by Jonny X  
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Your hosts are Marc Loyd and Al Snow.

Godfather VS Val Venis

If Godfather is no longer a pimp, or the owner of a successful small business, or crappy wrestler, or whatever it was, then why does he still have the same music? In any case, I guess this is the blowoff for their big heated rivalry. I suppose it's good that Boss Man isn't on Jakked anymore, but I get the feeling I'll get to see this big oaf a lot more often now. You trade one lump of crap for another, I guess. Godfather uses his pimp cane to jab Venis in the stomach and score the pinfall. Just as awful as you picture it in your head.

Winner: Godfather

RECAP ALERT! Hulk Hogan and Triple H have a confrontation on Smackdown. While it was unremarkable to say the least, it was certainly better than Hunter directing his hostility at Hogan on a show that neither of them is really on. I mean come on, if that's the best they can come up with to get Hunter on RAW once in a while, then just don't have him at all.

Christian VS Funaki

Glad to see Funaki is back in his rightful place on the card. Do you think now that Stone Cold's on the other roster, all of Funaki's potential reasons for continued employment are now gone? I mean, TAKA's always injured, Tajiri can play the Japanese maniac better, and now his good buddy with lots of stroke is on the other roster. The only reason I can see for his continued employment is that with Saturn injured, they need someone to do all those jobs. They have an okay match, but like it's any secret who's going to win. Christian hits the Unprettier for the duke. No tantrum was necessary today apparently.

Winner: Christian

RECAP ALERT! Stone Cold and Undertaker fight over who will be the #1 Contender of on that wacky RAW Zone. I'd like to get into this feud, but I don't think I can time warp back to '98 to stop watching wrestling for that year and be able to act like this feud is fresh. Cuz it's not. The only difference is, both guys are older, more injured, and a lot less interesting to watch.

Backstage with Sharmell, Hugh Morrus is really happy to be back. Nothing can wipe the smile off his face. However, Lance Storm gives it a shot with a couple of good-natured slaps. Seeing interviews on Jakked seems wrong somehow.

Lance Storm VS Hugh Morrus

I guess this is the blowoff to their feud which began about 3 minutes ago before the commercials. Hey, with the dwindling attention span of wrestling audiences, I wouldn't be surprised to see feuds get entirely played out within the context of an elbow drop. They do have one splendid match despite the weirdness of seeing an interview and (mini) angle of Jakked. It goes on for at least seven minutes! And Lance and Hugh make the most of their extended match time by entertaining the hell out of me. But it was all for shit as they fall out of the ring and both get counted out. Lance puts on the Canadian Maple Leaf after the match anyway to draw the chorus of boos. Why couldn't they just have ended it? It's not like it'll damage anyone.

Backlash is on Sunday (well, yesterday actually)! Call your pay-per-view provider and order it. Or call Doc Brown to build you a time machine in order to travel back to a year when the second feud from the top actually meant something!

Soul Train!  

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Jonny X often wonders which country his one-letter last name comes from. He's been writing recaps for just over a year now, and his RAW work can be seen at www.theringpost.com and www.thesenetwork.com.

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