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Eric Bischoff, You're... well, Demoted.
Sort of.
April 29, 2003

by Big Danny T.
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


No insightful comments from your humble recapper to start us off this week. Just glad to be back on dayside shifts again and able to recap Raw as it happens, and not half asleep from a full night's work. Oh, and if there is one thing that the past two weeks have taught me: VCR's are our friend.

WWE Leader, and Eric's smiling face beams out to us across the airwaves.

We jump right into "Move to the music!" and Pyro lights up the Fleet Center in Boston!

Coach and King go nuts over Backlash, and Y2J is out to kick us off. In the ring are a couple of tall chairs, and it looks like he's going to treat us to Jericho's Pit! He starts his promo, and yup, that's exactly what he's doing, only it's called "Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel!" For his first show, he got the biggest guest he could get: Goldberg! Wow, he really got him. They aren't wasting any time with this feud. Goldberg makes himself comfortable as the crowd chants his name. Jericho acknowledges that Boston loves him, and goes over Goldberg’s decimation of the Rock last night (Touching on the fact that he has done it time and again). Jericho brings up their storied history in WCW, and brings up that he challenged Goldberg way back when, and Goldberg refused. Goldberg responds that he'd be more than happy to kick Jericho's ass right now. Jericho begs off letting Goldberg know that this is just an interview. Jericho's next question: Who the hell do you think you are Goldberg? Why come to the WWE? Why did he jump in the ring and spear Rock? Why didn't he just stay at home with his pets, or in Japan? Gold berg moves to answer, but...

Christian interrupts the show, looking very hippie. Christian has a better question. And since the Rock named him his favorite wrestler, he guesses that he's the new peoples champion. His question: What did it feel like to get booed last night? He draws massive heat by bringing up the fact that the Red Sox haven’t won a championship since 1918, and you would think that they would leap at the chance to cheer Goldie. Christian nudges a couple times, and Goldberg responds saying that these people paid their hard earned money, and they can boo him or cheer him, it's fine with him, he's here to earn his stripes. He was brought in to do a job, and that job is to destroy everyone's ass that gets in his way. Goldberg remembers that he got a tremendous reaction the last two times he speared Christian, and offers up a third go round if Christian is game.

Jericho jumps back into the conversation letting us know that nobody is getting speared tonight. Jericho tells Goldberg that nobody wants him here in the WWE. Christian chimes in agreement, and brings out 3MW, Steven Richards, and Victoria as examples of people who disagree with Goldberg being here. Christian tells Goldberg that every one of these people deserved the PPV spot last night over him, Especially Christian. Christian lists his accomplishments over the years, and Goldberg interrupts telling them that if they have a problem with him, then all they need to do is come down to the ring try doing something about it. Steven grabs the mic and tells Goldberg that they are not afraid of him, and then leads them down the ramp. The rest of the gang stops before jumping in the ring, tho, leaving Steven to talk trash to Goldberg on his own. Steven realizes a little too late that he's all by himself in the ring, and eats a spear. Goldberg stands over him and we go to commercial.

Moments ago, Steven was the punch line to Goldberg’s latest joke.

In the ring, Steven is just now getting lead out, as the spear was just that DEVASTATING!

As Steven is led away, Hurricane is out for some action. His opponent, Chief Morley. Hurricane sized him up, Lock up; Morley tosses him across the ring with ease, and then mocks the Hurricanes pose. Hurricane in turn grabs his cape, wraps it around him, and mocks Morley’s old Val Venis days. Chief shares in the chuckle, and offers the hand of friendship, then tries for the sneaky clothesline, Hurricane ducks and returns with rights. Atomic Drop, snap mare, then a rollover into a pin, only gets 2, tho. Hurricane with the headlock, Chief reverses, but Hurricane works his way up into an arm bar. Chief gets out with a knee to the gut. Big Body slam, then laying the boots on. Double underhook, knees to the mid section, suplex, pin gets 2. Chief slaps on the surfboard, then a chin lock. Hurricane struggles out, some elbows, but comeback is stopped by a spine buster. Chief goes for an arrogant cover, Hurricane kicks out. Chief goes for a more secure cover, Hurricane kicks out. Chief back up with the clubbing blows to Hurricanes back. Chief goes for the hat trick of vertical suplex's, but on the third, Hurricane reverses into Eye of the hurricane! Hurricane back with the flying clothesline, flying neck breaker. Cover gets 2. Shining Wizard misses. Chief grabs him and hits a turn around power bomb, but Hurricane kicks out. Chief with a body slam, and going for the Money Shot. Hurricane dodges, and hits the Overcast, Pin, 1-2-3! Hurricane celebrates!

Backstage, HHH is in his gear and happy with himself. He barges in on Ric Flair perusing the latest Raw with HHH on the cover. Ric proceeds to verbally fellate HHH, calling him the greatest champion of all time. HHH returns the favor, saying he doesn't care what anyone else thinks, that as long as Ric says so, it's all that matters to HHH. HHH owes a lot to Ric, and feels that he should be wearing gold as well. That's why he went to Bischoff tonight and got them a Tag Match against Kane and RVD for the titles. Ric likes what he hears. We go to commercial.

The Real Cancun: Rated R for language, nudity, strong sexual content and partying. Partying? Since when did that become a criterion for the determination of ratings?

Back, the promo for the WWE Yearbook is followed by Rodney Mack and Theodore Long and his "5-Minute white boy Challenge." Theodore really pushes the boundaries of creative thinking by saying that Larry Bird would never have even been thought of if he'd been black. Come on, in basketball, being white is actually considered a handicap! In the ring, it's another No Name (Anyone from the Boston area know who this local worker is?), and Rodney proceeds to show off his power arsenal on the jobber, getting the pin fall in about 2 minutes.

Afterwards, Theodore congratulates Rodney on his victory against whitey. He then proceeds to call out the woman that turned Backlash into "Blacklash!": Jazz. Jazz is out, accompanied by balloons (The black ones I understand, but why Green and Red?) Jazz poses around the ring while Trish seethes in back. Trish finally has enough and storms off (presumably to commit some sort of hate crime) and we see Tommy Dreamer has been checking her ass out! And he's got Jonah from TE 3 with him! We fade to commercial with more Jazz posing.

Wolverine's Revenge: Hugh Jackman on the cover, Mark Hamill's voice on the game. Just a funny thing I noticed.

Back, quick hype for WWE.com, and we are presented with Eric. Trish walks in and sticks her crotch in his face. Trish demands a rematch, and states that she'll do anything to get it. Eric goes into total letch mode, and says that she can face him for a match tonight. If she wins, then she gets her shot. Trish readily agrees, and then Eric puts the addendum on that if she should lose, then they will go back to his place and do some wrasslin of their own. Trish realizes she's been suckered in, but still is confident that she can beat him. She walks off and Eric shares a chuckle with himself.

Elsewhere, Test and Stacy talk about Steiner and Torrie. Test says that he knows Stacy doesn't have anything for Steiner, and swears that he has no interest in Torrie (hopefully Stacy won't watch the Backlash video.) Test just wants to put it all behind them, but can't understand why Stacy would team them up again. Stacy sees potential in the two of them, that maybe someday they could be the champs. Test scoffs at this, but agrees to team with Scott on one condition, that Stacy start trusting him again. Stacy says she wants to, and walks off.

Still elsewhere, Ric and HHH are WALKING! Their match with RVD and Kane (who are also WALKING!) is up next.

The call of the night (brought to you by 1-800-CALL-ATT) is HHH using nefarious means to get the duke on Kevin Nash last night.

In the ring, Lillian looks totally delish in the ring as she introduces the competitors. Our first, HHH and Ric. Wow, WWE actually allowing tradition to have the nod and letting the champs enter first.

Ric and Kane start. Lockup, Ric tries to force Kane into the corner, but Kane throws him off. Kane throws him around again, but Ric struts to shake it off. Kane Takes over, tho and proceeds to abuse Ric. Kane beating Ric down in the corner. Gorilla press slam, tag attempt stopped, and Kane tags RVD in. RVD with the educated feet, but Ric gets the Greco Roman eye poke and tags HHH in. HHH eats a spinning heel kick to start, and RVD kicks him out of the ring. RVD with the plancha to take Ric and HHH out. HHH rolled back in and RVD tries to follow, but Ric grabs his leg. RVD chases Ric off, gets back in the ring, but the distraction allowed HHH to get the advantage and he floors RVD with the clothesline.

Meanwhile backstage, Sean Michaels makes his TV appearance for the week to inform somebody on the phone that "He's in the ring right now, like a sitting duck." We break for commercial to ponder who, oh who could it be that HBK was talking to.

Back from commercial, and Kane has HHH up in the air. Slamming HHH down, tag to RVD, RVD slingshots himself in, nearly taking HHH’s face off with his boot. Cover, only gets 2. RVD working on HHH in the corner, working in an interesting springboard into a dropkick. Spinning leg drop, and cover gets 2. RVD working on HH some more, but Ric interferes and eats a right hand for his trouble. RVD turns around into a spine buster. Tag to Ric, Ric with the knife-edges and the CHARLOTTE VIOLENCE! on RVD in the corner. Ric keeps the offense up whipping him into HHH's knee. HHH tagged in, they exchange punches, RVD running the ropes, but he eats a HHH knee. Tag to Flair, who falls prey to RVD's fists. While RVD works on Flair on the mat, Flair sticks his hand out and HHH tags in. HHH pounding down on RVD and working him over in the corner and on the ropes. Earl Hebner pulls HHH of him, but Ric takes advantage of the distraction to pull RVD down and wrap his leg around the ring post. HHH back on RVD and working the now injured leg over. Tag to Ric, and he picks up where HHH left off. Half crab on the bad leg, taunting Kane while he does it. Tag to HHH, he locks in the reversed figure 4. RVD makes the ropes, but Ric stomps RVD's hand, but Earl makes HHH break the hold. Flair tagged in and he goes for the figure 4, but RVD pulls him down into a small package! 1-2-no, Ric kicks out. Tag to HHH. HHH goes for the leg, but eats an Enziguri. Tag to Ric, who runs and tries to stop RVD's tag, but he's too late and has a whole face full of Big Red Machine to deal with. Kane with the beat down. HHH tries to interfere, eats a sidewalk slam for his troubles. Kane up top, Flying clothesline for Flair! Cover, but the count is broken up by HHH. HHH goes for the pedigree, Kane Back Body drops him. Kane going for the choke slam, but Ric chop blocks him. Kane grabs Ric for the choke slam, but HHH chop blocks him. Ric back up and putting on the Figure-4. RVD flies in and takes HHHH out with a flying kick, then breaks up the figure 4 with a rolling thunder! HHH hits a DDT on RVD, then Pedigrees Kane. Before he can do anything else, Kevin Nash is out and he runs HHH off. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it running. More like power walking. He chases him out the backstage area. Back in the ring, Ric is up and posing to the crowd. Kane does the Zombie sit-up, tho, and Ric turns around to see him in his face. Ric goes for some knife-edges, but they have no effect as Kane choke slams him to set up for an RVD 5***** frogsplash. Kane covers, 1-2-3! Champs retain!

Backstage, and HHH thinks he's lost Kevin, but Kevin is channeling Jason from Friday the 13th tonight and he walks up behind him. HHH dives into a limo, and Nash is there with the sledge to smash the rear window. Going to the side window: one hit, 2 hit, taking a big swing, finally the window breaks, but the car eats the Hammer as it drives away. Pan around to Kevin as he tosses his mane and is angry.

Moments ago, Nash chased HHH off, costing them the match. Well, maybe chase is too strong a word.

In the ring, we get the last few bars of Nowinski's music as He and Rico are out to take on Scott Steiner and Test. Steiner and Chris start. Chris gets an early advantage, but come on, it's Scott Steiner, that lasts about 3 seconds and Steiner begins the squash in earnest. Belly to belly, and Scott has opened up already. Rico jumps in and tries something, but Steiner put him down quick. Steiner trying to whip off the ropes, but Chris grabs his ankle. When Steiner leans over to chastise him, Rico takes advantage by throwing a kick to Steiner’s head, sending him out. Chris gets a few cheap shots in and rolls Steiner back in. Rico with some kicks, but Steiner comes back with a belly to back. Stacy outside cheering him on, but Test jumps down and puts a stop to that noise. Steiner is trying to tag while Test is distracted, tho. Chris in to drag Steiner back out. The do a mocking dual elbow drop, Rico covers, gets two. Tag to Chris, and they both beat down on him. Chris mocks Steiner by doing pushups, and then goes for the cover. Steiner kicks out. When Chris tries for some offense, Steiner gets a jerk suplex, and slowly crawls over to make the tag. Test in and running over Chris, getting a couple clotheslines. Big slam for Rico. Corner squashes for both of them. Attempted power bomb on Chris, but he flips out, and goes for a clothesline of his own, but Test ducks and he takes out Rico instead. Full Nelson Bomb on Chris, Cover, Rico breaks it up. Test goes after Rico, Rico kicks him down. Test into the corner, Rico kicking him some more, ending with a sweet looking shining wizard looking kick, using the second rope as a springboard. Rico whips Test out into a forearm by Chris. Test immediately turns around and levels Rico with a kick to the chest. Chris gets a shot to Tests head, and Steiner blind tags in. Steiner with the reverse DDT on Chris, cover, 1-2-3. Stacy in to celebrate with Scott. Test doesn't like this and blows up at Stacy. They storm out of the arena arguing. Scott has a Mic, and gives us the standard spiel. This is interrupted by Le Resistance. They heard Steiner all right, and they also heard what Steiner said 3 weeks ago. We roll the footage of the Steiner-Nowinski debate (Graphic reads "2 weeks ago") and Steiner telling Hollywood that they can go to hell, or France for that matter. Back, and Sylvian says that they could settle this like Americans, but they prefer to not use violence. They proclaim that they are lovers and fighters. Rene tells Scott that they just want to discuss their issues, and tell Scott to not be afraid. They get in the ring and jack jaws for a few seconds. Sylvian strikes first, tho, and Steiner responds in kind. He has the advantage until they bail out the ring. Steiner rammed into the ring steps, rolled back in, and they hit the double flapjack on him. They leave him lying and head out. We go to commercial.

The Whack of the night is the 3-D on Chief Morley from Backlash.

Backstage, and Eric is warming up for his match with Chief looking on. Chief tells Eric that the Dudley’s are suspended indefinitely. Eric tells us that he just got off the phone with the hotel and that they are to have the Do Not Disturb sign out all night, because tonight, he's getting Stratusfied!

Elsewhere, Trish bounces... err, warms up for her upcoming match.

Still Elsewhere, Goldberg happens on Booker. Booker commiserates with Goldberg’s situation, being as how not that long ago, Booker was the new kid on the block in the WWE. He tells Goldberg to take heart, tho, that soon enough the fans would appreciate him. Booker signs off by telling him that he's about to go and introduce Christian to his Size 12, they give each other a pound, and we are off to commercial.

Back, and we have 3 members from the Military police unit 772 that just got back from Afghanistan.

"Can you Dig it Suckaaaaaa?" Booker T (with FIRE!) is out to take on Christian (With crappy theme music remix. what is it with WWE feeling the need to revamp people’s theme music with heavy guitars? First Test now Christian. Both perfectly good theme music’s.)

The circle, lock up; Booker forces him into the corner. Ref breaks them up. Lockup again, Booker into the side headlock. Big Shoulder block for Christian. Booker runs the ropes, lays Christian out with a Clothesline. Christian in the corner, Booker with the knife-edges. Back Body Drop on Christian and Booker with the cover, but Christian kicks out and tries to bail. Booker catches him, but gets hangmanned on the top rope. Christian back with the standard heel stuff, kicking him down in the corner, going for the choke. Booker fights out, but Christian stops that with a dropkick. Cover, gets 2. Christian with the rear headlock. Booker fighting his way up, elbows to the midsection, but Christian yoinks Booker down by the hair. Christian working booker over on the ropes, snap mare, cover, gets 2. Going for the choke, ref counts him off, knee to the throat, ref counts that one off as well. Christian taunting booker, smacking him around. Up on the 2d rope, Christian tries to fly, but Booker catches him and hits a face planter. Booker back up and taking over, Clotheslines, Cover, gets 2. Booker going for the axe kick, but Christian dodges, but walks right back into a spine buster. Cover gets 2 again. Booker going for the sidekick, Christian dodges and goes for the Unprettier. Booker counters and hits the Axe kick! Off comes the hair band, and it's spineroonie time. Jamal and Rosie are out and this draws the DQ. Beat Down commences. Goldberg is out to save, tho. Rico knocked down, Jamal knocked down, Rosie knocked out of the ring! Rico tries to attack Goldberg from behind, eats a spear. Jamal gets a Jackhammer. Goldberg out of the ring, Spearing Rosie through the barricade! Goldberg gets up, shakes it off, and exits through the crowd.

Moments ago, Jamal tested the structural integrity of the barricade, and Christian found out exactly what he was getting into.

As ring techs try putting police tape up on the opening of the barricade, Trish Stratus is out for her match with Eric. Eric has a couple things to say. He asks Trish if she really wants to do this? Because this is now a no DQ. Trish eyes the entrance, but the match starts. Eric taunts Trish, who gives him a kick to the back of the head. Eric begs off until Victoria comes out to try interfering. Trish stops that with a clothesline and tosses Vicky. Jazz is out in short order, knocking Trish down and out of the ring. Chickenwing slam on the floor, and Trish rolled back in for another chickenwing slam. Eric stops her there, telling her he wants Trish conscious for what he's planning tonight. He mumbles on about then teaching each other stuff, then puts us out of our misery by finally rolling her over and pinning her. Afterwards, Eric goes to gloat some more, but a limo just pulled up, and it's time for Linda McMahon to make her triumphant return! AS soon as Eric sees this, Eric's tone changes, desperately calling for help for Trish. As Linda makes her way to the ring, we go to commercial.

WWE confidential this weekend is about Jesse Ventura. People were marking that this might herald his return to the WWE. Me? I'll be marking when we get the Bret Hart Confidential.

Linda is out (is that a couple wolf whistles I hear?) She is here to speak on behalf of the board of directors for the WWE, and they are not pleased with everything they've been seeing. Linda calls Eric out to the ring. Eric instantly piles on the smarm, but Linda doesn't buy it for a minute. He grovels for a minute, saying that all his lecherousness was just him trying to put on compelling television, and besides, he's much more interested in a mature woman. Linda stops him there, and lets him know that he has been unprofessional, abusive, harassing and egomaniacal. Linda says that there are some that don't feel that he is fit to be general manager, but they have reached a compromise. Tomorrow morning, a new General Manager will share in the responsibilities of running Raw, and to help keep Eric in line. Linda introduces him:

GLASS SHATTERS! The New Co General Manager is Stone Cold Steve Austin! Stone Cold really wants this partnership to work, and offers his hand. Eric doesn't take his hand. Stone Cold doesn't like that Eric doesn't trust him. Eric backpedals, and with some help from the crowd, finally accepts Stone Cold's offer, and shakes his hand. As Eric goes to walk off, Stone Cold reminds him that the key word here is TOMORROW. KICK! WHAM! STUNNER! 4-corner ring pose, and we are out.

Well, it looks like WWE is looking to knock the rust off the old storytelling machine and get started up with some good storylines for Raw after a month layoff after Wrestlemania. Where they were simply treading water, going for the path of least resistance with storylines last month, this month they look like already have 2 Judgement day PPV matchups in the infant stages of being set up (Christian/Goldberg and Trish/Jazz) and Numerous other matchups that could coalesce. Goldberg especially redeemed himself tonight by A) acknowledging the boos he got at Backlash and supporting the fans right to do so, and B) decimating 3 Minute Warning to truly establish his presence. Look for a Booker/Goldberg vs. 3MW match next week. Stone Cold is back, we all knew it would happen, and he's the same as he always was, but that's ok, because that's the way the fans like him. I'm skeptical on yet another rehash of the "wacky co-owners that don't get along" angle, and give it a shelf life of about 3 weeks before it falls into the cycle of one-upmanship between Stone Cold and Eric that it always seems to. All in all, very respectable showing for Raw this week, looking forward to what happens next.



SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28




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