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WWE Rebellion
October 28, 2002

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


The center-piece of the SmackDown! roster's European Tour was the Rebellion PPV from the UK.

OO Reader Tony Cottam -- of www.SmashWrestling.com -- sent along the following report:

Stephanie opened the show with a promo explaining that the Undertaker would not be on the show (he was shown in the opening credits, though) but as part of the Big Show trade, Booker T would wrestle on the show tonight - nice way of explaining that, or trying to. Steph also set the main event as Edge vs. Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman - if Edge pins either Brock or Paul, he becomes WWE Champion.
Booker T def. Matt Hardy Version 1
Mattís entrance video tonight told us that "Matt loves English muffins" which is always nice to know. Matt also showed off his new "Era of Mattitude" shirt in this match, which lasted about 14 minutes and was full of all the spots youíd expect - even a Book End thrown in by Booker. Guess while The Rockís away, The Book will play... Booker took the win in the end after an Axe Kick, and we got a post match Spinaroonie.
Heyman confronted Steph about Ďhisí match, throwing every excuse at her - itís not fair, I didnít bring my trunks, etc. etc. Steph told him life wasnít fair, and Paul left muttering "youíre so much like your father".
Billy Kidman & Torrie Wilson def. John Cena & Dawn Marie
Very short mixed tag match, with Cena playing his new heel role very well, even slamming Torrie! Shock! Horror! The end came in 5 minutes, as Kidman pinned Cena, after allegedly hitting a Shooting Star Press, even though it looked like it missed, so much so that Tazz and Cole tried to cover it by claiming that the SSP is so devastating, you only need the slightest glance... shyeah, right! After the match, Torrie and Kidman played Tonsil Tennis - what is it with the WWE putting these real-life relationships on screen now?
A pretty pointless Edge interview came and went, using the usual "boyhood dream" and "since he was 9..." lines, and the next match was upon us.
Funaki def. Crash Holly
Funaki told us before the match that not only was he Smackdown #1 announcer, but tonight in Manchester, he was #1 top man. O.....K. Didnít know what to expect with these two, but what we got was a pretty good cruiserweight match up - lots of counterholds and reversals, and a funny spot where Crash pulled out a Karate Kid headband and did a lot of Karate-style poses. Funakiís response? He kicked him in the face. Nice try, Crash. Funaki eventually took the win in about 5 minutes when he blocked and reversed what looked to me like Crashís version of La Magistral and won the three count.
Backstage, after sniffing a security guard (donít ask) Nidia decided that she wanted to go home. Jamie Noble agreed, and said as soon as he won his match, theyíd head back to West Virginia - "Godís Country".
Meanwhile, Rey put his mask on and breathed a bit.
WWE Cruiserweight Title Three Way Dance
Jamie Noble (c) def. Tajiri & Rey Mysterio
Contested under ECW style Elimination rules, Tajiri was eliminated first in just under 3 minutes. Further enhancing the ECW style of this match, the crowd got on Nidiaís back with classic chants of "sheís a crack whore" and "sheís got herpes" - nice and friendly welcome from the Manchester crowd. From there we had a superb match - I would love to see a feud with these two if this is the standard of match that they put on. Noble retained his belt (surprise!) just short of 13 minutes after he blocked a Rey victory roll and Nidia helped him stay on top for the 3 count. Rey hit a double 619 on Jamie and Nidia after the match as they celebrated.
In a locker room, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit argue some more about who the team captain should be, Benoit pointing out who won at Unforgiven AND Smackdown. Angle went to leave and told him that he was the captain of the team and thatís true "bloody freakiní damn true" actually. Kurt rules, he really does.
D-Von & Ron Simmons def. The Big Valbowski and Chuck Palumbo
Well, not much to say about this match. At 5 minutes, it was just about right, and D-Von won with a roll up, holding the tights in a heelish manner. Chuck really needs to tighten his trunks as D-Von pulled them down. Most frightening move of the night...
Eddie and Chavo gave their thoughts on the upcoming tag team title match, and their surroundings. Eddie said he was so impressed with the welcome heíd got that when he got home he would tell Grandma that he loved Germany, until Chavo pointed out that they were actually in Ireland. Close, but no cigar. Chavo then started on a promo about how Mexicans rule - "You remember the alamo? I do - we won!" - and Eddie went as far to say that "fish and chips and English muffins suck". Now when a man insults fish and chips, then thatís fighting words, brother.
Fans of quality entertainment, skip the next 2 paragraphs.
Kiss my Ass match
Rikishi def. Albert
Every bit as bad as it sounds. Not even the shock of Albert with the mic before the match could make this better. For the record, Albert claims he is "wicked sexy" and his hair is all natural. Now thereís an image. Rikishi thankfully shut him up by taking the win in 8 minutes with a Banzai Drop, (although Cole called it a Rump Shaker) and Albert tried to avoid the asskissing. The referee told him to get back and face hit, so Albert came back and Baldobombed Rikishi, before attempting a stinkface of his own, but Rikishi blocked and got his own in.
But the fun doesnít stop there - oh no! Rikishi then went to do his dancing thing, but insisted that Tazz, Michael Cole and even Tony Chimel don the hat and do the dance. Lucky for us it didnít last long. Letís just say Tazz is as good at dancing as Albert is at shaving...
WWE Tag Team Titles
Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit def. Eddie and Chavo Guerrero
Absolutely incredible match, easily on a par with their Smackdown bout a couple of weeks ago. Angle was supremely over as a face for some reason, the crowd chanting "We Want Angle" nearly all the way through the match. Angle looked like he loved it. Huge suplexes for anyone named Guerrero, including a synchronised suplex spot that looked awesome. Hell, Benoit even wheeled out the Powerbomb - first time in a while thatís been seen!
Slightly worrying moment for Eddie, he went out of the ring, and referee Brian Hebner flashed the dreaded "X" sign as Angle and Chavo covered in the ring - thankfully Eddie recovered and finished the match with no problems. Donít know what happened, but everyone looked worried for a moment. Angle took the popular win after he Angleslammed Eddie just after the 16 minute mark, and we got another episode of the "Tag Partners who hate each other" saga with Benoit and Angle.
Backstage we go as Heyman attempts a push up, and fails miserably. Brock tells Heyman heíll snap him in half is Heyman allows himself to be pinned.
WWE Championship Handicap Match
Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman def. Edge
Edge came out to a huge face pop, although his coat did have a rip in the back... tut tut. Heyman came down with Tazz noting that he even taped his wrists up, and took his place cowering in the corner, where he would spend most of the match. Pretty good match from these two, Edge not looking out of place fighting for the title and Lesnar beginning to ooze confidence as a champion should. Heyman was knocked to the floor a few times, apart from one moment when he held Edge down so Lesnar could get a kick in, and he milked it, nearly doing a lap of honour around the ring.
Lesnar took the win after he hit Edge in the ribs with a chair and hit the F5 to retain his title. After the match, Heyman for some reason decided to attack Edge, poking him in the ribs with a chair - a bad move as Edge kicked the chair into Heymanís face and hit him with an Edge-o-cution to send the crowd home happy.
All in all, it was better than the usual standard that we usually get in the UK for our jumped up house shows... erm, sorry, PPVís. Not a bad example of how a Smackdown only PPV might go in the future (Tazz pointed out that this was a Smackdown only show a couple of times) and not without itís highpoints.

Big thanks to Tony of SmashWrestling for his report...


Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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