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OO PPV RECAP
WWE RAW presents Vengeance 
June 26, 2005

by The Rick
Undisputed Lord and Master of OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Well, heading into tonight's PPV, even Your Cynical Webmaster could not help but be deeply intrigued by the prospects. You had a handful of interesting in-ring pairing likely to deliver the goods... but the truth is that my Internet Workrate Jackoff card should probably be revoked on the grounds that I was even MORE curious to just see who won in the two title matches. 
  
With two big titles contested among five men at Vengeance, and with SD! ready to create an all new THIRD title (to be decided among six men) this week, the gates were wide open for WWE to pull some rabbits out of their hat and really shake things up. 

So of course, what happens? Well, the two defending champions both  

retained their gold.... huh. So much for my markish enthusiasm, eh?

But it also didn't really matter so much: there are still lots of promising options on the table for the remainder of the draft lottery with Batista and John Cena reigning as champs. And while Cena's match was notably devoid of any actual drama or sense of uncertainty in its final stages, Batista's Hell in the Cell win over Triple H was easily the Big Man's best match ever and up until the very final move seemed like it could go either way. Surprisingly (at least, surprising to me), the main event even managed to trump Shawn Michaels win over Kurt Angle for "Match of the Night" honors.

So despite all the ambiguity and possibilities heading into the night, the status quo was pretty much maintained. Because of the lack of major happenings or title changes, Vengeance isn't a show that'll make any headlines; but it is one that was (with only maybe one exception) entertaining throughout. And that's a not-unremarkable achievement.

Here are the full results of tonight's just-completed Vengeance pay-per-view (with some additional editorial commentary tacked on in the customary red italics):

  • On Heat: I believe it was slated to be Hurricane/Rosey vs. the Heartthrobs. And even though I didn't see it, I'd be a body part that the champs retained.
     
  • Opening Video Packages (focusing almost solely on Hell in the Cell, which tells you just about everything you need to know about which title -- and by extension, which brand -- is the primary one in "WWE Think"; equality, my ass!), and we're welcomed to Las Vegas by... what the hell is Coach doing here? It's a three man booth with Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Coach; and as per Hooters Standard Operating Procedure, I couldn't really make out any commentary to suss out WHY it's a three man booth. Nor could I tell if Coach added to or detracted from the commentary, or if he was there for any specific purpose other than to just be a third wheel...
     
  • Carlito Cool beat Shelton Benjamin to retain the InterContinental Title. The early tone of the match was Carlito trying to get under the skin of Shelton by locking up and then ducking out of the ring to regroup. Oddly, this seemed to have the effect of making Carlito a fan favorite... either that, or Carlito's pre-existing work was enough that fans dig him even when he acts like a total pussy. Shelton finally gets Carlito isolated long enough to hit some of his high-risk offense (no no-hands plancha tonight, though) for a few minutes. But fear not, Vegas Fans: Carlito regained control via some nefarious means and went to work (mostly on Shelton's back and neck). As is his custom, Shelton did a great job peppering in hope spots over the next several minutes, but did not actually start his real comeback until after a big suplex left both men down in the ring. As the ref applied the double count, Shelton managed to gain the advantage for some more cool moves. Well, *I* thought they were cool; Carlito (and truthfully, a LOT of the live fans) would probably disagree. Shelton was on a tear when Carlito once again played pussy, and latched onto the ropes in a corner until the ref forced Shelton to step back and break. And while the ref was doing that, Carlito craftily untied the top turnbuckle pad. Shelton moved in and continued his offensive roll for another minute or so, culminating in that leg-whip-thingie he does. Carlito was down on the mat... but conveniently enough, was down on the mat in front of the corner with the exposed steel turnbuckle. Shelton waited until Carlito got to his feet, and came in for the Stinger Splash.... but Carlito dodged it, causing Shelton to eat a faceful of steel. Shelton stumbled backwards into the waiting grasp of Carlito, who rolled him up (grabbed a superfluous handful of tights, just because that's what truly magnificent assholes do), and got the (tainted) three-count. Carlito retains.
     
    [Somewhere in the 12-15 minute range, and from where I sit, thoroughly entertaining. The fan reaction to Carlito is not necessarily surprising -- since the guy clearly *is* one of the more natural and personable talents on the roster -- but that fans were SO far behind him that they'd also BOO Shelton was a bit odd. For me, this was more just a deal of sitting back, enjoying, and liking BOTH guys; but not so much for Vegas, eh? This was a big step up from Monday, and in the "very good" range; which means that there's still some room to step it up another notch, if such a contest is in the cards. And you know what's funny to me about Carlito? This is the second major title he's held after debuting 8 months ago, and the guy STILL doesn't have a finishing move. The guy really IS a magnificent heel to be pulling that off....]

     
  • Victoria beat Christy Hemme. Well, they surprised me and the right woman won... but this wasn't particularly pretty, especially given how many times they've wrestled each other on the house show circuit. Spaz still lacks the fundamentals, so running the ropes doesn't look so hot and most of her offense is rather unconvincing. Which meant it was a good thing that her early offense (the highlight was a "10 head-rammings-into-a-turnbuckle" which even Spaz is capable of doing quite expertly) came to an abrupt end, leaving Victoria in control for most of the middle portion of the match. Christy took her beating, but wouldn't stay down for a three-count, that tenacious little spitfire... she finally started her comeback after reversing some move or another on Victoria, and then hit her Best Move Of The Match: a hairflip, with a pissed-off glare directed at Victoria, while mouthing the words, "You BITCH!"... and from there, Spaz spazzed up like there was no tomorrow with all kinds of choking and punching and stuff that really doesn't count as "wrestling." But it worked, and it allowed Spaz to set up for the Big Finish. It was your standard Lingerie Pillow Fight ending: an Improbable Pinning Combination designed to allow for the maximum amount of girl-face to be positioned next to girl-genitals. OMG SEXY~!~!~! But don't tell the idiots at Hooters I'm being sarcastic: this was the first moment of the show where they popped for anything. Anyway, first Christy had the Improbable Pinning Combination, but Victoria managed to reverse it, dropping her vagina directly onto Spaz's face for the devasting pinfall win. Oh, and I guess the illegal use of the ropes for leverage probably helped, too, but I'm guessing I'm the only one who was noticing that. Because I'm such a mature and highly-evolved man whose base natures are not allowed to run rampant. At least, not all the time. 
     
    [A not-very-good match. But it was short, only 4-5 minutes, so I can't say it overstayed its welcome. And hey, Victoria winning was a pleasant surprise. It's the right move for sure, and thus, I had no idea it would be WWE's move.]

     
  • Backstage: Tough Questions Todd Grisham interviewed John Cena. And while I didn't get all of it, the main gist of this thing involved peeing one's pants. Holy shit. First, poop jokes gravitate towards Cena. Now pants-pissing? I can't even fathom how this had anything to do with the WWE Title Match, and for once, do not mind that Hooters makes it kinda hard to understand the audio...
     
  • Kane defeated Edge. Ahem; go back to the PPV preview, and read the part where I said that the most popular babyface in this match would be Matt Hardy, and that the most hated heel in this match would be Lita, and that there would be nary a SINGLE CHANT for either of the two guys actually having the match. Because it sounded like I nailed it exactly. Tons of Matt chants, and Lita was hearing "Slut" and "She's a Crack Whore" chants. BTW: Lita's outfit tonight? Not featuring the cleavage so much (unless you count ass-cleavage, which I do not unless it's Trish Stratus', for reasons that not even *I* quite understand), making me quite confident she'd be playing a physical role in the match, as she was not sporting the blousal precariousness. The match? Extremely standard fare for the most part. Kane started on a tear, but then Lita managed to create enough of a distraction that Edge was able to take over for the middle section of the match.  This went on for a goodly while (the crowd cheering Kane on all the way with hearty "We Want Matt" chants, which has gotta hurt the Big Lug's feelings). Finally it was Comeback Time, and Kane obliged by no-selling a series of Edge moves with Zombie Sit-Ups. From there, we hit the homestretch as the pace finally picked up and the fans seemed really into the action, instead of into the Lita/Matt drama. Kane's offense was going nicely, so of course, Lita had to start interjecting herself. After her second distraction, the ref was giving her an Exceptionally Stern Talking To, making it possible for Gene Snitsky to run in and attack Kane from behind. Edge got a nearfall from that, but then as Lita continued distracting the ref, Edge and Snitsky miscommunicated on a double team move, and Edge Speared Snitsky. Kane seemed ready to finish Edge off, but Lita AGAIN hopped in the ring, this time with a steel chair. But when Kane spotted her, she dropped the chair and Slutted It Up by making eyes at Kane and then starting to fondle him suggestively... would Kane fall for it? Nah, he's apparently as mature and sophisticated a male as I, and will not have his mind clouded by Gigantic Whores! Instead: he sets Lita up for a chokeslam (see, I told you she wore a Sensible Top for a reason!)... luckily, Edge made the save in the nick of time.  The ref once again let himself be distracted by tending to Lita (this time, easing her out of the ring), allowing Snitsky to get involved. But now, Kane was on fire. Snitsky was dispatched, and when Edge tried to use his Money In The Bank Briefcase, Kane basically just body-blowed Edge, causing him to drop it. One more bit of love for Snitsky, a "stay the hell out of here, if you know what's good for you, bitch" look to Lita, and then a chokeslam on Edge, and it was all over. Kane wins, and celebrates over Edge's unconscious carcass as Lita decides to leave ringside by herself, just to be safe; what ever happened to standing by your man, dammit? Or at least remaining in the General Vicinity of your man?  
     
    [Seemed a bit underwhelming for the first 8 minutes or so, but once Snitsky and Lita got involved, they really had a nice finishing sequence. Very big and busy, and the way Kane managed to so easily overcome the odds finally did make him seem like a bit of the bad-ass of old. Didn't care so much for the early stuff, but the last four minutes were really exciting and just about perfect for what this match needed to accomplish. I feel a bit sorry for Edge, who's character took a beating just by being involved in such a shitty storyline after he'd been RAW's #2 heel for much of the winter and spring, but hey, maybe now this is at least over, and he can start rehabbing his public image so that when he decides to withdraw his Money in the Bank, he'll again be believable contender.]

     
  • Backstage: Grisham has an interview with Shawn Michaels. No stupid urine-based humor this time... seemed like it was kinda short and too the point, and whatever Michaels' main thesis was, it ended with him guaranteeing that "Vengeance shall be mine."
     
  • Shawn Michaels beat Kurt Angle. A bit slowish to start, but that's fine since you know they're going 25-plus minutes... the early spots all centered on "can you top this?" mat wrestling, with both men choosing to work the other's arm. Simple, but effective, and also very crisply executed. Things finally hit cruising gear about 8 minutes in when the match went to ringside, and they teased the sweet "Angle Slam into the Ringpost" spot from WM21... but instead, after a complex spot, Angle wound up triple-reversing it into a German Suplex onto the Spanish Announce Table. Which did not break. Ouch. From there, we got back in the ring, where Angle continued the back/neck attack, including a kick-ass move where Kurt powerbombed Shawn onto the top turnbuckle. Neato. It should be noted that Kurt definitely had some fans in the crowd, but unlike the opener, I did not detect anybody booing the intended babyface. They were just way into the match, with a few fans deciding to vocally back Angle.  The Angle beatdown continued (with only sporadic, and relatively flaccid, hope spots for Shawn) until past the 15 minute mark... it was at that point that Shawn fired up and hit his standard Flying Burrito/Nip Up. He tried to follow up with the next logical move, the Macho Man Elbow, but Kurt had that scouted, and was able to avoid it. Shawn still tried, however, to Tune Up The Band for the Sweet Chin Music... but again: Kurt's no dummy. This time, he clotheslined Shawn out of his boots before he could connect with the Superkick. By now, we're leaving Cruising Gear and started to speed up; both men are bleeding (but both unintentionally), and at the 20 minute mark, we get a ref bump. Angle tosses Shawn out of the ring, where Shawn sells that he landed on his left leg wrong; trainers come out to check on him, but Kurt (with no ref to stop him or threaten him with disqualification) shoos them away to attack the injured limb. This eventually leads up to the ankle lock. And kids, I know that this'll sound crappy on the written page, but Kurt and Shawn really did do a sweet-ass extended sequence here of attempted escapes, attempted rope breaks, and all that stuff... but Kurt was able to keep the thing locked in for about 2 minutes. You'd probably have to see it to understand how good it all looked and how dramatic it was; also, if you saw the WM21 match the two had, this was a very-nicely-conceived recall of that match's closing moments when Shawn was forced to tap out. But this time? FINALLY, after a tortuous few minutes, Shawn's last gasp effort sends Kurt flying into the turnbuckles. Angle was still the stronger of the two, though, and tried to move in again.... but ate a superkick out of nowhere. Shawn couldn't immediately capitalize, though, so when he finally made the cover, Angle was able to kick out. And hell, Angle was STILL the stronger of the two and the first to get to his feet. Sensing that Michaels was ripe for the pickin's, Angle decided to go for a big finish: he actually went up to the top rope... but when he came off, he ate ANOTHER superkick. And this time, Michaels made sure to immediately fall on top of Angle to make the cover. And he got paid off: Michaels wins, evening the Career Series at one win apiece between these two. 
     
    [Somewhere brushing up against 30 minutes, and very, very good. Not quite WM21 good, but still the kind of match that, if you like wrestling, had you in the palm of its hand for the entire ride. From Kurt's suplex-onto-the-Spanish-Announce-Table onward, this was nonstop action and build up to an even more dramatic closing 3 minutes. And because "not as good as WM21" doesn't count as a legit complaint, that pretty much means that there are nothing but good things to say about this match.]
     
  • Backstage: Coach left the announce table long enough to interview Batista, who didn't really say or do anything too exciting, just seemed to spout off a few cliches and pleasantries. But then HHH showed up and the two ended up having a brief pull-apart brawl.
     
  • Your FDA Recommended Daily Allowance of Vitamin Suck. A leather couch has been placed in the middle of the ring. Soon, it is joined by Lillian Garcia and Viscera. And oh lord, you know that little fantasy booking I did that would have helped Lillian's character out by making her an actually strong, intelligent woman who does not consider being forcibly abducted to be a Turn On? Forget about it... because Lillian's here to profess her True Love for Vis. First she sings him a song, and then... wait for it... wait for it.... Lillian asks Viscera to marry her. That's it, I give up. Forget everything I've learned in my years of being a heterosexual male, I know now that I will never find my soulmate until I kidnap her and impose my every filthy will upon her for several weeks against her wishes until she finally comes to her senses and discovers I am truly the Greatest Man Alive. This whole thing with Sexy Vis is not just unfunny, it's also just plain stupid. Viscera seems flattered by the offer, and is considering it when... the GODFATHER arrives? Yep, the Godfather. With five of Las Vegas' most not-working-tonight strippers. Christ, from the sounds of things, you'd think Hulk Hogan had entered the arena. Either the Godfather is WWE's Secret Weapon for regaining its late 90s glory, or Vegas just REALLY likesskanks of varying levels of attractiveness. Godfather's basic speech to Viscera is "Hey dawg, you're a playa, you shouldn't be tying yourself down to one woman." And Viscera, after a few painful moments of Sampling the Merchandise, decides to tell Lillian to get to stepping so he can take a ride on the Ho Train. Nice. So the strippers grind up against Vis for a few more moments and then leave the ring, where Lillian is still standing totally still, apparently shocked that the love of her life has ditched her for five prostitutes. Whee? 
     
    [Granted, the Godfather showing up was a surprise and was good for a bit of nostalgic fun... but really, this whole thing was rather dumb. But maybe *NOW* Lillian will finally get it in her skull that men who abduct women are not to be trusted, and they'll do that thing I said in the PPV preview where she and Trish Stratus join forces to put an end to Big Vis once and for all. And hopefully soon. Because I don't know how much more of his crap I can take.]
     

  • John Cena beat Christian and Chris Jericho to retain the WWE Title. Some definite fan support for Jericho and Christian, though they try their best to short circuit that by teaming up immediately to take out Cena. The opening 4-5 minutes or so are a rotating series of one-on-one spots while the other guy is powdered out. So first the Canadians kick the shit out of Cena for a bit, giving them a chance to fight each other. Then Cena came back in time to interrupt a near fall by Jericho, and tossed Jericho out, giving him a moment or two alone with Christian. But that ended when Cena gave Christian a big ol' F-U out over the top and to the floor... but before he could follow-up, Jericho struck to give us the final possible different one-on-one pairing, as he and Cena went back and forth. The finale to this opening segment was The Lovely Miss Tomko getting ejected for his repeated interference against both Jericho and Cena. This kinda kicked things into another gear, and though there was usually a focus on 2 men while the other was in the background, it wasn't quite as noticeable, and things were more fluid. There was a nice sequence outside the ring, where Jericho was setting up to put Cena through the Spanish Announce Table, but after Christian stuck his nose in, that wound up not happening, and instead, Jericho took a SICK DDT on the floor. It didn't seem like a big deal the first time, but on replay, we're talking Jake Roberts/Ricky Steamboat On The Concrete sick. This actually did leave us with Christian/Cena for a bit more, but Jericho (unlike Ricky Steamboat lo those many years ago, who needed to be stretchered out and missed several weeks of action after Saturday Night's Main Event) was right back in the thick of things, and they started doing three way spots, most of which ended up benefiting Cena. These included Jericho and Christian managing to miscommunication enough so as to accidentally hit each other in the balls, and also a cool spot where Jericho was going for a superplex, but then Cena got underneath Jericho, and when Jericho superplexed Christian, Cena stacked it up and turned it into a power bomb on Jericho as well. We've seen that spot before, but it's always a cool one. This all led up to a "Ten Knuckle Shuffle" in which Cena did his crappy fistdrop on both guys at the same time. But not surprisingly, crappy fistdrops do not finish off opponents the calibers of Jericho and Christian, so there was still more fighting to be done. From here, Cena tried an F-U on Jericho, but Christian broke it up, then Christian tried something on Jericho but Cena had to break that up, and then Jericho briefly seemed to have Cena's number, but after a brief visit to the Walls of Jericho, Cena was released from the hold so Jericho could pre-emptively strike against Christian. With all three guys now in the mix, Christian tried to take advantage of a weakened Cena, but wound up getting hoisted into position for the F-U... when Jericho tried to break it up, Cena swung Christian's legs around so as to take out Jericho. Then he planted Christian with the F-U, and that was that. Cena wins clean. 
     
    [Well: I don't know what to say... they put in a ton of nice spots, and Cena executed about as sharply as he ever has, showing that maybe his first tag match on RAW was just jitters or something. But there was also no real drama to this match... at no point did they do anything that made it seem like Jericho or Christian were really gonna win. They go no convincing near falls, and both end up looking weak, I think, since Cena was able to win so decisively. Somewhere in the 12-15 minute range, and with enough action to be entertaining... but I never really got a sense of sizzle from it. I also think it kinda blows that Christian did the months of mic work, and got cleanly beaten here, and now he'll probably never even get a one-on-one shot at Cena. We'll see, though...]
     
  • Batista beat Triple H to retain the World Heavyweight Title. Definite Big Match Atmosphere here, as the "Theme From Cage Lowering" always sets a nice tone. And a Major League Staredown to start helps, too. Once the cage is lowered and the door locked, there's no more Ric Flair... it's just Hunter, Dave, and whatever might stored under the ring. They waste no time taking it to the outside, where both men get whipped into various objects (ringposts, steps, the cage). Trips wound up getting the better of that little exchange, and tossed Batista back into the ring. And then, Cerebral Assassin that he is, he decided to stop off at the Armory, where he's stashed some helpful objects. Object #1: a steel chain, which he uses to whip Batista and then hang him. This goes on for a few minutes (racked up the WWE Fantasy Points for The Me!), and then Batista manages to power up and take the chain for his own use (MORE Fantasy Points for me, since I selfishly picked BOTH men for my team this week, quite confident that the Foriegn Object Bonuses would be flowing like Wine at Neverland Ranch). As a result of Batista's regaining control, HHH becomes the first man to wear a Crimson Mask in the match... Batista takes it outside, and does the Cheese Grater Spot with HHH's head in the cage, but cannot maintain the advantage after Hunter finally dodged a charge. HHH goes back to the Armory and pulls out.... a Steel Chair Wrapped in Barbed Wire. Oooooh, nasty! He gets a few nice shots in on Dave's wide back, and just for shits and giggles we get nice close-ups of the lacerations/puncture wounds on Batista's back. But again, after taking a few of the object shots, Batista is able to fire up and take the barbed wire chair for himself. And in an ouchie moment, he grates it across HHH's already bloody forehead. Hunter still managed to wage a comeback from this, though, as they stayed away from the objects for possibly as long as 2 minutes! It all led up to an attempted Pedigree; but Batista powered out... but HHH had a back-up plan, and after a nice reversal spot, he nailed Dave with a DDT into the barbed-wire chair. Ouch again. Batista came up bleeding from that one, so from the 20-minute mark onward, it was dueling Crimson Masks. 
     
    HHH stayed on the offensive for several minutes at this point (including paying Batista back for the Cheese Grater Spot), until he finally thought it was time to finish Batista off. So a trip back to the Armory, and this time: it's Sweet Lady Sledge. Which means we are getting towards End Game. HHH landed exactly one (1) sledgehammer show, but when he tried to follow up, Batista countered with a sac punch. When Batista tried to use the sledge, HHH countered with the steel chain to Batista's noggin. When HHH tried to follow that up with a move off the top rope, Batista raised the sledge into HHH's face in a nice spot. Then, Batista took it outside again, where HHH enjoyed some tasty steel steps. And then, Batista decided to bring the steel steps into the ring, to serve them up to Hunter in all new and exciting ways! Included in this was a sick spinebuster onto the steel. But shortly after this, Batista made the mistake of showboating before going for the Batista Bomb, giving HHH just neough room to counter it and IMMEDIATELY hit the Pedigree. The Extremely Awesome Pedigree of Unbeatability! Except that: Batista kicked out of it. So HHH decided to do a Super Pedigree of So Much Superlativeness That There Are Not Adjectives To Describe It, by using the steel ringsteps. But this time it was Batista's turn to counter out of that, but backdropping HHH off the steps. Batista sensed an opening, and started picking up HHH's carcass. But HHH's carcass is not as limp as it seems: because HHH picks up Sweet Lady Sledge on the way... and when Batista hoists HHH up for the BatistaBomb, HHH tries to use the sledge to KO Batista... but Batista spots it and before the sledge can strike, he drops HHH down... one, two, three, and Batista retains. 
     
    [Brushing up against 30 minutes, and my choice for Match of the Night. Easily Batista's best match ever, and a perfect use of the cell gimmick and the assortment of foreign objects. A flawless execution of the "Main Event Brawl" style, with enough blood, drama, and creativity to make this a slightly-more-memorable affair than the plethora of main event brawls we've seen in the last 8 years or so since the rise of Austin and the Rock.  I loved the final sequence of HHH grabbing the sledge, but then not being able to use it in time.... up until that final second of impact, you didn't who was gonna win or how they were gonna win it, which is just a really cool way to wrap things up.]

Again: not a show that screams "historically significant," nor one that necessarily delivered the surprising twists and turns I might have expected... but one that -- on the strength of two VERY awesome matches -- was undeniably entertaining. I'll take that.

Thumbs up, definitely. And I'll have more thoughts, analysis, and fall-out from Vengeance tomorrow in OO. See you then.

E-MAIL RICK
BROWSE THE RAW RECAP ARCHIVES


  
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