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The Traditional Cinco de Mayo Celebration:
A Heel Turn!
May 6, 2005

by Big Danny T.
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


Happy Cinco de Mayo! I hope that everyone is celebrating Mexican independence in his or her own way. Me, I celebrated my Mexican heritage by heading down to Golden Corral and having a big Taco Salad (“Is it good for you? Of course it is. It’s a salad, isn’t it?”)

Anyway, lets see how Smackdown celebrates this occasion and get on with the wrasslin!

WWE leader, and last week, Eddie walked out on Rey when Rey needed him most.

No opening and we go live (taped) from Trenton, Noo Joisey with Rey Mysterio out to give us a piece of his mind. He has to give Eddie his props: Eddie is a great liar. He actually believed 

that he and Eddie were family, and Eddie played him. Well, playtime is over, and Rey wants Eddie out, RIGHT NOW!

Eddie Guererro obliges, with no music, even. That means that this is SERIOUS. Crowd has no idea how to take Eddie right now. Ahh, wait, there’s an “Eddie Sucks!” chant. He has a mic and after Rey eggs him on, Eddie says he has NOTHING to say. Rey takes this as well as you’d expect and demands an explanation. Eddie keeps letting his gaze wander, and Rey keeps dragging him back. Rey says that all those things that Eddie said about being La Familia were just words. Well, words mean nothing to him any more, and if Eddie won’t talk, then maybe he’ll fight, and then slaps him across the face. Eddie just remains calm and collected, and says that he never laid a hand on Rey like that. Rey says that’s true, but he let MNM do his dirty work for him last week, and slaps him again. Eddie says that he’s not going to fight Rey tonight, tomorrow, next week, or ever. He then drops the mic and turns his back on Rey. Rey tries to get in his face, but Eddie simply steps around him and walks away. Rey tries a last attempt to get Eddie into the ring by asking him if he’s afraid of getting beat again. This gets Eddie to pause, but he continues to walk on out of the arena and into commercials.

Back, and Rey WANTS Eddie in the ring and is exhorting Theodore Long for a match. Chavo barges in and gets in Reys face for slapping Eddie. Rey calls bullshit, and Chavo comes back and says that Rey will never be a Guererro. Rey says dam right and clocks Chavo. They brawl until Teddy can get a security detail to break them up.

Out in the ring, Matt Morgan is out to take on some jobber that doesn’t even get his name mentioned before Matt can snatch the mic away. Matt then stammers his way through an exhortation to run away because the ring belongs to him. When the kid doesn’t run, Matt attacks, and after about 30 seconds of squashtacticness, Matt hits the Morg-O-Matic and that’s it.

Tazz and Cole are impressed by Matt, and they have just gotten word that later tonight a street fight between Rey and Chavo has been booked. But before that, we go to the Making of John Cena’s video. Hey, look, there’s Christina Aguilera to lend some street cred! That’s coming up later, but now, commercials!

Back, and last week, J”B”L won the #1 contendership for the WWE title.

This week, tho, Orlando Jordan (W/ baby Don King hair club kit) is out to take on Booker T (W/ Backstage vignette featuring Sharmell.)

Lockup, and they fight in the corner. Ref breaks them up, and Booker taunts Orlando after the break. Lockup again, they exchange wristlocks, and Booker has chops for Orlando, but Orlando dropkicks Booker out of the ring. Orlando chases him out and they exchange chops, but Orlando gets the better of the exchange. Booker rolled back in, and Orlando with the rear choke. Booker fights up and elbows to the midsection gets him out. Booker trying to rally, but an elbow from Orlando blocks a charge and Orlando is in control again. Orlando with the rights, then another rear choke. Booker fights out again, and this time, he’s able to stay on top of things with a back kick, suplex, and then going up to the top rope. Orlando is there to crotch him on the top turnbuckle. Orlando going for the suplerplex, but Booker fights him off. Orlando back up, but booker is there with the Missile Dropkick. Booker covers, but Orlando kicks out. Booker up and ready for endgame. He goes for the scissors kick, but Orlando dodges and tries to hit his own finisher, but Booker reverses that into a Book-End. Scissors kick hits this time, and Booker covers for the 1-2-3.

Backstage, and Sharmell is proud of her husband. Kurt sneaks up behind her and says, “How can you be proud of him?” Sharmell, not intimidated in the slightest, says, “Excuse you?” Kurt then blames Booker for losing his shot at the title, and then says that he’s challenging Booker to a match at Judgement Day. He wants Sharmell at ringside. That way, she can hear Booker scream as he gets his ankle broken by the ankle lock. He leaves, and Sharmell looks somewhat concerned.


Back, and MNM is out (with footage from last weeks beatdown of Rey) to defend the tag team titles against Scotty Too Hotty and Shannon Moore.

Mercury and Scotty start. Lockup, into the corner, and Mercury gets a free shot in on the break. He tries to follow up, but Scotty dropkicks him, tags Shannon in, and they hit a few double team moves. As the ref gets Scotty out, Shannon gets tripped up off the ropes and as Nitro holds him down, Mercury gets a flying knee. Nice! Match goes back and forth after that, with MNM controlling most of the time, but Scotty able to get a few crowd pops in. he sets Mercury up for the worm, but as he’s about to hit it, Milena is up on the apron showing off her * ahem* talent. Scotty gets distracted, and is able to stave off an attack from behind by nitro, but a stray eye poke sets him up for the finisher and that’s that.

After the match, MNM look to beat down, but here comes Rey with the Lead Pipe. He chases both men out of the ring, but Nitro is able to get a drop on him and they leave him lying as we go to commercials.

Back, and John “Bradshaw” Layfield is out. He says that the people chant for Cena, but what they want, and what they need are two different things. That’s why J”B”L still caries around the old title belt, because he feels that the real champ is here! J”B”L says he doesn’t blame the audience for not being able to relate, because after being knocked down like he was at Wrestlemania, most if not all of the people here would curl up and quit. J”B”L says he’s better than that and that he didn’t go through Rey Mysterio, Big Show, Kurt Angle, and Booker T to quit. He says that John Cena is a one-hit wonder and to enjoy his 15 minutes of fame (“I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments.” S. Keith) He predicts victory at Judgement day, and no better time than now to bring out…

John Cena. J”B”L says that he should soak up his last 15 minutes. Cena goes to the materiel that got him here: making homosexual references and suggesting that J”B”L has poor personal hygiene. Cena repeats that J”B”L isn’t a quitter, and then reminds him that their match at Judgement day is an “I Quit” match. Just in case people forgot what that was in the past 5 or so years since “Foley/Rock,” he goes on to explain that it’s a match so brutal, that the only way to win is to get your opponent say “I Quit.” J”B”L looks like he’s never actually understood the concept before and gets a horrified expression on his face. Cena goes on to say that he’s going to enjoy beating the hell out of J”B”L, and he’s going to love it when J”B”L says “I Quit” just before going unconscious.  He drops the mic, play his music, and he’s outta here. OK, after the gay jokes, that was the John Cena that we actually enjoyed before he lowered his material to 6th grade “Playing the Dozens” sessions.

Back from commercials, and Chavo is having a powwow with MNM. More on this later, I guess, as we go to…

Kurt Angle! No medal tonight, as he’s in no mood for the invitational tonight. He bullies the kid that was to challenge him for it out of the ring, but then says he’s changed his mind. He cheap shots the kid and proceeds to beat him down. Euro uppercuts, face buster, camel clutch, angle slam, Ankle lock. The kid taps quickly, and after a few seconds, Kurt finally lets go and kicks him out of the ring. Kurt is pissed, and he’s demanding Booker give him an answer to his challenge for a match at Judgement Day. Booker is out, and without any further ado, he accepts Kurt’s challenge for the match at Judgement Day. Kurt thinks that’s great, but it’s too bad that he’s going to make Booker tap. It’s too bad that he’s going to break Booker’s ankle. And it’s especially too bad that after Booker gets his ankle broken, that he’s going to have to go home * points at Sharmell * with that gutter slut! Booker, understandably, takes some SERIOUS umbrage at this, and goes after Kurt. He gets the better of Kurt, and then holds him up for Sharmell to get a few good slaps in. Kurt rolled into the ring, and Booker follows, but Kurt is up and he surprises Booker with an Angle slam. Booker is down and Kurt turns his attention to Sharmell. Sharmell does her best impression of a horror movie victim and stumbles as she tries to run up the ramp. Kurt stalks after her and is about to slap on the ankle lock when Fit Finlay is out to kick his ass! Wait, no, he’s just holding Kurt back as the ref squad attends to Sharmell. During the chaos, we go to commercial.

Back, and the Smackdown crew went to Italy over the weekend!

Backstage, and Eddie is looking pained and thoughtful. Chavo barges in, and asks to talk to Eddie. He doesn’t wait for permission before going off about how Eddie is such a better man than he is. You see, Chavo would have gone off on Rey if he’d have slapped him. He says that tonight, Chavo is going to get revenge for the whole Guererro family. Eddie just watches Chavo rant with a detached air that just barely has a hit of “Bullshit detector” tuned in. Chavo leaves, and before we go to commercials Carlito is WALKING!

“I spit in the face of people who don’t want to be cool!” Carlito Caribbean Cool is out to take on Hardcore Holly.

Lockup and Hardcore goes right for the side headlock. Carlito pushes out and gets a hiptoss. Hardcore put into the corner and Carlito hits a rifle shot for a knife-edge chop! He goes for another one, but Hardcore channels his inner Sting and gives a primal scream to shrug it off. Carlito thrown into the corner and Hardcore gets a few knife-edges of his own, and then gets an Ab kick. Hardcore takes over with Carlito getting a few flurries of offense. Hardcore sets up for the Alabama Slam, but Carlito grabs the ropes and after reversing an attempted suplex, he gets a backslide on Hardcore and uses the ropes as leverage to get the win out of nowhere. He drops out of the ring, and methinks some editing went on, because we go directly to a replay of the finish, and when we come back, Carlito is in the middle of telling us that next week, on Carlito’s Cabana, He’s going to have the Big Show on, and he’s going to make him an offer he can’t refuse. Carlito takes a bite of the apple, spits, and we are off to commercials.

Back, Theodore Long is in the ring, and after reminding us that “you can’t see me” will be in stores everywhere this Tuesday, he throws us to John Cena’s music video for “Bad, Bad man.”

Ok, for as much as I dislike Cena’s current characterization, I loved this vid. It captured a typical A-Team episode beautifully, right down to the gun battles where no one ever got shot, or even winged. Oh, and Gary Coleman is The Rock of pop culture references. Put him in anywhere, and you are guaranteed to be entertained!

Back, and it is time for the Street Fight between Chavo Guererro and Rey Mysterio.

Rey has the lead pipe from earlier and is not in a good mood. Chavo bails until Rey gets rid of the pipe. Back in, and they stand off until Rey goes in with some kicks. Chavo gets the better of him with some brawling in the corner and Rey reverses a whip with a drop toehold into the turnbuckle. Rey keeping it up until Chavo ducks a springboard cross body. Chavo going for a sunset flip, but Rey reverses into a pinning combination of his own. Chavo up and back body-dropping Rey out to the apron. Rey comes back in with a springboard into a hurricanrana that looks like it nearly breaks Chavo’s neck as it whips him out of the ring! Rey following, and Chavo reverses a whip into a ringpost. Chavo gets some good shots in outside. Rey rolled back in and Chavo comes back with a steel chair. But Rey’s been taking lessons from RVD and he dropkicks the chair back into Chavo’s face. Cover gets 2. Chavo overpowers Rey and slides him face first out of the ring. Chavo out and grabbing a ladder from under the ring. He sets it up in the corner, but Rey wins the brawl. Rey in, and he dropkicks one side of the ladder, levering it into Chavo’s head! Fast paced brawling after this, with Chavo getting the upper hand again and setting the ladder up against the ring. Rey charges in and Chavo back body drops him, but Rey lands right side up and follows up with a moonsault off the ladder! Both men back in, and after more brawling, Rey gets up to the top and looks to do a seated splash with the chair, but Chavo springs up and pulls Rey down. Chavo with a couple chair shots, Gory Special, and cover only gets two. Chavo signaling to the back, and as he holds Rey’s head on the ropes, MNM come out and grab the ladder. Chavo looks to slide Rey into the ladder, but Rey reverses and gets Chavo with a couple rights, and then dropkicks the ladder into Mercury and Nitro! Chavo right up behind him and beating him down. Rey blocks an attempted suplex into the ring and gets a shoulder through the ropes. Rey inside and after a dropkick into the chair, Chavo is able to dodge a 6-1-9 attempt. Rey with a head scissors, but Chavo reverses into a facebuster bomb. Chavo frustrated and he sets the chair up in the middle of the ring. Chavo dragging Rey up and Rey is woozy, so he stumbles back. Chavo with a couple shots, and looking to ram Rey’s head into the chair, but Rey is playing possum and he drop toeholds Chavo into the chair. Chavo set into the chair, Rey outside, and he hits the seated springboard senton onto the seated Chavo! Leg is hooked, 1-2-3, and Rey is your winner!

After the match, MNM jump into the ring and the three on one beatdown begins. As the crowd gets up an “Eddie!” chant, MNM gesture to hit their finisher.

“Viva la Rasa!” Here comes Eddie! MNM shrug his appearance off, and that proves to be their downfall. Eddie jumps in the ring and sends them both packing WITH AUTHORITY! After clearing the ring, he pulls Rey to his feet. They embrace. Eddie asks him if he’s all right, and then clotheslines him out of his boots! Crowds chant is stopped dead, and then turns into “Eddie Sucks!” Rey slid out of the ring. Eddie picks Rey up, shoulders him, and rams his head into the ringpost. Eddie tears Reys mask open and beats Rey upside the head. Rey is bleeding under the mask. Finally, Eddie goes, gets some ring steps, and sets them up in front of Rey. He then picks Rey up, hoists him up into a vertical suplex, holds him there for a second, and then drops down, breaking Reys back across the steps as he falls to the side! Sick! Rey is bloody and out cold. Eddie steps up on top of the ringsteps, gets that same psychotically blank expression from last week, and with that visual, we fade out, WWE logo, and we are outta here.

Wow. Even the most hardened smark has got to look at that final visual of Eddie standing over Rey’s prone body and have a chill run down his spine. Everything else tonight was very entertaining, but it was all just icing for the cake that is the Eddie/Rey feud.

See ya next week!


SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28




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