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OO PPV RECAP
WWE SummerSlam 2006 
August 21, 2006

by Nathan Kyght and Jamie O'Halloran
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

We’re back, and we’re pissed!

Well, we’re back anyway. Greetings from the Great White North for our first ever PPV recap. This one’ll be a bit more “blow by blow” than the SmackDown precap, simply because this show costs money, so it’d be nice to know exactly what went on in detail. 
  

I’m not gonna lie to you either, I gots nothing for the preamble at all. A combination of Jack Daniels, Budweiser, and Mexican food wreaked a terrible toll on my body last night, and my brain hurts. It all seemed so innocent at the time, just a couple of friends having some drinks and watching a pay per view. But, as is the case with the

best laid plans of heavy drinkers, things went decidedly pear-shaped around midnight, and now I feel sad inside.

So, with fingers firmly crossed that this is getting past the ad box, I ask you to keep the noise down, and I walk you through WWE’s Summer Spectacular, a show so awesome thta it works out to about $6.50 a match.

The Show opens with the standard overblown video hype, complete with the assurance that for 19 years, this pay per view has been the goods. Hell, it it’s August’s Bound For Glory!

Welcome to Boston! Welcome to The Biggest party of the Summer!

Pyro and shots of what looks to be a jam packed arena are our first taste of the show, arena, as Michael Cole (!) gets to welcome us to the show. He throws off to the other two announce teams, who assure us that we are in for a treat tonight.

We’ll see.

And enough of that, because I hear some dodgy hip hop music, which means YOUR former World Champion is jerking the curtain!

They do some awkward insertion of video packages during each man’s entrance, rather than putting them on before , but it’s a minor grievance, and we’re off with

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Match starts with a little grappling, which Chavo manages to get the best of. Rey tries a springboard off of the ropes, but Chavo catches him, tries to throw him, but has it countered into an arm drag, and we’re outside the ring. Chavo continues the dominance with standard kicks and punches, and Rey only manages sporadic comebacks. One of these comebacks is cut short when he goes for a Huricanrana, and Chavo tosses him face first into the turnbuckle (looks like a powerbomb done backwards, if you can picture that).

At this point, to the surprise of no one, the crowd starts with the thunderous “Eddie” chant.

In the ring it’s still all Chavo, still mostly punches and kicks. The two of them struggle to the top rope, tease a powerbomb, tease a huricanrana, and then stop with the teasing of awesome spots and instead do some shit bulldog falling thing that Rey gets the better of.

Rey then gets a near fall with a cross bodyblock,

JBL helpfully lets us know that Eddie Guerrero was a groomsman at his Wedding, which meant he had to hire security to keep him away from the open bar. Snap!

Rey continues with his offense, still fairly standard, and then scores with the 619 which gets a pop from the crowd. He gets another good reaction when he finally snaps off the Huricanrana, sending Chavo and himself outside.

And……..Oh Shit.

It’s Vickie Guerrero.

Vickie comes down shrieking about stopping the match, and she slaps Chavo. Then she shrieks some more. Seems to me that she should have come down at the beginning of the match if she was so dead set against this fight. Ah well. Chavo and Rey roll back into the ring, and then both men get to do the three amigos. The crowd actually begins to boo both of them now, not out of hatred of the match, but out of hatred for this storyline, and God Bless ‘em for it. Vickie jumps up on the ring apron to stop Rey from going to the top rope, but loses her balance, falls, and the ensuing rope shake causes Rey to fall to the mat. Chavo steams in, lands a brainbuster, hits a frog splash, and that’s end game.

And Vickie continues to shriek. Good Lord, does she shriek.

Your winner, Chavo Guerrero, in about 9-10 Minutes

After the match, Vickie limps to the back, and a replay shows that she may have actually twisted her ankle legit when she fell off the apron. Chavo points at the roof a lot, and Rey lays in mid ring, pinned in the opening match, and thinks about the good old days.

Nothing bad to say about the in ring action at all, which isn’t a surprise when you have these two. But this storyline sucks. Sucks out loud. The crowd turning on the match once they started sledge hammering the Eddie point home is telling as well. Please end it. The place where this storyline hatched its Monstrous eggs should be razed to the ground, and poisonous snakes bred there.

Backstage!

And we’re with the most entertaining man on SmackDown, King Booker. King Booker talks in a crappy British accent, and drinks in the hero worship of his Queen. But then Edge arrives! King Booker calls him a “rogue”, and a “squire”. Then they delivered some awkwardly written Stephanie-isms that amount to this: If Edge wins and Book loses, Book has to be Edge’s servant for a day. Vice Versa? Well, then the rated R superstar has to go to SmackDown and kiss Book’s feet. Alright then.

Quick plug for the Greatest manager’s DVD, and we’re back to the ring, where Joey Styles and Taz cash an easy paycheque and let us know that Summerslam? Well, Summerslam is about to get EXTREME.

The Big Show vs. Sabu for the ECW Title, and it’s Extreme Rules!

They dim the lights for this one, but the wrestlers, er “Extremists”, come in through the standard WWE entrance way.

Sabu starts off fiery, nailing Show with chairshots and the Arabian facebuster, but Show no sells it and trips Sabu into the open chair when he tries for the triple jump. Taz says “Look at the chair!” and Joey says “That’s not a chair! It’s scrap!” in a really indignant way, which seems sort of a strange thing to get worked up over. Anyway, Show fucks up the momentum by going for a bearhug, but Sabu extremes his way out of it with an eye gouge. Standard stuff from the guys for a bit, mostly Sabu controlled, including a vicious looking thrown chair to Show’s face. Sabu goes up top with a chair, but drops it, then has to climb down and get it while Show sells that he’s out of it. Crowd boos the screw up. Sabu hears the boos, and goes for the crowd pleaser: It’s table time, which gets a huge pop. Sabu sets the table up in the corner, then takes Big Show down with a bulldog off of the top rope. He sets a chair up, and as Show gets back to his feet, Sabu does a springing bulldog that puts Show through the table. Bigtime “ECW” chant for that. Sabu’s up top again, but Show continues his curious no sell of anything and drops Sabu backwards with the electric chair. He then goes to the second rope and crushes Sabu with that bouncing splash thing that Vader used to always do. Remember when Vader wrestled Shawn Michaels at SummerSlam, and Vader forgot to move when Shawn went for a top rope elbow, and a clearly FURIOUS Michaels screamed “MOVE!” in his face in full view of the camera? That’s how I like me my HBK. Anyway, Show is still in charge and he goes for table #2, and tosses the STEEL STAIRS into the ring. Show puts half the steps on one side of the table, and the other at end number two, setting up a little platform. Sabu tries to spring off it, but fucks it up to no end, and sort of has to climb up Big Show to save the spot. He then DDT’s show down through the tables. Result? More of the no-sell. Huh. Show gets back up, and chokeslams Sabu through a third table, and gets the duke.

Your Winner, and still ECW Champion, The Big Show, in maybe 7-8 Minutes.

Nothing to hate about it. There were two BRUTAL botched spots, but that sorta comes with the territory in a Sabu match. They kept it short, there was enough “plunder” to keep people into it, and the right guy one.

Two matches in, neither of which has sucked.

Now we get JR and King, who do a quick recap of the Diva Finals on Wednesday night. Cough.

Backstage!

Layla goes into the Diva locker room, where all of the other Divas are bitchy to her. Trish leads the charge, and cuts into her about winning a contest and thinking she’s a Diva. But shut the front door, it was a ruse! Turns out Trish was kidding, so they all giggle, then drag Layla into the shower. Then they spank her and spray water on her bOObs. Just like how girls act in real life!

So much for nothing sucking on the show.

And then?

Well, believe it or not, we’re getting the Hulkster in the third match.

Quick recap of the “feud”, which is essentially built around the notion that Randall wants to bang Brooke Hogan, and doesn’t like Hogan’s reality show.

Ring entrances, including a SUPER long Hogan one, gets us to

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

The crowd is WAY into Hogan.

Match starts in the usual Hogan way, with some powered out of collar and elbows, and much wincing and shock from his opponent. Then Randall slaps on a fucking headlock, at about 18 seconds in. Hogan’s all “nuh-uh” though, and we get a little more powering out. Hogan, for some reason, has chosen to grow the hair he has to a strangely long length, and it keeps getting messed up, making him look like Nick Nolte in that famous mug shot. Not much to this one so far at all, but Randy gains the advantage with some forearm shots and kicks. Orton pulls Hogan to his face to give him the dreaded turnbuckle face smash, but Hogan reverses it into the equally dreaded nine punches in the corner and a bite to the face. At one point in here, Hogan does the Crotch Chop. Huh. More punchy-kicky, which JR comments on thusly: “Nothing pretty about this attack”. Right on JR, right on. Hogan keeps with more punching. And more punching. Sigh. And then? Yep. More punching. If this match was playing in an empty arena, it would be beyond shit thus far. Orton manages to squirm to the outside, and then goes to work on Hogan’s NOT YET SURGICALLY RESTRUCTURED knee! Back in the ring for some more knee related offense, but then Randall blows it by missing a cross bodyblock from the top. Hogan mounts a punch related comeback, but Orton avoids the “Big Boot!” and nits a shitty looking RKO. And then, can ya guess what happened? Three count! BUT WAIT! Turns out Hogan had a foot on the rope, so the Ref restarts the match. And then, for those that answered my previous question with “Hogan hulks up, does the three punches, hits the big boot, lands the legdrop, and gets the pin”?. Well, this time you’re right.

Your Winner, Hulk Hogan’s Creative Control, in about 10 Minutes

Meh. Like I said, without the crowd, this would have been near unwatchable. Lots of boring offense, lots of predictable crap. With the crowd though, it was tolerable, but thank Vinnie Mac for having the foresight to not put this on last.

After the match, Hogan flexes for ages, and then we go a recap of something to do with Comcast’s announcement of 24/7 service.

Backstage!

Mick F’N Foley is talking with Melina. Seems Melina would like Mick to call off the match, as she only associates with Winners, and if he loses? Well…..

But Mick won’t have it! He says he will not lose, and he will force the letters “I-Q-U-I-T” out of the mouth of the piece of crap! He storms off all motivated, as Melina gives a knowing grin. Job done.

Standard ring entrances, and we’re looking at

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair in an “I Quit” Match

Match starts quickly, with Foley attacking Flair before he’s disrobed. He beats Flair into the corner, and then hits him with a running garbage can shot, followed by Socko. Foley offers the Mic, but Flair won’t quit. “You’re gonna suffer”, Mick promises, and then wraps socko in barbed wire. But Flair won’t have it, and grabs Mick by the balls, steals the barbed wire wrapped socko, and chops the hell out of Mick. No fake wire here, as Foley’s shirt rips to shred, and his chest begins to bleed heavily. Crazy good. They spill outside where Mick gets whipped to the steel steps, but Foley regains the advantage with a right hand, and then drags out the barbed wire board. And now, it gets fucking nasty. He beats Flair with it, and Flair begins to bleed. Really heavily. Foley tosses Naitch back into the ring, and uses wire to open Flair up even more. The crowd, being dicks, chant “We Want Fire”. Foley uses the board twice more, including a rough looking spot where he dives onto Flair with it. Flair is absolutely gushing blood now. The option to Quit is offered, but Flair tells Foley to “Kiss My Ass”, leading Foley to beat Flair wit the mic until it falls apart. And now it’s thumbtacks time. I think to myself that it’ll be Mick in his jacket and shirt that take the bump, but I am horribly, terribly wrong. Foley slams Flair into the tacks, and Flair is covered in them. He screams and rolls out to the corner, and we get awesome shots of a thumbtack covered Nature Boy spurting blood from his ripped to shred forehead. This match is fucking AWESOME so far. Foley grabs the barbed wire baseball bat from under the ring and uses it to continue cutting up Flair’s face. Meanwhile, Hogan calls for medics in the back when he catches his finger on the staple on his contract. Probably. Anyway, Flair gets the bat now, and hits Mick in the bicep wit it until Foley’s arm is bleeding heavy, and looking nasty. Foley won’t quit, so Flair knocks him off of the ring apron into a SICK looking back bump on the floor. And that? Well, that’s it, because the trainer stops the match. But wait! Flair says that that ain’t the kinda match he signed on for, so no dice, and he starts beating on Foley again, rolling him through the thumbtacks back into the ring. Flair rubs the bared wire in Foley’s face, opening him up. Foley’s arm and face are now bleeding to the point of actually being “gory” as opposed to just “bloody”. Melina runs down, shrieks for Naitch to stop, and then throws in the white towel. And that? Well, that’s it, ‘cause the ref calls for the bell. But wait! Flair didn’t sign up for that kinda match either! So he keeps with the barbed wire beating for a minute, and then goes for a running shot with the bat. Melina jumps in the way though, and Foley Quits, presumably to stop Flair from hurting Melina. And that? That’s it.

Your Winner, Ric Flair, in about 13-14 minutes of Brilliance

I loved that match. Loved it. These guys put on the match of the night by a mile, and if you can check it out, do so. Unbelievable.

After the match, a torn up Foley gets a smattering of applause for his efforts. Shoulda been a Standing O Mick.

Backstage!

Armando Alejandro Estrrrraaada! talks with the McMahons. They talk about how wicked-good Umaga is. That’s all.

And back in the arena, Sharmell assures it’s time to hail the King! And we’re off with

King Booker vs. Batista for the SD Heavyweight Title

After the last match, these two haven’t got much of a chance. It starts slow with some feeling out, ending with Booker slapping Batista in the corner, and Bats shoving the champ down. Batista gets the early advantage with a bodyslam, which cause Booker to fuck off up the ramp in an attempt to get counted out. Bats won’t have it though, and they’re back in the ring where Book gets in some kicks, before getting the spinebuster, and then rallying to hit Batista with a rope choke. A hotshot keeps the Champ in control, and some punchy-kicky keeps him there. Book lays in a headlock that goes on way too long, and then Bats briefly rallies with some punches and forearms. Crowd chants “Boring”. Book nails Batista with his Royal Scepter, breaking it across his neck, and then got a two. Another headlock, and the crowd is shitting all over this match. Batista powers out and crotches Book on the top rope, then slams him for a two, causing Book to run to ringside again. Back in the ring, Sharmell distracts Batista long enough for Booker to hit a missile dropkick, and a book end for a two. Batista counters a scissor kick into a powerslam for another near fall, then hits some clotheslines and a full nelson slam. Batista calls for the Batista bomb, but Sharmell grabs him, and that’s it.

Your Winner, By DQ, King Booker, in about 10 minutes

After the match, Batista gives Book the Batista Bomb, then pouts mid-ring.

Pretty dull, especially after the preceding match.

DX are sows talking to somebody about having their back tonight. Undertaker? Kane?

Quick plug for Jeff Hardy’s return takes us to a recap of the DX-McMahons feud, which means it’s time for

Degeneration X vs. The McMahons

Trips and Shawn do their Buffer intro, and out come the McMahons. Or do they? Seems they have a master plan, and it involves lotsa run-ins. First up is the Spirit Squad, who get destroyed by DX in about 5 seconds of punches and pedigrees. Vince and Shane are all “Well, Fine! But we have more!” And out come Kennedy, Regal, and Finlay! These three have a bit more luck, and DX takes a beating in ring. A brief DX comeback ensues, but then, curiously, we get the Big Show. The four on two beat down goes on for a bit, and then Trips gets chokeslammed through the ECW table.

Which means the match can start!

The McMahons roll Michaels into the ring, and take turns slapping him around. At one point Trips tries to intervene, but is slide kicked by Shane, right into JR’s lap. Typical but entertaining offense by the McMahons, that gets a little great when the give Shawn the old Demolition finisher, which JR calls them on. Then, it’s fun time, as the McMahons hit the Hart Foundations finisher (complete with an awesome Bret impersonation by Shane-o), and the Doomsday Device. Hunter finally gets into his corner, and Michaels hits the hot tag. Trips spinebusters Shane, and bodyslams Vince, letting Michaels hit the Macho Man elbow. Shane gets clotheslined to the outside by HBK, and Umaga hits the ring. He kicks Michaels, and then hits Trips with the Samoan Spike. But wait! Yup, it was Kane. Kane comes to the ring and beats down Umaga, taking him out of the match. Shane sets up Trips in the corner for the garbage can Van Terminator, and then, in mid air, gets superkicked by Michaels. Great spot, that was almost missed because Kevin Dunn didn’t want to give us a friggin’ wide shot. Douche. Then it’s endgame, as Vince takes a trash can shot, sweet chin music, and finally the pedigree for the pin.

Your Winners, DX, In about 15 minutes

After the match Michaels looked to be legit hurt with a shoulder problem.

Well, it certainly wasn’t a classic, but it was fun as hell, and exactly what it needed to be. Good stuff.

A quick plug for Wrestlemania airs, followed by a recap of the Cena-Edge feud, and it’s main event time

John Cena vs. Edge for the WWE Title

Cena gets booed in his hometown. Ouch. Imagine what it’ll be like next month in Toronto?

Match starts fast with Cena getting the advantage in the form of a belly to belly suplex, and some punching. Edge knocks Cena t the floor, but he gets back in at an 8 count. Thunderous “Cena Sucks” chant starts. Cena tries for a superplex, but Edge counters with a top rope clothesline for a 2 count. Edge slaps on a chin lock for a bit, until Cena samoan drops out of it. The crowd boos the hell out of the Cena comeback. Lita slides Edge a chair, but Edge denies her, citing the “Lose the title on a DQ” rule. Fair enough.

Cena rallies with some kicks and punches, and suddenly the Pro-Cena contingent pipes up. He did his normal sequence, ending with the five knuckle shuffle, and an attempted FU that Edge turned into an Impaler DDT. Nice sequence. Cena grabbed a victory roll for a 2, then lifted Edge for the FU., but Edge gets out of it. Edge the charges Cena, and accidentally bumps Lita to ringside. Edge tried the spear but gets caught in the STFU, which he breaks by getting to the ropes. Crowd is really into this now. Lita slides brass knuckles to Edge, then jumps in the ring. Cena lifts Egde for the FU, then catches Lita rushing in and lifts her on Edge’s back. Great Spot. He FU’s Lita off, but Edge escapes, nails Cena with the Brass knucks, and gets the pin.

Your Winner, and STILL WWE Champion, Edge, in about 15 minutes

Great match, and good for third best of the night behind “I Quit” and DX. These guys really put on a hell of a show.

Overall Thoughts:

A bit underwhelming for the most part, and it never really “felt” like SummerSlam, if that makes sense. Still, the “I Quit’ match was a masterpiece, and the last two matches on the show were fun and entertaining. That’s enough for me to give the thumbs up.

Take Care.

E-MAIL RICK
BROWSE THE PPV RECAP ARCHIVES


  
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
 
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!
 
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
 
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
 
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
 
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
 
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!
 
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
 
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RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over
 
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
 
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
 
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
 
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
 
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PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
 
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SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome
 
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SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?
 
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power
 
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
 
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
 
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
 
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
 
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
 
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!
 
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
 
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
 
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

 

 

 


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