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Eddie!  Eddie!  Eddie!
August 29, 2003

by Big Danny T.
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


5 Minutes out: 4 days after Summerslam, who is the champ? Find out next!

No Leader, we go right into the opening, Pyro, and we are Live (taped) from El Paso Texas, and Eddie Guerrero is arriving outside to a MONSTER POP. Eddie has an attendant take care of his car as he makes his way inside. He glad hands a few fans and comes in through the crowd. Holy Shit, that guy he just passed looks like my old Marine buddy, Bear. He was from El Paso...

Eddie Hugs Tazz and puts a sombrero on Cole as he soaks in his moment in the spotlight. Eddie in the ring. Tremendous "EDDIE!" chant. "Orale Mi Rasa!" Crowd goes nuts. Eddie is looking genuinely moved by the crowd's response. Eddie takes us down memory lane: A long, long time ago, His great, great, great, grandmother crossed over from Juarez. Apparently it didn’t' take her long to start getting harassed by Johnny Law. Apparently, The cop didn't think she belonged there, and she responded with a string of Spanish epithets, when the cop asked what she said, she lies and says "Of course I belong here in the land of the free and the home of the brave." Eddie goes on to recount how she beat up another grandmother to get the answers to the naturalization test. Afterwards, Eddie baits us by saying she stole a low rider to get back to town, but reneges and says it was actually a donkey.

Eddie is about to go on when John Cena interrupts him. Massive booing greets John. John raps about how Eddies first 'boyfriend' is in the first row, and that Cena will call border patrol, because Eddie has the US title, and he's not even a citizen. Cena raps out a challenge, and when he raises the mic for the final word, the crowd doesn't cooperate, instead booing him senseless. Eddie tells Cena that he can say what he wants about Eddie, but don't talk about his Familia and Homies like that! Eddie goes for him, but Cena tells him he won't be dropping fists until gold is on the line. Eddie is hot and riled up, so he agrees. Cena just has to get the last word in, and makes a disparaging comment about Eddie's sister. This drives Eddie over the edge and he levels him with a right and commences the beat down. He strips John's shirt off in mid beal, then dons it himself. John bails, and Eddie struts around a bit, but John tries to sneak in, only to get tossed. Eddie retorts with a rap of his own, and we go to commercial.

You know that anti marijuana commercial where it's got the older brother that is in his 30's and still living in his parents basement? That's not because of marijuana, it's because the guy's a loser!

Back and we get Rey Mysterio defending the Cruiserweight title against Nunzio (w/ FBI). Oop, Referee Jimmy Korderas doesn't like the odds there, so he sends Chuck and Johnny to the back.

Nunzio starts with a quick takedown, which Rey reverses into a hammerlock. Nunzio takes back over with a clothesline. Cover, gets two. Nunzio try’s a powerbomb, but Rey reverses into a leg scissors that sends Nunzio out. Rey follows with a springboard corkscrew senton. Rey bringing Nunzio back in and flies all over him until he gets set up for a 619. Nunzio ducks out, tho, and meets Rey outside with a clothesline. Rey rolled back in, surfboard slapped on. Rey powers up and is able to escape and get a bulldog. Both men up and fighting it out, Rey wins with a front russian leg sweep into the ropes. 619 hits, but west coast pop is countered into a  powerbomb. Nunzio tries to cover, but Rey JUST gets out. Nunzio sets Rey up on the top rope and is going for a belly to back suplex off the top, but Rey fights him off, sending Nunzio crashing to the mat. Rey gets up and springboards into a legdrop from the top rope! Cover, 1-2-3! BIG pop for Rey as we go into...

Promo clip for The Rundown. Hehe, Rock and Stiffler vs. Christopher Walken. Looks like too much fun. I'll be seeing it.

The Lugs Boot of the Week is Eddie retaining the title at Summerslam.

Back from Commercials, and Chris Benoit is out (Good pop for him too) to take on A-Train (w/ Sable). A-Train and Sable share a tender moment outside the ring, and the match starts with A-Train manhandling Benoit. Benoit coming back with knife-edge chops, but A-train isn't selling anything tonight and he proceeds to manhandle Benoit all over the ring. Benoit tries to come back again, but just gets squashed in the corner and thrown out for his troubles. A-Train out and causing more abuse outside. Benoit rolled back in. A-Train with the double underhook and dropping Benoit on his knee. Cover, but Benoit kicks out. A-Train fends off another Benoit flurry long enough to rip a turnbuckle off. Benoit gets him back with a chop block. A- Train trying to work back, but Benoit nails him with a German Suplex! Benoit up, Flying Headbutt! Cover, only gets two. A-train back up and tossing Benoit into the exposed turnbuckle. They fight it out in the corner for a bit until Benoit gets the Crossface locked in. A-Trains legs are blatantly under the ropes, tho, but the referee pays it no mind and counts the tap. Benoit makes a hasty exit as the Ref argues with A-Train about his decision. A-Train is furious, but nothing he can do now.

Backstage, Eddie is getting ready, but the attendant from the beginning comes up and informs him someone has just messed with his car. Eddie goes ballistic and takes off as we go to commercial.

I dunno; if I was in a mosh pit and I saw my dad right next to me, I'd probably be pretty stoked.

Moments ago, A-Train suffered a miscarriage of justice.

During the break, A-Train caught up with Chris and protested the decision. They threaten to get into a slap fight but Rhyno spears Chris through the door. A-Train and Rhyno gloat over Chris, A-Train proclaiming the Chris can't beat him. Umm, excuse me, didn't you just tap tot he cross face 5 minutes ago?

Outside, Eddie finds that his tires have been lifted. He interrogates the Smackdown B-Team (APA, Orlando Jones, Funaki) and nobody saw anything. The FBI comes in to have a quick guffaw at Eddies expense; Eddie takes offense and takes Chuck down. The APA split things up before anything too egregious can happen. We go to commercial.

The slam of the week is Kurt Angle putting Vince through a chair at Summerslam.

Brock is out, and he is not happy. He's able to bounce himself up and jump up on the ring apron to set off his pyro. He grabs a mic and tells the audience to shut up and sit down! Apparently, everywhere he goes, people keep reminding him of the fact that he tapped out and HE'S SICK OF IT! Brock lets us know that it was a fluke, a mirage, oh wait, no, it was a miracle! Because Brock is not a quitter, not like the residents of El Paso. Brock goes on a rant about how he should never have tapped out, because he's special DAMMIT! Brock demands a rematch, but is interrupted by Kurt on the SmackaTron. Kurt "Wahh's" Brock a couple times and tells him that he isn't acting the way a former champion should. He calls Brock a whiny little bitch, and says that that's the reason he doesn’t' whine anymore. Brock calls him out again, and Kurt accepts.

As Brock paces in the ring, tho, Undertaker, not Angle, makes his entrance (on a beautiful bike painted out to look like the American flag). Undertaker grabs a mic. Turns out Undertaker was sitting on his bike and couldn't help but overhear the exchange. Undertaker points out that Brock had his chance, and he tapped out. So now, even though Brock was at the front of the line, as of Summerslam, he's not at the back of the line. Undertaker goes on to point out that he hasn't had a title shot in quite a long time, and that Brock is now trespassing in his yard, and that he'll be happy to help him leave. They get face to face, but Big Show decides to make his entrance at this point. Big Show lets us know that all this talk about #1 contendership stops now. He takes the stance that since he's inflicted more pain than 'Taker, Brock, or Angle combined, that means that HE'S the #1 contender. Angle has finally figured out the way to the ring. When he gets in the ring, he says he doesn't care who he fights. He runs down each of the three guys in the ring and says that he'll make each of them tap out. Again he says he doesn't care who it is, but someone needs to make up their mind about whom Angle is going to face.

And this brings out Stephanie. She talks for a second and is interrupted by Brock, she then tells him not to be angry because he tapped out. She then goes on to say that the #1 contendership will be decided in a triple threat match TONIGHT! Crowd goes nuts as we go to commercials.

Back from commercials: Josh has caught up to John Cena, who proceeds to tell us that he had nothing to do with Eddie's car. He knows better than to touch another mans ride.

After a quick bit of Hype for WWE.com, John Cena is out to put the lie to his previous statement, as he is carrying one of the tires. He proclaims that Eddie isn't the only one that can lie cheat and steal, the difference it, John can get away with it. John has barely made it to the ring when Eddie pearl harbors him. John thrown into the ring and Eddie brawls him down, beating him from post to post. Eddie up on the turnbuckle for a 10-punch count along. Cena counters a waistlock with a quick suplex. Cena goes for a bet to use on Eddie, but the Ref grabs it from him. When Cena turns around, he eats a dropkick from Eddie. Cena comes back with a big clothesline and they brawl back and forth for a bit. Cena dumped outside. As Eddie goes after him, Cena attacks and the fight goes outside. Eddie makes Cena eat announce table and rolls him in. Eddie goes for the tire and puts it in the ring. As the ref tries rolling it out, Eddie grabs a chair and lays Cena out before the ref can turn back around. Eddie with a quick suplex, and then goes up for the frogsplash, but Cena gets the knees up. Eddie writhes in pain as Cena gets up and dumps him out. We go to commercial all of a sudden.

Back from commercials, and Cena has Eddie in a double arm lock. During the commercials Eddie got manhandled a bit. Eddie reverse headbutts his way out of the lock, but Cena has a kick to the gut for Eddie. Cena slams Eddie, but Eddie won't stay down. Cena with the delayed vertical. Eddie tries to kick out, but Cena hits it anyway. Cena up and taunting Eddie, then slapping on a blatant choke, and then locking in a bear hug. Ref goes to drop the arm. 1 time. 2 times. 3 ti... NO!  Eddie fights his way back up and slugs his way out. Eddie flooring Cena with a string of clotheslines, and then he unleashes the EL PASO VIOLENCE in the corner. Back suplex, cover, but Cena kicks out. Cena picked up, but he reverses into a back body drop. Eddie picked up for the FU, but Eddie reverses into a leg scissors. Cena dropkicked into the ref, and Eddie up to hit the frogsplash. Cover, but the Ref is just a bit to slow recovering from the bump, and only gets 2. Eddie grabbing Cena and hitting the hat trick Vertical suplex's, but Cena ends it with a blatant low blow, drawing the DQ. Cena goes and grabs his chain and busts Eddie open with it. Cena proceeds to choke Eddie out with the chain. Cena out and rolling the tire back into the ring. Cena picks Eddie up and proceeds to FU Eddie ON THE WHEEL! Cena stands over Eddie for a bit, soaks up the boos, and we go to commercials.

"Oh yeah, it might get a wee bit dangerous, there, Sugarbutt." ROTFLMMFAO! Once Upon a Time in Mexico: Added to must see list. Johnny Depp looks to be the Actor of the Summer.

The blast of the night is Stephanie and Sable Catfighting at Summerslam.

Back, and we go over Brocks HORRIFYING treatment of Zack last week. Man, that was brutal. I bet Brock got at least 3 hours of detention for that, maybe even some ISS.

And that's enough of that; it's time for determining the #1 contender. Brock is out first, and they've reloaded his pyro for him. Big Show is out next (W/ hype for Smackdown in Nawleans next week). Undertaker leaves his bike in the back, deciding to hoof it to the ring this time. Big Show and Brock confer for a second, but before the match can start, Kurt Angle is out to watch from the commentary table. Before Kurt can say anything, tho, we go to commercials...

Back from commercials, and everyone is GETTING ROWDY!  Big Show and Brock decide to double team Undertaker. 'Taker into the corner, taking some Brock shoulderblocks, then getting squashed by Big Show. Big Show stands on him for a bit, then Brock stomps ‘Takers ribs a bit. Big Show suplex's 'Taker, and Brock goes for the quick cover. Big Show interrupts and he and Brock get in each others faces. Taker is thrown out and the Heels decide to play. Brock dominates for a bit, Big Show comes back, Brock returns with a belly to belly and a cover that is interrupted by Undertaker. 'Taker brawling with Brock and Big Show alternately. Brock with ‘Taker up for the F-5, but Big Show is there to knock both of them down. Big Show works Brock over a bit, and then grabs 'Taker for a chokeslam, but Taker reverses into a fujiwara armbar. Show is about to tap, but Brock interrupts. Brock and Taker brawl for a bit until 'Taker clotheslines Brock out of the ring. Outside, Brock gets the upper hand and attempts an F-5 into the ringpost, but 'Taker kicks off and Brock eats ringpost instead. ‘Taker taken down by Big Show. Meanwhile, Brock grabs a chair, but gets it punched back into his face by Big Show. We go to commercials.

Back, and Big Show and Undertaker are slugging it out in the ring. Undertaker keeping it up with a few punches and kicks, but he eats a big boot. Big Show pauses for a second to shove Lesnar off, then hits a leg drop on Undertaker, as he goes to cover, 'Taker locks in a triangle choke. Brock gets in and breaks this up, only to eat a chokeslam from Undertaker. Cover, Ref counts 2 before being pulled out by Big Show. Big Show back in and gets a slam on Undertaker, Cover, broken up by Brock. Big Show and Brock brawl for a bit. Brock hits a big vertical suplex; cover is broken up by Undertaker. 'Taker trying to take Brock for the last ride, but Big Show interrupts and eats a flurry of Undertaker fisticuffs. Brock grabs 'Taker from behind and F-5's him. Cover is broken up by Big Show. Brock eats a chokeslam, but Lesnar kicks out. Lesnar sent to the corner, and Big Show going up for the top rope chokeslam. Undertaker breaks it up. Brock and Undertaker fight it out while Big Show is crotched on the top rope. Brock gets the better of 'Taker and goes up for the Superplex. Undertaker comes up from below and Brock takes the last ride. Cover: 1-2-3!

After, Undertaker recovers, and Angle gets up and they stand toe to toe. Cole wonders what's going to happen next week, WWE Logo, and we are outta here.

Damn, Smackdown, your PPV isn't for another two months! Everything on this show had a Main event feel and nothing let us down, thanks to a super hot crowd and great performances in the ring from everyone involved. Even A-Train was halfway watchable (That half being Benoit, of course). I personally would have flipped the order of the last two matches, but it worked just fine either way. Excellent show (it even kept my non-fan roomie enthralled), and I look forward to what they do to build on this.

See ya next week!


SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28




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