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Welcome Back to Planet Earth,
Roddy... Oh...  Wait...
December 5, 2002

by Scotty Szanto-Nicodemus
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


I want to expand on some of my comments from Monday.  I was an ECW freak, and I felt as though ECW died prematurely, leaving a gaping hole in the world o’ wrasslin’.  After that, I started watching WWF shows periodically, but mostly just felt like I was being reminded what I was missing in the first place.  I bought the WWA pay per views (yes, I was the one!) with the hopes that I’d get my fix, but that didn’t work out for a lot of reasons.  I also expanded my tape collection, buying tapes from JAPW, JCW, UPW, a “Best of the Indies” tape from RF Video, and most recently a tape from NWA Wildside…oh, and we also bought one of the Brian Pillman Memorial show tapes (not the one that we attended unfortunately).  My tape collection lacked focus because I had no one to guide me in making my decisions…I was buying tapes based on the recognition of one or two names on the card, and more than once I felt like I got burned.  It was at that time that I first approached Rick about reviewing Indy tapes for OO.  Let’s just say that I was less than convincing.

Eventually NWA: TNA started, and as a fan looking for a true alternative to the WWF(E), I felt obliged to purchase their programs.  When Vince Russo joined the company, he posted an interview on their website stating how excited he was to be working with the X-Division and he truly saw the X-Division as the future of wrasslin’.  I was excited to read that because I had similar aspirations for how far the X-Division could take TNA.  It took X to XV weeks for them to decide that they didn’t need The Dupps, but at that time the X-Division really started to dominate the TNA broadcasts, and I was able to take over these recaps for Rick.  All of my favorite X-Division competitors started to disappear after the first few weeks that I was recapping the shows, however.  They were replaced by washed-up WWF cast-offs and the shows became boring.

In only slightly related matters, my schedule at work changed so that I was no longer off Wednesday nights (when I was writing my recaps), and so now I am stuck with trying to squeeze the writing in so that it can be ready for Rick by Thursday afternoon.  That’s hard for me to do because I don’t type very fast, and it’d be exhausting for me to try and keep that schedule up for more than a few weeks…and so I guess I am turning-in my two weeks notice!  Not only am I going to stop writing these recaps, but also I am going to stop buying TNA shows and redirect the $40 every month to building my tape collection like I had originally planned.  This time I know a little more about what Indy promotions are out there, and almost everyone that emailed me about what promotions to watch pointed towards the same fed: Ring Of Honor.  I’ve already picked the first tape from them that I’m going to get, and I’ll go from there.  Hopefully, if enough people email Rick asking him to expand the Indy coverage, then I’ll be able to review one or tapes per month (which is a pace that I can handle), and it’ll be a win-win-win situation…you readers win by having more access to info on what Indy feds are out there; Rick wins by providing that info and hopefully attracting readers to read it; and finally I win by being able to spend my hard earned dollars on a product that I’m going to enjoy.  So again I ask you to contact Rick if you’d like to see greater Indy fed coverage after the new year, and then email me and let me know what feds you would like to see “get the rub” from being reviewed on OO.

I Get Letters™:  The following email came to me a couple of weeks ago from someone referring to himself or herself as “MC Lord Vader”: 

Hey. Just wanted to drop a line and tell you that someone actually does read your column. As a 27 yr old bass playing, hard drinking, somewhat intelligent wrestling fan, I always felt like the Rick was the one wresting columnist whose viewpoints I really share. I'm glad I've found another one (esp since we lost CRZ).

I've really started liking TNA and as the only member of my crew with free PPV access, I started taping the shows, and with the necrophilia on the Triple H show, everyone was looking for some real rasslin', and now they are hooked too. I hope it catches on. I even read your column if I did catch the show, just to see what you thought of it. Its been a good run so far, but I couldn't help but feel its all down hill from here as soon as I saw Vinnie Ru. And where the fuck is Low Ki? He is the man.

Anyway, big ups on the column and keep up the good work.

I really don’t know how to respond.  Nobody has ever offered me “big ups” before.  So before I get all teary-eyed let’s go to the ring!!

LIVE from the TNA Asylum…

In true WCW fashion, we start the show with the last few minutes of last week’s show.  I find it ironic that they chose to begin tonight’s show with the closing credits.  They show what happened after the cameras were turned off last week, which basically amounts to a little bit of nothing.  Tha Truth attacked Russo for costing him the World Title, and then the Harris Brothers escorted Russo away from ringside.

After the opening credits, Tenay and West are confused by bagpipe music playing over the loudspeakers.  Rowdy Roddy Piper finally makes his way to the ring.  My wife had fallen asleep on the couch during this segment, and when she woke up later, she said, “I had a nightmare that Rowdy Roddy Piper was on.”  I only wish that I had been the one that was asleep!  The gist of this promo is that Piper hates Vinnie Ru because for all the young guys in the back with dreams of making it in the business, Vinnie Ru will kill their dreams.  Somehow he winds up dragging Owen Hart’s name through the mud, blaming Russo’s form of Sports Entertainment and the drive for ratings over sport for Owen’s death.  Vinnie Ru makes his way to the ring eventually, and Piper asks him how he turned WCW from $67 million dollars in the good to $85 million dollars to the bad… “That’s genius,” he says.  Piper also refers to Russo’s form of Sports Entertainment as soft-core porn, and he isn’t really far from the truth in my eyes.  The Harris Brothers make it to the ring and help to escort Russo from the ring.

“The Professor” Mike Tenay and Don West preview the proceedings for tonight’s show.  You’re on your own if you are looking for me to preview the show for you!

Spanish Announce Team v. Divine Storm w/Trinity:  This match is the battle for bragging rights of Brooklyn.  I read somewhere that it is Quiet Storm, and not Brian Storm as I have been referring to him for weeks.  All of these performers were trained by Mikey Whipwreck.  The match starts kind of sloppy, skipping the feeling-out process entirely, which causes the flow of the match to be spotty at best.  When they reach the spot of the match when Trinity hits a moonsault from the top turnbuckle to the floor, DW informs us that she used to race jet skis professionally.  While the Maximos were climbing to the top, going for the Spanish Fly on Chris Divine, Trinity came into the ring and delivered a low blow to Jose, which allowed Storm to cover him for the pin.  Divine Storm are your winners as the S.A.T. continue to get no love from the TNA booking committee.

TNA Grrrls:  NWA Rocky Mountain – Thursday Dec. 5th – Community Center – Sturgis, SD – 8pm … NWA Wildside – Friday Dec. 6th – NWA Arena – Cornelia, GA – 8pm … NWA ECCW – Friday Dec. 6th – Royal Canadian Legion – Port Coquitlam, BC – 8pm … www.nwawrestling.com

Tha Truth pimps the silent auction.

Wildcat Chris Harris v. well, nobody actually because Vinnie Ru comes to the ring.

Vinnie Ru puts himself over, claiming that the NWA committee is full of old men that are not in touch with the fans.  When Russo tells Jeremy Borash to stop encouraging the crowd to chant “Russo Sucks”, Borash flips him the finger.  This promo drags on and on, with Vinnie Ru playing the Athena card.  If you’ve been watching these broadcasts, then you have seen the “We Want Athena” signs that are literally all over the crowd every week.  Russo says that TNA stands for Tits-N-Ass, and so he wants Athena to bear her breasts for the crowd.  She refuses of course, and Vinnie Ru repeatedly calls her a “wench” and a “bitch”.  I am less than entertained.  As the Harris Brothers make their way to the ring, Athena attacks Russo, and the promo reaches a weird part where none of the four people involved can keep from laughing.  Let’s wrap this up…Russo instructs the Harris Brothers to take-out Athena, and they hit her with two consecutive H-Bombs, and they leave her lying in the middle of the ring.

Bullet Bob is backstage and he reminds Ron and Don Harris that Russo doesn’t sign their paychecks.  He also tells them that they will wrassle against “the NWA’s finest” tonight.

As we come back to ringside, Chris Harris and James Storm are complaining to Mike Tenay (Harris says it’s “bullshit”), and Tenay makes some cryptic remarks about…well, let me just transcribe his remarks:  The man that’s allowing this to go down has been fighting and he’s been winning wrasslin’ wars for over thirty years.  The reason that I spoke-out last week is because I believe in him, and I suggest that you do the same.  Hmm…sounds like they are simmering some sort of “Powers That Be” storyline, don’t it?  My reaction to it all is this: I quit watching WCW by the time they started that storyline there, and if TNA is going to be WCW-Lite, there is no reason to expect that I am going to stick around for it now.

One more thing before the next match starts…we are 40 minutes into the show (one-third of the way through) and have had only one match so far.  That’s the sort of stuff that prompted some of my favorite webmasters to start the nWWWo back in the day.

Wildcat Chris Harris w/James Storm v. Bulldozer Brian Lee w/Slash, Father Mitchell and Belladonna:  This match is the first of two qualifying matches, with the winners competing against Father Mitchell in a Three-Way Bullrope Match later tonight.  I apologize in advance if I seem distracted when describing this match.  Not only has the first third of the show left me feeling like I am wasting my money, but this match itself isn’t exactly winning me over, considering that they are moving at about ¾ speed.  Belladonna distracted the ref so that Father Mitchell could pass a foreign object in to Lee, but Harris connects with the spear before the object comes into play, and gets the pin.  Harris advances to the 3-Way Bullrope Match, so we know that at least one of the AMW team will be in that match.

Goldy is backstage and she sticks a microphone in the middle of a conversation between Bullet Bob Armstrong and Ron “Tha Truth” Killings.  Killings wants Russo’s ass on a platter, and the easiest way to get to Russo is to go through Ron and Don Harris, so Armstrong asks Tha Truth to team with Jeff Jarrett in a tag match against the Harris Brothers later tonight.

Cowboy James Storm w/Chris Harris v. Slash w/Brian Lee, Father Mitchell and Belladonna:  The winner of this match, of course will join Chris Harris in taking-on Father Mitchell later tonight.  Slash attacks during the introductions, and dominates the early moments of the match.  Slash’s dominance causes Belladonna to lick her lips.  Eww!!  When Storm starts to swing the momentum, Belladonna interferes, allowing Slash to throw powder in Storm’s eyes.  When that doesn’t get the pinfall, she throws a chair into the ring, but that backfires, as Storm is able to hit the Swinging Noose onto the chair.  Brian Lee brings one of the tag title belts into the ring, but Harris is in to prevent the attack.  Father Mitchell nearly forgot to distract the ref so that the faces could cheat, but he jumps up onto the apron eventually and the ref turns his back so that AMW can hit their double-team finisher on Slash, and Storm scores the 1,2,3.  Both members of America’s Most Wanted will face Father James Mitchell in the 3-Way Bullrope Match later.

TNA Grrrls:  NWA Rocky Mountain – Friday, Dec. 6th – Community Center – Sturgis, SD – 8pm … NWA Mississippi – Saturday, Dec. 7th – Battlezone Arena – Magee, MS – 8pm … NWA Wildside – Saturday, Dec. 7th – TV Taping – NWA Arena – Cornelia, GA – 8pm … www.nwawrestling.com

Tenay and West burn up some time by explaining the details of the 3-Way Bullrope Match.

Jerry Lynn pimps the silent auction, and I immediately feel bad for phrasing it that way when he tells us that the Breast Cancer Research charity holds a special place for him because his first wife died of breast cancer.

Once again Goldy interrupts a conversation, this time Bullet Bob Armstrong is with Tha Truth and Jeff Jarrett.  He wants them to forget their differences and battle against the Harris Brothers in order to get at Vinnie Ru.  Jarrett gives an ambiguous response, and we are out.

EZ Money v. Kid Kash v. Amazing Red v. AJ Styles w/Mortimer Plumtree:  Styles attacks Red on the ramp and hits him with the Styles Clash on the stage, knocking Red unconscious.  When the paramedics take him back to the locker room, Joel Maximo replaces him.  Soooo…

EZ Money v. Kid Kash v. Joel Maximo v. AJ Styles w/Mortimer Plumtree:  This is the match.  The rules of this match are as follows: two men in the ring at a time, and when someone is pinned he is replaced by one of the competitors outside.  Once an individual is pinned a second time he is eliminated.  We start with Joel v. Kid Kash, and the action is fast-paced until Joel hits a German Suplex (with a bridge) to score the first pin on Kash.  Styles in the ring, and we have Joel v. AJ Styles.  Styles takes over quickly, and never releases control, hitting The Kryptonite Crunch (Nova’s finisher) on Joel, scoring a pinfall.  Joel and Kid Kash have one defeat each, and we now have AJ Styles v. EZ Money.  Money is able to connect with two of his finishers on Styles, but still manages to have a surprised look on his face when he scores the pinfall.  Have I mentioned yet that the winner of this match will be the #1 Contender for the X-Division Title?  If not it’s because the announcers just now mentioned it!  EZ Money v. Kid Kash is next, and after some fast-paced high-flying action Money goes for his finisher from the top turnbuckle, but Kash is able to reverse it into a Super Huricanrana!  Styles interferes, landing a kick on Kash from the apron, enabling EZ Money to score the pinfall eliminating Kid Kash.  Joel starts to enter the ring, but Styles stops him and jumps into the ring and hits the Styles Clash on Money for the pin.  Each of the three remaining competitors has one pin apiece, and so we have entered the “sudden death” stretch of the match.  AJ Styles v. Joel is next, and Styles dominates most of the segment, and about the time that Joel starts to turn the tides Tenay mentions that this is his fourth match tonight (tag match earlier, once against Kash, and this is his second time against Styles.  Joel scores the pin with a Roll-Up, and the final match-up of this match is Joel Maximo v. EZ Money.  A beautiful Frog Splash by Money gets only two, and when Joel hits a Moonsault from the top Styles and Plumtree distract the ref and Maximo can not score what would have surely been the deciding pinfall.  As Plumtree keeps the ref distracted, Styles sneaks around to the other side of the ring and when Joel springs off the ropes Styles whacks him in the back of the head with a steel chair!  It’s academic at that point, although I should point out that every time that EZ Money lands one of his finishers on someone it makes me wince because it looks like he flubbed it and it looks like someone could be seriously injured by one of his moves.  The winner and YOUR #1 Contender to the X-Division Title is EZ Money.

TNA Grrrls:  NWA ECCW – Saturday, Dec. 7th – House o’ Pain – Langley, BC – 8pm …NWA Main Event – Saturday, Dec. 7th – Morton’s Sportatorium – Columbia, TN – 8pm …NWA East – Saturday, Dec. 7th – NWA Sportatorium – McKeesport, PA – 7:30pm … www.nwawrestling.com

The Producer Keith Mitchell and Director Mike Miller pimp the silent auction.

Sonny Siaki is interviewed by Goldy in a segment taped earlier today.  Siaki’s match tonight in which he was supposed to challenge Jerry Lynn for the X-Division Title has been postponed until next week because Lynn was injured during his match last week.  It doesn’t matter to Siaki if they meet tonight, tomorrow or next week because no matter when the match is, Siaki is confident that he will be the NEW World Heavyweight Champion.

TNA Grrrls:  NWA ECCW/NWA – Saturday, Dec. 7th – Yardbirds Mall – Chehalis, WA – 7:30pm … NWA Tri-State – Saturday, Dec. 7th – City Park Pavilion – Parkersburg, WV – 7:30pm … www.nwawrestling.com

Mike Tenay conducts a live interview with Jerry Lynn on the stage.  We are reminded that Lynn is injured (partial tear of the pectoral muscle) and he has not been cleared to compete…the doctor’s got his liability to worry about, after all.

Jerry Lynn’s promo is cut short when the Harris Brothers attack NWA representative Bill Behrens in the ringside area, putting a table in the ring and preparing to Powerbomb Behrens through it.  Lynn comes to the ring for the save, but the Harris Brothers lay Behrens out and slam Lynn onto him and through the table.  Tha Truth comes out to make the save, but he is no match for the double-team efforts of the Harris Brothers.  They brawl through the crowd and they toss Tha Truth over the balcony railing and through the merchandise table on the floor.

TNA Grrrls:  The first set of dates scrolls by. www.nwawrestling.com

Jeff Jarrett pimps the silent auction.

Bullet Bob promo with BG James.  Because Killings is out Jarrett needs a tag team partner, and James says that he’ll do it for his dad, no one else.

Harris & Storm v. Father James Mitchell:  Father Mitchell comes to the stage and informs us all that he has an acute case of priapism, and has not been medically cleared for in-ring competition.  Since I am certain that most of you are wondering, I looked it up:

Priapism n. persistent erection of the penis, caused esp. by disease.

Belladonna is used just as a distraction, and Slash and Lee attack.  Once the AMW are knocked-out, Father Mitchell enters to get him some of the beatdown.  After a few punches and kicks he brings Belladonna back in, and AMW is enabled to take control again and they score the pinfall on her.  Harris and Storm then chase Mitchell to the back.

TNA Grrrls:  The second set of dates appear as the grrrls grind. www.nwawrestling.com

DW gives us the hard sell for next week’s show.  Of note, Red will take-on AJ Styles, getting revenge for the attack tonight; Sonny Siaki will finally get his X-Division Title Match against Jerry Lynn; and Jeff Jarrett will defend the World Heavyweight Title against Curt Hennig.

Tenay was able to conduct a sit-down interview with Curt Hennig.  Hennig basically just tells us that when he was with AWA wrasslin’ was more about wrasslin’ and the REAL World Champ wore the AWA belt.  They take the opportunity to bash Russo as well.

Ron & Don Harris v. Jeff Jarrett & BG James:  We see that James has been knocked unconscious in the locker room, and so the match will be a Handicapped-Match.  I’ve decided not to give you blow-by-blow details for this match…partly in protest and partly because I’m just frickin’ tired.  The end result remains the same as BG James comes to the ring after Jarrett has been thoroughly beaten, and…surprise!  James turns on Jarrett and joins the Harris Brothers in Russo’s new stable.  So I wonder what they are going to call this version of the nWo?  Of course, for you old-school fans like myself, the nWo was really nothing newer than the next generation of the Four Horsemen…and I’m not talking about the Flair/Arn Anderson/Chris Benoit/Mongo McMichael version of the Horsemen either.  I’m talking about the original Horsemen consisting of Flair/Ole and Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard with their manager James J. Dillon!

Wow.  NWA: TNA had a great thing going for about IV weeks, and somehow that seems like forever ago.  I’m tired of listing all of the competitors that have been taken off of the program to make room for has-beens like BG James and Curt Hennig, but I will say that they probably could’ve paid Low Ki to appear on five or six shows for the same thing that it cost to get Rowdy Roddy Piper to give a 10+ minute promo…and Low Ki would’ve actually wrassled, too!!

In honor of Athena’s appearance tonight, I Get Letters (Part II)™:  This letter comes to us from Evilhippy…Athena is the ring girl for TNA.  I don't know if she is ever really on camera, but she's a local of the Nashville area and her URL is www.thegoddessathena.com Athena is very popular with the locals.

There you have it, and that leads us to the Sign o’ the Night, which appropriately reads: Borash Steals Athena’s Pops.  It’s Smark-centric, but I like it anyway!!



In addition to enjoying pro wrasslin', Scotty is an avid photographer.  His family website contains over 700 pictures, and has a photo-album dedicated entirely to The Sport of Kings (including a picture from the night he & his wife met New Jack), and is available at: http://www.msnusers.com/TheSzantoNicodemusWedding.

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