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OO PPV RECAP
WWE SD! presents Armageddon 
December 13, 2004

by The Rick
Undisputed Lord and Master of OnlineOnslaught.com

 

To say that Armageddon didn't have a whole lot of "must-see" to it going into the event would be a pretty fair statement, I think...
  
And just to let you know where I'm at, it'd also be a pretty fair statement to say that I woke up today feeling miserable after a night of Exposure to the Elements without a hat, and wound up watching this PPV tonight laid out on my couch with hot tea in one hand, kleenex in the other, and a bloodstream pumped full of sudafed. Not a recipe for letting myself be pleasantly  

surprised.

Still, Armageddon came out of the gate strong and ALMOST got me caring before tanking with one of the absolute worst hours ever of PPV. At least, since the Great American Bash. A half hour of Tough Enough and then A Special Unannounced Bashams Match?  No thanks.

But on the upside, given weak material coming in, I am still coherent enough to applaud WWE for making a few Smart Creative Decisions. Where "smartness" is measured by the metric of "Rick Finally Won a PPV Predictions Battle."  I'm not so sure WWE should have put themselves into these spots, but once they did, hey, at least they made some smart choices.

A couple good matches to go with the crappy middle portion of the show, and it's maybe not QUITE as bad as it could have been... but if you took a pass on this one, I can't really tell you you made a mistake, either. But I'll also warn you that maybe, just maybe, that's the sickness talking.  Who knows?

Enough rambling. Here are the full results of tonight's just-completed Armageddon pay-per-view (with some additional editorial commentary tacked on in the customary red italics):

  • Non-hype portions of Heat included: Kurt Angle pep-talking Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns backstage, claiming that they have to work together as a team to beat Big Show; Jindrak seemed to not quite be on the same page after he'd been "fed to the lions" last week on SD!...  Spike Dudley cut a promo in which he laughed off the Cruiserweight Challenge of Funaki...  and Billy Kidman and Akio won a pretty nice little 8 minute tag match, defeating Chavo Guerrero and Paul London. [Spike's promo and Akio pinning Chavo to win the match? Made me already start feeling good about my PPV predictions; this seems to set up Funaki winning the belt with Akio as a possible challenger.]
     
  • Opening Music/Video Package: it's appearance #128 of "Not The End" by Not The Doors, and the entire theme of the package is that it's the end of JBL's WWE Title Reign. I re-assert my belief from Friday that unless JBL retains the title tonight, then WWE *really* botched this badly by making what SHOULD be a fun, satisfying celebration of an undeserving champ finally losing his gold into nothing but a foregone conclusion. The final shot of the video package was JBL hanging his head like he'd already lost the title. And then we're live in Hotlanta, GA, visit briefly with Cole/Tazz and the Spanish Announce Team, and it's time to head straight to the ring...
     
  • Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio beat Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki to retain the WWE Tag Team Titles. Pretty standard back and forth to start, with RVD pairing up for some mat wrestling with Kenzo, and then Rey doing the undersized underdog shtick with Rene, building up to a nice big highspot in which RVD did the apron-to-the-ring-barrier leg drop. But then things settled down for Rey to become the Babyface in Peril. For a good 7-8 minutes Rene and Kenzo cut the ring in half, peppering in hope spots for Rey and teases that he might get to the corner. Pretty solid action, really. Of course, once Rene and Kenzo finally did the Dual French Ticklers, that meant that they were officially out of tricks, so that's when Rey decided to go ahead and make the Hot Tag to RVD.  A little four-way chaos gave us a chance to see the full array of RVD and Rey's double team moves (including the OLD Rolling Thunder, which has been renamed "The Chalupa Roll" since RVD decided to co-opt the old name for just his half of the move).  Then, after a "1238" (a double (619); surprise, surprise, I was on it WELL before Tazz stumbled into getting his addition correct!), Rey powdered out with Kenzo, leaving RVD to hit the Five Star Frog Splash on Dupree for the win. [A damned solid 18-minute opening match; a crowd-pleaser for sure, and fast-paced enough to be a Rick-pleaser, too. Pretty much by the numbers, but as I've been saying for however long now: there IS a reason why certain formulas exist, and with guys as good as RVD and Rey executing those formulas, it's gonna work out just fine.]
     

  • Kurt Angle beat Santa Claus in a "Hometown Hero Challenge." So I guess among the many notables "currently residing in Atlanta, GA," we can now could Kris Kringle among them? I dunno... Angle said that he was conducting another Hometown Hero Challenge, though, and brought out Santa Claus (who I immediately determined was "Not Goldberg," which was pretty much my cue to stop giving a shit). Angle hit a riff about how he busts his ass to provide for his daughter, but then he goes home and all she wants to talk about is Santa Claus. So tonight, Kurt's daughter is home watching the PPV so she can watch her daddy to his job and make the fat piece of crap Santa Claus tap out.  The ref rings the bell, and 30 seconds later, the squash is over: Angle made Santa tap out.  [Without a "surprise Santa," this apparently just existed to make sure Angle comes out of the PPV with some heat; suddenly, I started feeling good about my prediction for the handicap match, too!  Why'd Angle need to "save his heat" by beating on Santa if he was gonna beat Big Show?]
     
  • UFC Toolbox beat MTV Toolbox in a "Dixie Dogfight" via Fan's Decision. Christ, what an abysmal waste of time: a full 5-6 minute video package to introduce things. Then prefatory comments from GM Teddy Long (who, try as he might, could not get the live fans in his own hometown to make even the slightest peep as he "warmed them up" for the Tough Enough boxing match) lasted another 4-5 minutes.  Then ring introductions and getting the two toolboxes into their gear (why didn't they gear up in the back, for fuck's sake?) while Tazz and Cole (and Al Snow) baffled me by going out of their way (as they had all night) to make sure we understood that this was a "Legitimate Boxing Match, sanctioned by the Georgia State Athletic Commission" (underscoring, if they'd stop to think about it, how unlegitimate and fake the rest of the night is) for another 5 minutes. Then they had the 3 minute boxing match, which was so thrilling the fans chanted "boring" after the second round, and which didn't produce a single knockdown. It also did not produce a winner. So we wasted another 6-7 minutes AFTER the match, and the fans seemed to nominally vote for UFC Toolbox over MTV Toolbox, so they gave the match to him, and then Al Snow got in the ring to do interviews with both guys. [A total of 25 minutes or so of utterly uninteresting, unwatchable, unmitigated crap. If you liked this, please explain to me why, so I can try to comprehend exactly what I'm missing here....]
     
  • Backstage: Eddie Guerrero and Booker T are chatting, each one convinced he is the best and will win the WWE Title later tonight. But then they decide that maybe what they need to do is just team up to take out Taker and JBL and then they'll be able to settle this little difference of opinion of theirs, one on one. Of course, just as Eddie and Booker start talking about taking out Taker first, guess who appears in the background to eavesdrop?  Taker hears some of it, then steps into the room... Eddie, especially, does an excellent "hand caught in the cookiejar" take, but Taker just shoots 'em both a skunk eye and moves on without saying a word. Eddie and Booker proceed to blame each other for pissing off Taker as we end this admittedly funny little filler segment...
     
  • The Bashams beat Charlie Haas and Bob Holly. Wow. Just, "Wow." After the clusterfrick that was the Tough Enough Half Hour of Holy Horror, we get this Very Special Unannounced Match-up? There're reasons why people don't watch Velocity, WWE. Matches like this are one of them. I feel sorry for you suckers who paid PPV prices for tickets to see THIS. Holly and Haas start out hot, then Haas becomes your nominal Face In Peril for a few minutes after some doubleteaming, and then when the "hot tag" comes to Bob Holly, absolutely NOBODY makes a noise. Holly tries to be a house afire while crickets chirp in the background, and then suddenly, there *is* a sound from the crowd! Apparently, Dawn Marie has jiggled herself out to the ring to check on the wounded Charlie Haas, and then Jackie Gayda came out because checking on the wounded Charlie Haas is really more of the job for a fiancÚ than for the illicit girlfriend. While Haas comes to and tries to keep the two women separated, Holly gets distracted by trying to yell down to Haas to get his head back in the match. So from behind comes D. Basham, who does a sloppy roll-up thing, and allegedly pins Holly for the three count. This was already boring and pointless, and then the finish was just awful: Holly's shoulders were NOT down, D. Basham's were, and the ref was in position to see that, and yet he still awarded the match to the Bashams.  [Just mind-bendingly poor judgment to stack this on top of the Tough Enough crap; hypothetically-speaking, if I knew somebody in Atlanta who decided not to waste her money on this event, I'd tip my cap to her yet again... this was 45 minutes in a row of nonsense that doesn't even deserve the "Velocity" label.]
     
  • Royal Rumble commercial: a West Side Story knock-off, with the RAW superstars battling the SD! Superstars in song. And just as they meet up to throw fists, we cut to Vince McMahon waking up in horror, deadpanning, "That's not the Rumble I'd envisioned."  HA!  Actually a really funny ad that I'm sure will be driven into the ground for the next 6 weeks, so you'll get a look at it, I'm sure.  And hey, at least this means that SOMEbody got worthwhile video footage out of a recent trip to Universal Studios...
     
  • John Cena absolutely squashed Jesus H. Kidneypuncher to retain the US Title in a Streetfight. Well, my predictions take a hit here as soon as Cena makes his entrance wearing a customized US Title; he ain't losing that thing. Match consists of Cena coming out en feugo, then Carlito manages to feed Jesus H. Jabroni a kendo stick, which he uses to hit Cena in the kidney region. Once. However, all this does is make Cena angry, and he goes on a tear and bloodies Jesus with a kendo stick shot to the head and then a series of closed fists. Actually, Cena really did seem to be laying in pretty stiff with all his shots, which kinda helped out a bit. They went through the crowd for about 3 minutes of very pointless meandering; about the most Extreme thing they did is that Cena dumped some REAL garbage (all wet and icky, NOT "stage garbage") on Jesus, which is NOT the sort of bacteria bath I want getting into a gaping headwound... back in the ring, eventually, and after scaring Carlito back to a safe distance and further decimating Jesus with a trashcan lid, Cena hit the F-U and got the pinfall win.  [About 7-8 minutes of one-sided action, and I guess as a ploy to goose Atlanta into caring about this show again, a success. But I'm not as keen on Cena as most, and other than the brutality of a few of the shots, there was nothing really "get off the couch and cheer" here.  It was a 1987 "Wrestling Challenge" caliber squash, just dressed up a little fancier.]
     

  • After the match: Carlito tried to attack, and got laid out by Cena.  Cena also reacquired his chain to go with his US Title, so I do believe we've had ourselves the "blow-off" to this little feud. Sucks for Carlito that his injury came when it did and necessitated things going this way... it'll be hard for him to come back and recapture any of the magic he had for a few weeks there...
     
  • Backstage: Jackie Gayda is apologizing to Charlie Haas for being a part of why he lost his match, and Charlie's seemingly accepting. Jackie does some bad acting, Charlie matches it with the reciprocal and obligatory "Love you, too, baby," and then PLOT POINT~! Charlie notices Jackie hasn't removed her engagement ring yet, and Jackie's all "Oh, I'm such a DITZ, here, you hold it, Charlie." You should, of course, all see where THIS is going. And then to close things out, the two kids share a passionate kiss.  If you measure "passion" by the amount of really-fake, porno-style tongue-jousting involved, at least.
     
  • Dawn Marie beat Jackie Gayda in An Alleged Wrestling Match. Special Referee Charlie Haas actually accompanied Jackie to the ring, which I guess is OK, since it saved some damned time. About 2 minutes of awkward punchy-kicky (Tazz: "Hey, this is better than the boxing match."; Vince McMahon on Headsets: "You're fired, Tazz."), and then some awkward rolling around on the mat which leads directly to an awkward roll-up in which Dawn Marie used a handful of tights and pinned Jackie. Charlie dutifully counted to three. [Not good, at least it was short.]
     
  • After the match: Jackie plead with Charlie as to why he'd count her down and not cheat for her. Charlie grabbed a mic, and said that sex with Jackie is like sex with a dead fish. I do NOT need to know where you're sticking your penis in your spare time, Charlie, you sick freak! But Dawn Marie's a regular tomcat in the sack, so Charlie's breaking off the engagement to Jackie, pronto. And then he reaches into his pocket (SMELL THE PLOT POINT~!) and pulls out the engagement ring, and gets down on one knee to ask Dawn a question. And finally, something unexpected! Charlie asks "Dawn... why are you such a damned filthy slut?!?" And I think just out of sheer surprise, Atlanta erupts with a cheer and a "Charlie, Charlie" chant. Charlie closes out the segment by saying he's sick and tired of all this soap opera drama, and he wouldn't marry either one of those two, and so they might as well kiss and make-up, cuz he is outta here!  You know, it probably makes me some kind of woman-hating, misogynistic meaniehead, but Good For Charlie. Proceed to Team Angle, do not Pass the Trailer Park, do not collect your Invitation to Appear on Jerry Springer, and get on with the WRESTLING~! Except I fear this is the start of more suck (in which, as I posited in the PPV preview, Dawn and Jackie will begin to vie for Charlie's affection), instead of a clean break and a fresh start for Haas....
     
  • Are You Shitting Me? WWE has apparently produced a one-hour "Fanatic Series" special dedicated to the RAW Diva Search, and is airing it on PPV this month. Whoever thought of THIS needs to be fired immediately. And whoever buys it needs to report to my house for a thorough mocking.
     
  • Backstage: Big Show is WALKING~! He focused and intense, but I guess that Diva Search Ad was OMG FORESHADOWING~!, because he's interrupted by Diva Search Loser and Food Fight Fetishist Joy, who just wants to wish Big Show good luck tonight.  And then she lays a nice, non-porno, non-trying-too-hard style kiss on the Big Lug.  Show pauses to register a moment of "Well, that was nice," but then remembers he's got to fight 3 men here in a few minutes, so he puts his game face back on and resumes WALKING~!....
     
  • Big Show beat Team Angle in a 1-on-3 Handicap Match. Opening few minutes was Team Angle "feeding Jindrak to the lion" again, and Show made Jindrak pay. But eventually Jindrak got to his corner, and while Angle was in the middle of a "Hey, go get 'im, hotshot" gesture, Jindrak just reached out and tagged Angle into the match.  Angle stuck around for exactly one (1) collar-and-elbow tie-up, and then scurried to his corner to blind tag Luther Reigns into the match.  Luther didn't have much success for his first minute or so, but then Team Angle played the Numbers Game Card, and took over the match following some outside interference by Kurt.  For about 5 minutes, they executed the gameplan perfectly, and kept cycling a fresh man in and out to take care of Show. However, when Jindrak's second turn came up in the rotation, it was about time for the Babyface Comeback. Jindrak locked in a Camel Clutch-looking move, and Show powered out of it, causing Angle and Reigns to sense the impending fire-up. So they got in the ring, and for a few minutes, Show just went to town on all three men (including one very cool move in which Show hoisted one of the guys up for what looked like a powerbomb, but then didn't stop the hoisting, and just followed through by elevating the guy up and over his head, driving him face-first to the mat; not fancy, not really high risk, but one of that class of moves that just looks COOL when somebody Show's size does it). I think Luther ate a chokeslam, and then Kurt ate the steel ringsteps in his face when he tried to introduce them, but Show kicked them back at him...  that left Show alone in the ring with Poor Jindrak. And guess what Show busted out? The F-5 (and AGAIN, I call "Rick Is A Genius," because even in my ill, Sudafedded-out state, I once again beat Tazz to the punch by declaring that it should be an "F-500"). Brock Lesnar's finishing hold is MORE than enough to pin Curtain Jerker Mark Jindrak, so Show overcame the odds and won the match.  [About 10 minutes, and pretty by the book, but also, thanks to a few moments of charisma by Show and an eventful final few minutes, plenty watchable and entertaining.  The F-5?  Hey, I've heard nothing, but let's just say a certain Failed Football Player wanted to come back... Show/Lesnar is the feud that put Big Show back on the map in terms of Not Sucking Ass, so I'd have no complaints....]
     
  • Backstage: Funaki has a very special interview... with Funaki!  Well, Roddy Piper as the guest on Piper's Pit, this was not. But it was still kinda cute for a minute or two... and then Spike Dudley interrupted and played the Mega-Prick card by insinuating that Funaki's every bit as a big a joke as a journalist as he is a Cruiserweight Wrestler if he's actually out here stuck interviewing as lowly a subject as himself.  But Funaki has a question/joke for Spike.  "Knock Knock."  "Who's There?"  "Armageddon."  "Armageddon Who?"  "Armageddon your title tonight and become Smackdown! #1 Cruiserweight Champion."  Not sure it was funny, but like I said: "cute" fits.
     
  • Funaki beat Spike Dudley to win the Cruiserweight Title. Funaki came out in control, and the vibe was "Wow, maybe we underestimated this guy" from Tazz and Cole. Sadly, Atlanta was *still* underestimating him, cuz they were sitting on their hands here (more on that in a sec). Funaki hit some nice chain-wrestling-y spots to start, and then set up for something Kinda Scary Looking (you know, one of those spots where you see them setting it up, and you honestly have no idea WHAT they're gonna do, other than it's gonna suck balls for one of them)... but instead of hitting the move on Spike, Spike tossed Funaki off of the top rope to the floor, face-first and torso-first. Thus we entered a period of about 5 minutes of Spike working over Funaki's ribs. We actually get a few embryonic "boring" chants in here, which can only mean one thing: Atlanta may claim three of my most favorite things in the whole wide world in Chris Benoit, Santa Claus, and Erin Anderson, but I still hate the place so very, very much! "Boring," my ass.
     
    But then Funaki's rally actually DOES fire the crowd up a bit, because it starts with an Extremely Awesome Move of Awesome Extremeness: he manages to tie Spike Dudley to the Tree of Woe, and then as Spike keeps trying to sit up and escape, Funaki actually goes to the tope rope right above Spike, and as Spike is sitting up, Funaki hits a Sweet Double Stomp to Spike's chest.  And with that, the rally is on. Some VERY nice near falls after any number of Classic High Flying Babyface Spots (Steamboat-style high-crossbody, Scotty 2 Hotty-style bulldog), but Spike is tenacious and keeps kicking out!  Finally they hook up for one final bit of wrangling and chain-wrestling, and Funaki ends up on top with both Spike's legs hooked... and GETS THE THREE COUNT!  Funaki wins the Cruiserweight Title in a 10 minute match that was better than Atlanta gave it credit for, and immediately proceeds to celebrate with his colleagues (the announce teams) in a nice little touch.  [Hey, I liked this match.  Somehow, this is vindication for me, since the Kaientai "EVIL" t-shirt is still the only wrestling t-shirt I've ever paid for.  Indeed.  And you know something? I don't blame the fans in Atlanta, really, and I sure as hell don't blame Spike or Funaki; I blame WWE for conditioning the fans to NOT think that Funaki could win. Seriously; all the shitty randomness that's been in place the last few months, all the Vince going on TV and subtly sending the message "Anything CAN'T Happen Here in WWE, and I'll act with force to make sure Stevie Richards or other unworthies don't win titles," it just set the tone that no fan (well, no AVERAGE fan, one who doesn't read OO and see how I was one of about 2 or 3 trOOps who actually picked Funaki to win and explained why it made sense) had to care about this match. Because Funaki's even lower on the totem pole than Stevie Richards.  Way to fuck yourself over, WWE.  I just hate that it's Funaki and Spike who had to take it on the chin for you.]
     
  • Extended Remix of the Opening Video Package. Goddammit, I'm more sure than EVER that JBL has to win tonight or else there's something really, really wrong. This has gone past Miscalculation to Bludgeoning Me Over The Head...  JBL thinks he's going to lose. So therefore he shall not.  Also: there are two things that got on my nerves all night long.  (1) This goddamned song being played at every turn and the announcers thinking they were being clever any time they busted out "The End is Near" in a match (when that little cliche was played out as soon as I used it for Friday's front page headline), and (2) Tazz insisting on referring to Atlanta as "Hotlanta" ALL FRICKING NIGHT LONG.  It's funny once per conversation, but then you gotta just use the city's real name, Tazz.  The chyron doesn't say "The Big Apple" when you're at MSG, does it?
     
  • Backstage: JBL is still convinced he's going to lose, and is feeling very down in the dumps.  So D. Basham comes in and tries to buck him up.  And then, D. Basham comes in and tries to buck him up. And then A. Weber promises that "win or lose" she'll still be JBL's image consultant, which I guess is an attempt at showing support. Although if JBL had been watching the PPV to this point, he might have prefered a hot, wet, open mouth kiss.  And finally Orlando Jordan tried to buck JBL up.  Didn't work.  The vibe here is very much one of a wake or funeral.  Finally, JBL starts the long walk to the ring, positive he's going to lose....
     
  • JBL beat Booker T, Eddie Guerrero, and Booker T to retain the WWE Title. Opening minutes were JBL sitting on the outside feeling sorry for himself, leaving the three fan favorites to spar. But the VERY SECOND Booker T took a bump, JBL jumped in the ring and tried to steal the pinfall while Eddie and Taker brawled.  Didn't quite work, but it gave Eddie and Booker the chance to do broad gesturing that they should team up and go after that vile fiend JBL.  So they did. To cheers.  But then their teamwork continued as they took on Undertaker.  Not so many cheers.  But from here, we did settle in for the meat of the match, which was Eddie and Booker dominating Taker for a bit, then moving on to focus on JBL for a bit, and lather, rinse, repeat.  But on the last time through, they changed it up a bit, and Taker actually took over and dominated BOTH Eddie and Booker for a bit.  That led to Eddie deciding to pull out all the stops: he grabs a ladder!  But other than briefly using it to KO Taker, it really doesn't come into play.  Instead, the ladder is laid to rest outside the ring on one side after JBL takes his first advantage of the night, controlling both Eddie and Booker while Taker's selling the ladder shot.  And here's where the match picks up a bit of pace...
     
    JBL takes Booker outside the ring, and tries to powerbomb him through the announce table (it's all legal, as they'd made it clear that only a pinfall or submission would win this match). But the table won't sell it.  So JBL stands on a chair and drops and elbow.  NOW the table breaks.  And Booker is dead.  But Taker has returned, and immediately goes about attacking JBL and putting him through the Spanish Announce Table (with a Last Ride Powerbomb, which the SAT does sell).  Back in the ring, Eddie has recovered and watched this develop, but decides to try to set Taker up by playing possum in the ring.  Taker eventually turns and sees Eddie's carcass, and goes in to finish him off, but Eddie counters by reversing out of the Last Ride... however, this only angers Taker.  So Taker tries to follow up with ANOTHER Last Ride after neutralizing Eddie, but Eddie had grabbed the WWE Title belt, and at the apex of the powerbomb, he blasts Taker in the head with it.  Taker's still more miffed than hurt and tries to bring the offense, but Eddie keeps countering with mule kicks to the balls and things of that nature.  Finally, Eddie's able to grab the ladder from ringside and re-introduce it to the match.  He uses it to KO Taker, and manages to hit not one, but TWO Frog Splashes. But Taker kicks out and even Zombie Sits-up.  Eddie realizes he needs to up his game (and Atlanta, good for you for chanting "Eddie, Eddie," giving him his props against Taker!) and goes back to the ladder for a few more shots.  Eddie eventually climbs up top and hits a Frog Splash From Outer Space... and this time, Taker's not kicking out and Zombie Sitting-up.  Instead, JBL has to yank the ref out of the ring to break the count.  BOO!
     
    So before long, Booker gets back in on this action, and all four men are in the ring brawling.  Taker actually gets back in control at this point, hitting chokeslams on all three men. But just as he's about to finish things off with a Tombstone Piledriver on JBL, here's... aw, shit, it's Heidenreich out of nowhere.  He tackles Taker, breaking up the Tombstone attempt, and after a bit of back-and-forth, Heidenreich hits the side-slam that TNA fans probably wish I'd mention is Abyss' finisher.  But I won't.  So now, Heidenreich powders out to ringside, and JBL's the freshest man in the ring.  He goes to Booker and covers.  Kick out at 2.  To Eddie. Kick out at 2.  Is approaching Taker, but Taker won't even be covered: he Zombie Sits-up as JBL is coming towards him.  JBL does the beg-off of ultimate pussiness, but Heidenreich re-appears (remember, it's all legal! pinfall or submission only!) and yanks Taker out of the ring.  Seeing his opening, JBL hits Booker T with a Clothesline From Hell, and makes quick cover. 1, 2, 3, and JBL retains against all odds!  He leaves through the crowd, as Cole and Tazz riff for a bit on replays that show how Heidenreich screwed Taker, since lord knows Heidenreich vs. Taker is MONEY~!  Our last shot is not of the Lucky WWE Champ, but of Taker acting a bit put-out in the ring....  [Actually a very fun 30 minute main event, especially the last half, starting with the table spots. And the right finish, too. If JBL didn't win, I'd have been livid at WWE for ruining what SHOULD be a joyous occasion. I want to be happy and surprised and jubilant the day JBL loses; I don't want it to be a foregone conclusion. So there was a lot of good here. But then again, there was also a lot of Heidenreich.  Boo on that. Still, a relatively fun main event to a show that was extraordinary only in its ordinariness.]

Strong opening, relatively strong close, but in the middle? Armageddon sure had a LOT of holes, and more than anything, the feeling one's left with is that WWE had no fucking business asking fans to pony up PPV money for this show.  It's not that it was through-and-through bad, it's just that they had about an hour of PPV-ready stuff, and still slapped a $35 price tag on it.  This is *not* how you satisfy the home viewer.  Ending a show 20 minutes earlier and having close to a half-hour of your air-time dedicated to Tough Enough is just... well, it's not right.  Throw in a Bashasm Bonus Match and some of the other filler in the middle, and I can't see how any fan would have felt like he got his money's worth; or how WWE thought they GAVE us our money's worth.

More thoughts/analysis/fall-out/etc. tomorrow in OO....

E-MAIL RICK
BROWSE THE RAW RECAP ARCHIVES


  
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RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
 
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo
 
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
 
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome
 
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?
 
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power
 
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
 
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
 
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
 
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
 
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
 
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!
 
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
 
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
 
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

 

 

 


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