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Ruthless Repitition
June 28, 2002

by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com



TV-PG-DLV - Attitude - Entertainment - WW!

Opening Credits are Beautiful, People

SYRUPYRO! Coming to you from the Allstate Arena in Chicago, IL and SAP transmitido en espanol 27.6.2 (taped 25.6) on the United Paramount Network and the Score, THIS is WWE SMACKDOWN! Fear not, Vince is here, but first...

TONIGHT: Hollywood Hulk Hogan vs. Chris Jericho!

As I said, already in the ring is BILLIONAIRE VINCE - well at least he saved us an entrance! "Allow me to introduce you to my friend. Allow me to introduce you to the man who, at the King of the Ring, made Hulk Hogan submit to the anklelock - allow me to introduce you to the only OLYMPIC Gold Medalist in World Wrestling Entertainment history - he is... KURT ANGLE!" He's still got the wig and headgear, too - into the ring and there's a big hug from McMahon - who then raises his arm high. Angle can barely contain his glee as he receives the mic - Vince then disappears for the rest of the show (we hope). "Ladies and gentlemen, I might as well be the poster boy for ruthless aggression - oh, it's true, it's true. At King of the Ring, I made the Immortal Hulk Hogan tap out! Last week on SmackDown!, I beat The Undertaker 1, 2, 3, right in the middle of this ring! And yet, no matter how much I accomplish, I still have to deal with the fact that YOU people are unappreciative of my greatness! ["Ho Gan!"] People...quite frankly, I'm not the one that sucks - YOU do! All you do is mock me - make fun of me - try to break my concentration - well it's not gonna work anymore. Oh, I'm sure you people find it real funny that I'm bald, right? Well try this on for size!" And he removes the wig! "You got something to say now? You find it funny now? Was it funny when I made Hulk Hogan submit? Was it funny when I proved my superiority over The Undertaker and whooped his (ass)? Oh, I find it all funny - hysterical - a barrel of freakin' monkeys! Well, none of you - NONE of you - not even all of you can ruin *my* mood. I'm on a roll! As a matter of fact, tonight...I'm in the mood to show someone here, right here tonight, what ruthless aggression is all about. In fact, I am issuing a challenge to anyone in that locker room that I've never wrestled before to come down here and face Kurt Angle! C'mon guys, there's gotta be somebody back there that wants to *seize the moment.* Now listen up - there are a lotta young guys back there, future superstars that wanna climb that ladder to success - well, now's your chance to become a sensation just like me. Come on, somebody back there gotta wanna wanna WANNA face Kurt Angle..." Nobody shows. "Listen...don't be scared. I will take it easy on you. But there's gotta be somebody back there that fifty years from now..." The SmackDown! theme plays and out walks...some guy, who Michael Cole identifies as JOHN CENA (the former Prototype and star of "Manhunt"). Angle is amused. "WHO in the hell are you?" "I'm John Cena." "John Cena, huh? Well you tell me - what is the one quality that YOU possess...that makes you think that you can walk out here and come into the ring and face the very best in the business?" "RUTHLESS AGGRESSION!" He pops him one, BRIAN HEBNER hits the ring and it's on...

KURT ANGLE v. JOHN CENA - Takedown by Cena, right, right, right, Angle shakes him off but Cena clotheslines him over the top rope to the outside! Cena follows - right, right, back in the ring, ducks a swing, right, right, into the ropes, big back body drop. Clothesline! Clothesline! Into the corner, BIG splash. Angle down - hooks the leg - 1, 2, NO! Replay of the clothesline. Angle goes for the ankle but Cena rolls and kicks him away - clotheline, Angle goes for the ankle again - Cena rolls and shakes him off! But Angle grabs a waistlock and puts him down with a German suplex. Tazz says Cena has Angle well scouted. But Angle is in control now - there's another German suplex. Stomp. Boot to the head. Forearm to the back. Waistlock - but this time Cena counters with a rollup - 1, 2, no! Angle clotheslines him down. Head to the buckle by Angle, right, right, right, right. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Angle slaps him in the face. Suplex - 1, 2, Cena kicks out! Angle grabs the front facelock. Cena starts kicking the mat but the crowd doesn't pick up their support right away - but now they DO start clapping for him - Cena to his feet - backdrop breaks the hold! Both men down and Hebner starts the count. At 3, Angle rolls to his feet - and up at 4. Cena with "Iblockyourpounchyoudon'tblockmine," again, right, into the ropes is reversed but Cena hits the flying jalapeno! Into the ropes - spinebuster - 1, 2, no! Angle now takes the shortcut, raking the face - desperation? Olympic Slam attempt is staved off - Cena ducks, gutshot, DDT! 1, 2, JUST out! Cena tries again - 1, 2, no! One more attempt - Angle AGAIN out at 2! Angle shot out of the corner, reversal, Cena slips out and Angle shoulders the post! Cena hooks the leg - 1, 2, NO! Cena with a small package - 1, 2, NO! Angle manages a knee to the gut. Into the ropes, reversal, Cena with a powerslam - 1, 2, NOOOO! Cena tries again - 1, 2, Angle gets the shoulde rup again! Cena can taste it - but Angle takes him down, grabs a double underhook and floats him over - 1, 2, 3! Just like that, Angle squeaks it out. (5:38) Is it right for Cole to be calling somebody *that* big a "kid?" Cena ponders the missed opportunity...but then offers the Hand of Friendship. Angle shows some amusement and blows him off. Halfway up the ramp, Cena makes the "hey, I was THAT close" hand motion. Angle can't believe the precociousness - stops at the top of the ramp and turns back to see Cena with a big smile - Angle's going back for more! We might get another fall - no, Angle blows him off. HAAA that's great stuff. Man, how come Cena never smiled on "Manhunt?" "Ruthless aggression" count for this match - at least 2

Stacker 2 Tough Enough ad - hey, how come there's no Chavo in this ad? (Hint: only "former WCW" trainer)

WWE live events! Tomorrow, DC! Saturday, MSG! Sunday, Moheegan Sun! And Monday is RAW in Manchester!

Backstage, Faarooq, Rikishi and Billy Kidman shake Cena's hands and congratulate him. Then they all take off as we see The Undertaker. He looks him up and down. "What's your name, kid?" "John Cena." "John Cena." Taker removes his glasses - and offers his hand! Handshake. "Nice job." OOOOOOH INSIDER but still, a nice touch - did Taker do it out of respect - or just to tweak Angle?

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: BILLY & CHUCK (champions - 534 pounds - with Rico - and SmackDown! is brought to you by 7-Eleven, Greyhound, and Blockbuster!) v. HARDCORE HOLLY & THE BIG VALBOWSKI (challengers - 478 pounds - and Vengeance onsale announcement for Saturday in Detroit!)
Cole was really excited to hear that Holly and Valbowski were going to team up - hey, that makes one of us! Billy and Holly - right by Billy, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, shoulderblock by Holly - up and over, leapfrog by Holly, gutshot by Holly, into the ropes, Billy ducks, leapfrog, Holly with the Best Dropkick in the Business - and a clothesline. Billy tags out and Chuck gets shoved into a right from Valbowski - HE gets a tag. Drop toehold by Valbowski - right, right, chop, right, chop, into the opposite corner is reversed...but he gets the boot up. Valbowski runs into a forearm - Chuck runs into a boot - Valbowski runs into a clothesline. They should probably stop running into moves. Chuck right, right, right, into the ropes is reversed, back elbow by Valbowski, scoop...and a slam. Off the ropes with a kneedrop and Valbowski gets 2. Tag to Holly, into the ropes, Valbowski drops down and Chuck is over - and into a bodyslam by Holly, elbowdrop by Valbowski, elbowdrop by Holly. Nice doubleteaming but Korderas wants to put a stop to it - and while his back is turned, Chuck reverses a whip into an Also Pretty Damn Good dropkick by Billy! Chuck with four shoulders in the gut and a right hand. Clothesline puts him down. Chuck draws Korderas' attention to Valbowski - then tosses Holly through the ropes for Billy to ram him into the apron. Front face by Chuck - tag to Billy - open right hand. Forearm in the back - stomp - blatant chokery. Tag to Chuck. Billy holds him for the free shot from Chuck. Holly fires back, though - gutshot - chop, chop, into the corner sternum first - and a death suplex as Chuck backs out. Both men are down and Valbowski is chomping. Tag to Billy - tag to Valbowski! Clothesline by Valbowski! Shoulderblock! Into the ropes, reversal, shoulderblock by Valbowski off the ropes! Chuck in and Valbowski gives him a left-handed lariat. Neckbreaker! Billy funs and Valbowski dumps him on the floor. Forearms for Chuck - spinebuster off the ropes - gutshot for Billy - wants the fishermanplex but drops him when Rico's up on the ropes - Rico in - Valbowski ducks, right hand and Rico staggers into an Alabama Slam from Holly! But Valbowski was distracted just long enough - Jungle Kick from Chuck! Pound'Asser from Billy! Billy's legal - cover - 1, 2, 3! Champs retain. (4:22) "Ruthless aggression" count: 1

Backstage, Torrie rubs herself! Later, I'LL rub MYSELF!

"WrestleMania X8" for the GameCube ad ensures we'll at least see Stone Cold Steve Austin HERE tonight

UPN - "Turn it up, y'all"

WOW! There's the wwe.com home page!

Say, have you bought Neurotica's CD yet? This might be the last time you hear "Ride of Your Life!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, in a preview of Saturday night's 'WWE Divas Undressed,' please welcome the gorgeous TORRIE WILSON!"

EARLIER TODAY! Nidia smelled Jamie Noble while Tajiri looked on. "Ya like that, don'cha boy? Huh yeah? I see ya over there lookin' at her. I see ya lookin' at her, boy! Yeah, she looks good, don't she? Yeah, you wanna taste? You want a taste boy? No no, go ahead, go ahead baby - give him a taste, baby, show'm what it's like!" Tajiri begs off. "No?" So Nidia smooches him one - leaving her gum in his mouth. Tajiri is delighted. "Look here boy, we win tonight, there'll be a lot more'a that comin' yer way!"

Your hosts are MICHAEL KING COLE & TAZZZZZZZZZZ. They announce that Triple H underwent elbow surgery earlier this week.

Let Us Take You Back to Last Month when The Undertaker took out Triple H's elbow with the STEEL chair - spotlight on the slowmo of the actual contact. He may be out for two to three weeks...but Tazz has a hunch we might see him NEXT week

Hollywood Hulk Hogan is arriving late... and WALKING!

And now, the WWE Burn of the Night, brought to you by Stacker 2! From last week, Lance Storm says unkind things about America! OOOH BURN

LANCE STORM (Calgary, Alberta - 230 pounds -with old school promo!) v. MARK HENRY (Silsbee, Texas - 353 pounds - with Strongmen Barbell Association footage)
referee: MIKE SPARKS
Storm's got new "serious" music - and a pre-taped old school promo! "On behalf of the citizens of the world, and on behalf of the citizens of my homeland, the great country of Canada - I vow to all of you that I will accomplish what you want me to do this evening... I, Lance Storm, will BEAT an American." Last Saturday in Saddle Brook, NJ, Henry lifted the Inch "unliftable" barbell - 172 pounds with a 2.5" diameter handle. Hey, if it impresses *Bill Kazmaier*, it has to impress me! Lockup, Henry tosses Storm into the corner, but he escapes when Henry moves in. Storm ducks, grabs a side headlock - Henry lifts Storm, then shoves him into the ropes - Storm slides under - right hand is caught and Henry squeezes the knuckles until Storm gets very unhappy. Pressed with ease - Storm manages to slide down the back, but Henry grabs him with a double choke to counter the sunset flip attempt. Placed on the top turnbuckle - Storm slaps, so Henry chops him to the floor! Henry outside - then shoots Storm from the floor OVER the top rope, back into the ring! Henry back in and that smile means he smells Canadian bacon. Storm backs to the corner, then puts a thumb in the eye. Chop, chop, chop, slap, chop, chop, no effect - Henry shoves him away - Henry runs into him and Storm goes down. Replay of the floor beal. Storm shot into the corner - and there's the bearhug as he comes out. Storm resorts to *biting Henry's nose* to break the hold - dirty pool. Back elbow by Storm - right hand - whip ain't happening - Henry pulls Storm into a shoulder on the post. Press - hold - and slam. Henry wants the Vaderbomb - but Storm rolls under and out! Storm with a nice springboard dropkick. Superkick! 1, 2, 3! (2.103 Storms) Storm seems fired up. CHRISTIAN is out to congratulate Storm afterward.

The Undertaker is WALKING! (to his bike)

WWE Home Video presents "Triple H: The Game" - the video & DVD

"WrestleMania X8" ad #2

And now, the WWE Slam of the Week! It's brought to you by "Eight Legged Freaks!" From RAW, Jeff Hardy challenges Taker to a ladder match for the Undisputed championship - wait, what is this RAW stuff doing on SmackDown! HUH

THE AWESOME UNDERTAKER rides out to the ring on his beautiful Bourget Python bike. Commentators hype RAW - man, listen to these guys talk about the show they're not on now. You don't think he's gonna talk about it too? "Now I'm out here because I think I need to get a few things straight...you see, this right here is the WWE Undisputed title. And if you look real close, that right there...is my name. So that must make me the WWE Undisputed Champion. And what that means is that no other man can lay claim to that title. Now at King of the Ring, I was due to defend my title against Triple H. One on one - mano y mano. Dead Man Inc. versus The Game. Well as a result of that match, Triple H is laying in a hospital bed right now after having elbow surgery to repair the damage that I did to him. You ain't gotta like it, but you know it's true. Now I'm gonna get back to my point. It was Triple H versus The Undertaker, so where in the hell does The Rock think he can get involved in my match? ["Rock E!"] Look, I'm not gonna tell you what happened, but I did bring some footage, so I think you can take a look and see what happened for yourself." Let Us Take You Back to King of the Ring. "Not only did he get involved, but he almost cost me the title. Now then, now I got some good news and I got some bad news. The good news is: on July 11th, you need to set your VCRs, because on July 11th right here on SmackDown! will be the return of The Rock. But now for the bad news. On July 11th, right here on SmackDown!, I am gonna beat the Rock down and make him pay for EVER stickin' his nose in my business. Now I'm sure right now the Rock's out there in Hollywood, probably at Gold's Gym in Venice, workin' out, workin' his eyebrow, gettin' ready for that big return. Rock, I hope you can take time to watch RAW on Monday night, because I want you to see what I do to Jeff Hardy, and what I do to him with a ladder. Because that's just a sample of the brutality that I will lay upon you when you return July 11th to SmackDown!" With music and entrance, KURT ANGLE interrupts. (Oh, and bald head.) "You talk about a blowhard! 'I am this, I am that, I did this, I did that.' All you do is talk talk talk talk talk! Well, Undertaker, I'm a man of action, oh, it's true." "No, Kurt - you're a punk." Ha! "Okay - you're not gonna break my concentration, oh no. I'm out here for one reason. You have a match Monday night on RAW, a ladder match for the title against Jeff Hardy. Why you would accept that, I have no idea - but if you can get by Jeff Hardy, I'm askin' you - will you accept my challenge to a match, with the title on the line - next week on SmackDown!?" "You and me...for the title...on SmackDown! Well Kurt, I got a motto, and it goes something like this: why put off kickin' somebody's ass next week, when I can do it right now?" "Well, Taker, I just had a tuneup match and I'm not really ready, you know, for a match tonight - I just had a match before." "Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute...a tuneup match." "Yeah." "That's what you call that?" "Yeah." "Hell boy, you almost got beat by a damn rookie!" "Hold on a second, don't change the subject! I'm talkin' about a match against you next week on SmackDown! for the title. Will you accept my challenge or not?" "Lemme make this real clear. Anytime...anywhere...anyhow. It's own, man." "Okay, well...now that we have that out of the way, let's put all hostilities aside, okay? I just wanna know if you'll give me the opportunity to touch the title. I just wanna know what I'm fighting you for, that's all. May I...MAY I, and I'm asking you, Taker - may I hold the WWE title?" "You never seen it before. Never had it in your hand? Well I tell you what, I normally wouldn't do this, Kurt - but, ah (hands it over)...feel free...because...that right there...is as close as you'll ever come to havin' that title." Angle tosses the title at Taker's face - Taker drops the mic and turns to duck - and Angle shoots in and grabs his ankle - but then lets go just as fast, squirting out of the ring. Point made, message sent - play his music! How come nobody noticed that next week is Independence Day?

Commentators shill "Under One Roof"

Take a look at the parking lot of the Allstate Arena!

TORRIE SAMUDA is out again for another "Divas Undressed" preview - according to Chimel, she is now "luscious." The three categories in the NYC Thongathon competition are bra and panties, teddy, and "fantasy free-for-all."

TEST (Toronto, Ontario - 282 pounds) v. RIKISHI (Isle of Samoa - 350 pounds - with Next Week in Boston hype)
referee: MIKE CHIODA
Test tries to sneak in first strike but 'kishi ducks the swing - right, right, right, Test reverses, right, right, right, right, whip is reversed, BELLY-to-belly by Rikishi - "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," again, right, whip is reversed and Test follows with a clothesline. Right, right, back elbow, back elbow, back elbow, back elbow, lunging at Chioda for taking issue with his persistent offense in the corner. Back to Rikshi - but raring back for *another* closed fist, Chioda hooks his arm and stops him! Test shoves him away - Chioda points to his patch!! Rikishi with a right hand (hey wait a minute), right (uh) - whip into the ropes, Test ducks the Rikishikick and HE BODYSLAMMED RIKISHI!!! Test shouts at him to get up - Wotsitolla Boot is DUCKED - RIKISHIKICK lands - 1, 2, NO! 'kishi drags him to the corner - he wants the Drop, but Test puts up two knees and *that'll* hurt. Test with a clothesline and 'kishi does the triple spin. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, no. Test argues the count, threatens to pop him one and then laughs when Chioda hits the deck. Hahaha, made him flinch. Test going for the Test Drive, but 'kishi shoves him away - and into Chioda, unfortunately. Wotsitolla Boot!! Leg is hooked, but Chioda is calling for the bell. Rikishi is announced the winner, and oh oh, another Canadian just got screwed. (DQ 2:41) Test argues his case but Chioda says you can't shove me. Test says oh yeah and shoves him for real. He wants some more but Chioda slides under the bottom rope - then Rikishi comes in with a fat ass splash! Test dutifully flumps down. Stinky face!! CHRISTIAN in - RIKISHIKICK stops him. LANCE STORM in - no, he thinks better of it. 'kishi slides out, and Storm comes in to check on the other two men in the ring. 'kishi yuks it up on the outside and Chioda raises his arm one more time for effect. Ruthless aggression" count: 2

Hulk Hogan is WALKING! straight into Mr. McMahon's office. "You wanted to see me? I'm gettin' ready for my match with Jericho right now." "Yeah. Calm down, will ya? Look, I asked you to come here because I got somethin' to tell ya. On behalf of Hulkamaniacs all over the world, I wanna let you know something. I wanna let you know how personally upset I was over your loss to Kurt Angle at King of the Ring. I mean, I've seen you in a lot of matches...but I've never ever seen you...submit. I mean, I can only imagine the pain you must have been. I mean, I can only imagine how it had to hurt. As a matter of fact, I looked in your eyes and I thought that painful anklelock was hurting so badly that....I thought you were gonna cry! Which leads me to tonight. I mean...as the man who personally built Hulkamania, I would hate - I would hate to see you tap out once again...but this time, to Chris Jericho and the Walls of Jericho." Hogan makes him flinch. "One day...(pokes him in the shoulder a few times) ...one day, Vince." And he walks off, leaving Vince flabbergasted, checking his own shoulder...and then sneering.

"Xbox Ultimate Experience Sweepstakes" ad

And now, the WWE Rewind, brought to you by "WrestleMania X8" for the Nintendo GameCube! From King of the Ring, Jamie Noble wins the cruiserweight title, with just a bit of help from Nidia

DURING THE BREAK! Christian: "They screwed another Canadian! I can't believe it!" "You know what? I can. All the officials in World Wrestling Entertainment - they're prejudiced!" Test: "Whoa, whoa, it's not just the officials - it's all - it's all these friggin' Americans! America likes to stick her ass in the face of the rest of the world, just like Rikishi - just like Rikishi did to me! You know what...just like the rest of the world, I don't like the smell that's on my face, guys. But Lance, you were right aboat something. America....America SUCKS!" Christian: "Damn right it does!"

JAMIE NOBLE (cruiserweight champion - Hanover, West Virginia - 210 pounds - with Nidia) and TAJIRI (Japan - 206 pounds) v. BILLY KIDMAN (Allentown, Pennsylvania - 215 pounds) and THE HURRICANE (Parts Unknown - 215 pounds)
referee: Sparks
I *think* that's a new cruiserweight title (and not just a retooled light heavyweight title) Noble is wearing. Tajiri and Hurricane to start - lockup, fireman's carry takerover by Hurricane - runs for Noble but he's on the floor - turns back to take a kick from Tajiri. Scoop...and a slam. NOW Noble wants in. Noble runs right into the goozle - so he slaps it away and goes outside - the chase is on - Noble catches sight of Kidman and stops, allowing Hurricane to catch up and clothesline him. Back in the ring, super(hero)kick is caught, spun around and Hurricane clotheslines him. Running kick - 1, 2, no. Noble reverses the arm wringer and clotheslines him down. Head to the buckle, tag to Tajiri, into the ropes, Hurricane ducks - double choke! - but before he can chokeslam them, they double gutshot him. Double death suplex attempt gets a backflip from Hurricane - double bulldog by Hurricane! Tag to Kidman - Tajiri sent into the ropes, double hiptoss - Kidman hiptosses Kidman onto Tajiri and covers for 2. Forearm by Kidman, into the corner, Tajiri tries to dump him onto the turnbuckle but he lands on the second rope - leaps off and hits a Mexican armdrag. Chop, into the ropes, Tajiri recovers with a handspring elbow. Tag to Noble - Kidman ducks - atomic drop...no, wait, he shoves him forward into a sitout facebuster instead - yikes - 1, 2, no. Right hand, into the ropes, reversed, Nidia ankles him while Noble distracts Sparks - Tajiri with a kick in the head behind his back! Hurricane in, and all he does is further occupy Sparks. Doubelteam kicks in the corner - Tajiri with a kick in the ribs - head to the buckle - chop by Tajiri - Kidman reverses - slap, right, into the opposite corner - Tajiri up - Tarantula! Tajiri breaks it at 4 - spins into a kneedrop. Into the corner is reversed, Tajiri up and over, gutshot, tornado DDT countered into a rydeenbomb! Both men down, both men looking to tag - Hurricane in - right, right, tosses him through the ropes and brings in Noble the hard way - right, clothelsine, right, right, right, right, Tajiri back in, HE gets a right - head to the turnbuckle - gutshot for Noble, into the corner, Noble up and...onto the shoulder - Hurricane shoves him over the top to the floor! Tajiri connects with a superkick - 1, 2, NO! Scooped up but Hurricane goes down the back - Tajiri back elbow, back elbow, blind tag by Kidman - Hurricane ducks the kick, choke - chokeslam! Hurricane with a pescado on Noble on the floor as Kidman goes up top - shooting star press! 1, 2, 3! (4:30) Surprisingly, during the cruiserweight match, the "ruthless aggression" quote hits: 0

Torrie is WALKING! But she's stops, catching sight of Stacy, also clad in gown and presumably not much else. "Umm, what are you doing?" "What does it LOOK like I'm doing?" "It looks like you're getting ready to go out there in your lingerie and steal my spotlight." "Well, consider your spotlight STOLEN!" "I think the only fair thing is to let the people decide who looks better in their naughty best. Deal?" "Deal!"

Heeey more WWF live events - Saturday, Providence - Sunday, Augusta - Monday, Portland and Tuesday, Boston!

This time, TORRIE SAMUDA is "appetizing" while modeling her "fantasy free-for-all outfit - a pink gingham pattern off the shoulder top and matching ruffle bottom." That has to be the greatest index card Tony Chimel's ever had to read. But before she can model her blow pop, out comes STACY KEIBLER in - you know, I liked that outfit a lot better when it was on Spice. But HER posedown is interrupted by DAWN MARIE (she has music?). "Now ladies, don't be jealous of me because I'm so much more *desirable* and *sexier* than the both of you put together! And I'm gonna prove it to all of you...and all of you, THIS Saturday night on 'Divas Undressed!'" She shoves Torrie into Stacy and a fracas interrupts between them. Stacy almost shoves Torrie off the stage to the floor before Brian Hebner comes out to grab her. Play her music!

MARC LLLLLLLLLLLOYD stands backstage with Chris Jericho. "Before I address the almighty Hulk Hogan, I wanna see the now legendary footage of the night that I changed Edge's life forever." Let Us Take You Back 3 Weeks. "It looks like I have a bit of a decision tonight, huh? A choice? Maybe I'll just put Hogan into the Walls of Jericho and make him submit. Or maybe I'll hit him with my world famous Lionsault and pin him, 1, 2, 3. Or *maybe*, just maybe I'll finish off Hulk Hogan the exact same way I finished off Edge." Jericho spits out his gum and walks away...

"WrestleMania X8" ad #3

"He's coming" spot - well, that's strange, they showed it during Heat and (I forgot to mention it during) RAW and now...but, the brand extension - THE BRAND EXTENSION!

REVEREND D-VON & BATISTA (522 pounds) v. FAAROOQ & RANDY ORTON (518 pounds)
referee: Korderas
Commentators catch a glimpse of Batista in trunks. "Oh my God! Look at Batista!" "We've only seen him out here in a suit and tie - this guy's a monster!" Faarooq will be damned. Orton offers to start - D-Von gutshot, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, hiptoss by Orton, armdrag, sidewalk slam, hooks the leg, 1, 2, no. Right hand, into the opposite corner is reversed, and D-Von lands a dropkick. "Who's the man?" Right hand by D-von, into the ropes, jumpin' back elbow. In the corner, right, right, right, right, right, shin across the neck. Sat up on top. D-Von to the second floor - Orton punches out, shoves him away - bulldog! Tag to Faarooq - Faarooq with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," into the ropes, big back body drop, into the ropes, powerslam, 1, 2, no! Gutwrench, up across the back - D-Von back to his feet, gutshot, DDT! Why doesn't he tag out? Scoop...and a slam. D-Von out and climbing up - top floor - swandive headbutt MISSES! Tag to Orton - top rope - textbook frog splash! 1, 2, NO! Into the ropes, fantastic dropkick! 1, 2, NO! Into the ropes, Batista makes a blind tag, D-Von ducks, eats the back elbow - Batista in and Orton gives him a hot shot - Orton clotheslines him, but he bounces off the ropes with a speed of light clothesline that folds Orton in half! Free shot for Faarooq. Orton shoved into the turnbuckles. Into the ropes, big spinebuster, 1, 2, 3. Well that turned pretty quick. (3:20) They replay the finish. "Ruthless Aggression" count: 3

Tazz models the WWE Shop Zone catalog. Want one? Write to WWE Shopzone Catalog, 50 Commerce Drive, Trumbull, CT 06611 and get put on their mailing list *for the rest of your life!*

JULY 11TH: The Rock: Official Return!

UP NEXT: Hogan vs. Jericho!

RAW Magazine ad

Stacker 2 ad #2

"Get the F out" spot

HOLLYWOOD HULK HOGAN (Hollywood, California - 285 pounds - with Subway presents Vengeance!) v. CHRIS JERICHO (Winnipeg, Manitoba - 227 pounds)
referee: Chioda
Just in case you were worried that they'd have to spend the last fifteen minutes dragging out the "wrestling" portion of this match, they allow Hogan 2:35 for his entrance, while Jericho gets 1:11 for *his* entrance. Granted, it's probably lots of fun to watch Hogan cup his ear if you're in the live crowd, but at this point it doesn't exactly make for compelling television, if you catch my drift. Jericho probably could have gotten some MORE time for his entrance, but he decides to jump Hogan before the bell, and so we go. Forearm in the back, forearm in the back, right, right, right, right, off comes the 'do rag, chop, chop, climbs the scoend rope, right, right, right, chop, into the opposite corner, but Hogan comes out with a clothesline of his own. Clothesline! Right, right, right, into the ropes, big back body drop! Scoop...and a slam. Off the ropes - Hogan tries to drop the elbow but misses. Commentators suggest Hogan is moving gingerly - more than normal, I guess the implication was, har har - the match with Angle is assigned blame. Jericho with a kick, right hand, right, chop, into the ropes, reversed, Hogan shoves Jericho over the top - but he skins the cat back in! Then he runs into a right hand. Oops. Kick by hogan, right, chop, right, chop, right, threatens Chioda for daring to enforce the rules - climbs to the second rope for a Ten Punch Count Along - gets eight before Chioda can force him off - Hogan winds up against Chioda again, and *this* time when he turns his back, Jericho sneaks in an uppernut. Commentators completely fail to mention Chioda's earlier encounter with Test and why it may have affected him in this match...but *why the hell would THEY want to tie anything together for the sake of a storyline?* Ahhh get me some damn commentators in here already okay I'm better now. Jericho kicks - right hand - helps him up so he can deliver the death suplex. "C'mon Baby" gets 2. Hogan grabs Jericho's ankle but Jericho won't let up - right hand, choke on the second rope. Jericho does a Muta-like windup on his way to the Boss Man straddle. Stands on the neck for 4. "Jericho sux!" chant. Jericho cups his ear!! Right hand - is blocked! Right by Hogan! Right hand! Off the ropes - but Jericho hits a gutshot...and DDT! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, NO! Hogan reaches down - but not yet. Right by Jericho to the back of the head, right hand - and into the abdominal stretch! Jericho moves just close enough to grab the top rope - Chioda misses it (ha ha, watch him look right at Jericho until he notices he's about to grab the rope, then lean down). Chioda finall "catches" him and makes him let go - Hogan, fired up, is out with the hiptoss! Right by Jericho, right by Hogan, right, right, right, into the opposite corner, reversed by Jericho, Hogan slips out and Jericho shoulders the post! Hogan is feeling it - right, right, right, into the ropes, Jericho DUCKS the big boot - double leg takedown...trying to turn it for the Walls - Hogan fights it - Hogan with a body scissors and Jericho flips to the mat!! Hogan with the gutshot - into the ropes, head down, but Jericho kicks. Jericho with the bulldog! LIONSAULT!! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, NO!!! Hogan has the look! You have to see the look on Jericho's face here - this is priceless shit, folks. Jericho knows exactly what's coming and hits the perfect facial expressions. He tries the right hand anyway - but it has no effect. Right hand - Hogan starts to jackhammer! Jericho is beside himself - but he has no other choice...he is compelled to throw the right hand again. HOGAN POINTS "YOU!!" Deep down, Jericho knows it won't work, but he can't help himself - right hand...is blocked - Hogan with the right, right, right, into the ropes - big boot! Jericho wisely rolls out of the ring, shoves away Chimel and grabs his chair, bringing it back into the ring with him. Hogan kicks the chair but Jericho holds on and *crowns* him! Chioda calls for the bell. (DQ 6:31) Jericho hits the "King of the World" pose, then goes outside for a little furniture rearranging. STEEL steps in place - Jericho back in, tossing Hogan out of the ring. Jericho to the outside, chair in hand - WHACK! Hogan collapses into position on the steps. "You are finished!" Jericho puts a boot on Hogan's head and raises the chair...but just before he swings, the Y2J countdown starts up again - the lights dim - the pyro hits - and...is that Jericho's twin striking the pose? He turns round - it is EDGE. Teeth in full light, Edge doing his best Jericho imitation - gum spit - to the ring - Jericho, who'd hit the ring, tries to escape but Hogan is outside with the chair! Jericho turns back - Edge with the clothesline! Right, right, right, right, right, down to the mat, right, right, right, right, right - clotheslining Jericho over the ropes to the floor! Edge removes his shirt and gives us "fired up." Now Hogan puts Jericho back into the ring - Edge puts him in the corner, shoulderblock in the gut, viscera off the ropes...Jericho tries to go outside again, but Hogan waves his finger and grabs him - back in the ring - Hogan and Edge share a "that's that" sign - and Edge hits the SPEAR!! "Get the hell up, Chicago! Get up!" Edge on the turnbuckle and the crowd digs it. Hogan in the ring to raise Edge's hand - hey, why are they playing Hogan's music instead of Edge's? Bah! Jericho up the ramp and out - they do a cut here and next thing you know, Edge and Hogan are both doing the Hogan routine in the ring. Credits are up!

WW logo - and we're out!

Deep down, Jericho had to love that - you could see it in his face. He can complain about us not liking the van Dam match enough all he wants, but for MY money seeing that Hogan match and seeing how much Jericho was enjoying what he was doing made this match more FUN to watch despite the much probably much lower snowflake rating and perceived workrate. Whoops, I was gonna ignore all the Jericho hullabaloo - oh well. See you next week!


CRZ is just sitting in until I come up with a master plan for keeping SD recapped on a regular basis.

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