if Cole and Tazz didn't talk over this set of clips. I think Zach would have some problems trying to do a West Coast Pop, and he already does Dropping the Dime, so that leaves...

Next: Ultimo Dragon vs Kanyon

Stacker 2 Rey/Kidman win on Thursday

That's all you'll get to hype that match up, because we're low on time.

Ultimo Dragon (Nagoya, Japan, 185 pounds) vs Kanyon (Queens, NY, 242 pounds, already in the ring) - Lockup. Ultimo with a headlock. Ultimo shot into to the ropes, ducking a clothesline, rolling under a boot, boot catch leg sweep. Ultimo hop. Five Kick Combo. One two no. Kanyon crawls to the ropes but does not escape boots. Whip, Ultimo puts his head down, Kanyon throws him down backwards. Kick, split legged inverted powerslam! One two NO. Side backbreaker, hurt Kanyon's knee in the process but he'll cover now one two no. Slam. "WHO'S BETTA NOW?" Knee to the back, knee to the back. "KANYON SUCKS!" Kanyon throws Ultimo down again and covers, one tow no. Chinlock. Tazz still thinks Big Show in the main event. Ultimo elbowing out, coming back with strikes. Kanyon stops him with a kick, corner whip, Ultimo back with the WOW crossbody. Another crossbody is caught - Kanyon switches from blockbuster suplex to normal variety in mid move one two no. Kanyon with a fireman's carry and he's going up. DOA? Ultimo slips down the back, sunset flip bomb! That took a lot out of Dragon, and he rests in the corner. Kanyon charges, Dragon's kick goes over Kanyon and hits him in the back of the head. Kanyon takes a drop toe hold into the middle buckle and Dragon lets it on with the kicks to the butt. Whip, reversed, backdrop, Ultimo lands on his feet, waistlock, Kanyon breaks free with a back elbow. Kanyon with his own waistlock, Ultimo kicks free, spinning kick to the midsection and there's the Dragon Cutter one two three. (4:07) No real name for the move yet. Ultimo is 1-1 on TV matches today; Kanyon is no Dr. Wagner! Replay of the finish.

Triple Threat video package to end it. By the judge of it, someone watched those PPV promos and thought this was about Angle's road back, which has totally been forgotten since Zach Gowen showed up. I think that's a coincidence.(2:55)

Hey, they ended a little bit - 25 seconds - early. That's new. With all the history dropped in those video packages, I was almost expecting someone to note that this show was 5 years old, but nah.

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The Cubs Fan watches way too much watching television - you can read more
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