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The Rock's Superpower is... UltraJobbing?
March 10, 2003

by Big Danny T.
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


15 minutes out, and we are live from the Gund Arena and we have Booker T vs. the Rock, but Never mind that, We have Stone Cold at the top of the hour!

Star Trek. Ahh, "The Traveler. The power of good feelings will get you to where you need to go!

WWE leader, and it looks like Eric is still gone from it.

But! He’s the first face we see. He's recanting his stance from last week. He tells the group of assembled heels that they are to make Stone Cold feel welcome. They give the, 'Oh yeah!" mumblings, and Eric chastises them and tells them he's serious, that he'll call Stone Cold out and bury the hatchet. Heels are dismissed and The Chief asks him if it's a good idea or not. This is interrupted by The Rock clearing his throat loudly. After dismissing The Chief, The Rock declares that his match with Booker T tonight is off. His one desire, to the exception of all others, is to accomplish something he's never accomplished before: Defeating Austin at WrestleMania. As for tonight, Rock says that he'll take care of his opponent for tonight...

And we are directly into Kane and RVD. JR mentions that they are one of the most effective teams in WWE history. Right, I’d say that Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit would have something to say about that. They are taking on The Vitamin C's (Jericho and Christian). We go over Chris's chairing down of HBK from last week. Back to the present day, and Chris and Christian are posing to the crowd. Christian and RVD start. Side headlock on RVD. Off the ropes, Shoulder block, but RVD flips Christian over, and then scores a reverse kick. Cover, get's 2. Christian gets away, Jericho tagged in. Gets a quick bulldog. Jericho whips RVD around. Jericho tries a whisper in the wind, eats a dropkick for his trouble. RVD tags Kane, Kane in to tear things up. Rights for Jericho. Christian tries to come in; Kane knocks him off the apron. More Kane offense, grabs Jericho for the choke, Christian tries to fly in, but Kane grabs him as well. Chris and Christian hit double cheap shots, though, Kane thrown into his corner. Jericho charges in, Kane back body drops out of the ring. Tag to RVD, and RVD gets the flying leap to kick Christian in the mush. Rolling thunder. Kane rams Jericho into the ring steps, then rolls him in. RVD up for the 5 ***** Frog Splash. He misses, and Jericho is up for the Lionsault. Nails it. Cover, 1-2-3! Jericho hightails it up the ramp while RVD protests. As he makes it to the entrance, HBK is waiting on him, and Delivers a Sweet Chin Music. He stands over Jericho, talks some trash (“I’ll see YOU at WrestleMania!”), HBK pose, and we are off to…

Commercials. Hype for GGW this Thursday.

Booker T is out. He's disappointed in the Rock, saying he don't want none. That's all right; Rock can be scared if he wants. Booker is out, however, to rebut HHH's comments last week. Yeah, Booker is an entertainer, and he loves it.  He goes over his genealogy: youngest of 8 Kids, Father passed away when he was young, He made a mistake when he was young and got sent to jail. Upon his release, he assessed his life, and took steps to be where he is today. He goes over HHH's comments that people like him can't win championships. Well, if HHH wants to call him on it, then he can walk the aisle, and he'll dance all over his ass when he wins the belt at WrestleMania! Now can you dig that Suckaaaaaa?

Ric Flair comes down in HHH's stead. Ric says he ain't Michael Jordan, he ain't Tiger Woods, and he damn sure ain't HHH. Ric Gives Booker props for being tough enough to spend 19 months in Jail, but HHH doesn't want to lower himself to Bookers level. HHH does have an offer for him, tho. Booker can meet him in St Louis, Get his bags, Drive his limo, and check him into the hotel, OR He can show up at the arena, uninvited, and get the ass whipping of a lifetime. Booker makes sure that HHH is in the back, and Lays Ric out with a BIG right hand and goes looking for HHH. Replay of the right to Naitch, and we are backstage and Booker has found HHH's dressing room. He finds him finishing up after visiting the necessaries. "Yo, HHH, You got something to say?" "Yeah. *Pops a dollar and throws it at Booker* Get me a towel." Booker goes ballistic on HHH and leaves him lying as we go to commercial.

Moments ago, Booker T got himself noticed by HHH.

Now: HHH is recovering, and says that Booker jumped him from behind. Ric and HHH go on the hunt. Out in the Arena, Jeff Hardy is out to take on Rico (W/ Jamal and Rosie). We get a quick arm drag by Rico, but that is interrupted by Stone Cold's arrival. HE storms through a door causing a poor assistant to spill her drink. Back to the ring, Rico has Jeff in control, until a Whisper in the Wind turns the tide. Rico knocked out of the ring. 3MW help him back in, Jeff gets the Poetry in Motion off Rico’s back to take out 3MW outside of the ring. Back in, Swanton, and Rico looks at the lights. 3MW into the ring to chase him off.  Backstage, HHH is looking for Booker apparently as he meets up with Maven and some jobber. TNN experiences sound difficulties, so we get the silent movie version of the exchange. The Jobber says something that HHH doesn't like and he gets smacked down. Maven tells HHH that this guy wasn't even on Tough Enough and calls him "Numb nuts!" HHH grabs Maven and tells him to get his gear on and meet him in the ring in 30 minutes.

Back from commercial, and Steve is enjoying a Hot Dog as he walks along and he meets up with Twitchdust. Goldie’s stuttering and jerkiness has Stone Cold worries. Somehow in all of this Goldie gets out the information that Eric wants to call him out. Steve asks him if he's all right.

Over to a spartan dressing room and The Rock is complaining that he deserves better. He whips out his trusty 6-String and sings a couple bars about Cleveland being lame. He stops as someone walks in. Rock asks him if he's ready to go one on one with the great one. We pan out to see that it's Hurricane. Hurricane responds with the inquiry if Rock is ready to go Toe to Toe with the Superhero. They trade witty barbs, Rock insulting him with the Hamburglar reference; Hurricane brings up Rocks "tiny ding-a-ling!"(complete with hilarious Rock reaction). Rock finishes up by telling Hurricane that this will be the biggest night of his life, and then offering the hand of respect. Hurricane shows that his superpower is definitely not super intelligence and takes it, and Rock cheap shots him, then laughs as we go to commercial, but not before hype for Trish vs. Jazz.

Basic: John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson. Forget plot, movie will be worth it just to have these two guys back together again.

And we return to.... some goofy dork in a TNN shirt telling us to please stand by. We then go into another set of commercials. And the same set of commercials again. When the Mullet's Rock commercial comes on, I start to get worried.

We come back directly from the plethora of mullets to Trish vs. Jazz. Jazz goes right for the tits... I mean Trish, Laying in the rights. Jazz goes up top, Trish runs up and hits the Trish-a-rana. Before much else can happen, tho, Victoria is out and she lays out Trish with the title. She then does the same for Jazz. Well, I guess they had to abbreviate something; this was as good a victim as any.

We have the Lugs boot of the night (3MW getting taken out by Stone Cold), and we continue with the game of catch-up with Eric heading out to the ring. He states that he had never been manhandled by anyone like he had been by Stone Cold. He decides to turn over a new leaf, though, and proceeds to apologize to Stone Cold for firing him via Fed Ex and for saying he'll never amount to anything back in WCW, and to JR for smashing a cinderblock across his head. Bischoff rambles on about how they have a lot in common, (they both wear blue jeans, they both took on Vince and in doing so, changed the face of the industry, they both hunt and fish, they both enjoy a drink every now and then [Stone Cold has his beer, but Eric is a martini guy]), and then says, "What do you say?" This draws the glass shattering, and Stone Cold is out. 4-corner pose. King says that Stone Cold is Bilingual: He speaks English and profanity. Stone Cold grabs a mic, but Eric cuts him off, and proposes that bygones be bygones and offers the hand of respect. Stone Cold is incredulous that Eric would suggest these things, and says pardon his sign language and flips him the bird. Steve takes apart everything about Eric (“your beady little eyes, your stupid haircut, your cheap jacket!”), and says that his speech was boring! BOOOORING! Stone Cold says he's not interested in burying the hatchet, but more in burying his foot in Eric's ass. This brings the Rock out to stop Stone Cold. Steve points out that 15,000 people are saying that Rocky Sucks! Rock says that even though Eric wants to make amends and be friends, Rock wants to slap his face. Stone Cold calls his bluff, but Rocky brings up the past two times that they met in the ring, Stone Cold reminds him that it was he that did the ass kicking. Rock tells him that he's nothing. This elicits a chuckle from Stone Cold, who tells him to take the sunglasses off so he can look him in the eye. Stone Cold tells him to come down; he even lays down so that Rock can have the advantage. Rock declines, saying he'll wait until Wrestlemania. Stone Cold informs him that he's not leaving until he kicks someone’s ass, and proceeds to work Eric over in the corner. The Rock tries to sneak attack though, but Stone Cold is waiting for him and chases him off. Segment ends with Rock and Stone Cold's eyes locked.

Up next: HHH vs. Maven!

Hey, that guy in the Gamecube commercial didn't scan the serial number!

We're back, and tonight we have The Rock vs. Hurricane. The stipulation of No Disqualifications has been added.

But right now, it's time to Play the Game! HHH vs. Maven in a non-title match. Maven is trepedatious. HHH gets in his face, rubbing the title in it. HHH attacks to start, clubbing him down; working him over on the ropes, then slides him out of the ring. HHH out after him to throw him into the ring steps. HHH stalking, rolling him in. HHH comes up to him in the corner. Maven kicks out, gets a couple shots in, but HHH knocks him down again. HHH with the face raking and grinding the forearm into his nose. Couple euro uppercuts. Maven strikes back with some jobber offense, mounting him in the corner, but HHH stops that with an atomic drop. HHH picking him up, but Maven answers with a reverse elbow. HHH locks in the Main Event Sleeper. Ref drops the arm once, and HHH throws him down. Standing over him, slaps him around. HHH grabs his head, but Maven gets the jawbreaker, shoves HHH in the corner, and he's on with the TOUGH ENOUGH VIOLENCE! HHH powers out and sends him down with a right. Pedigree, WITH AUTHORITY! (tm JR) 1-2-3. After the match, HHH grabs Maven and wraps his head into the ropes. Al Snow is out to rescue him from imminent choking. HHH then clotheslines and gives Al a pedigree for his trouble.

We check out the exterior of the Gund Arena (I've been there!) and we join Chief and Eric backstage, and Eric is lamenting Stone Colds refusal to play ball. Chief points out that even Vince never tried to make amends. This gives Eric the worst idea since ‘Greedo shot first’ and he challenges Stone Cold to a rematch next week in St. Louis.

King and JR go nuts over the news, and then proceed to shill the GGW PPV on Thursday, and the wet T-shirt contest later tonight.

Backstage, Stacy is on a cell phone with Test and she suddenly hears women in the background and in a moment of blondeness, she figures out that Test in South Padre Island and the GGW PPV isn't until Thursday. She says she's not mad though and hangs up and walks off with a half frown on her face.

Elsewhere, Terri bounces up to Stone Cold who is having a General Foods International Coffee moment with Scott Steiner and asks him what he thinks of the rematch with Eric next week. Stone Cold is just fine with it, and leaves Terri and Scott behind chuckling lightly to himself.

Back from commercials, and we're Dropping the Bombshell with the Dudley Boys! Apparently the suspension has been lifted. Their opponents tonight are The Chief and Lance Storm (W/ some of Cleveland’s finest) But Wait! The Chief has a stipulation. You see, it's only going to be D-Von vs. Morley and Lance. It turns out that their suspension isn't lifted, and the stipulations for D-Von are the same as for Spike last week: D-Von wins, Chief will reinstate the Dudleys.  The bell rings before the cops can clear Bubba out, and D-von attacks, but he is soon overpowered by the two of them. D-Von comes back, tho, tosses Lance, and rolls up Morley for 2, then goes for an inside cradle for another two. D-Von gets some offense in, but Morley comes back, tags Lance in who pounds on D-Von some more. D-von comes back, gets some offense, face planter, pin attempt gets two. Lance comes back, tags Chief in. Chief works D-von over a bit, tags Lance in. D-Von comes back, throws Lance around, Lance gets a shot in, stumbles over to tag Chief in. Chief goes up, Money shot, 1-2-3, and the Dudley’s are STILL suspended.

Hype for the Girls Gone Wild Wet T-Shirt contest up next!

We're back, and we are recapping the hostilities between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels, specifically HBK's attempted rescue of Stacy last week. Then we move on to HBK getting his revenge earlier tonight. This, naturally, leads into the wet t-shirt contest. King is in the ring, and he calls down the Godfather's Ho's! Oh wait, these are girls about to go wild. Their "T-shirts" are orange halter and tie tops. King has the super soaker, and explains that he's going to soak them all down, and the audience reaction will determine the winner. Before he can get started though, Stacy Keibler is out, and apparently she wants in on the GGW fun. She takes the Super soaker from King. She gets ready to fire away, and then King stops her (“Oh Stacy, you don’t want to shoot too early!”) and introduces the girls. Girl #1 is Michele *splash!* Girl #2 is Alexis *splash!* Girl #3 is Colette *splash!*, Girl #4 is Anastasia *splash!*. As King is calling for the Crowd response, Stacy interrupts, and informs us that Test will not be alone at the GGW PPV, that she'll be with him, and that she wants to get wild tonight! King goes ballistic, and tomorrow afternoon we will have a new slew of wet Stacy pics all over the message boards as King soaks her down. Stacy takes her exit, and we cut real quick to Rock backstage and he's ready for his match, Up Next!

We're back to hype for next weeks rematch of Stone Cold and Eric Bischoff.

Our flight over the cityscape brings The Rock out, and he's ready to go toe to toe with the Superhero! Damn, Lillian looks yummy in that outfit...

Hurricane is pissed at the disrespect earlier. Rock has the look on his face that says 'What?" Rock smacks him to start. Hurricane charges in, Rock dodges and smacks him again. Hurricane snaps and lays into the Rock with some stiff right hands. Rock bails to collect his thoughts, but is brought out of his reverie by The Hurricane attacking him outside. Rock back in, Hurricane follows, but Rock gets a Samoan drop out of nowhere. Rock puts the cape on and starts pummeling on Hurricane. Hurricane tries to come back, but Rock right hands put him down. Rock throws the cape away and lays in with a couple boots. Rock drags him over and chokes him on the ropes. Hurricane into the corner, and Rock pounds on him, but Hurricane with some rights to work his way out of the corner. Rock stops that with a knee to the gut. hurricane down, and Rock pretends to fly to mock him. Rock slaps in the rear headlock and puts Hurricane down. Rock has Hurricane on the mat. When the ref checks to see if he gives up, Hurricane gets a surge of energy. Elbows to the gut, Rock rakes the eyes, Rock tries a suplex, but Hurricane flips out, and hits a swinging neck breaker. both wrestlers up, exchange of rights end with Hurricane getting a couple Clotheslines, then hits the Shining Wizard. Hurricane up, flying cross body, Cover, Rock kicks out! Blockbuster by Hurricane, Cover gets two. Hurricane up, tries to whip rock, rock reverses and hits the DDT. Rock waits just a second too long, and hurricane gets a boot to the gut and some punches. Hurricane goes for the choke slam, but Rock breaks out. Rock goes for the chokeslam himself, but Hurricane blatantly nutshots him, and hits the Rock Bottom! Both men down, Hurricane cover, 1-2 NO! Rock kicks out! Both men back up, Rights exchanged with Rock getting the better of it. Rock hits the Rock Bottom. He sets up for the peoples elbow, but he's interrupted by Glass Shattering! Stone Cold is out. Rock goes to talk trash, but Hurricane is there to grab the surprise rollup and 1-2-3! Hurricane hightails it out and Rock is incredulous! As Hurricane celebrates, Steve stares Rock down from the ramp, Reminds him that at WrestleMania he's going to make it 3-0 by pointing to his fingers, and we are out!

Heading closer to WrestleMania, and a little more meat added to the stories. HBK superkicked his way to being even with Jericho (for now), Stone Cold was much more effective this week, Booker made his point rather effectively, and even though it was shortened to an insane degree, the Victoria run in did it's job, setting up the women’s 3-way. I was disappointed that we didn’t get the Booker T/Rock match, but what we got instead was just as good. And Scott Steiner’s total screen time was about 20 seconds and he didn’t even speak. Don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. The GGW was mindless fluff, but hey, gotta have the sherbet to cleanse the palette somewhere. Entertaining and steady, nothing too offensive, even if nothing was earth shattering. Good show tonight. Oh, and special thanks to my friend Doc from Dallas for being my second set of eye’s tonight.



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