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NWA-TNA ON PPV
Destination X 2006
March 13, 2006

by Jason Longshore
OnlineOnslaught.com's TNA Pinch Hitter

 

It’s been a busy last few days. I want to once again thank Cory for stepping into the breach for me on the preview, hopefully you guys were able to check that out on the Forums. I’m home just in time to scarf down some dinner and catch the pre-show. This TNA PPV recap is brought to you by Moe’s Southwest Grille,  

Moe knows TNA. Okay, maybe not, but he does know that I’m hungry, and that has to count for something.

A legend retires, a man returns. Wow, the requisite video packages are followed by our first appearance of Jeff Jarrett for the evening. Jarrett usually doesn’t do pre-shows. His posse follows him to the ring. Jarrett’s says Sting doesn’t have the guts to show up tonight. He calls Eric Young and Alex Shelley to the front and says that he’s putting them in the ballgame tonight. He wants them to find Sting. Young is slightly terrified.

The first pre-show match is Cassidy Reilly v. Shannon Moore. I’m amazed at Moore’s ability to out-Hot Topic Jeff Hardy. They’d have a hell of a “Hot Topic Gift Certificate On A Pole” match. Shannon Moore wins the match, and I can’t say I really cared all that much.

Jeremy Borash is backstage with Christopher Daniels. Daniels recaps all of the questions going into the match. He says that it comes down to who wants it more. Nice promo out of Daniels, as usual.

Don West introduces us to three members of the St. Louis Cardinals. David Eckstein says he’s looking forward to Ultimate X the most, West says he’s become a regular at TNA events. Poor Eckstein, I don’t see a broadcasting career in his future.

Simon Diamond talks trash to the Cardinals. He hates baseball, it seems. He says he’s going after Dale Torborg and AJ Pierzynski. The Diamonds in the Rough are facing Shark Boy and Norman Smiley. The crowd loves Norman. Sharky and Norman hit the dreaded Ass Bite of Doom/Big Wiggle combination. Simon ends up interfering to help Young and Skipper get the win.

The video package that closed out Impact last night closes out the pre-show. On to the PPV proper…

Quite the different introduction this time around. It was a silent film, all Charlie Chaplin style, called “Stung”. They ran down the card, the black and white presentation of the highlights was pretty cool. The main person was dressed in a tux, with a Sting mask. He imitated all of the signature moves on the video. The Jarrett Strut was a classic. It was revealed at the end that the man in the mask was Eric Young.

ALEX SHELLEY V. JAY LETHAL

Nice mat wrestling to start things off. West tells us that Shelley and Lethal are the two youngest members of the TNA roster, Lethal’s 20 and Shelley’s 22. They fought into a very odd hold, paintbrushing each other while both standing on their heads. The crowd is digging the interesting mat stuff. Lethal hits Shelley with a suicide dive through the ropes. Shelley bites Lethal’s thumb to get out of the hold. Shelley needs to start coming up with names for some of his crazy holds so I know what to call them. He drops Lethal with an enziguiri. Lethal tries to make a comeback, but Shelley drops him with a clothesline. He slams Lethal down hard, but misses with a Lionsault. Lethal hits his hip toss/dropkick combo. Shelley comes back with a jawbreaker. Lethal counters that with a neckbreaker and a suplex. Lethal rolls Shelley up and almost catches him. Lethal goes up top for a hurricanrana, but Shelley counters it with a Super Atomic Drop. Lethal fires back with a German Suplex with a bridge, but only gets a two count. Lethal breaks up a Superplex attempt by knocking Shelley off the ropes. He hits a top rope Headbutt, but only get a two count. Shelley ends up hitting Sliced Bread #2 to get the win. It was a little out of nowhere, but it fit into the match.

Borash is backstage with Team Canada. Bobby Roode talks trash about The Naturals. Coach D’Amore continues with the verbal assault. He also says that everybody is overlooking Team Canada in the upcoming World X Cup. Alex Shelley interrupts to get Eric Young, saying they’ve got to get work. Young says his Canadian Danger Sense is tingling and he has an idea. D’Amore is shocked.

MATT BENTLEY V. LANCE HOYT

Bentley is wearing chaps and Traci looks like she just stepped out of the Smooth Criminal video. Hoyt backdrops Bentley early on, and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Traci tries to distract Hoyt, but to no avail. Bentley catches him with a boot in the corner to gain the advantage. He kicks at Hoyt’s knee, but Hoyt comes back with a powerslam. Bentley tries a comeback, but eats a side slam instead. The Hoytamaniacs are running wild. Bentley counters Hoyt in the corner and hits a neckbreaker from the middle rope. Bentley continues to work the neck of Hoyt. Lance catches Bentley charging with a one armed flapjack. It’s Hoyt’s turn to kick some ass now. He hits his pumphandle slam for a two count. Hoyt crashes and burns on a moonsault. Bentley goes for a superkick, but Hoyt counters it. Bentley escapes and drops Hoyt for a two count. The match is interrupted by Eric Young, Alex Shelley, and Jeremy Borash in the rafters. Young’s brilliant idea was to drop flyers from the rafters that said “Have You Seen This Man?” with a picture of Sting. Hoyt takes advantage of the distraction and levels Bentley with a running big boot to get the pin.

Borash gets backstage super fast, or uses the technological advancement of video tape, to interview Rhino, Killings, and Team 3D. Killings ends it with a line from his song, ripping off the classic single by Black Sheep. Ray stops Devon before the head off and says, “You’ve gotta teach me Ebonics.” Alrighty then…

TEAM CANADA (YOUNG/ROODE) V. THE NATURALS

I’ll still say that The Naturals have the best theme music in TNA. The Canadians take the early advantage. Tenay and West give the Canadians credit for their abilities, but they hate that they’re affiliated with D’Amore and their tactics. Stevens whiffs on a dive out of the floor. Young and Roode isolate Stevens. Roode nails Stevens with a middle rope knee drop for a two count. Young and Roode work on Stevens’ neck, and Tenay doesn’t bring up that Chase recently returned from a broken neck. I’m disappointed in you, Mike. Stevens tries to fight his way to his corner, but to no avail. Young is great, he’s so proud of himself when he comes up with an idea. Usually, his ideas don’t work, but anyway. He gets kicked off the top rope and takes a huge bump to the floor. A-1 drags him over to the Canadian corner and Roode tags in. He takes out Douglas, but Stevens is able to escape him and eventually get the hot tag. Douglas gets a two count with a double arm DDT on Roode. The Canadians get Stevens caught on the top rope and go for a double superplex. Douglas runs over and hits the Tower of Doom spot. Young clobbers Douglas with the hockey stick while the ref isn’t looking to set up the pin.

Borash is backstage with Monty Brown. Brown is about to hit his big “Pooooooouuuuuunnnnnccccceeee” line, but Zybysko interrupts. He says that Earl Hebner will be referee to keep a level playing field. Brown tells Larry off, hits his line, and leaves.

JAMES GANG V. LAX

Konnan yells at everybody in Spanish. He then talks trash to the James Gang, saying he hates all of them, the fans, and Orlando. Bullet Bob brings it old school with his singlet. Bullet is a badass. BG says that there won’t be any silly catch phrases tonight, you punk bitches. The LAX doesn’t stand for that, and gets promptly tossed out of the ring. Bullet Bob is wearing boots that are older than most of the TNA roster. LAX gangs up on BG in the corner. A distraction breaks up the Shake Rattle and Roll attempt. Kip is pissing a hissy fit in the corner. BG tosses Homicide off during a tornado DDT attempt. The dreaded double cross body block is next, and both men are down. Machete and Kip tag in. Kip is in rare, crazed form. BG flies to the outside on Homicide. Konnan is left in the ring with Bullet. Konnan swings and misses with the slapjack, and Bullet Bob kicks his ass. BG goes for the pumphandle on Machete, but Homicide is there with a chair. Bullet breaks it up and BG kicks the chair into Homicide’s face. Machete is left with his three opponents. They takes turns punching him and Kip hits the One & Only to get the win.

Borash is back with Shelley and Young backstage. They go into a bathroom where a trenchcoat and bat and in the floor. Young tells Sting to come on out, but AJ Styles comes out instead. Young asks if Sting was in the stall with him, and AJ looks a little offended. He wonders about Young and Shelley hanging out in the bathroom together, and tells Shelley that his camera work is going to get him hurt.

PETEY WILLIAMS V. PUMA V. SONJAY DUTT V. CHRIS SABIN

Sonjay needs to find some friends to form a Team India for the World X Cup. Puma and Dutt start things off. Sabin and Petey tag in after a speed display. Sabin drops Petey with a springboard dropkick. All four men are in at this point. Sonjay gets the best of it with a basement dropkick to Sabin. Puma locks in a wacky hold on Sabin. Puma is the man in peril, with Petey continuing the assault. Sonjay tags in and hits a Lionsault. Is that the move of the night or something? Puma kicks out at two. He’s finally able to tag out to Petey. Sabin tags Petey out, breaking up the Oh Canada nut stand. Sabin hits his really mean looking hesitation dropkick while Sonjay’s in the Tree of Woe. Sonjay reverses out of a surfboard hold and puts it on Sabin. Sonjay hits the “flying hip attack” (hey, that’s what Tenay called it) on Sabin in the corner. Sabin and Puma trade vicious kicks and chops in the middle of the ring. Petey tags in and attacks Sabin. He hits the Oh Canada on Sabin. Petey takes Sabin out to the floor, and then hits a springboard hurricanrana on the outside. Puma flies out to take them both out. Dutt wants to fly as well, but Puma cuts him off with a clothesline. Puma goes all Spiderman trying to fight off Sabin, hanging in the ropes. Sabin hits a suicide dive on Petey. Puma wants to fly, but Dutt gets his revenge. Dutt ends up hitting a moonsault to the outside on everybody. Back in the ring, Puma kills Sabin with a enziguiri. Petey hits the Side Candian Leg Sweep. While I was typing that last sentence, they hit about 834 moves. Petey gets Puma in the Sharpshooter, but Dutt breaks it up. Petey DDT’s Sonjay, but Sonjay counters the Canadian Destroyer with something resembling an inverted, reverse Pedigree. Sabin and Dutt face off. Sabin gets the better of it, but Puma breaks it up. Sonjay wanted to go for the Indian Destroyer, but Petey wasn’t having it. Once again, they hit about 923 moves while I was typing that sentence. Petey ends up hitting the Destroyer on Dutt. Sabin pulls Petey up for the Cradle Shock, but he escapes. Puma breaks up Petey’s move on Sabin and hits a double underhook suplex. Sabin is finally able to hit a Cradle Shock for the win. They hit a ridiculous amount of moves towards the end, but it actually worked.

Team Jarrett talks with Borash backstage. Jarrett says they’re through looking for Sting, Sting can come find him in the ring if he wants.

JEFF JARRETT/AMW/ABYSS V. RON KILLINGS/TEAM 3D/RHINO

Rhino charges to the ring as usual, but waits for reinforcements to enter the ring. Everybody brawls in the ring to start. Killings squares off with Jarrett, which I don’t remember seeing often. Rhino and Abyss brawl into the bleachers. Rhino goes for the Gore off the bleachers again, but Abyss drops him with a big boot. This is the exact opposite of the last match, good booking. Rhino smashes Abyss with a chair at ringside. Jarrett returns the favor to Killings. Team 3D and AMW are brawling somewhere. Jarrett hits Killings in the gut with a chair. Ray is beating the hell out of Abyss at ringside, but Storm cuts it off. Devon drops Harris on the ramp. Rhino and Storm make it to the ring. Tenay and West laugh about Devon actually tagging in instead of just continuing the beatdown. Storm cuts off Devon with a back elbow. Jackie and Gail are arguing off camera according to West. Ray comes in and they go for the Dudley Device, but Harris breaks it up with James Mitchell’s cane. Jarrett comes in to kick Devon’s ass. It appears that Devon drew the short straw for the night. Quick tags by the bad guys keep Devon down. Devon comes back with a diving clothesline on Storm. Ray tags in. He takes out both of AMW. He slings Rhino into a shoulderblock on AMW in the corner. Jarrett breaks up the pin. Rhino press slams Jarrett, following it up with a belly to belly suplex. He sets up for the Gore, but Gail get in the way. She slaps Rhino, and Rhino has ECW flashbacks and sets up for a piledriver. Abyss breaks it up. Jackie and Gail continue the trash talking on the outside. Abyss hits his goofy charge on Rhino in the corner. Jarrett drops Rhino with a sweet dropkick. Storm powerslams Rhino for two. The crowd chants “Brokeback Mountain” at AMW. Ray yells, “Shut up bitches” at Gail and Jackie. Harris has Rhino down with a chinlock, but Rhino starts to show signs of life. Jarrett goes for three pins on Rhino, getting two each time. Storm headbutts Rhino in the nether regions. Abyss goes up and hits a second rope splash. Ray breaks up the pin. A double clothesline takes down both Jarrett and Rhino. Jarrett gets the tag and keeps Rhino from tagging out. Gail and Jackie are still arguing at ringside. Rhino is able to avoid a Harris shoulderblock in the corner and finally get a hot tag to Killings. Killings drops Harris with his spinning forearm. He avoids an Abyss splash, which ends up hitting Storm. He gets a two count on Storm after a jawbreaker. Everybody’s in the ring again. Mitchell gives Jarrett his gee-tar. Killings does a split to avoid the gee-tar shot and Rhino Gores Jeffy. Abyss takes Rhino out and Killings does the same to Abyss. Ray takes Jarrett down and they go for the diving Headbutt. Gail breaks it up, but gets slammed for her trouble. Jackie gets Gail in the same position and it’s a stereo Headbutt/leg drop to Jarrett and Gail. Ray and Devon hit the 3D on Abyss, but AMW hits the Death Sentence on Devon. They try to handcuff Killings in the corner, but Killings somehow turns it around and Harris is cuffed. He hits the axe kick on Storm, but Jarrett attacks next. They trade counters to each other’s finisher, but Harris gets the last laugh by tripping Killings. This lets Jarrett get the Stroke on Killings for the win.

Jarrett grabs a mic and trash talks Sting while standing on the announce table. He gets in the ring and says he’s giving Sting one more chance to prove that he’s not a quitter. He counts to ten, laying down in the middle of the ring. He says that he’s giving Sting one last count to defend the honor of his rag tag family of “sons and daughters and old ladies”. No Sting, so Jarrett declares himself the winner and says he’s coming after the World Title next.

Borash is backstage with Joe. He compares Joe’s winning streak to Goldberg’s. Joe is super intense with his promo tonight, I like it. He ends with, “With me, it’s not about who’s next, is about who’s left.” Are they planting a seed for Joe v. Goldberg?

ULTIMATE X FOR THE X DIVISION TITLE: SAMOA JOE (C) V. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS V. AJ STYLES

Daniels is in the white robe tonight. I guess that’s the fiery whitemeat babyface robe. AJ breaks out his new yellow outfit. AJ and Daniels go to climb quickly, and Joe fights them off. Joe flips AJ over with a suplex. Joe knocks Daniels off the cables and suplexes him over as well. West questions AJ and Daniels’ strategy. AJ and Daniels combine to take Joe down with a leg sweep/clothesline. AJ sets up Daniels for his patented dropkick, but Daniels grabs the ropes. AJ just does a standing flip instead, and then hits the dropkick. Damn. Joe levels Daniels with a flying knee. AJ hits Joe with the Springboard Angry Man Flying Forearm. Joe back drops AJ onto Daniels on the outside. Joe flies to the outside with his patented spinning plancha. Flying sloppy joes are not fun. Joe goes up to the tables, looking a little tentative. Daniels and AJ recover to take him down. Daniels sets Joe up in the corner and flips him over. He dropkicks AJ to take him down. Daniels enziguiris Joe, and then knocks him outside with a flying knee. AJ cuts him off from climbing though. He snapmares him over and kicks him in the back. Daniels cuts AJ off. AJ grabs the girder to prevent Daniels German Suplexing him off the top. AJ climbs up and hits a Sunset Flip Powerbomb on Daniels. Joe yanks AJ off the cables with an Atomic Drop and kills AJ with a running big boot. He hits the Facewash on Daniels. Joe grabs a chair on the outside. He sets Daniels up in the chair and goes for a Facewash up against the guardrail. AJ comes flying out of nowhere to take Joe out and save Daniels. AJ goes up to the cables again. AJ can’t get a grip and falls off the cable. AJ goes for a splash on Joe, but Joe slams him down. He brings the chair into the ring. Daniels cuts off the Muscle Buster on AJ. Joe starts slapping Daniels, but he starts avoiding it. Daniels starts working the body. He sets Joe up on the corner, but Joe locks in the Kokina Clutch. AJ breaks it up with kick on Joe. AJ and Daniels team up for a double team Muscle Buster on Joe. AJ and Daniels trade shots in the middle of the ring. AJ ends up with the better of it after a spinning kick and a Pele. AJ gets up on the cables, but Joe drops him with a chair shot to the back. Daniels kicks the chair into Joe’s face. It’s Daniels’ turn to climb the cables. He hooks his legs on the cables and shimmies across to pull the belt down and win the X Division Title. That kind of came out of nowhere, huh?

AJ offers a handshake to Daniels in the middle of the ring. Joe is pitching a hissy fit while this is going on, tossing ring steps all over the place.

Borash is in the back with Christian Cage. Christian cuts Borash off to soak in the chants of the crowd. Christian says that Borash is still taking fashion tips from Ryan Seacrest. He says that he takes the best ass kickings in the business, and that’s why the Peeps respect him. I like Christian’s updated old school Ric Flair promos lately. He says that this isn’t the Serengeti, it’s the Peep Zone, you silly bitch! He says that his record in the World Title matches will be the same as his record in Super Bowls, winless.

There’s a lot of time left, I wonder what insanity is coming up.

NWA WORLD TITLE: CHRISTIAN CAGE (C) V. MONTY BROWN

They keep bringing up that Christian isn’t 100% due to Monty’s attack on Impact. He has three cracked ribs from the Pounce into the guard rail. Borash goes down to do the ring introductions, can’t he stay in one place tonight? He does announce Earl Hebner as a TNA official, not a special guest. Christian is sporting some insanely shiny silver tights. He kisses the belt before handing it to Hebner. They start things off slowly, feeling each other out. Nice change of pace from the speed of most of the earlier matches. Christian scores with chops, but Monty cuts him off and tosses him to the outside. He works in a punch to the ribs and drops Christian over the guardrail. They brawl into the crowd like Jeff Jarrett’s involved. Christian fights back until Monty scores with another body shot. They get back to the ring with Christian briefly in control. Monty tosses Christian outside again. Christian’s doing a good job selling the rib injury. Monty slams him into the guardrail again. He grabs a chair, but swings and misses. Back in the ring, Christian misses with a double sledge off the top rope. Monty punches him in the ribs instead. Monty presses Christian down to the floor from the apron. He press slams him onto the guard rail again. Monty punches him and Christian screams in pain. The crowd is slowly getting sucked in. Monty whips Christian into the turnbuckle, sternum first, and follows up with a clothesline. Monty continues the beatdown. Monty hits multiple shoulder blocks in the corner and then a front suplex across the ropes. Christian kicks out at two. Monty locks in an abdominal stretch. Christian elbows his way out, but Monty drops him again. Monty viciously drops a knee into Christian’s ribs. Christian goes for a tornado DDT, but Monty tosses him across the ring. Christian is trying to fight back, but doesn’t get anywhere. He finds an opening though, countering a suplex with a DDT. Hebner counts both men down, but they both get to their feet. Christian blocks another shoulder block with a knee. Monty cuts off another comeback attempt with more punches to the ribs. Christian mounts Monty in the corner with punches, but Monty keeps tossing him off. He drops Monty with a bulldog. He goes to the top, but whiffs on the frog splash. Monty gets Christian in a body scissors, cranking back on the arm and neck. Christian punches his way out of it. Monty press slams Christian on the turnbuckle. Christian headbutts his way out of a superplex attempt, and hits a senton splash for a two count. Monty avoids an Unprettier, countering with an Alpha Bomb. Christian kicks out at two and a half. Monty goes for the fall away slam, but Christian counters. Monty hits an F5 for another two count. Monty goes for the Pounce, but Christian cuts him off with a kick. Monty goes for another Alpha Bomb, but Christian escapes. He’s able to catch Monty with an Unprettier and retain his title.

Jeff Jarrett breaks up the celebration. He has a mic and his gee-tar. He says he came here tonight to do three things, and he’s already done two of them. He says he’s going to make Christian a transitional champ “like your brother up North”. Christian says he isn’t putting the title on the line, but he’ll kick his ass like he did last month. Monty and Jarrett double team Christian. Abyss comes out to join in, and Rhino comes out to help. Team Canada, AMW, and Shelley come out to kill Christian and Rhino. Abyss hits the Shock Treatment on Christian. Harris handcuffs Christian to the top rope. Jarrett whips Christian with a belt. They pass the belt around and take turns wailing on Christian. Where in the blue hell are Killings and Team 3D? Steve Borden comes out of the crowd, sans Sting makeup. He kicks everybody’s ass. He’s left alone with Eric Young. Sting yells and Young wets himself. Sting proceeds to whip the hell out of Jarrett. He locks in the Scorpion Death Lock, but the crowd goes nuts in a bad way. Scott Steiner shows up to take Steve Borden out. He hits his belly to belly suplex and a T-Bone. He locks in the Steiner Recliner. They make Christian watch as Jarrett crawls in and smashes Borden with his gee-tar.

POINTS OF RANDOMNESS

· It’s odd when the most disappointing match to me was the Ultimate X match with three of the best wrestlers going today. It’s not that they didn’t go a good job, it’s just that you expect your mind to be blown after watching them work.

· The four way X Division match was quite the pleasant surprise though. It was the best random multiple person X Division match TNA has had since the Gauntlet at Victory Road in November ’04.

· Nice opener with Shelley and Lethal. The mat wrestling they pulled out early in the match was very cool. Shelley’s quite good at that sort of thing, and Lethal kept up with him nicely.

· So Bentley turns heel and they keep his momentum going with a loss to a stagnant Lance Hoyt? Uh huh…

· I like The Naturals and hate that they’ve been pushed down the card. They’re the tag team jobber to the heels, filling the Diamonds in the Rough slot.

· It’s great that Machete, who was a last minute replacement for Apollo last month, fits LAX a million times better. Good idea on no showing Apollo, let us know how that works out for ya.

· I like this Puma fella.

· I really want somebody new to push their way to the top of the X Division. If that takes AJ and/or Joe getting involved in the World Title scene, so be it. It’s time for some other guys to get their chance. Sabin and Williams both deserve another shot, and Dutt deserves his first chance. I don’t think he’s ever had an X Division Title match, which is a shame.

· Fun brawl in the 8 man tag. I hated the finish, with Killings taking the pinfall, but I understand why they booked it that way. I would’ve liked to have seen him at least try to help out at the end though.

· Joe cut a great promo before his match that really added to his reaction at the finish.

· The match was very good, although a little short. I think these three have hit a wall in what they can do right now. I’m afraid we’re headed for another round at Lockdown though. It’s a shame I’m dreading another triple threat with these three guys, but I am. Sorry, am I kicked out of the IWC club now?

· Monty ended up looking like a complete jobber in the way he lost the main event. He dominates the whole way, taking advantage of Christian’s injured ribs, and then loses to an Unprettier out of nowhere? The Unprettier isn’t that devastating of a move. Are they trying to make it the new Stone Cold Stunner or something? Christian winning was the right move, don’t get me wrong on that, but I think they kind of buried Monty in the process. Some of you will think that’s a good thing.

· Big Poppa Pump looked to be in pretty good shape, and has an insane new tattoo on his chest to boot. It’s almost Perry Saturn crazy, but it’s not on the top of his head. Steiner isn’t completely insane, yet. Interesting that the crowd starting chanting for Goldberg during the beatdown…

· Another good overall show from TNA. Nothing sucked, the James Gang v. LAX match was the worst of the night, but even that didn’t suck out loud. You knew what you were getting going into it, and if you didn’t like it, at least it was short. My match of the night was the four way X Division match, definitely a surprise.

We’ll see what’s up next for TNA on Impact next weekend. Until then…

E-MAIL JASON
BROWSE THE TNA RECAP ARCHIVES

Jason Longshore is your second-most-favorite wrestling fan/writer from Atlanta, GA.


  
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