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For One Night Only: 
Now with 25% Less "Smack"
September 12, 2003

by Big Danny T.
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


Quick couple of corrections from last week. The Iron Man Match isnít for another 7 days, not tonight, as I erroneously reported last week. And the APAís butler is Bruce, not James. I donít know where I got that from. I blame it on my roommate for deciding to talk to me at that particular moment.

Anyway, today is September 11th. Iím not going to get all sentimental and sappy here. I just hope that everyone took a moment to pay tribute to those who gave everything two years ago.

9/11 Tribute, WWE Leader, Opening credits, and we are LIVE from Birmingham, Alabama for a Special 90 minute Smackdown. Out in the parking lot, Brian Hebner directs traffic to set up the Ring of Cars for the Parking Lot Street Fight later on.

But right now, Rey Mysterio (with footage of last weeks successful title defense and Tajiri's misting of him afterwards) and Billy Kidman are out to take on Tajiri and Nunzio (W/O the FBI).

Nunzio sneak attacks Rey to start. Nunzio with the whip and charges in after, but Rey gets a foot up and hits a Tilt-a-whirl head scissors. Tag to Kidman. Nunzio picked up and airplane spun around, Rey dropkicks Nunzio to stop it. Rey with the offense, but Tajiri sneaks a kick in and the tide turns to Nunzio. Cover, only gets two. Tag to Tajiri, who unloads with some kicks, then tags Nunzio back in. Nunzio keeping up with the offense until Kidman gets a dropkick. Kidman crawling for the tag, But Tajiri races across the ring to knock Rey off the ropes. Tajiri and aims a kick for Kidmanís head, but he ducks and hits a belly to back suplex. From here, everyone GETS ROWDY until Tajiri gets set up for the 619. Tajiri plays possum tho, and gets the back kick for the pin. After, Tajiri grabs the Cruiserweight title belt and clocks Rey with it.

Backstage, Vince flirts with Sable while on the phone with CRZ. He stops to compliment Big Show on how dapper he looks tonight when Stephanie interrupts him. She cries foul about Brock's treatment of Zack last week. Vince pleads ignorance, and Steph goes off on a diatribe about how Brock is a monster and a bully. Speak of the devil, Brock is here, fresh from his latest bit of Shock treatment. He and Steph verbally spar for a bit, and Brock says he wants a match tonight, and proposes a handicap match: him vs. Kurt Angle, Undertaker and Zack Gowan. Steph reminds him that thanks to Brock, none of them are here tonight. So Brock decides to pick from present company. He turns down Big Show because he's faced him before, and the same with Vince. He turns to Sable and Sable has a blonde moment when she doesn't pick up on Brocks leading. After giving up on Sable, Brock turns to Steph and says that it would make for a great match. Vince agrees, but offers Steph an out: either she can wrestle Brock tonight, or she can quit. Steph huffs off and they wonder aloud what her answer is going to be.


The Lugz Boot of the week is Torrie winning the Bikini contest last week, and then Shaniqua coming down and wiping all the divas out.

Backstage, Nidia and Torrie meet up with Dawn Marie and try to talk some sense into her. Dawn says she's not going to let Shaniqua just run around beating everyone up. She walks off and Nidia and Torrie share a worried look.

Out in the arena, Shaniqua is out, followed by Dawn Marie (both W/ new music)/ Dawn tries to fly around a bit, but Shaniqua stops that with a big clothesline. Dawn thrown out of the ring. Shaniqua follows and starts tossing Dawn around like a rag doll. After introducing Dawn to the ring steps, Shaniqua rolls her back in and goes for a chair. When she tries to use it, the ref stops her and distracts her for long enough for Nidia and Torrie to jump in the ring and stop the carnage. Shaniqua holds the both of them off for a bit, But Nidia gets a chair shot in and they all bail while Shaniqua shrugs it off. Shaniqua grabs the chair and tosses it up the ramp after the retreating women.

Up next, Benoit vs. Rhyno.

During the commercials, Heihachi smashes an axe.

Back, and Steph is agonizing over her decision. Sable injects her opinion and voices her support for whatever decision Steph may make. She also reassures Steph that if she quits, that Vince is sure to find a suitable replacement. Steph glares.

Out in the arena Benoit is out to take on Rhyno.

Lock up, Rhyno shoved off, and he gets in Benoits face. Rhyno with a kick, the exchange hammerlocks, do a bit of Chain wrestling, and Benoit goes for the Crossface quick, but Rhyno makes the ropes. Benoit getting Rhyno in the corner and unleashing the EDMONTON VIOLENCE! Stiff knife-edge chops are interrupted by a thumb to the eye. Rhyno pulls Chris out of the ring then distracts the ref while A-Train runs down and spinebusters Benoit into the ringpost. Benoit rolled back in and Rhyno covers, but Benoit kicks out at 2. We fade to commercial.

Back, and Rhyno is trying to superplex Benoit, and he succeeds! Cover, and Benoit kicks out at 2. Rhyno continues to work on Benoits back. Benoit hung in the tree of woe. A few kicks to the midsection, then a running shoulder. Rhyno drags him to the center of the ring and covers, but only gets 2. Rhyno locking in a sharpshooter, Benoit screams in pain. Benoit works his way to the ropes, but Rhyno continues to handle Benoit like a sack of potatoes. Rhyno going for a clothesline, But Benoit ducks, grabs a waistlock, leg sweeps Rhyno, then locks in a sharpshooter of his own! Rhyno makes the ropes. Rhyno back up with some offense, but Benoit surprises him with a German Suplex. Benoit up and calling for the Flying Headbutt. Rhyno meets him up top, but Benoit is able to hit a sunset flip into a powerbomb. Benoit covers, but only gets two. Rhyno up and spinebustering Benoit. Rhyno Up and going for the GOAR! Benoit reverses into a Crossface and Rhyno taps.

Backstage, and the APA are hosting a friendly poker game. Bruce scurries about and fetches beers, and Matt hardy berates Bradshaw about their treatment of Bruce. At that moment, Shannon runs up out of breath and lets Matt know that he got the OJ that he wanted, with no pulp. Matt goes ballistic, reminding Shannon of the Matt Fact that Matt likes EXTRA pulp in his OJ. EXTRA! Bradshaw and Farooq point out that Matt is engaging in a bit of Pot/Kettle/Black. Matt corrects them and says that Shannon is in a 7-step program for improvement, and suggests that the APA go attend a few AA meetings. They bicker for a bit, and Matt challenges the APA to a match, which is gladly accepted. Everyone heads out, but Bradshaw stops Farooq for a second. He reminds us all that today is September 11th and they raise a toast to all the Americans that became hero's two years ago.

Out in the parking lot, John Cena is in the ring and making sure that he can use everything there (The cars, the objects inside them, their own foreign objects.) Happy with the answer he got, he calls Eddie out and we go to commercial.

Back, and wrestlers have gathered around as Cena raps about how Eddie is secretly gay. Eddie arrives in his own low rider and it's on. Basic brawling all over here. Cena gets a delayed vertical on one of the cars. Cena goes and opens up a van and pulls out some lawn equipment. He grabs a Lawnmower and pull starts it. He goes after Eddie with it, but Eddie dodges and slams Cena on one of the cars. Eddie with a shovel and he uses it on Cena. They brawl some more. Eddie opens a trunk. Cena comes back and throws Eddie into it, slamming it shut. Cena talks trash over the trunk, but Eddie pops it open, catching Cena in the jaw. More brawling, with Eddie going through a windshield and Cenas head going through a drivers window. Cena returns the favor and covers, but Eddie kicks out. More brawling. Cena gets in a car and tries to drive off; But Eddie jumps in the passenger seat and rams Cena's head on the steering wheel, then burns him with the cigarette lighter. More brawling, and Cena back body drops Eddie on the hood of a car. They brawl some more and Eddie returns the favor. Eddie up on top of a van. Cena looks like he's going to get up, but Chavo pops up out of nowhere and blasts Cena with a hubcap. Eddie flies with the frogsplash, covers, and gets the 1-2-3. He and Chavo reunite, and Eddie complains of a headache. Chavo bundles Eddie up in the low rider and drives them out of there.

Back from commercials, and the APA are out to take on Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore (W/ Matt facts: Mat rarely uses turn signals, and Matt's entertainment system requires 5 remotes.)

Shannon starts with Farooq. Farooq waves Shannon off, who hits Farooq in the back to get his attention. Farooq continues to wave Shannon off, so Shannon shoves Farooq again. This was not a smart idea, as Farooq commences to beat down on Shannon. Shannon gets away and tags Matt in. Matt slaps Farooq coming in, gets beat down for his troubles. Tag to Bradshaw and we can pretty much skip to the end. Oh all right, I'll recap what happens in between: Bradshaw offense, Matt and Shannon get a nice looking double team move where Matt dropkicks Bradshaw in the middle of a powerbomb and Shannon gets a rollup for two. Clothesline from Heck, and that's all she wrote. After, Bruce is down with the silver platter, and the APA share in a victory repast.

We recap Brocks shenanigans over the last couple weeks, complete with scary movie music. We hype the Iron Man match and Brock VS Steph up next, and it's time for commercials.

Back from commercials, and Vince is out to do Brock's ring introduction personally. Brock is out to the assorted boo's and "you Tapped Out!" chants. Vince lets us know that it's decision time for Stephanie. They call Steph out, and she responds. Steph is in her ring attire. She makes her way to the ring trepidatiously. Vince asks her if she's serious, and tries to call her bluff. Steph doesn't back down and slaps Vince. Brock pounces on Steph, who answers with a low blow. Vince grabs Steph's leg, and she kicks him in the nads with the other. Brock snatches Steph out of the ring and hangs her on the barricade. Brock covers her and laughs maniacally as he tells her about how he's going to crush her with the ring steps. He then goes to get them, but Steph scurries under the ring and gets away. Steph hightails it up the ramp with Brock in hot pursuit. We get a few seconds of Vince clutched in pain in the middle of the ring. Brock re-emerges from the back with Steph slung over his shoulders. Brock is all set to deliver an F-5 on the ring post when Kurt Angle is out to interrupt Brocks fun. Kurt soundly beats Brock around. Brock collects Vince and they retreat as Kurt talks trash after them. WWE Logo and we are out.

All right show this week. Nothing momentous, but what they gave us entertained well enough. The Parking lot brawl could have been much worse, and the Dudleyís could take notes from the way the APA showed their patriotism tonight. Everything else was perfectly good TV.

Looking forward to the Iron Man match next week. Until then, see ya!


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